that made me cry...Originally Posted by Poppycock
RIP to both of them
that made me cry...
RIP to both of them
Maybe this world is another planet's hell
― Aldous Huxley
I know there is a post out there somewhere in which Travis talks about his childhood..... I don't know where it is at the moment. Did he experience physical abuse or witness domestic violence? I believe he did experience neglect, correct?
The reason I ask is that if the neglect was prominent (assuming he also experienced physical abuse/witness to DV), then this would tend to condition him to being needy/clingy/insecure in intimate relationships as opposed to being an angry controller. This would be particularly true if the neglect was prevalent throughout all the years before he went to his grandmother's at age 8/
lol that will come w the jail conduct but then they have the issue of coded magazines and pen thief to deal with :)
I don't get much into bashing games just to bash her 24/7. They aren't of interest to me past an occasional drift into humor. 24/7 hysteria isn't my cup of tea "omg she moved, Omg, those hands" just for the sake of ranting a 1000 omg I hate her over and over. Also, I don't hate her, but I could taunt her with my pen stacks. She's not worth hate ( my own soul) or the energy hate takes, I could be reading and learning with that time and energy. There's always something to learn and that is the challenge I enjoy the most.
"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are" --- Benjamin Franklin
all of the above.
Jodi ruins everything.
"The difference between theory and reality is this: In theory, there is no difference between the two. In reality, there is."
If you lay down with dogs, you should't be surprised when you wind up with fleAs.
Illegitimi non carborundum!
5/8/2008
Intro to Raising You
Poster: Travis
Mood:
Category: None
Alright kids after much deliberation, I have decided to post the introduction to the book I am writing. It is not Biographical although it may seem that way from the introduction. It is heavy and I hesitated posting it because it is only partially edited and very revealing. My biggest concern is that some of you may see me seeking pity as a motive. However there is no reason for pity. What you soon will read in my opinion has been the most valuable time of my life. I would change nothing. I have thanked and continue to thank the Lord for these experiences. I see them strictly as blessings and count myself fortunate for them. Furthermore I have suffered no negative side effects from this. With the exception of a dis-taste for insects ( you'll see what I mean). This fact, relative to many of the stories I have heard is a miracle. Which is yet another reason I have to be grateful. Thanks go to Katie Barnes for helping me with the Editing. If you see a grammatical error it's because I didn't let her scourer it yet. The name of the book is "Raising You" I'll explain the meaning of the title in a later post. I'm not afraid of any comments so don't be afraid to post them. Enjoy.
Raising You
By
Travis Alexander
My childhood unfortunately was very much like any child's that had drug addict parents. My father was never around which left my siblings and I to the fate given by my mother. A good woman, with the intent at an early age to be a loving mom. A few poor decisions changed that. As she progressively got more involved in drugs she progressively got less capable of raising children. Most commonly was a beating for waking her up. It hurt but we got used to it. I learned how to turn so that when she hit me she would strike my back and arms, the pain was less there. If it was just that I think it would have been relatively manageable. It was not it however. You see when you are high on meth for a week when you eventually come down there is a lot of sleep to catch up on. When you sleep, for four days with a house full of kids, there isn't any food cooked. We would eat what was there but before long what was edible would be eaten or rot and then what was rotten would be eaten too. I don't remember much of this I can only think of one instance where I found a piece of moldy bread on the side of the fridge which represented the last thing we could eat. I remember being teased by canned food. Knowing full well what was in the can but not knowing how to use a can opener. I remember the filth admittedly caused by us kids that compounded on itself for weeks and months at a time. With that came thousands and thousands of roaches. My sisters and I found some amusement in the fact that an entire colony of albino roaches had broken out so that house looked like a bunch of moving salt and pepper crawling on everything. To this day I only have one phobia, roaches. There was nothing more disgusting to me than to wake up to feel roaches crawling on my body. The good news is that we finally lost that house. The bad news is our next option was to live in a camper shell in my Aunts back yard. We kept it next to the Garage where the washer and dryer were. The washer wasn't hooked up to plumbing so the dirty water would drain into the back yard and stagnate there. We were there for more than a year four feet tall, five feet wide and six feet long, my mother, my three sisters and I. We didn't have the convenience of bathing every day so we tended to stink. I didn't mind going with out a bath that much really. I was a boy like most and didn't have a problem being dirty. But I was scared of bathing because if I once got the bathroom floor wet and my mother accused of me of urinating on the floor and threw me half way through a wall.
