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Thread: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

  1. #51
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892098#msg892098 date=1213418663]
    More jokes please.
    [/quote]

    How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?

    Pay him for the pizza.

  2. #52
    Senior Member Onthedarkside's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=alexinmn link=topic=14703.msg892103#msg892103 date=1213418999]
    How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?

    Pay him for the pizza.

    [/quote]

    :x

  3. #53
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892105#msg892105 date=1213419051]
    :x
    [/quote]

    aww peaches, he was just kiddin.
    Quote Originally Posted by Peavey View Post
    The feminists never did beat twat, cunt, and bitch out of me, though.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Onthedarkside's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Another joke please.

  5. #55
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    What's an Amish woman's favorite sexual fantasy?
    Two Mennonite.



    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  6. #56
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy
    when she is pulled over by a cop.
      "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you
    a warning.  You have a broken reflector on your buggy."
      "Oh, I'll let my husband know as soon as I get home."
      "That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that
    one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his balls.
    I consider that animal abuse. That's cruelty to animals. Have your
    husband take care of that right away!"
      Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her
    encounter with the cop.
      "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"
      "He said the reflector is broken."
      "I can fix that in two minutes. Anything else?"
      "I'm not sure, something about the emergency brake..."


    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  7. #57
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    LAST ONE AND TO BED I GO....

    One night, Pinnochio's girlfriend says to him, "This stinks. Every time we
    make love I get splinters."


    So Pinnochio goes to Ghepetto to ask his advice. Ghepetto says, "Sandpaper,
    my boy, that's all you need."


    A few days later Ghepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, "So
    how are you doing with the girls now?"


    Pinnochio says, "Who needs girls?"


    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  8. #58
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
    And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
    It's either my mum or my dad... or maybe my older brother Colin.
    Or my younger brother Ho-Cha Chu.

    But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  9. #59
    creep trailerparktrash's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892130#msg892130 date=1213420564]
    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
    And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
    It's either my mum or my dad... or maybe my older brother Colin.
    Or my younger brother Ho-Cha Chu.

    But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
    [/quote]

    :lol: :lol: I love love love love that joke! :lol:
    And someone already told my favourite pool table joke :x

    Ummmm, What did the farmer say to the cow on his roof?


    Get down cow. :lol: :lol: Holy moly, I'm giggling just typing it out. I'm so lame
    Quote Originally Posted by Cap-n Meow
    TPT is more caramel. She's sweet and so smooth she'll slide a finger in your butthole.

  10. #60
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=trailerparktrash link=topic=14703.msg892135#msg892135 date=1213421023]
    :lol: :lol: I love love love love that joke! :lol:
    And someone already told my favourite pool table joke :x

    Ummmm, What did the farmer say to the cow on his roof?


    Get down cow. :lol: :lol: Holy moly, I'm giggling just typing it out. I'm so lame
    [/quote]


    :lol:

    My favorite joke of all time is as follows,

    Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back to you?

    A: A stick.


    I laugh everytime!  :lol:
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  11. #61
    Now featuring creatures. Creature Feature's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Have you heard the joke about the ceiling? Nah, forget it. Its above your heads.


    What do a frog, a bike, and a chicken have in common?

    They all have handlebars except the frog and the chicken

  12. #62
    creep trailerparktrash's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892137#msg892137 date=1213421186]

    :lol:

    My favorite joke of all time is as follows,

    Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back to you?

    A: A stick.


    I laugh everytime!  :lol:
    [/quote]

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: We were made for each other
    Quote Originally Posted by Cap-n Meow
    TPT is more caramel. She's sweet and so smooth she'll slide a finger in your butthole.

  13. #63
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Creature Feature link=topic=14703.msg892140#msg892140 date=1213421408]

    What do a frog, a bike, and a chicken have in common?

    They all have handlebars except the frog and the chicken
    [/quote]

    That one made me  :lol: .

    I am stealing it.
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  14. #64
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Female hormones in beer

    Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
    To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a
    1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
    1.) Gained weight
    2.) Talked excessively without making sense
    3.) Became overly emotional
    4.) Couldn't drive
    5.) Failed to think rationally
    6.) Argued over nothing
    7.) Had to sit down while urinating
    8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong


  15. #65
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=trailerparktrash link=topic=14703.msg892141#msg892141 date=1213421473]
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: We were made for each other
    [/quote]

    I love silly jokes.


    My hubby's favorite joke is,   

    Baby seal walks into a club.


    Most people groan at that one but he just giggles.


    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  16. #66
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    For you TPT.



    A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

    "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

    "What?, Because he's cross-eyed?"

    "No, because he's really heavy"
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  17. #67
    creep trailerparktrash's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892145#msg892145 date=1213421802]
    For you TPT.



    A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

    "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

    "What?, Because he's cross-eyed?"

    "No, because he's really heavy"
    [/quote]

    :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh I don't have enough smileys to convey my laughingness
    Quote Originally Posted by Cap-n Meow
    TPT is more caramel. She's sweet and so smooth she'll slide a finger in your butthole.

  18. #68
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=trailerparktrash link=topic=14703.msg892150#msg892150 date=1213422244]
    :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh I don't have enough smileys to convey my laughingness
    [/quote]

    I'm glad you like.

    Here are a few more just for you.



    1. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

    2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

    3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  19. #69
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892153#msg892153 date=1213422534]



    3. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
    [/quote]

    HOLY CRAPOLY I'M STEALING THIS ONE! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Quote Originally Posted by Cap-n Meow
    TPT is more caramel. She's sweet and so smooth she'll slide a finger in your butthole.

  20. #70
    Senior Member electricalst0rm's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    What is brown and sticky?
    -A stick

    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    -Unique up on it.

  21. #71
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!


    A girl goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother.

    The man tells her it will cost 300 dollars to send the message.

    She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message
    to my mother.

    So, then the man asks, "Anything???"

    And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!!"

    With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her,
    "Come in and close the door." She does.

    He then says, "Get on your knees." She does.

    He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does.

    He then says, "Go ahead, take it out." With that, she takes it out and takes hold
    of it with both hands.

    The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"

    She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says,
    "Hello...Mom?"

    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  22. #72
    Senior Member electricalst0rm's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Did you hear about the new French tank?

    Yeah it has 14 gears. 13 to go backwards and one to go forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.

  23. #73
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    What do you call a penguin in the desert?


    Lost.



  24. #74
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on The TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it Starts."

    His wife looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

    When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna Start."

    This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

    When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."

    "That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop Your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run Around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and Wash and iron all day long?"

    The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it's started."

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  25. #75
    Senior Member electricalst0rm's Avatar
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Do you have the buttfour?

    What's a buttfour?

    For pooping, silly.

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