On Friday, November 2nd, my friend Michael Gangas committed suicide in his backyard. I can't even begin to tell you how upset and shocked I am by this. I always used to see him at shows with that big silly grin on his face, not knowing where he was or who he was talking to because of how drunk he was. I used to talk to him online all the time, and he used to tell me about how upset he was or how he was afraid he wasn't going to get into college. I always knew he was upset but then he would start talking about his new band and would ask me what I thought of it, and what he should do to make it better.

I will always remember the time that he got so drunk he let people at the show shave his head however they wanted. He walked around with stickers around his awfully shaved head, forgetting everyones name. I'll always remember the time where John and Mike came to Wendy's and I was working. He always had the biggest smile on his face. Whether he was upset or not, he always tried to make everyone else around him happy.

When AB called me on Wednesday to tell me that her, Mike and Randy wanted to come visit me soon, I was so happy. I hadn't seen Mike in so long, and I couldn't wait to hang out with him and see that silly grin of his. I never will again and I just wish I could.

I hate that he is still logged on to AIM. It's like he is still here and I just want to get an IM from him telling me about his new band or a song he wrote. I just want him to IM me and tell me he's still here and that he's drunk. I wish I had kept in touch with him, and I wish I could have talked to him one last time.

I can't believe that this has even happened. I'm still in shock from it all. Everyone in Connecticut is. I'm driving down to the wake on Tuesday with Randy and AB. I need to see my friends and I need to hug them and just know that they are okay.

He was too young. He was only 18. I can't even begin to imagine what was going through his head. I wish someone could have gotten through to him. To tell him that we're all here for him, and that we all care about him. The only song I can listen to is Sonny by New Found Glory. I can't even take this.

We're putting on a two day show in his honor. All of the money is going to his parents. I wish he could be here. I wish he could see how much we all care about him and miss him.

Mike, I will miss you until the day that I join you. Wherever you are, I hope you are in a better place. We love you, Mike. Don't ever think twice about that.