School wasn't much better, when your clothes are as dirty as the rest of you and you stink and have lice you don't make a ton of friends. Sadly as you could imagine I was mocked for my appearance. Nothing too harsh, no where close to what was said at home. I will not give much detail on that as I feel it is inappropriate to state. I will say though I have never heard in any movie, on any street corner, or amongst the vilest of men any string of words so offensive and hateful, said with such disgust as was the words that my mother said to my sisters and I. I remember my mother emptying a revolver on the car my father was driving and my father subsequently taking an axe to my mother's belongings and destroying them. I remember being on the other side of the front door when my father kicked it down. The police were called that time along with many others, but I knew what had to be said and knew they would leave us to more of the same. I remember the day I came to the conclusion there was a God. I was 6. I screamed as loud as I could all day long for my near by grand mother to get me and take me for the weekend. I screamed so long and loud that I actually woke up my comatose mother long enough to beat me for waking her up. When she went back to bed I went back to screaming to God. Sure enough that evening she came and picked me up, while my mother slept. I could go on and tell you more of mine and worse stories of my siblings but I think enough has been said. I will say that this is nothing, nothing at all compared to the whole of it. This continued until I was ten, when I ran away and I never came back.
During this time I could think of two fond memories of my childhood. The first was Sesame street. My Sisters and I watched it everyday and it took our minds to Sesame street where kids were happy and learning. It took our minds away from Allwood Dr. where we got the Hell beat out of us.
The other was visiting the home of my Great-Grandfather Vic. My Mother didn't have very much family and even less that she got along with, but she adored my Grandfather. He only lived about an hour away from our family in southern California, but it was rare that she was in any condition that she'd let Vic see her in. About twice a year my Mother would fix herself and us up enough for a visit with my Grandfather. For the most part our visits would be stereotypical. He'd take us out for pizza, to walk his dogs, play checkers and with other toys he kept for us, and taught me how to write the alphabet. However there was one thing that was out of the ordinary about our visits. Every time before my Mother, siblings and I would leave I would go to hug my Grandfather goodbye. Without exception before I received my coveted hug the cheery casual countenance of my Grandfather would change to something very serious. He would then grab me by my shoulders and shake me, then would follow those words, those words that alter every aspect of my life, "Travis, you need to know that you are special, that there is not anything that you can't do. There is something great inside you. You're special Travis, don't you ever forget it." That was quickly followed by a rigid hug that would squeeze the breath out of me.
Now there is an easy explanation for why my life has been in my opinion, amazing. It is the same reason I have had success financially and otherwise. It is the same reason I feel that every facet of my life has been blessed and continues to be more and more everyday. The reason is that the words my Grandfather said were spoken with such conviction that I believed him. You see what I wasn't aware of then, that I have since figured out was my Grandfather was savvy to the way Mother was raising her children. She would often make remarks while coming down from drugs about how miserable we all were, that we ruined her life, that we were worthless. Although those words hurt very deeply as you could imagine; every time she would scream those words I would hear his words instead, every time I would feel her fist sink into my back, I could feel my Grandfather's hands on my shoulders, and I knew she couldn't reach what was great inside of me. And again I'd hear the words "You're special Travis, don't ever forget it." Then in my mind I would think, "This woman has no idea what she is talking about, she doesn't know that I am special." No matter how loud she'd yell those colorful words, she could never top the conviction of my Great-Grandfather Vic. Since then I have come to realize two things. First my Great-Grandfather was right, I am special. I took his advice; I never forgot it and I never will. Second I have learned I am no better than anyone else. So as you read this book I hope that you will let these pages grab you by the shoulders and shake you and tell you that you are special. That there is something great inside you. I pray that you will allow the words you read stare deep into your eyes and instill into you that there isn't anything that you can not do. My desire is that this book will do for you what Grandpa Vic did for me. Help me believe what is already true. That you are special. www.travisalexander.net
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5/9/2008 8:42:00 PM
Chad Perkins
Travis - you are amazing. This is unbeli...
If you lay down with dogs, you should't be surprised when you wind up with fleAs.
Neither Nurmi nor JW wanted to be on the case. Nurmi even started his own practice to avoid it, but was told otherwise.
how do you know this?
We seem to have forgotten about the mitigation specialist's hand in this too! Disco Donna
I am a bit confused. I thought Bobby Juarez was dead and I found this video of some chick dated from 3/13 talking about him blackmailing her and that he was JA's first love and that Bobby said Hodi was mentally ill and this chick felt that Hodi needed "healing"..its a weird one..
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=pLiFy...%3DpLiFyta_6nE
Thanks Hatchan! I knew I could count on MDS to help me out there.
Based on that post, it sounds like physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, and domestic violence were mixed together pretty evenly for Travis in his early years, sadly. His thoughts about his grandfather match up with research on abused kids which indicates that one of the important protective factors for these children is to have at least one stable adult in their life who cares about them.
That definitely seems to be the case with Travis. Those rare moments with his grandfather, who uttered those supportive, encouraging words to him on each visit, took root in Travis. This short story he wrote in that blog post is actually a really great illustration of the effect of just one caring adult in the life of an abused and neglected child.
I don't know about Willmott but Nurmi requested off the case and the judge said nope. That was when he requested the 250/hr.
Gov beating their own banner is politics not success. Interesting wording can skew figures easily.so you think he is still "hanging" around?
