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Thread: Dumb things that make you happy.

  1. #19151
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    My 5 yr old has been taught "rock, paper, scissors" recently. She doesn't completely understand what she's doing...she thinks rock beats everything. 30 mins of "rock, paper scissors, show me what you got!" for someone only playing rock has gotten pretty old. but it's so cute.

  2. #19152
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    DTTMMH: I told my sister last weekend that I would watch my 6 month old nephew so her and her dude could go out tonight and I'd stay the night so they could be out as late as they'd like. She hadn't gotten back to me with an answer until today and she sent me "Hi. I got everything set up for tonight! I got you sunflower seeds, and I'm stopping at the liquor store to get vodka and I'd be happy to rent you a redbox movie if you'd like!" She knows me too well. And I hope this goes without saying, but please no one think I plan on getting plowed to watch my nephew. The vodka is for after he goes down for the night and even then I will be too nervous to get anything but a slight buzz until they get home.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  3. #19153
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    DTTMMH: My mom invited me out to sit outside and have a drink somewhere with her. (It's sunny and 66 degrees here! Beautiful day!) I went and not only did her and I have a good talk, but my daiquiri was made with spiced rum and suuuupes strong so I have a nice buzz going on. At 3:27pm. Awesome. Today is a good day!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  4. #19154
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    DTTMMH: My mom invited me out to sit outside and have a drink somewhere with her. (It's sunny and 66 degrees here! Beautiful day!) I went and not only did her and I have a good talk, but my daiquiri was made with spiced rum and suuuupes strong so I have a nice buzz going on. At 3:27pm. Awesome. Today is a good day!
    sounds delightful! keep up the good work. visits with moms can be volatile which makes the good times even better.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  5. #19155
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    sounds delightful! keep up the good work. visits with moms can be volatile which makes the good times even better.
    Tis why it made the day fab. I live with my mom and we are polar opposites. I'm just like my dad, so I drive her crazy and she drives me equally crazy, so the fact that we went out for a drink and had a good, calm, happy conversation about our feelings was fucking amazing. Hopefully we will get along better from here and out...and if not, there is always alcohol!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  6. #19156
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    only a little booze though... if you keep going, something will break. every damn time.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  7. #19157
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    this guy and what he is making. i was so excited i had to make two different accounts because i wanted several things he was offering...

    https://d2pq0u4uni88oo.cloudfront.ne...-h264_high.mp4

    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects...en-templesmith

    i ordered the book/shirt combo and went back for the kill em all shirt.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  8. #19158
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    I have never eaten venison, and I sure as hell don't hunt, but for some reason I find this hysterical.




    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  9. #19159
    Save Bandit! Angiebla's Avatar
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    Aww that makes me

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  10. #19160
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    I haven't failed a family health test yet. I've never been more excited to say I'm not failing.

    I love venison. Mmmmmmm.

  11. #19161
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    That picture made my stomach growl. Something is going on with my stomach for the past couple of days and I haven't eaten much. I want that fucking meat.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  12. #19162
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    That picture made my stomach growl. Something is going on with my stomach for the past couple of days and I haven't eaten much. I want that fucking meat.
    omg. that's awesome lol

  13. #19163
    Sofa King Tired PunkerDuckie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    That picture made my stomach growl. Something is going on with my stomach for the past couple of days and I haven't eaten much. I want that fucking meat.
    Well, hello new sig.
    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    I want that fucking meat.

  14. #19164
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PunkerDuckie View Post
    Well, hello new sig.
    Dammit lol I was going to but I was being rushed. I'm jealous.

  15. #19165
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    That picture made my stomach growl. Something is going on with my stomach for the past couple of days and I haven't eaten much. I want that fucking meat.
    Hot.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  16. #19166
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PunkerDuckie View Post
    Well, hello new sig.
    OMG yay! I've never been in a sig before!! I'm so happy!
    Quote Originally Posted by Words Words View Post
    omg. that's awesome lol
    I'M SO HUNGRY.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    Hot.
    That's how I seduce my men.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  17. #19167
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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  18. #19168
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    DTTMMH: Just got word that my aunt was given her 30 days. She just lost her job and her place to live. Karma. Is. Glorious.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  19. #19169
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words Words View Post
    My 5 yr old has been taught "rock, paper, scissors" recently. She doesn't completely understand what she's doing...she thinks rock beats everything. 30 mins of "rock, paper scissors, show me what you got!" for someone only playing rock has gotten pretty old. but it's so cute.
    I couldn't resist. I've been watching reruns of The Big Bang theory and the Rock Paper Scissors' episode came on.




    I'm adding the youtube to here. I've always wondered how many takes it took Sheldon to get it right. That was an awesome part.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSLeBKT7-sM

  20. #19170
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    DTTMMH: Just got word that my aunt was given her 30 days. She just lost her job and her place to live. Karma. Is. Glorious.
    Just wanted to update that my aunt was actually fired. She has today until 5 to get the fuck out of her apartment. And you know who had a hand in that? My ex-bestfriend who backstabbed me with her. MUAHAHAHAHAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH???
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  21. #19171
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  22. #19172
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncomfortablyNumb View Post
    Just wanted to update that my aunt was actually fired. She has today until 5 to get the fuck out of her apartment. And you know who had a hand in that? My ex-bestfriend who backstabbed me with her. MUAHAHAHAHAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH???
    any other deets?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  23. #19173
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    I've been waiting for mine.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  24. #19174
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    any other deets?
    I'll give you the deets I know. First of all, she was humping one of the caregivers that works there. (Barf, she humps everything) And after I had my little fling with one of the workers there and it ended badly the boss so no more. The live in caregiver that was there used to be good friends with my aunt but my aunt fucked her over and ended up getting her fired, so she had a 30 day notice to move out of the retirement home. She told them what was going on between her and the caregiver and they asked her to take pictures of him leaving her apt. I dunno if that ever happened, but I got a message from my uncle yesterday saying that both of the owners for the retirement home and the owner of the company they get their caregivers from were there and shit was going down. He told me that they gave her 30 days to move out and resign from her job. Then today I get a message from my uncle saying that my ex-bestfriend who still works there sent a 2 page email to the owners about my aunt. I have no idea what it said (but man what I'd give to read that shit) but they told my aunt she was fired and had to be out by 5pm today. I guess she was stealing stuff out of the resident's rooms, the residents were afraid of her (because she's fucking psychotic), and one of the residents said they were tired of hearing her have loud sex with the caregiver that she's fucking. She's so gross. Those are the only details I have, but it's restored my faith in karma.

    Another DTTMMH: My brother just texted me asking me to go to the outlet mall with him. Brother/sister time!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  25. #19175
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Dear holy goat shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

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