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Thread: Ever tried suicide?

  1. #201
    Senior Member blighted star's Avatar
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    I know you said you wouldn't really, but if this shit's in your head this often, you really DO need to act on it. A lot of us have been there &/or lost one or more people we were close to.

    Trust us when we tell you to get yourself to a professional - as in yesterday. REALLY.
    Last edited by blighted star; 05-24-2015 at 11:11 PM.

  2. #202
    Member AmandaGunn's Avatar
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    Nope. Only in play. I do think about how it would be like, but I don't really want to die.

  3. #203
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    Yes. Cut my neck, wrist, tried od....

  4. #204
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfman73 View Post
    Yes. Cut my neck, wrist, tried od....
    Well, happy you're still around.
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  5. #205
    Administrator mydeathspace's Avatar
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    Cutting your own neck is hardcore. Superficial cuts or deep?

  6. #206
    Junior Member Torious's Avatar
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    I'm saddened to see there is such a thread as this, but happy to see people have come out of those bad times for the better.

    I lost my friend to suicide ...a long time ago now... for years after that I always found it to be so selfish and could never understand how someone could bring themselves to such a thing.
    However, the last two years I've been suffering clinical depression. I mean, I thought I'd been depressed before, but boy was I wrong! This was something entirely different. I now know what horrible places people can find themselves in. Personally, I never could do it (I don't think) but I have certainly been in that low a place that I said to myself "whoa, I could really just leave right now...and it would be so easy."
    If I ever hear of someone committing suicide now, I often have a little cry. They were obviously so lost, with no hope left.
    Ahh, I don't know. There is ALWAYS a way to carry on. I hope everyone here has come out the other end and has found or is finding that positivity in life. It is there, somewhere!

  7. #207
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    When I was 13 I took 500 aspirin and had to have my stomach pumped and was kept in observation for 5 days. When I was 17 I ran a garden hose from my exhaust into my car. I passed out for about 10 minutes when I woke up I had a raging headache and said "fuck it" and went home. When I was 19 I jumped 80ft into the water off the Rt 50 bridge in the middle of the night, walked right down the side of the highway in traffic and lept over the edge. I tore the ass of my pants open and got really bruised up, swam to shore walked back to my car only to find it had been towed and no one reported anyone jumping off the bridge... I've never spoken of those two events to anyone.


    I'm better now... really.

  8. #208
    NOT SAME CAT Fleta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    When I was 13 I took 500 aspirin and had to have my stomach pumped and was kept in observation for 5 days. When I was 17 I ran a garden hose from my exhaust into my car. I passed out for about 10 minutes when I woke up I had a raging headache and said "fuck it" and went home. When I was 19 I jumped 80ft into the water off the Rt 50 bridge in the middle of the night, walked right down the side of the highway in traffic and lept over the edge. I tore the ass of my pants open and got really bruised up, swam to shore walked back to my car only to find it had been towed and no one reported anyone jumping off the bridge... I've never spoken of those two events to

    I'm better now... really.
    There's quite a gap between deciding to do it, and actually doing it... and coming out the other side. You are braver than most.

    Really, that's badass. Getting through is badass, but getting through the other sister, even more badass.

  9. #209
    Junior Member Solitarypink's Avatar
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    When I was 21, I drove into the desert and overdosed on OTC sleeping pills, when I awoke from a coma 3 days later, I could not speak or control my limbs. I spent 2 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility to learn to walk again, and another 6 months in outpatient rehab learning how to speak again.

    When I was 27, I threw away everything I owned and slit my throat with a box cutter. When my mom called to see why I never showed up for work, I told her to come get me because I needed to get to a hospital. It took 48 stitches to close the wound and they sent me to the mental ward. They kept me for two weeks and released me. Three months later I was admitted again for an overdose and was on life support. When I finally came to, I was sent right back to the mental ward for another month.

