Vent Here , about anything

[Nomad]

[quote author=Natasha_XO link=topic=17550.msg1112840#msg1112840 date=1228968237]
:|
[/quote]

Hey, that's the right thing to do.  It's gotta be all about the best interest of the child.

Me= no interest in being a father.  Therefore, I would be a bad father.  

Some other guy = falls in love with girl I accidentally knock up.  Wants to be father.  Therefore makes good father.  Rob signs papers willingly.

Everyone's happy.

Yes, I've thought about this because there have been scares in the past.

[deeply shaded]

berry I don't have answers but I'm so sorry. 

[Natasha_XO]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impacts crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote]
oh lord, I'm so sorry for you, your son, and that poor girl.
The best thing to do for him is to just be available as much as you can over the next few weeks.  He might not want to talk but just knowing you're around will be comforting.  I'm so sorry again. 

[wickedgirl]

[quote author=Nomad link=topic=17550.msg1112845#msg1112845 date=1228968380]
Hey, that's the right thing to do.  It's gotta be all about the best interest of the child.

Me= no interest in being a father.  Therefore, I would be a bad father.  

Some other guy = falls in love with girl I accidentally knock up.  Wants to be father.  Therefore makes good father.  Rob signs papers willingly.

Everyone's happy.

Yes, I've thought about this because there have been scares in the past.
[/quote]

Just stick with the Kryptonite condoms. Then there will be no chance you get someone pregnant or blow out someone's fallopian tubes. Better safe than sorry.

[Vegemite Kid]

I hate seeing the cunts up the road, they are always out the front, smoking and drinking, in front of and near their little kids, they also let their kids run all over the road, and they think it is funny. My next door neighbour had to slam his breaks on to avoid hitting one of the little ferals, the parents just laughed. Disgusting asshole fuckers, god bitches like that make me mad. They have kids, sit on the dole, smoke and drink my tax money fuck you FUCK YOU.

[trailerparktrash]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impact crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote]

Ugh, that's heartbreaking.

[blu]

[quote author=deeply shaded link=topic=17550.msg1112846#msg1112846 date=1228968487]
berry I don't have answers but I'm so sorry. 
[/quote]

Thanks for the hug.

[quote author=Natasha_XO link=topic=17550.msg1112847#msg1112847 date=1228968513]
oh lord, I'm so sorry for you, your son, and that poor girl.
The best thing to do for him is to just be available as much as you can over the next few weeks.  He might not want to talk but just knowing you're around will be comforting.  I'm so sorry again. 
[/quote]

Oh, he knows I am here for him.  I am sooo afraid this will make him afraid to get close to someone ever again.  You know, feel like if he "loves" he will "lose"?  I never expected to have to deal with this.  I guess no one does.

[puzzld]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112854#msg1112854 date=1228968697]
Thanks for the hug.

Oh, he knows I am here for him.  I am sooo afraid this will make him afraid to get close to someone ever again.  You know, feel like if he "loves" he will "lose"?  I never expected to have to deal with this.  I guess no one does.
[/quote]I am sorry.

[Vegemite Kid]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impact crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote]

This is just heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. Give him some time, it has just happened, he may take a while to talk about it, if he doesn't, maybe he could try some counselling.

[blu]

[quote author=Vegemite Kid link=topic=17550.msg1112865#msg1112865 date=1228969109]
This is just heartbreaking, I'm so sorry. Give him some time, it has just happened, he may take a while to talk about it, if he doesn't, maybe he could try some counselling.
[/quote]

Yeah..I hope he will talk to someone soon.  If not, I may look into some counseling for him.  This just isnt suppose to happen.  Ya know?

[sogs]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112854#msg1112854 date=1228968697]
Thanks for the hug.

Oh, he knows I am here for him.  I am sooo afraid this will make him afraid to get close to someone ever again.  You know, feel like if he "loves" he will "lose"?  I never expected to have to deal with this.  I guess no one does.
[/quote]

Counseling...

[Vegemite Kid]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112869#msg1112869 date=1228969340]
Yeah..I hope he will talk to someone soon.  If not, I may look into some counseling for him.  This just isnt suppose to happen.  Ya know?
[/quote]

I know, bad things happen to good people. He is lucky to have you for support

Gosh, this is so sad.

[HippyZippy]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impact crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote]

First I'm so sorry about this, life has a way of taking the air out of our lungs some times.

 When I was 17 my best friend died (16) less than 30 minutes after he left to go home on his bike. I was in shock, when I found out I called his house phone and asked for him, it didn't set in till I went to school that following monday and he wasn't there, he wasn't sitting at our lunch table, he wasn't in 4th period. It hit me really hard.

Just give him plenty of love, this will never make up for the pain he is going through. and time is the only treatment that actually makes the biggest difference when going through so much pain. Trust me I know. It's a sad time for him, and it will be for months if not years to come. It took me 4 years to finally get over my friends passing. I wish there was an easy way to make the saddness stop and the pain to stop numbing him. Only real thing that helps is love/support and time. I'm so sorry blu, I don't know if this helps you... All I can say is I have experienced something close to this, and I was so young too.

