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Thread: Ever tried suicide?

  1. #51

    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=mydeathspace link=topic=14851.msg923346#msg923346 date=1215586806]
    That is hilarious!  :lol:

    But here are a few answers I like:

    Lousy Rivets

    Iceberg

    The Irish (builders of the Titanic)
    [/quote]

    Lol, those pesky irishmen...

    I think my favorite out there theory is that the ship was cursed because a shipbuilder was sealed inside the hull (still alive) due to it's hasty construction and, of course, died a horrible death and cursed the ship, leading to it's demise. (The theory that it was swapped with the Olympic runs a close second, though).

    But yeah. I think 'iceberg', 'bad metal' and 'lack of lifeboats' sums it up nicely.

  2. #52
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Kyniska link=topic=14851.msg923354#msg923354 date=1215587341]
    Lol, those pesky irishmen...

    I think my favorite out there theory is that the ship was cursed because a shipbuilder was sealed inside the hull (still alive) due to it's hasty construction and, of course, died a horrible death and cursed the ship, leading to it's demise. (The theory that it was swapped with the Olympic runs a close second, though).

    But yeah. I think 'iceberg', 'bad metal' and 'lack of lifeboats' sums it up nicely.
    [/quote]

    When my husband and I were in Belfast, we talked out cabbie into taking us to the shipyards where the Titanic was built.  It's a huge sore spot with Belfast and the shipyard so there is nothing to commemorate it and no one wants to talk about it.

  3. #53
    Senior Member Feetprints's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    When I was in the hospital, one of the therapists asked of people who were religious "Is your God a kind, loving God? Or is he a vengeful God?" and tried to talk to them about how they had enough problems without God hating them because they were sinners on top of their mental health issues. I completely agreed with her.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    SMH. White people! Always trying to help and shit.

  4. #54
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=AstridAsteroid link=topic=14851.msg922649#msg922649 date=1215562127]
    *ahem* Why don't you go to church? Like, in all seriousness.... life can't be that hard-- it's what you make it. And I'm not going to lie. I am quite disturbed by your profile. You should do a 180 and find God and stop killing people... if that's, indeed, what you do.

    But seriously, dude... get help. Meds and psychs aren't all that bad.... I know it's hard sometimes, believe me, cos I'm bipolar(nos), hypomanic and borderline and I have seriously thought about placing myself and a hair dryer in a full bathtub, but... I'm always too chicken. Anyway, just hang in there dude... I'm sure you have a shitton of stuff to live for but you don't even realise it. And, if it makes you feel any better, Pisces are known for being abusers and users of substances, pretty hardcore... (just noticed you were a Pisces on your myspace... I figured you were a Virgo like me cos we're the ones who wanna kill ourselves cos our overactive minds).... but... IDK. Sorry if any of this offended you but come on... if you're gonna kill yourself... wait an hour... then wait another hour.... and another... it'll pass. Please be safe!!!!!
    [/quote]

    i dunno if going to church would be the answer, but maybe if he stopped sipping on that sizzurp and listening to master p and immortal technique, he would be a little less suicidal/homicidal.

    i mean really, that dude is living the verge of being a juggalo, and thats not a good place to be.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Bama Star's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Mooncalf link=topic=14851.msg923516#msg923516 date=1215614290]
    When I was in the hospital, one of the therapists asked of people who were religious "Is your God a kind, loving God? Or is he a vengeful God?" and tried to talk to them about how they had enough problems without God hating them because they were sinners on top of their mental health issues. I completely agreed with her.
    There was a lot of 12 step talk. Out of about a dozen people on my floor, I was the only one who wasn't in for detox. I think being in on the AA stuff was more helpful than the rest of the therapy even though I'm not into drugs.

