Melissa Qualkenbush (20) died after Michael Schrum (28) allegedly drove drunk

[kissmedeadly8989]

http://www.mydeathspace.com/article/2009/02/03/Melissa_Qualkenbush_(20)_died_after_Michael_Schrum _(28)_allegedly_drove_drunk_and_wrecked_their_vehi cle

Hmmm it would appear after reading Melissa's blogs that she had an eating disorder.  I'll never be able to understand the mindset of some one with an eating disorder.  Especially after reading her blogs.  "An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person." "Starving isn't the problem.  It's the cure."   :|

[bowieluva]

[quote author=kissmedeadly8989 link=topic=18462.msg1172610#msg1172610 date=1233635140]
http://www.mydeathspace.com/article/2009/02/03/Melissa_Qualkenbush_(20)_died_after_Michael_Schrum _(28)_allegedly_drove_drunk_and_wrecked_their_vehi cle

Hmmm it would appear after reading Melissa's blogs that she had an eating disorder.  I'll never be able to understand the mindset of some one with an eating disorder.  Especially after reading her blogs.  "An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person." "Starving isn't the problem.  It's the cure."   :|
[/quote]
It's a mental disease. The person does not see his or her body the way other people do.

[kissmedeadly8989]

[quote author=bowieluva link=topic=18462.msg1172618#msg1172618 date=1233636037]
It's a mental disease. The person does not see his or her body the way other people do.
[/quote]

I know, but I still think it's hard to wrap my mind around that.  I've watched way too many documentaries on eating disorders.  They were all beyond frustrating.

[bowieluva]

[quote author=kissmedeadly8989 link=topic=18462.msg1172622#msg1172622 date=1233636132]
I know, but I still think it's hard to wrap my mind around that.  I've watched way too many documentaries on eating disorders.  They were all beyond frustrating.
[/quote]

I know people who suffer from them, and they do not have the mental ability to control it. It's not the same as just dieting. They have lost all connection with reality. Often, it ties in with other mental disorders.

[MichaelSchrum]

You People are sick! Did either one of you bother to look at the last log-in on her page? It was 2006! That is not who she was anymore, but none of you know that because none of you knew her. I'm the guy that was driving the car, I Love Melissa With All My Heart, and I find it very disturbing that she died and all you can talk about is an eating disorder she hasn't had in a very, VERY long time. You see the girl in the pic with me, that's Melissa, The pics up on the other one are of Mandy. The reason Melissa doesn't have any pics up on that page is cause that is not who she was. I think you shouldn't bother talking about someone if you don't even know them. Go to myspace and search for melissaqualkenbush@yahoo.com its set to private but that is Melissa.

[Olivia]

[quote author=MichaelSchrum link=topic=18462.msg1308775#msg1308775 date=1245290964]
You People are sick! Did either one of you bother to look at the last log-in on her page? It was 2006! That is not who she was anymore, but none of you know that because none of you knew her. I'm the guy that was driving the car, I Love Melissa With All My Heart, and I find it very disturbing that she died and all you can talk about is an eating disorder she hasn't had in a very, VERY long time. You see the girl in the pic with me, that's Melissa, The pics up on the other one are of Mandy. The reason Melissa doesn't have any pics up on that page is cause that is not who she was. I think you shouldn't bother talking about someone if you don't even know them. Go to myspace and search for melissaqualkenbush@yahoo.com its set to private but that is Melissa.
[/quote]

Are you related to Kris?

Here is Melissa's other page - http://www.myspace.com/380003258

[Nancy Drew]

[quote author=MichaelSchrum link=topic=18462.msg1308775#msg1308775 date=1245290964]
You People are sick! Did either one of you bother to look at the last log-in on her page? It was 2006! That is not who she was anymore, but none of you know that because none of you knew her. I'm the guy that was driving the car, I Love Melissa With All My Heart, and I find it very disturbing that she died and all you can talk about is an eating disorder she hasn't had in a very, VERY long time. You see the girl in the pic with me, that's Melissa, The pics up on the other one are of Mandy. The reason Melissa doesn't have any pics up on that page is cause that is not who she was. I think you shouldn't bother talking about someone if you don't even know them. Go to myspace and search for melissaqualkenbush@yahoo.com its set to private but that is Melissa.
[/quote]Did you even bother to look at the date anyone here posted about it?