    I have since tried to hang myself, slit my wrists, fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head at the bottom trying to escape impending hospitalization, tried to jump off the second highest bridge in new York state but was caught by the police and sent to another hospital where I spent 6 weeks, had ECT. That's the ones I can remember. I always fail because by the time I am in despair enough to make another attempt, I am usually dissociating or hallucinating so badly that I always fuck it up.

  10. #210
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solitarypink View Post
    When I was 21, I drove into the desert and overdosed on OTC sleeping pills, when I awoke from a coma 3 days later, I could not speak or control my limbs. I spent 2 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility to learn to walk again, and another 6 months in outpatient rehab learning how to speak again.

    When I was 27, I threw away everything I owned and slit my throat with a box cutter. When my mom called to see why I never showed up for work, I told her to come get me because I needed to get to a hospital. It took 48 stitches to close the wound and they sent me to the mental ward. They kept me for two weeks and released me. Three months later I was admitted again for an overdose and was on life support. When I finally came to, I was sent right back to the mental ward for another month.

    I have since tried to hang myself, slit my wrists, fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head at the bottom trying to escape impending hospitalization, tried to jump off the second highest bridge in new York state but was caught by the police and sent to another hospital where I spent 6 weeks, had ECT. That's the ones I can remember. I always fail because by the time I am in despair enough to make another attempt, I am usually dissociating or hallucinating so badly that I always fuck it up.
    Wow. Okay, so are you working with anyone to get to the root of why you keep trying to die? Treatments of any kind? Because your post made me seriously sad to read.
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  11. #211
    Senior Member Bewitchingstorm's Avatar
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    I agree, that is very sad and I hope you are receiving therapy.

  12. #212
    Junior Member Solitarypink's Avatar
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    The root is my father trying to drown me in the bathtub when I was three. I have been in treatment ever since my first attempt. Nothing has helped and things continue to get worse as time goes by. That's why I'm saying that everyone should have the right to end their lives if they truly are in misery with no hope of recovery.

  13. #213
    Senior Member puke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solitarypink View Post
    When I was 21, I drove into the desert and overdosed on OTC sleeping pills, when I awoke from a coma 3 days later, I could not speak or control my limbs. I spent 2 weeks in an inpatient rehab facility to learn to walk again, and another 6 months in outpatient rehab learning how to speak again.

    When I was 27, I threw away everything I owned and slit my throat with a box cutter. When my mom called to see why I never showed up for work, I told her to come get me because I needed to get to a hospital. It took 48 stitches to close the wound and they sent me to the mental ward. They kept me for two weeks and released me. Three months later I was admitted again for an overdose and was on life support. When I finally came to, I was sent right back to the mental ward for another month.

    I have since tried to hang myself, slit my wrists, fell down a flight of stairs and hit my head at the bottom trying to escape impending hospitalization, tried to jump off the second highest bridge in new York state but was caught by the police and sent to another hospital where I spent 6 weeks, had ECT. That's the ones I can remember. I always fail because by the time I am in despair enough to make another attempt, I am usually dissociating or hallucinating so badly that I always fuck it up.
    That's the most horrible story i've ever heard. Stop trying to kill yourself.
    Gooble goble gooble goble one of us one of us.

  14. #214
    Senior Member wondery's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Solitarypink View Post
    The root is my father trying to drown me in the bathtub when I was three. I have been in treatment ever since my first attempt. Nothing has helped and things continue to get worse as time goes by. That's why I'm saying that everyone should have the right to end their lives if they truly are in misery with no hope of recovery.
    Ok, Solitarypink - I'm thinking about you and see you haven't posted recently. Are you ok?

    I do not know what to say other than please, please, please stop trying to kill yourself. That's the only prevention method I know - to ask you how you are. Life can be better. I swear it can.

  15. #215
    Senior Member daisylane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wondery View Post
    Ok, Solitarypink - I'm thinking about you and see you haven't posted recently. Are you ok?

    I do not know what to say other than please, please, please stop trying to kill yourself. That's the only prevention method I know - to ask you how you are. Life can be better. I swear it can.
    Naw, Wondery you're lovely.