    And on the selfish front, yeah it is selfish to kill yourself when you have kids, I completely agree. Right now. When I'm stable and rational. But when I OD'ed I was on Ativan for the anxiety I was having and I didn't know WTF I was doing. I remember taking the first two doses on March 20th, and then just bits until early morning on March 27th. I lost a whole week. Turns out I was either forgetting I had taken the med already, or because of the shit that was going on at the time I was enjoying the "high" I got off it. I really don't know which it was. I was NOT in my right mind. Just the depression shit I can deal with, I've been dealing with it as long as I can remember and it's only getting worse as I get older. But the depression + the meds + a fiht with the babydaddy was just too much for me to handle at that time.
    Is the babydaddy worth killing myself over? HELL FUCK NO. But again, when you get to the point where suicide seems like a logical choice, you're NOT thinking logically anymore.
    [/quote]


    My mom was put on Ativan for anxiety too. She remembers taking the first few doses and then kept taking more because she was convinced she didn't take the right dosage. I called my grandmother and aunt to come over because I couldn't leave her alone but I had to get myself and my daughter away because she was becoming violent towards me (my daughter was 1 at the time and I was scared to have her in the house with my mother being so out of it). When my gma got here, my mom was convinced that they were going to hurt her, so she barricaded the door and jumped out of her second story window seriously hurting herself (sprained her ankle and had a huge gash in her arm.... 22 stitches).

    When the paramedics and police got to my house, a cop accused ME of pushing her out of the window.... Needless to say, my grandmother, who is probably no more than 5' tall and skinny as a rail, almost pulled out a can of whoopass. She's a fiesty one. The cops then came inside and found the room barricaded from the INSIDE so they apologized and went about their business.

    My mother told them that night that my dad & I keep her locked in her room and dont feed her and don't refill her medication (which all of it was gone, but not scheduled to be refilled for another 2 weeks).

    She's in recovery now after battling prescription drugs and alcohol addiction, and is doing well. I've gone through many nights though over the past 5 years of sitting beside her bed all night just to make sure she's still breathing. She's tried to commit suicide atleast 4 or more times.

    I don't think she's selfish. She is delusional and really believes that we would be better off if she wasn't around anymore. I love my mom, she was my best friend, until her addiction came between us. Her addiction has come between all of us, it's even came between my dad & I because we want to handle it two different ways... I want her in a rehab facility 24 hours a day until she's completely clean and my dad loves her so much and it kills him to think of her being alone somewhere without us, so he wants to work on it with her, through counseling and outpatient treatments.

    I've never opened up to anyone about that, only one of my friends knows about it... and she doesn't even know quite how bad it really is.
    ask me questions damnit<br />http://www.formspring.me/bama

  6. #56
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    I won't quote you bama, in case you decide to delete that post, I just wanted to say I totally understand your situation with you and your mom and how her addiction has caused problems in your family.
    It's the same way in our family, too.&nbsp;
    A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

  7. #57
    Senior Member Bama Star's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    thank you!&nbsp;

    It's nice to know someone understands.

    ask me questions damnit<br />http://www.formspring.me/bama

  8. #58

    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    Oh, Ativan, my favorite! Nothing stops a panic attack like a mil of Ativan.

    I've never attempted suicide, but I have thought about it. When I was first diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I thought my life was over and I was just going to suffer through chemo while the chemicals kept me alive. Especailly when I was diagnosed with Stage 4B NS with lung involvement. No one wants to hear that they have stage 4 and it's a really hard thing to wrap your mind around. I never thought I would be so mentally unstable. I was physically hurting myself. Not to the point of cutting myself, but I didn't mind pinching myself or scratching until skin came off. The B symptoms of Hodgkin's is extreme itchiness and I didn't hesitate scratching my skin off when I was in one of my funks. My legs and arms are permanently scarred. lol, even now just thinking about it, I'm pinching my legs.

    One day I sat on the edge of my bed with a bottle of morphine and oxycodone. It was so easy, but I couldn't bring myself to open the bottles. I stared at the bottles for at least 20 minutes. I started having a panic attack and I called my future MIL downstairs. She gave me an Ativan and not even 5 minutes later, I was relaxed and calm (more like a zombie state, but not freaking out any more.) I've been religiously taking them twice a day, every day ever since. Well, I took hers until my oncologist got me my own prescription.

    Now I'm in full remission and chemo is done at the end of the month. I still take Ativan before bedtime. My body has become addicted to it, at least before bed, I can't sleep without it. It does help with some of my nausea too, because most of the time, my nausea is self-induced by thinking about chemo coming up or a bad meal I had while recieving chemo. I can never look at soup or cauliflower the same again.&nbsp;

    It's not just the meds that help me. I've got my fiance who keeps my head up and his family has been more than helpful by taking us in and paying for everything. And of course my family welcomed us and offered to take care of us as well...but my mom's house is FREEAAAKKKYYYYY!!! I visit a lot though!

