We were fortunate I guess. We had children at a young age. We had parents who were involved and babysat when we needed them to. I was also working and going to college at the same time. I have no idea how I did it, but I did. Certainly don't think I could do it now. But looking back, I don't regret anything. And I also don't feel like I missed out on anything.
Oh, I get ya. I have a friend who tries to make me feel guilty for not having/wanting kids. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, either. I have a niece and nephew and tons of friends with kids. I use to think I did, but looking back, I'm very happy with the way things turned out. I don't know how anyone does family, work, and school. I really don't. Kudos to you for getting through it!Originally Posted by blu
Don't let the success stories fool you. There are heaps of people who are like WHAT WAS I THINKING about having kids young. Same with people having them when they're older.
I just hate when you mention either circumstance being difficult, cause everyone becomes the exception to the rule. No one ever jumps out and says "Yea, my sister had a kid at 19, what a maroon! Biggest mistake ever and her kid is evil" or "I have a friend that had her first kid at 41 and she wishes she could turn back the clock and make her kid disappear, she's in Hell and her kid is a maroon!"
It's always how awesome everything is and how well adjusted everyone is.
Oh, and this. I can't do one out of three! How the fuck does someone do all that!?!?
My older bro was 18 when my nephew was born. He turned 19 a month later, not that it matters. He has said that my nephew tied him down, that he had to grow up and couldn't do things that his friends were doing. I was like, 'uh, yeah because you are a maroon!' My niece and nephew suck the life out of me. I love them, but I love giving them back more.Don't let the success stories fool you. There are heaps of people who are like WHAT WAS I THINKING about having kids young. Same with people having them when they're older.
I just hate when you mention either circumstance being difficult, cause everyone becomes the exception to the rule. No one ever jumps out and says "Yea, my sister had a kid at 19, what a maroon! Biggest mistake ever and her kid is evil" or "I have a friend that had her first kid at 41 and she wishes she could turn back the clock and make her kid disappear, she's in Hell and her kid is a maroon!"
It's always how awesome everything is and how well adjusted everyone is.
Seriously. I worked full time and went to school full time. There is no way I could handle a freaking kid. Or spouse for that matter. I was still prowling.Oh, and this. I can't do one out of three! How the fuck does someone do all that!?!?
FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
Even though I was four. And got carded for cigs today.YEAH 30 IN LESS THAN TWO MONTHS.
I don't even...what?
idk. I don't think you should "not want to have a kid so young." First of all, you're 21, not 15. Second, you should do what you want. If my kid wants to have a kid and is ready and excited at 21, I'll be happy for her. Not everything needs a time stamp.
Even though it'll make me a grandma at 41.
Totally agree with this. My nephew told me he is sexually active. I buy him condoms. That kind of makes me sound like a creepfabulous aunt. I keep saying he is 19, but his bday is next month. Aunt of the year right here. Anyway, if he had a kid right now, the kid would suffer. He is not emotionally or mentally capable of taking care of a kid, or himself for that matter.idk. I don't think you should "not want to have a kid so young." First of all, you're 21, not 15. Second, you should do what you want. If my kid wants to have a kid and is ready and excited at 21, I'll be happy for her. Not everything needs a time stamp.
Even though it'll make me a grandma at 41.
Like Ron mentioned, most people don't regret their kiddos. Both sides think the other is missing out and both sides think they haven't missed out on anything. Except my mom. She's all the time saying shit like, "if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have had kids and I wouldn't have married your dad." But she would be miserable in any life situation.
Wow, no offense, but your mom sounds like a cunt.
I didn't plan to get knocked up at 19 (shockingly), but yeah, I don't regret it for a second. I did then, but not now. She's my favorite thing in the world, and I don't even wish I would have been smarter about birth control, because then I wouldn't have her. I don't think anyone is missing out for not having a kid. I wouldn't be missing out if I didn't have her. I'm just really happy that I do.
And I think it's awesome that you're buying him condoms. Not creepanything at all. He could get them for free at PP, though.
I don't regret having a child as early as I did, and I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. I had fun in high school and went straight into college. My husband and I "dated" all through high school, then four years later we were married. He left for the Air Force about a month after we got married, and then from there we moved all over the US map. I finished school, we were both financially stable, and then we had Syd. I feel like I've had a great life! I don't look back and think "Why did I do that?" about any of the life decisions I've made (except for becoming a fat ass for 3.5-4 years), but I also understand that my situation is not common. While I do wish the happy/healthy life I've had for my daughter, I want her to do it a different way. I say this because I don't expect her to find the guy she wants to marry as early as I did. I certainly never expected to. He is a really good man, and I don't think they make them like him anymore. He's a freak of nature.
All of that shit really is a DTTMMH.
I guess when you explain it that way, I can see it. I can't imagine getting married when I was that young, but I also wasn't meeting anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with when I was 20.
Kudos.
I am doing this baby thing at 31 and I did it at 19/20. On your body it is super easy to be pregnant young. Well for me I had no aches or pains. Now this one I feel like my body is going to fall apart. If I had to do it again I would have waiting with my first still. I know I probably look like a jack ass but I was a stupid kid at that age. The guy I had a baby with is a complete asshole. I was poor and she never got to do the things I know this kid will be able to do. I hope that she does not hate me for it. I couldn't afford for her to be in dance or go on trips. i worked 7 days a week just to keep us with a roof over our head.
ron_nyc: I don't like the black ones much.