[bowieluva]

[quote author=Olivia link=topic=18462.msg1308777#msg1308777 date=1245291089]
Are you related to Kris?

Here is Melissa's other page - http://www.myspace.com/380003258


[/quote]
More importantly, was he the drunk driver?

[Jonelle]

Judging by the name and the admission to being the driver of her car ... I'm leaning towards an inevitable yeah he was the supposed drunk driver. Not sure if it's real though I mean, I'd hope he would be facing charges and incarcerated as we speak till he had his date in court but hey who knows these days.

[MichaelSchrum]

I'm not sure why I'm responding to this again.

[quote author=Jonelle link=topic=18462.msg1308977#msg1308977 date=1245309519]
Judging by the name and the admission to being the driver of her car ... I'm leaning towards an inevitable yeah he was the supposed drunk driver. Not sure if it's real though I mean, I'd hope he would be facing charges and incarcerated as we speak till he had his date in court but hey who knows these days.
[/quote]

I'm out on bond. Yes I am Melissa fiancee. I spent 7 months in Porter county jail before bonding out to await sentencing. I just found this forum/post last night. Court documents state that I was only at .10 bac. Some of you may know that that is barely above the legal limit. I was crossing a dangerous intersection and did not see the car coming. The newspapers have found a way to make me sound far worse. The guilt I feel for Melissa's death can never be described. You people can't imagine what this has been like. The Qualkenbush family has been my saving grace of sorts. Her parents acknowledge the fact it was an accident. They do not blame me, not even her twin brother. It's OK if you do, because you have no affect on my life, I just don't want people talking in a negative way about Melissa. So point you anger at me and fire away. I deserve it. The people who matter are the ones I see everyday.

Thank you Olivia for linking to her real page. Kris has become a very dear friend since the accident. I even talk with Bir and Liz from time to time. Its strange how people who don't know me and didn't know Melissa think that their opinions matter. Of course you would "hope I'm facing charges" you know why there hasn't been anything else in the news? Because nothing has changed. I'm still facing 9 felonies charges and 3 misdemeanors with a max sentience of 20 years in prison. I am in prison everyday though, in this life without her. I actually found it easier to deal with the loss of Melissa in jail, where I was forced to turn it off of sorts. Anyhow no one here cares, just PLEASE, PLEASE don't say negative things about 'Lissa, she truly is the most kind, loving, selfless person I have ever met.

[mialynneb]

Michael - I don't think anyone was attacking Melissa.  Someone found the old myspace and yes people will speculate on what you put out there for the world to see.

If you stick around here you will see the reason many of us ended up at this site is because we lost a loved one.  Many of us are pretty caring people and are there for eachother.  It's fine if we don't have an affect on your life but we have an interest just like many other boards on the internet.  You expect us not to judge Melissa based on her profile well then don't judge us based on a few comments on anorexia.

I'm glad that wasn't the person she was anymore.  I had an eating disorder in high school and I know how much of an isolated world it can be. 

Now, trying not to sound dickish, .10 is still over the limit.  I'm sorry this happened and I'm usually pretty balls out against drunk driving (lost 3 very good friends to a drunk driver) but I can't remember when someone has actually come onto the board and admitted as such.  I'm glad Melissa's family has been so forgiving; I'm sure this has helped you in some way. 

If anything this can be a learning experience for others - just get a cab or call a friend.  It's not worth it. Good luck to you. 

[intrigued1csc]

[quote author=MichaelSchrum link=topic=18462.msg1309103#msg1309103 date=1245337048]
I'm not sure why I'm responding to this again.

I'm out on bond. Yes I am Melissa fiancee. I spent 7 months in Porter county jail before bonding out to await sentencing. I just found this forum/post last night. Court documents state that I was only at .10 bac. Some of you may know that that is barely above the legal limit. I was crossing a dangerous intersection and did not see the car coming. The newspapers have found a way to make me sound far worse. The guilt I feel for Melissa's death can never be described. You people can't imagine what this has been like. The Qualkenbush family has been my saving grace of sorts. Her parents acknowledge the fact it was an accident. They do not blame me, not even her twin brother. It's OK if you do, because you have no affect on my life, I just don't want people talking in a negative way about Melissa. So point you anger at me and fire away. I deserve it. The people who matter are the ones I see everyday.