    I used to think that people that attemped suicide were selfish, but once I've been there, I really do sympathize with them. Not saying that I even compare to other people, I just think twice before calling someone selfish.

    That was long...I've never told anyone that entire story...

  9. #59
    Senior Member Bama Star's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    hi niffer!&nbsp; :2wave:



    also.. quit pinching your legs!

    youre very lucky to have so many people there for you and to be supportive!



    ask me questions damnit<br />http://www.formspring.me/bama

  10. #60

    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=14851.msg923060#msg923060 date=1215574927]
    Wait...what? You're fuckin kidding me.
    [/quote]

    i think we might go to the same church (well did)

    except they only talked about Titanic was the ship of faithfulness to god. and it drowned because it was full with sinners and stuff.

    but this is also the church that on BRING YOUR FRIEND TO PSR day i brought a Jewish friend (father Jewish mother catholic) but because her last name was Berkowtiz i was kicked out of the PSR program and the church....

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    Re: Ever tried suicide?


    I used to get picked on a lot since I had skin problems back when I was younger. I was depressed most of the time and while I contemplated suicide and death I had never considered it. Most of my friends were utterly fake, weak physically and pathetically obvious mental thralls to stereotypes. One day, I took a good look at my self in the mirror and I saw through the ugliness in the mirror some form of beauty in my desperate, disfigured mentality. It gave me strength; the fact I was living everyday like my last would propel me into a powerful mindset.

    Within the next few weeks I would bide my time as the bullying died down but then finally a day came around when It picked up and I snapped, hurling a harasser backwards in his chair. That moment I solidified my new personality in his failure. I was not going to lay down or take abuse, and I got it in my head that nothing was going to stand in my way anymore. But still somehow, my character wasn't complete.

    Soon high school was passing as I defended my new friends and myself from further abuse. People started to become terrified to fight me with words, or with their fists. It was a great feeling to be who I was, and to be as defining through all of my problems.

    Christmas rolled around my junior year and a few weeks before my life long best friend died over dosing on heroine.&nbsp; Long hours I spent trying to understand it, it all boiled down to depression and loneliness and longing for friends and fun. He was a strong person when we were children, and he gave me the foundation for my don't tread on me outlook, but it somehow faded for him which I thought never could. I took a piece of him with me after his death.

    As the days passed and Life went by in his absence, I began to slip into depression again but through it began to see another perspective - it was beautiful. Beauty was in everything around me, I saw it in fights with loved ones, and harsh words, in&nbsp; pain and anger, and I even saw it in his death.&nbsp; Beauty in everything, even ugliness - It made no sense at all - it made perfect sense, it's the enigma I still think about.

    I met more people, strong people, eloquent in speech and in thought, and absolutely intuitive; crucial parts of a puzzle I needed to complete. I took everything I could from their knowledge and experience, and they became parts of me. Then the day came where nothing bothered me, there were no points I couldn't argue, no hurt I couldn't heal, no friend I couldn't help and no problem I couldn't solve - but still i was demonized! People thought so terribly of me, and so I gave myself a nickname, mephisto - figuring if I was so evil perhaps I should have a suiting name. And so&nbsp; I was completed.

    Since those days nothing has phased me, times are still dark and it seems like my sun is always setting, but I find my way in the dark because I'm used to it, and when people take me there with insults I just figure they're stepping into territory I know like the back of my hand. They’re the ones entering the lion’s den.

    &nbsp; I haven't thought about suicide, in a long, long time. My skin has healed and I read the bible and find comfort in the idea of god, I'm trained in martial arts and enjoy fighting every Thursday - I even got a pretty girl I'm positive I love more than anything and all of that keeps me stronger, and allows me to grow further. . It’s at this moment I’d like to thank all the morons who made my life as miserable as they did because I’m now surpassing


    So, this wasn't really about suicide but I did overcome all those thoughts and that’s my story in a very small nutshell leaving out more detail than I can remember at the moment. But, I just want to say that there is absolutely nothing you can’t do. There are no doors you can’t open in your mind, no problems you can’t solve by yourself, and no pain you can’t heal when you’re alone and your sun is beginning to set.