FYI: this is from 2008. 95% conviction rate for maracopia co. woohoo!
http://www.maricopacountyattorney.or...ual-Report.pdf
"Out of 40,815 criminal felony fi lings, 39,061 resulted in a conviction (95%)"
Charged with a felony, off on a misdemeanor would fit that line. If JA gets manslaughter 20 yrs she would too but is that worth celebrating? Not in my book.
"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are" --- Benjamin Franklin
Reading that intro from travis' book, it makes sense why he was attracted to jodi
Travis was abused by a woman (his mom), so that no doubt probably made him susceptible to be drawn towards someone who treated him the same way
Being a "DV expert", Alice should have picked up on this fact
I sell on ebay. If you go over $20,000 in sales by payment via paypal, money is to be declared as income.
One of the talking heads said "anything less than murder 1 is a loss." $1.4 million and 3+ months so far. IMO they are correct anything less than murder 1 is definitely a loss.
I don't know if this is what you're referring to... his (short lived) blog. There is a story he starts to write that he says "is not a Biography" but it is pretty obvious it is, for the most part, based on his childhood and life...
"Travis Alexander's Being Better Blog"
(This is just a bunch of random thoughts, excerpts from a book I am writing, or me being stupid)
http://travisalexander.blogspot.com/
Maybe this world is another planet's hell
― Aldous Huxley
Travis's father died when Travis was 20 (on his birthday). In his family of origin, Travis had older male half-siblings, one of which stole his identity. He also has "uncle Mike" who is often in the court room. He, like Alyce describes, had a father and father figures in his life. The body of family therapy literature demonstrates that in families like Travis, where the parental generation is dysfunctional, sibling subsystem are very close, even enmeshed. Without more information, I can only guess that Travis had a position of authority beyond his years. I am not surprised by the depth of pain the siblings are showing. Imagine getting through that childhood to the other side to have your hero killed.
Travis's mother died in 2005. It appears he wasnt connected to her. Despite the years of hunger, homelessness, parental substance abuse, domestic violence Travis was able to hold down a job and be successful in his career. He had many friends and acquaintances. He was able to live on his own. We cant say any of this about Jodi, can we.
I imagine his ability to detect harm and/or deceit in a loved one was damaged, especially with regard to women. When reading his last texts to Jodi, he tells her how she hurt him and how those hurts were worse than other hurts in his life. To me he is baring his soul there, cause his public behavior is cocky, arrogant and boastful. Travis covered his hurts well.
Be careful out there.
Jodi quickly adapted to a jailed mindset. As some of you know I worked in forensic psychiatry for about 5 years...prisoners are bored and spend inordinate amounts of time figuring out how to break rules and get over. her sneaky behaviors in the courtroom are testament to what a good criminal she is.
Alyce is an elderly jock in bloomers! Poor thing is looking like she is taking xanax.Brillig! .... Alyce is definitely bloomer material. (There, that keeps my post on topic.)
OMG, this is the funniest today.
Martinez has impeached Alyce. Impeachment only means that she lied (like Bill Clinton did), its not something that she will be punished for...its Martinez's job to impeach her. Of course, she will NOT forfeit pay or pay a fine, this isn't law and order! 'Sides, the worst punishment is that Alyce became JM's witness. And by becoming his witness, Jodi will pay the price. Which I personally really like. There is hell on earth.
She probably did. She wasn't there to defend Travis, she was there to "de-edify" him. Her sole purpose was to protect Jodi. Which I believe the jury saw right through (I hope)....
I think you've lost your mind and can ask her for a discount to treatment.
Read her CV, she's no big name in DV. She's an advocate / meeting coordinaor / fairy tale speaker that appears to have to grovel around for small pieces of work stints in a pot lock fashion. She hasn't published or been the sole author to any high status publications field or book. Couldn't even start out with a published thesis.
"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are" --- Benjamin Franklin
Hello. I finally came out of the lurker closet to register. Home with a leg injury in Feb when I first got hooked on this trial -- returning to Real Life @ the end of this month. I was going to say more until I saw this pic of Travis & his dear grandmother...Now to chip away @ the granite boulder in my throat
Stay well Everyone.
Is there any chance a mistrial will be declared on Monday? Was this the reason why Travis' sisters were crying on Friday?
Exactacly. People who are victims of childhood abuse often dont have the ability to detect harm. Its part of chronic complex trauma. No way could he pick up that someone is going to hurt him. Alyce, Alyce, Alyce, why couldnt you be fair?
he has made at least four motions to the court to be released off this case, including one that said he had left the PD office and now was in private practice and that this case could hurt his new practice - but they were all denied, how ever they did give him a raise from what he was making as a PD to $250 and hour because he did leave the PD office - i think wilmont only makes 90K a year in the PD office in comparison
agree with this, although I'll admit a few forays into sarcasm-- my work can be seen here: http://mydeathspace.com/vb/showthrea...-Trial-Related
Maybe this world is another planet's hell
― Aldous Huxley
Of course not, the knife went to Mesa
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