[/quote]

Michael - I am sure you are not some terrible person, but drinking and driving is still drinking and driving. While you didn't intend to kill Melissa... you kind of put Melissa and yourself in a harmful position, dangerous intersection or not. I think that it is wonderful that Melissa's parents know your true character enough to know you never intended to harm their daughter. Thank you for coming in here, we appreciate new perspectives, and a story through the eyes of someone involved. It definitely keeps us from guessing. Also, thank you for your honesty. Good luck in trial, please keep us abreast.

[boogieman]

Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... I just saw this thread, and My friends moms name is Melissa Quackenbush.  I freaked out for a moment  (Even though she's like... 38 :lol:)

[MichaelSchrum]

I will apologize to everyone for my first post, when I first found this it upset me a lot to here people say things like that about Melissa. Honesty is all I have left. And no trial, I am pleading guilty and hoping for the best. I have no interest in trying to fight this. I know what happened and I feel that fighting this would not honor Melissa. Her parents are giving statements on my behalf and I can only hope that I don't spend the next 20 years of my life in prison, however if I do then that is the price I pay. I have never felt that my intoxication level caused this accident. It did cause a lot of bad press, and a lot of legal issues though. I'll tell you all something though, I will NEVER, EVER drink again. See I know what happened that night, and it was just a accident. I wish everyday that I had died instead of Melissa. If I could I would gladly give my life to bring her back. She truly is amazing. She always found a way to help, and make you a better person. I am however trying to do thing to keep her memory alive. I am in the process of making a website to remember her, and raise drunk driving awareness. It should be up in the next month or so. I will post a link when its finished if anyone is interested. Anyhow I miss Melissa more then anything ever. She truly is the love of my life, and always will be.

[intrigued1csc]

[quote author=MichaelSchrum link=topic=18462.msg1310996#msg1310996 date=1245516019]
I will apologize to everyone for my first post, when I first found this it upset me a lot to here people say things like that about Melissa. Honesty is all I have left. And no trial, I am pleading guilty and hoping for the best. I have no interest in trying to fight this. I know what happened and I feel that fighting this would not honor Melissa. Her parents are giving statements on my behalf and I can only hope that I don't spend the next 20 years of my life in prison, however if I do then that is the price I pay. I have never felt that my intoxication level caused this accident. It did cause a lot of bad press, and a lot of legal issues though. I'll tell you all something though, I will NEVER, EVER drink again. See I know what happened that night, and it was just a accident. I wish everyday that I had died instead of Melissa. If I could I would gladly give my life to bring her back. She truly is amazing. She always found a way to help, and make you a better person. I am however trying to do thing to keep her memory alive. I am in the process of making a website to remember her, and raise drunk driving awareness. It should be up in the next month or so. I will post a link when its finished if anyone is interested. Anyhow I miss Melissa more then anything ever. She truly is the love of my life, and always will be.
[/quote]

Please do share the website with us! I am so glad you learned from this. Losing a loved one is a hard, hard thing to go through. I have respect for you, and the fact that you will take what you are handed. Takes a real person...

[HotKelz84]

Looks like he followed through with his word on pleading guilty. 

VALPARAISO | The mother of a 20-year-old Valparaiso woman who died in 2008 when her intoxicated fiance caused a vehicle crash asked the court Friday not to send the young man to prison.

"One life has already been destroyed through this tragedy," Sharon Qualkenbush said, referring to her daughter Melissa Qualkenbush. "We ask you try to salvage his life."

Sharon Qualkenbush said she knows 29-year-old Michael Schrum did not intend to harm her daughter and has taken responsibility for his actions.

"No prison sentence will bring our daughter back," she said.

Porter Superior Judge Bill Alexa acknowledged the unusual request by the family, but sentenced Schrum to four years in prison, saying society is also a victim in this case.

With credit for time already served and for taking part in a substance abuse program, Schrum has one year left to serve.

He will spend two years on probation upon his release, during which time he is required to regularly tell his story to others convicted of intoxicated driving offenses. He also was ordered to undergo further substance abuse counseling.

"Sad, sad situation," Alexa said.

Schrum apologized Friday for the pain he caused his fiance's family and said he will spend his life working to ease that pain.

Schrum was southbound on County Road 500 West at 9 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008, when he pulled out in front of a vehicle on Ind. 2, police said. His Pontiac Grand Am was struck in the passenger's side by the another vehicle. Melissa Qualkenbush, who was sitting in the passenger seat, died a couple of days later at Porter Valparaiso Hospital Campus.

