Is it really that hard to get a kid? I hear about shitty foster parents all the time. I think only the adoption process is difficult, but getting a foster is simple. I may be wrong, I don't know much about it. There are a heap of kids that need help though. Maybe if someone can't have kids, their "God" is trying to tell them something. Maybe.
But anyone anti-abortion that doesn;'t have an adopted child needs to STFU/
It's a sensitive topic for a lot of people, but you never know who these people are. It's not like you were trying to offend.
I think it is that hard, to get a child. Especially one of you own, and for people that want one of their own, adoption or fostering won't work. Or it isn't the same as your own child, and I have to accept that.
I don't know much about adoption (especially since I'm in Canada and our laws are pretty different from the US) or fostering, but from what I do know - it's not that easy and there are lots of hoops you have to jump thorough, which can add insult to injury for some people who have suffered with infertility for years.
I was lucky enough to have children but have many friends who have not been so, and it really does rub me the wrong way when I hear of people treating their own flesh and blood like garbage.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
I don't get it. What is the appeal of having "one of your own?" Simple fear of mortality? Narcissism to the extent that you want something reminiscent of yourself? A desire to share health defects? Fear of unknown genetic traits? Inability to bond with something someone else created? God complex need to "create?" Instinctual need to utilize available functionality? Residual caveman mindset that your own genes are in all ways superior and must eliminate all others? To instill a sense of obligation in preparation of aging beyond self-reliance?
I DO realize how condescending that sounds, but really, I don't get it. I don't get the appeal of getting stuck with someone else's either, but why is one so goddamn preferable to the other? Is it ALL instinct?
Sorry. I don't have the answer for you on that one. I just know in talking to people about infertility, some say they'd be happy with any child. Others would rather have no child if it was not their own. *shrug* Not for me to judge or understand, but I have to accept that they feel that way regardless.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
i think its instinctual, a biological thing. the desire to be pregnant, experience the pregnancy and giving birth, and then raising that child. at least it is for me. i didn't have that urge, that weird pull to do all of this until i fell in love and got married. wanting that connection with my husband, and with a child that we'd bring into this world is something i can't easily explain. but it kills me that month after month, year after year, it doesn't happen for me. :/
* wow you truly are the sterial cunt here are yo not.I fuckin hate you cunt* - LoonywopOriginally Posted by Ron_NYC
★ take the sig down ★ - Loonywop
i'd take any child. but i'm on the autism spectrum...the chance of them giving me a kid is pretty slim. :( i do have to say, like i said before, the biological pull to have my own kid is very strong. i don't even totally understand it. its weird. lol.
thanks for understanding some people don't get it, and i don't fault them for that. we're not all built the same way, you know?
* wow you truly are the sterial cunt here are yo not.I fuckin hate you cunt* - LoonywopOriginally Posted by Ron_NYC
★ take the sig down ★ - Loonywop
* wow you truly are the sterial cunt here are yo not.I fuckin hate you cunt* - LoonywopOriginally Posted by Ron_NYC
★ take the sig down ★ - Loonywop
sorry, lovie. Keep an open mind and heart, and enjoy the tryin
Thanks for the thoughtful response. The desire to be pregnant and birth a thing befuddles me more than the desire to be a parent. Boinking should be bonding. Being a parent team should be bonding. Why do you have to have your boinking lead to said child to bond? You feel like you're missing a connection as a result? I don't mean to sound harsh, but isn't that kind of sad? I totally respect your feelings even if I don't understand them, so please don't take that wrong.
I must say - I'm with you in the sense that I wanted my own child from the beginning, with my partner (no husband). I was one who didn't have to look at the options of adoption or foster though, and I can't say I'd have never wanted a child that held no biological connection. I just never had to wear those shoes. But I was so emotionally invested in helping those that couldn't have children of their own (due to different reasons) I looked into surrogacy. I'm glad I did, I'm glad I was able to help a family.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain
That's awesome! I wish I could rep you again. I have a blended family, with 5 kids. Over the past 12 years, most people haven't been able to tell which are biologically mine. I love them all. I can say though, I would love to have had a child with my husband. I am very happy with the 5 we have.
"When it comes time to die, let us not discover that we have never lived." ~ Henry David Thoreau
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. ~ Confucius
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