 

[blu]

[quote author=Vegemite Kid link=topic=17550.msg1112890#msg1112890 date=1228970040]
I know, bad things happen to good people. He is lucky to have you for support

Gosh, this is so sad.
[/quote]

Thank you.
[quote author=HippyZippy link=topic=17550.msg1112895#msg1112895 date=1228970111]
First I'm so sorry about this, life has a way of taking the air out of our lungs some times.

 When I was 17 my best friend died (16) less than 30 minutes after he left to go home on his bike. I was in shock, when I found out I called his house phone and asked for him, it didn't set in till I went to school that following monday and he wasn't there, he wasn't sitting at our lunch table, he wasn't in 4th period. It hit me really hard.

Just give him plenty of love, this will never make up for the pain he is going through. and time is the only treatment that actually makes the biggest difference when going through so much pain. Trust me I know. It's a sad time for him, and it will be for months if not years to come. It took me 4 years to finally get over my friends passing. I wish there was an easy way to make the saddness stop and the pain to stop numbing him. Only real thing that helps is love/support and time. I'm so sorry blu, I don't know if this helps you... All I can say is I have experienced something close to this, and I was so young too.

 
[/quote]

Thank you, Hippy.  Somehow your words do help.  Did you have trouble getting close to people after that?  My husband lost a lot of people really close to him when he was 12 (father, grandfather and uncle).  He had a hard time letting himself love people for a long time because he was afraid they would just die.

[HippyZippy]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112905#msg1112905 date=1228970419]
Thank you, Hippy.  Somehow your words do help.  Did you have trouble getting close to people after that?  My husband lost a lot of people really close to him when he was 12 (father, grandfather and uncle).  He had a hard time letting himself love people for a long time because he was afraid they would just die.
[/quote]

No problem, I glad they did.

I had a really hard time, not to take any spot light over the situation we are discussing. But I lost 5 other close friends within 6 months of my best friend passing. I to felt like everyone around me was dying. And It was hard to even commit to anyone new. I still to this day only have 5 really close friends, all of which knew Paul (my best friend who passed away) and knew how hard it was for me. I have not made any new friends since then. Now my friends family is a different story. But as for the last 6 years I have not made any attempt to commit to a friendship, but it's not because of the fear of them passing anymore. It's more the fact I have put up a wall. I don't want to get hurt, I have had enough pain in my short life to deal with drama or backstabbing to give someone new a chance to inflict any type of pain on me.

Everyone is different, no amount of pain or hurt can be measured or compared to another person. Everyone will deal with it or try and get over it in their own way. For instance, Pauls brother (he is a piece of crap, *sorry paul*) Before he died he was a pot slinging wanna be big shot *hardcore yo* at least trying to be. After his brother died, he changed for 2 months then went right back to his own ways. Never fully learned for precious life really is even when the one closest to you is taken from you. I found out real fast that life is here, life is what you make of it. No time to bullshit or be someone you're not. I matured so much that first year. I never got into any of the stages most older teens end up doing. Never went to parties, never went out of my way to be stupid.

Love and support helped me open back up to my own family. Show love and support, but don't over do it. He will talk to you, and I'm sure you know being a parent that listening right now is the #1 thing he needs above anything else. By listening will help mend his heart. Don't be surprised if he starts balling tomorrow or a couple of days from now. Just hold him as if it's the last time you will ever get a chance to hold him again. He will know.

Typing this all out is starting to impact me a little, my eyes are even getting watery. I pray for you and your son. Everything happens for a reason, but don't tell him that yet. He wont accept it. I sure as hell wouldn't. I even blamed god for what happened. but time and maturing made me realize that it was Pauls time to go. and no matter what I would have do or I should have said wouldn't change any of that. He is with god, and he is smiling down on me every time I think of him.

[Gr8Fantasies]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112905#msg1112905 date=1228970419]
Thank you.
Thank you, Hippy.  Somehow your words do help.  Did you have trouble getting close to people after that?  My husband lost a lot of people really close to him when he was 12 (father, grandfather and uncle).  He had a hard time letting himself love people for a long time because he was afraid they would just die.
[/quote]
Such a sad thing to experience at such a young age.

Speaking for myself and my experiences...I used to feel like I was cursed.
I have had 3 really close friends die...the first one was my childhood friend, Christina.  She tried to save a kitten out of the middle of a county road and a van hit her.  This was shortly after we graduated from High School.
For the longest time I did not allow myself to get close to anyone.
Then Michelle...When I met Michelle she had already battled breast cancer.  We got really close quick and had a lot in common.  Not long after, she was diagnosed with bone cancer that then spread to her brain.  She past away this last May.
Frannie just past away in Aug.  She was out with some friends one night, tried to drive home drunk and rear-ended a vehicle stopped at a light.