    That's a thought - have we checked on those who have posted in here and kind of disappeared?
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    DONT MAKE ME FUCK YOUR BITCH THAT PUSSY POPPIN

  16. #216
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    Amen ....busybodies!!

  17. #217
    Senior Member Meshuga's Avatar
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    Not recently, but my husband has had the longest terminal illness in history. Seriously, the longest. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer two years ago and every treatment works. I should be happy, but it spirals me into the abyss because he is mean, lazy and shows me absolutely no affection or appreciation. Plus, I am the primary income, so I get overwhelmed with working full time, not earning enough money, being responsible for absolutely every tiny thing, having health issues and not being the least bit appreciated. I don't actively want to commit suicide, because I want my kids to get my insurance money, but I routinely over-inject insulin at night in hopes I just won't wake up.

  18. #218
    Save Bandit! Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meshuga View Post
    Not recently, but my husband has had the longest terminal illness in history. Seriously, the longest. He was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer two years ago and every treatment works. I should be happy, but it spirals me into the abyss because he is mean, lazy and shows me absolutely no affection or appreciation. Plus, I am the primary income, so I get overwhelmed with working full time, not earning enough money, being responsible for absolutely every tiny thing, having health issues and not being the least bit appreciated. I don't actively want to commit suicide, because I want my kids to get my insurance money, but I routinely over-inject insulin at night in hopes I just won't wake up.
    Oh Hun, I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but I really feel for ya. That's a lot of pressure on you.

    I have PPD and it's been really hard, I can relate to the not wanting to wake up thing.

    If you want to PM me, you are more than welcome to.

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

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  19. #219
    Junior Member TankHill's Avatar
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    I see nobody has posted in this thread in almost exactly two years, which I hope is a good sign. But for those of you that have posted here before, how are you doing now? I hope everyone is doing well and therefore just not posting.
    I'll share my story at some point, but am still a newby to MDS and want to get more familiar with it.
    Thank you all for sharing your stories. Love and light to all of you.

  20. #220
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TankHill View Post
    I see nobody has posted in this thread in almost exactly two years, which I hope is a good sign. But for those of you that have posted here before, how are you doing now? I hope everyone is doing well and therefore just not posting.
    I'll share my story at some point, but am still a newby to MDS and want to get more familiar with it.
    Thank you all for sharing your stories. Love and light to all of you.
    Welcome to MDS

    I'm still around. I haven't attempted to end things at all over the years, but I can't say that I don't think about it at times. I'm not in a position to afford professional help, so I'm going it alone. Not really alone, I mean people on here help because I can vent about things and get advice. I've begun taking St. John's Wart and that seems to be helping a little, however it feels like I'm using a teaspoon to bail out a sinking boat. Overall I'm doing okay though. I'm still around.

    When or if you're ever ready to share, we'll be here
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  21. #221
    Junior Member TankHill's Avatar
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    Thank you for the warm welcome, Boston Babe 73! :-)

    Glad to hear you are managing and doing what you can do. I'm happy to help gather more teaspoons, no matter what it takes.

    I've not tried St. John's Wart, but will certainly look into it.

  22. #222
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    I hanged myself on February 8, 2014. At the time, I was an 18 year old living in an apartment with my then-partner. I had (and still have) PTSD from being beaten by my older brother and being molested by my stepfather. Honestly, I was going crazy; my sleep was very fragmented because I would have nightmares of being violated in my bed or being beaten and not being able to fight back because, well, it's a dream. I was trying to balance my mental health, school, work, and my new home.

    On that day, I logged into see how I did on my midterm. I got a C-. It was such a small problem. I could have talked to my professor about my struggles and retaken the test. I could have gone to my therapist and told her that my symptoms were interfering with my schoolwork. Instead, I convinced myself that I was weak and a mediocre grade meant that I was worthless. My partner was home for the weekend and I excused myself to the bedroom to decompress. Instead, I made a noose out of a belt, threw it over the door, and shut it. Grabbed an ottoman to stand on, slipped my head through the belt and kicked the ottoman out from under me.