    So don’t look at yourself like you’re ugly – you’ve got something inside yourself you can work with and expand upon. Take all the beautiful qualities you find in people and use them.


    That’s my story if any body cared


    My humble thanks to everybody who read, and the creator of this site. Good luck

    ~Mephisto

  12. #62
    mydeathspace
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    Good post Mephisto. Glad you're here.

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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=mydeathspace link=topic=14851.msg975185#msg975185 date=1219136715]
    Good post Mephisto. Glad you're here.
    [/quote]

    Thank you, glad to be here!


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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    Long story but yes....and I am sooooo thankful that I was not successful.....It was almost 3 years ago...Life took a dramatic spin for me and I didn't know which way to turn. For the first time in my life I thought that death would be so much better than life...Being new to this site I'm pretty embarrased about it and don't want people to think &quot;GEE what a crazy woman&quot;...

    I learned alot from that experience...What I learned most: Nothing is as bad as it seems....!!!!! NOTHING!!!! not that bad....Life is very good for me now..I think the man upstairs has alot to do with it but the saying &quot;LIFE is what you make of it&quot; is so damn true...I vowed after my recovery that I would turn my life around and here I am...Alive....
    They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=angel2 link=topic=14851.msg978354#msg978354 date=1219358372]
    Long story but yes....and I am sooooo thankful that I was not successful.....It was almost 3 years ago...Life took a dramatic spin for me and I didn't know which way to turn. For the first time in my life I thought that death would be so much better than life...Being new to this site I'm pretty embarrased about it and don't want people to think &quot;GEE what a crazy woman&quot;...

    I learned alot from that experience...What I learned most: Nothing is as bad as it seems....!!!!! NOTHING!!!! not that bad....Life is very good for me now..I think the man upstairs has alot to do with it but the saying &quot;LIFE is what you make of it&quot; is so damn true...I vowed after my recovery that I would turn my life around and here I am...Alive....
    [/quote]

    Thank you for opening up.&nbsp; As you probably know, you're not alone in this experience, not on this site, anyway.

  16. #66
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    Nope, you're definitely not alone.&nbsp; I've been struggling with my 'inner demons' for the past 20 years.&nbsp; I've been tempted to take a few too many pills, stabbing myself, jumping in the river....&nbsp; When the depression comes, it really hits hard, but when the moment of truth is there, I always chicken out.&nbsp; For the past 3 years, I've been treated for it.&nbsp; But sometimes the meds aren't even enough to help.

  17. #67
    Senior Member merdeath's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    God reading all these stories really makes me tear up :(

    I too suffer from depression and have tried the pill thing.&nbsp; Feeling so low that suicide is the&nbsp; only brightness you can see out of the darkness is the worst feeling in the world.&nbsp; I am so glad I was able to pick my self out of that otherwise&nbsp; I highly doubt I'd be here today.&nbsp; I hope all of you can do the same&nbsp;

  18. #68
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=missberi link=topic=14851.msg981480#msg981480 date=1219614762]
    God reading all these stories really makes me tear up :(

    I too suffer from depression and have tried the pill thing.&nbsp; Feeling so low that suicide is the&nbsp; only brightness you can see out of the darkness is the worst feeling in the world.&nbsp; I am so glad I was able to pick my self out of that otherwise&nbsp; I highly doubt I'd be here today.&nbsp; I hope all of you can do the same&nbsp;
    [/quote]

    Yeah, the pill thing.&nbsp; Seems like the best way to go until you wake up covered in vomit (at least that's how I woke up).&nbsp; Every time I start thinking like that, I re-read the story of actress Lupe Velez.&nbsp;

  19. #69

    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=jeneria link=topic=14851.msg982692#msg982692 date=1219700517]
    Yeah, the pill thing.&nbsp; Seems like the best way to go until you wake up covered in vomit (at least that's how I woke up).&nbsp; Every time I start thinking like that, I re-read the story of actress Lupe Velez.&nbsp;
    [/quote]

    Or you end up like me &amp; wind up with neurological problems for the rest of your life.