Schrum had both alcohol and THC from marijuana use in his blood at the time of the crash and pleaded guilty to causing the fatal accident while having a prior drunken driving conviction within five years.

Deputy Prosecutor Andrew Bennett sought a six-year prison sentence, while defense attorney John Vouga asked the court to honor the request of the victim's family for no more time behind bars

http://www.nwitimes.com/news/local/porter/article_26d3d36e-7121-5e48-8152-1de7800abbc3.html

[butterflykim]

I almost felt a little sympathy for him until I read that this wasn't the first time he's been convicted of drunk driving. It's a shame he didn't learn his lesson the first time. Melissa would still be here.

RIP Melissa

[HotKelz84]

[quote author=butterflykim link=topic=18462.msg1702592#msg1702592 date=1282763367]
I almost felt a little sympathy for him until I read that this wasn't the first time he's been convicted of drunk driving. It's a shame he didn't learn his lesson the first time. Melissa would still be here.

RIP Melissa
[/quote]

I thought the same thing after reading that.  :-(

RIP Melissa, I wish things would have happened differently.

[Krystynhorn]

I will apologize to everyone for my first post, when I first found this it upset me a lot to here people say things like that about Melissa. Honesty is all I have left. And no trial, I am pleading guilty and hoping for the best. I have no interest in trying to fight this. I know what happened and I feel that fighting this would not honor Melissa. Her parents are giving statements on my behalf and I can only hope that I don't spend the next 20 years of my life in prison, however if I do then that is the price I pay. I have never felt that my intoxication level caused this accident. It did cause a lot of bad press, and a lot of legal issues though. I'll tell you all something though, I will NEVER, EVER drink again. See I know what happened that night, and it was just a accident. I wish everyday that I had died instead of Melissa. If I could I would gladly give my life to bring her back. She truly is amazing. She always found a way to help, and make you a better person. I am however trying to do thing to keep her memory alive. I am in the process of making a website to remember her, and raise drunk driving awareness. It should be up in the next month or so. I will post a link when its finished if anyone is interested. Anyhow I miss Melissa more then anything ever. She truly is the love of my life, and always will be.

I just wanted to add that I was at victim impact panel last night in the portage court house. When you opened your speech with "have you ever lost a loved one?" I could already relate. I have lost all my grandparents and my father. Your story about Melissa truly touched me and I had met her before though a mutual friend. I balled my eyes out when I left because I can only imagine the pain and guilt you have to live with everyday. Since I heard you talk about it, it's been stuck in my head. I admire your courage to tell her story and educate others about the dangers of drunk driving. It really made me think. You we're only at a .10, I was arrested at a .21. I could have killed someone, or myself. I live right by 500 and I know how dangerous that intersection is. That accident could have happened if you were sober the hills on both sides make it so dangerous. I have made huge changes in my life to stop drinking and I have taken my arrest as a blessing in disguise. I was able to realize how horrible the decisions I was making before something horrible happened. I'm so sorry for your loss, Michael. I know she is looking down on you from heaven with a smile for sharing such a difficult story with others. I hope other people have taken her story to heart like I have and made a change in their life for the better. I wish you the best of luck in your life and don't listen to those people who are negative. She loves you and obviously her family knows you did not mean to hurt her. I try to tell myself everyday that all things happen for a reason even if we do not know the divine purpose. You're doing a wonderful thing and I can only imagine how hard it is for you to share that story and relive it every time. Stay strong, you're a good person.

[bowieluva]

Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... I just saw this thread, and My friends moms name is Melissa Quackenbush.  I freaked out for a moment  (Even though she's like... 38 :lol:)

Your mother is only 38 years old?????

[Ron_NYC]

Your mother is only 38 years old?????

Wow. Hahaha.

[irishkat]

Wow! Revival of an old thread. It's a great story though and I'm glad I got to read it. I have to say that he is a bigger person than most for the way he has accepted responsibility.

[Vince Wvb]

Michael is dating my 19yr old daughter. Last night I came home as they were leaving. When I went inside I learned he had drank 12 beers and was driving home with Ashley inside. Does anyone know anything about this loser.

[Words Words]

I know that he likes to drive drunk....and he didn't follow through on his never drinking again promise if he's drinking again.

[Morbid_much]

I know he should be right back in jail at this moment because you called the cops the minute his 36 yr old drunk ass drove away with your 19 yr old daughter. Right?