James "Jameson" Marder had a hard look to him.

Half his face was covered in tattoos and his nose was adorned with piercings. The ink continued down his neck and body, a palette of shapes and writing. His personality and voice were loud, too. But the man inside that colorfully adorned body was a loving and sensitive musician and chef, someone who his friends say would do anything for those close to him.

"Once you get through that, honestly, you don't even see the tattoos," said Ashley Fletcher, of Hyannis, who dated Marder. "His soul just shines so bright. A huge heart — the biggest."

Marder, 29, struggled for years with anxiety and depression, Fletcher said. On Wednesday morning, he took his own life, hanging himself in a video broadcast on Facebook Live, his friend of five years, Lydia Simons, said in a message.

"I guess he got tired of dealing with his feelings and old thoughts on situations. I'm sure he's happy now," wrote Simons, who lived with Marder in Jacksonville, Florida, before he moved to Mashpee last year. "If you knew him really well, on the inside, he was an absolute hopeless romantic and so sweet. He was there for anyone who needed it."

Posts by Marder on his Facebook page suggest he had been public with his emotional struggles for years. While on the Cape, Marder wrote several posts about his difficulty making friends in Massachusetts.

Police responded to an address in Mashpee at around 6:40 a.m. Wednesday after receiving multiple reports of something "disturbing" on social media, according to Cape and Islands District Attorney Michael O'Keefe. Simons was among those who saw the act play out on live video, she said.

The suicide remains under investigation by Mashpee police and state police assigned to the district attorney's office. O'Keefe said his office does not comment on suicides as a matter of policy and has not released the identity of the person who died.

Marder moved in with relatives in Mashpee last year, which Simons said was a way to get away from Florida. He loved music — particularly punk, metal and hardcore — and was always ready to share it with friends. He had been in several bands as a vocalist and guitar player, Fletcher said.



"He absolutely loved punk rock music, anything punk-related," Simons wrote.

On the Cape, he worked as a chef at C Salt Wine Bar & Grille, Chapoquoit Grill and the Ninety Nine Restaurant & Pub. He loved food and was a good cook, Fletcher said.

Fletcher and Marder dated for several months before breaking up earlier this year. The pair remained close until his death, she said.

Simons will host a gathering for Marder's friends in Jacksonville on Thursday, with plans for them to listen to music and reminisce about old times.

"I chose the pier because a few years ago Jameson had a bad night and left my house upset, talking about all these bad things he wanted to do to himself. I walked 2½ hours to the pier from my house with him, and at the end of it he wasn't mad at himself anymore," Simons wrote.

Another friend will hold a gathering Saturday night in Tampa, Florida. And a GoFundMe page set up by Marder's brother has raised more than $2,000, which will go toward Marder's funeral and to cover the expense of his brother and mother getting to Massachusetts.

Anyone in distress or in need of suicide prevention resources may call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or the Samaritans on Cape Cod and the Islands at 508-548-8900 or 800-893-9900.