WOW! i'm so happy this happened to you and so is my mom!
My mother died in 2001. Yesterday my brother called and told me he just found a letter she had written to me while she was in the hospital, before her surgery, which she did not recover from. The letter was stuck in the book she was reading and none of us ever opened the book until yesterday. So, it has been almost 11 years, and this letter appears. My mother and I had many disagreements after I chose to have children very young. It seemed we were arguing over everything, all the time. This letter was telling me how proud she was of me and how I turned out to be her hero.This is a DTTMMH.
DTTMMH: An 80 degree sunny day, windows down, and this coming on my XM radio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A
Hells yea. And that video makes me happy too.
80 in October and that's a good thing?
-1
Hell yea!! 90 is hot. 80 with a breeze is PERFECT
Oh no, she's a cunt. I still love her, even though I can't stand her. The nearest PP is about 40 miles south. My nephew talks to me about almost everything. They closed the one in town (yes, in town because I have to drive into town for everything) closed, probably, 10 years ago.Wow, no offense, but your mom sounds like a cunt.
I didn't plan to get knocked up at 19 (shockingly), but yeah, I don't regret it for a second. I did then, but not now. She's my favorite thing in the world, and I don't even wish I would have been smarter about birth control, because then I wouldn't have her. I don't think anyone is missing out for not having a kid. I wouldn't be missing out if I didn't have her. I'm just really happy that I do.
And I think it's awesome that you're buying him condoms. Not creepanything at all. He could get them for free at PP, though.
I can see what everyone is saying about having kids young. I don't think any of you regret having kiddos young. I feel like if I had kids when I was young, I would resent it, even though it would have been my fault for getting pregnant in the first place. I thought I was pregnant in college, I was 20, and freaking the fuck out. I was working full time, college full time, living on my own, I thought my life was over. I was in a relationship, but knew I didn't want to marry the guy (I was experimenting with heterosexuality at the time
I do wonder what my spawn would look like and what type of person (people) I would raise, but not enough to actually have one. It may be selfish, I dunno, but I also wouldn't want to bring a kid into my family. No kid deserves that shit.
Where you at? It's pushing 80 here too, in Ohio. It's suppose to be butt ass cold this weekend.
NC - absolutely gorgeous today.
No, selfish is having a kid when you know you really do not want to, and raising it with that subtle resentment.Oh no, she's a cunt. I still love her, even though I can't stand her. The nearest PP is about 40 miles south. My nephew talks to me about almost everything. They closed the one in town (yes, in town because I have to drive into town for everything) closed, probably, 10 years ago.
I can see what everyone is saying about having kids young. I don't think any of you regret having kiddos young. I feel like if I had kids when I was young, I would resent it, even though it would have been my fault for getting pregnant in the first place. I thought I was pregnant in college, I was 20, and freaking the fuck out. I was working full time, college full time, living on my own, I thought my life was over. I was in a relationship, but knew I didn't want to marry the guy (I was experimenting with heterosexuality at the time
I do wonder what my spawn would look like and what type of person (people) I would raise, but not enough to actually have one. It may be selfish, I dunno, but I also wouldn't want to bring a kid into my family. No kid deserves that shit.
I will NEVER EVER understand how it's selfish to not want children. What the fuck!?!
And it's gonna be warm here this weekend. I was so upset I considered staying in for Halloween. It's fucking October./ ENOUGH ALREADY!
Touche.
Yeah, that's a dumb argument. Not selfish at all. It is kind of hard for me to imagine not wanting kids, though it's obviously completely acceptable and the best decision for some people.
I think it's more WHO'S GOING TO BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE 80? But I guess your kids could hate you and cut you out of their lives by then, so you'd be alone anyway.
Exactly!!Yeah, that's a dumb argument. Not selfish at all. It is kind of hard for me to imagine not wanting kids, though it's obviously completely acceptable and the best decision for some people.
I think it's more WHO'S GOING TO BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE 80? But I guess your kids could hate you and cut you out of their lives by then, so you'd be alone anyway.
People can have friends, no matter what age they are. The old lady who's totally alone is usually alone because she's a miserable bitch...whether she has kids or not!
Unless she outlived all of her friends.
And sadly, having kids doesn't mean you will die before them.
i don't want to die before my kids, but i'm selfish like that.
I use to think I couldn't imagine life without kids, but I'm pretty happy with not having them. If I didn't have a niece and/or nephew, I may think differently. I no longer have a uterus or ovaries, so I don't even know why I'm talking about having kids anyway.Yeah, that's a dumb argument. Not selfish at all. It is kind of hard for me to imagine not wanting kids, though it's obviously completely acceptable and the best decision for some people.
I think it's more WHO'S GOING TO BE WITH YOU WHEN YOU'RE 80? But I guess your kids could hate you and cut you out of their lives by then, so you'd be alone anyway.
There are currently 5 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 5 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