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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    Wow, those stories were really touching. It's good to let your feelings out. I often see suicide being branded as selfish, not many taking it seriously. I find that selfish, as no one knows how the person is feeling, or going through. Back in the days... when i was in school, my head teacher comitted suicide by throwing herself of a bridge into traffic below, due to her cancer coming back. The school was devestated. A week later a straight A student hung herself. Turned out that the student was being mentored by the head teacher, i know i am probably going to get slated for putting this on this post due to it being a ' ever tried suicide? ' post, but i just thought i would share that... plus im new gimme a chance!!&nbsp; :2cool:

  21. #71
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Hotsauce McGilacuty link=topic=14851.msg921367#msg921367 date=1215483207]
    i would be one of those people. it would be selfish of you for sure, how wouldn't it be? im not meaning to be harsh, but im not going to blow sunshine up your ass just because i feel sorry for you. could you imagine your kids being at your funeral? this shit pisses me off, im raising a kid who lost a parent who fought to be here and it's hard as hell. i've been to tons of grief therapy sessions with other people raising kids who had a parent die, do you know what it does to these kids? kids are different than adults, they go through growth phases, every time they hit a new phase it's like losing their parent all over again. mothers days, fathers days, holidays, birthdays, getting their drivers license, graduations, school parent activities. until they become adults, missing a parent is constantly being thrown in their face. don't do that shit to them. they wont get over it.
    [/quote]


    oh my god...the word selfish again. After dealing with a family member attempting suicide ...she has twin girls who are 5 years old...I know that selfish is the wrong word. If someone wants to die ..I truly believe that most of the time they do not feel they are benefiting themselves.&nbsp; Most people do not commit suicide bc they think it will make whatever being they are better...they feel as though their family (children especially) will be better without them in the long run. In no way do I agree with this but from dealing with this first hand I understand. luckily I...along with my extended family...have intervened, leading the family member to seek help. But..honestly...no matter what tramas any of us go through in life...relating to suicide or not...none of us will know the pain or thoughts that those who decide to end their life go through. So ...as adults...have some respect.

  22. #72
    Most awesome Member emmy_dreamy's Avatar
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=tyt115 link=topic=14851.msg1009875#msg1009875 date=1221723233]

    oh my god...the word selfish again. After dealing with a family member attempting suicide ...she has twin girls who are 5 years old...I know that selfish is the wrong word. If someone wants to die ..I truly believe that most of the time they do not feel they are benefiting themselves.&nbsp; Most people do not commit suicide bc they think it will make whatever being they are better...they feel as though their family (children especially) will be better without them in the long run. In no way do I agree with this but from dealing with this first hand I understand. luckily I...along with my extended family...have intervened, leading the family member to seek help. But..honestly...no matter what tramas any of us go through in life...relating to suicide or not...none of us will know the pain or thoughts that those who decide to end their life go through. So ...as adults...have some respect.
    [/quote]

    I already posted this in the suicide prevent thread but I think it fits here as well:

    Due to my recent experience with an attempted suicide in the family, I would like to weigh in on the selfishness discussion.&nbsp; In order to be selfish one must not be mentally ill.&nbsp; Since most suicides have a history of mental illness, I think saying that they are selfish is off the mark.&nbsp; To be selfish requires rational intent and people with mental illnesses are typically not rational.&nbsp; If anything they see their actions as selflessness.&nbsp; The complete opposite of what you are saying.&nbsp; They think the world would be better off with out them or that they are a hindrance to others.&nbsp; Killing themselves is the only way they can think of irrationally albeit, to save friends and family the pain of having to deal with their illness.&nbsp; My nephew for instance has always been antisocial and shy.&nbsp; Just with in the last couple of years he has gotten a few friends and started dating.&nbsp; Although I do not know yet what lead him to choose suicide, I believe it may have been the depression medications he is prescribed.&nbsp; If not taken correctly, which he wasn't, they can really fuck with your head.
    http://mydeathspace.com/vb/signaturepics/sigpic8247_1.gif