Seems like everytime I allow myself to get close to someone and care....They die.

When my husband died in 2001...I could not imagine being in another relationship.
2 years later, I chose to share my life with a man and his 3 kids.  I finally felt happy again for the first time in a long time.  In Dec of 2004, he was in a motorcycle accident and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury.  My happy little world came crashing down around me {again}. 

For a bit...I completely shut down and wouldn't let anyone get close to me.  I felt like my caring for / loving someone would cause their demise.

Then one day, I woke up and realized that I couldn't continue living the way I was living and that what happened to them wasn't because of me!

Memories are what keep me going some days.
I was designed to love and to be loved.

I've learned to live in the here and now....enjoy today!

Now I'm gettng a bit emotional!


Your son will have his moments for a long time to come...
he's at a tough age.  Now, trying to deal with these emotions he shouldn't have to be dealing with!

He knows you are there when he needs you 






***Now I feel like I'm rambling...and I apologize***

[Ron_NYC]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impact crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote]
You're his mom, and most [s]kids[/s] guys that age don't want you to treat them like a baby when they're trying to be a man. If he wants you, he'll come to you, but don't smother him like he lost a kindergarten classmate. 

I'm sure everyone else will say I'm wrong and you should smother him, but I figured I'd give it a shot. :-P



[quote author=Vegemite Kid link=topic=17550.msg1112850#msg1112850 date=1228968578]
I hate seeing the cunts up the road, they are always out the front, smoking and drinking, in front of and near their little kids, they also let their kids run all over the road, and they think it is funny. My next door neighbour had to slam his breaks on to avoid hitting one of the little ferals, the parents just laughed. Disgusting asshole fuckers, god bitches like that make me mad. They have kids, sit on the dole, smoke and drink my tax money fuck you FUCK YOU.
[/quote]

You are such an old person.

[sogs]

[quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=17550.msg1113008#msg1113008 date=1228975238]
You're his mom, and most [s]kids[/s] guys that age don't want you to treat them like a baby when they're trying to be a man. If he wants you, he'll come to you, but don't smother him like he lost a kindergarten classmate. 

I'm sure everyone else will say I'm wrong and you should smother him, but I figured I'd give it a shot. :-P



You are such an old person.
[/quote]

I agree Ron.

[Resident_Queer]

When my nephew was 4 or 5 he lost his godfather,1 month later his father, and 2 months later his grandfather. For along time after that if you said someone went away he assumed they died. I know theres a huge age difference but give him time. Years later it still has its effects but he has learned to cope.


    im so sorry for the entire situation

[Alphafemale]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=17550.msg1112843#msg1112843 date=1228968328]
Venting..

I am so fucking angry!  My son's girlfriend was in a car accident yesterday morning.  She lost control, overcorrected and ended up sideways in the other lane.  An older model conversion van slammed into her passenger side.  The impact crushed the passenger side into her.  He right side is completely crushed and she has swelling and bleeding on the brain.  She is on life support with no brain activity.  This evening they turned off the machine and did a reflex test.  No response.  They are going to try again at 7am in the morning.  They will not be turning the life support back on.  UGH UGH!  She is 16 fucking years old.  Just turned 16 in August.  My son is in total shock and keep saying over and over " I was just talking to her at midnight the night before."  He is almost 18 and a macho boy.  He doesnt want anyone to see him cry but his eyes are swollen and red so I can tell he has been crying.  What do I do?  I dont want for him to keep things bottled up!  She is dead and he realizes this.  How do I help him cope with this? HELP!!
[/quote] oh my lord, i am soooo sorry. You are all in my prayers.  :kiss3:

[Karalicious]

[quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=17550.msg1112032#msg1112032 date=1228928004]
Low cost? Is $66 a month low cost? I say it's not.
[/quote] youre doing it wrong. When I didn't have insurance and I went in college, it was 5 bucks a month.

[Ron_NYC]

[quote author=Karalicious link=topic=17550.msg1113235#msg1113235 date=1229007275]
youre doing it wrong. When I didn't have insurance and I went in college, it was 5 bucks a month.
[/quote]
Could someone explain this to me please? kthxbai.

[LetzRyde]

wheres TPT?  and Soggy?  and D_S?  and Nestle?  and Femme?  and Resident?  and OTDS?  And Teifl?

[Ron_NYC]

[quote author=LetzRyde link=topic=17550.msg1113259#msg1113259 date=1229010622]
wheres TPT?  and Soggy?  and D_S?  and Nestle?   and Femme?  and Resident?  and OTDS?   And Teifl?


[/quote]
Lesbian thread?

[LetzRyde]

[quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=17550.msg1113264#msg1113264 date=1229010950]
Lesbian thread?
[/quote]

No!  I was there.  They aren't here man!  Fuck it, I go bye...bye.  me come back lata.  peace out cub scout.