    I suffocated for what felt like a very long time. The pressure on my neck was incredibly painful. The feeling of needing to breathe but not being able to was surreal and frightening. It feels like your face is about to pop out. Then I fell to the ground and I could breathe again. My partner had heard the door frame crack when I kicked the ottoman out from under me. My body weight pulling down those few inches damaged it and made a noise. He forced the door open and it freed me. I had only been hanging for 10 to 15 seconds, but it felt like several minutes to me.

    If anyone is reading this, do NOT ATTEMPT SUICIDE. GET MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT. It is very likely that there are a million other solutions for you. I regret it immensely. My attempt scarred my partner for life and he had to receive mental health treatment because of the choice I made. My parents were furious at me. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days because of my injuries (bruised almost every part of my body hanging and then falling) and then I was put on an involuntary psychiatric hold for another 72 hours. It was unhelpful and cost me thousands. But worst of all, my PTSD actually got worse before it got better because my suicide attempt traumatized me further!

    It's been 6 years and I'm doing a lot better. Still have PTSD but medication and therapy have reduced my nightmares and panic attacks to manageable levels. My partner and I have been happily married for 4 years now. I went back to school in 2015 and I graduated 2.5 years later. That led me to a great job that is allowing me to work from home during this COVID crisis. I am so glad I didn't die that day.

    tldr: don't kill yourself. it's not worth it.

  23. #223
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Country Mac View Post
    I hanged myself on February 8, 2014. At the time, I was an 18 year old living in an apartment with my then-partner. I had (and still have) PTSD from being beaten by my older brother and being molested by my stepfather. Honestly, I was going crazy; my sleep was very fragmented because I would have nightmares of being violated in my bed or being beaten and not being able to fight back because, well, it's a dream. I was trying to balance my mental health, school, work, and my new home.

    On that day, I logged into see how I did on my midterm. I got a C-. It was such a small problem. I could have talked to my professor about my struggles and retaken the test. I could have gone to my therapist and told her that my symptoms were interfering with my schoolwork. Instead, I convinced myself that I was weak and a mediocre grade meant that I was worthless. My partner was home for the weekend and I excused myself to the bedroom to decompress. Instead, I made a noose out of a belt, threw it over the door, and shut it. Grabbed an ottoman to stand on, slipped my head through the belt and kicked the ottoman out from under me.

    I suffocated for what felt like a very long time. The pressure on my neck was incredibly painful. The feeling of needing to breathe but not being able to was surreal and frightening. It feels like your face is about to pop out. Then I fell to the ground and I could breathe again. My partner had heard the door frame crack when I kicked the ottoman out from under me. My body weight pulling down those few inches damaged it and made a noise. He forced the door open and it freed me. I had only been hanging for 10 to 15 seconds, but it felt like several minutes to me.

    If anyone is reading this, do NOT ATTEMPT SUICIDE. GET MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT. It is very likely that there are a million other solutions for you. I regret it immensely. My attempt scarred my partner for life and he had to receive mental health treatment because of the choice I made. My parents were furious at me. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days because of my injuries (bruised almost every part of my body hanging and then falling) and then I was put on an involuntary psychiatric hold for another 72 hours. It was unhelpful and cost me thousands. But worst of all, my PTSD actually got worse before it got better because my suicide attempt traumatized me further!

    It's been 6 years and I'm doing a lot better. Still have PTSD but medication and therapy have reduced my nightmares and panic attacks to manageable levels. My partner and I have been happily married for 4 years now. I went back to school in 2015 and I graduated 2.5 years later. That led me to a great job that is allowing me to work from home during this COVID crisis. I am so glad I didn't die that day.

    tldr: don't kill yourself. it's not worth it.
    Thank you for sharing and being open. I'm glad that you're still around
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  24. #224
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    Thank you for sharing and being open. I'm glad that you're still around
    Thank you. I'm happy to be here too ❤

  25. #225
    Senior Member Nic B's Avatar
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    Country: that sounds terrifying! I am also glad you're still here, and hope your story can help someone else.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??

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