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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Hotsauce McGilacuty link=topic=14851.msg921367#msg921367 date=1215483207]
    i would be one of those people. it would be selfish of you for sure, how wouldn't it be? im not meaning to be harsh, but im not going to blow sunshine up your ass just because i feel sorry for you. could you imagine your kids being at your funeral? this shit pisses me off, im raising a kid who lost a parent who fought to be here and it's hard as hell. i've been to tons of grief therapy sessions with other people raising kids who had a parent die, do you know what it does to these kids? kids are different than adults, they go through growth phases, every time they hit a new phase it's like losing their parent all over again. mothers days, fathers days, holidays, birthdays, getting their drivers license, graduations, school parent activities. until they become adults, missing a parent is constantly being thrown in their face. don't do that shit to them. they wont get over it.
    [/quote]

    Hotsauce, while I can understand how you can hold these beliefs and have these feelings, they don't seem very productive or realistic to me. By and large when people commit suicide, they're not in their rational mind so their normal perspective on life isn't available to them. I think prevention is the best policy here. Encouraging people to get help and allowing people to feel comfortable seeking help before they take action is critical. They don't need a guilt trip at this time or after as it will simply make them feel worse about themselves, more depressed, more likely to try suicide, and to kill themselves.

    Suicide can often be an impulsive act by someone under tremendous stress who might not even be trying to kill themselves yet are so out of control that they end up doing so. It's easy too destroy and much harder to build. Reducing suicides means we need to become more supportive and aware of what's happening with those we're close to. Ultimately, if we know we're at risk for suicide we need to take concrete actions to protect ourselves and be aware of the signs we're slipping and get professional help ASAP rather than succumbing to the urge to ignore it and hope it goes away.

  24. #74
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=emmy_dreamy link=topic=14851.msg1010053#msg1010053 date=1221750079]
    I already posted this in the suicide prevent thread but I think it fits here as well:

    Due to my recent experience with an attempted suicide in the family, I would like to weigh in on the selfishness discussion.&nbsp; In order to be selfish one must not be mentally ill.&nbsp; Since most suicides have a history of mental illness, I think saying that they are selfish is off the mark.&nbsp; To be selfish requires rational intent and people with mental illnesses are typically not rational.&nbsp; If anything they see their actions as selflessness.&nbsp; The complete opposite of what you are saying.&nbsp; They think the world would be better off with out them or that they are a hindrance to others.&nbsp; Killing themselves is the only way they can think of irrationally albeit, to save friends and family the pain of having to deal with their illness.&nbsp; My nephew for instance has always been antisocial and shy.&nbsp; Just with in the last couple of years he has gotten a few friends and started dating.&nbsp; Although I do not know yet what lead him to choose suicide, I believe it may have been the depression medications he is prescribed.&nbsp; If not taken correctly, which he wasn't, they can really fuck with your head.
    [/quote]

    Thank you for posting this.&nbsp; I know I have tried to explain suicide the same way you did above, but I think your discussion was beautifully straightforward.&nbsp;

    I'm usually coming at the suicide discussion from my position as a bipolar II sufferer so I get all bogged down in clinical lingo which comes across as pseudo-intellectual or pretentious.

  25. #75
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    Re: Ever tried suicide?

    [quote author=Hotsauce McGilacuty link=topic=14851.msg921367#msg921367 date=1215483207]
    i would be one of those people. it would be selfish of you for sure, how wouldn't it be? im not meaning to be harsh, but im not going to blow sunshine up your ass just because i feel sorry for you. could you imagine your kids being at your funeral? this shit pisses me off, im raising a kid who lost a parent who fought to be here and it's hard as hell. i've been to tons of grief therapy sessions with other people raising kids who had a parent die, do you know what it does to these kids? kids are different than adults, they go through growth phases, every time they hit a new phase it's like losing their parent all over again. mothers days, fathers days, holidays, birthdays, getting their drivers license, graduations, school parent activities. until they become adults, missing a parent is constantly being thrown in their face. don't do that shit to them. they wont get over it.
    [/quote]That has been what has always kept me from doing it. Life can be such a bitch sometimes,and it seems like it would be soo easy 2 say &quot;fuck it&quot;,but everytime it always has came back 2 me thinking of my family,my son at my funeral,him growing up without a Mommy and possibly growing up to think somehow it was his fault :-( We have a &quot;history&quot; in my family of depression. I know alot of people might think antidepressents are bs,but,I started taking Effexor,and it helped almost immediatly.

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