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Thread: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

  1. #26
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Whats round, red, and goes up down up down up down?



    A tomato in an elevator

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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892031#msg892031 date=1213415779]
    Tammie will beat you all with the jokes!!  Believe me I know these things!
    [/quote]

    I don't know.  I'm a disciple of Jackie Martling.  I could give her some competition.

    For example:

    A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert, when suddenly the camel dies.

    The nun, thinking they are about to die turns to the priest and says, "Father, we are certain to die.  I've always wanted to know one thing.  What is it that lies between a man's legs?"

    The priest can't help himself.  He's sticking out like a stovepipe, so he takes off his pants and shows his huge penis.

    The nun looks on, aghast, and says, "Father!  What is that!"

    The priest looks at her coyly and says, "This, my daughter, is what gives life."

    The nun looks at him and says, "Then stick it up that camel's ass and let's get the fuck out of here!"


  3. #28
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Creature Feature link=topic=14703.msg892039#msg892039 date=1213416265]
    Whats round, red, and goes up down up down up down?



    A tomato in an elevator
    [/quote]

    The pink fluff one killed me.  That;s sad.

    and I chuckled at this one.  I am officially stupid   
    Quote Originally Posted by Peavey View Post
    The feminists never did beat twat, cunt, and bitch out of me, though.

  4. #29
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=s0ggysh0es link=topic=14703.msg892042#msg892042 date=1213416415]
    The pink fluff one killed me.  That;s sad.

    and I chuckled at this one.  I am officially stupid   
    [/quote]

    Stupid jokes are my favorite. Ive got quite a few

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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    What's green and slimy and smells like a pig?

    Kermit's finger

  6. #31
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Creature Feature link=topic=14703.msg892046#msg892046 date=1213416522]
    Stupid jokes are my favorite. Ive got quite a few
    [/quote]

    mine too  :oops:

    well share share
    Quote Originally Posted by Peavey View Post
    The feminists never did beat twat, cunt, and bitch out of me, though.

  7. #32
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=s0ggysh0es link=topic=14703.msg892049#msg892049 date=1213416591]
    mine too  :oops:

    well share share
    [/quote]

    Whats grey and sits in a cornfield?






    A filing cabinet

  8. #33
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    An elderly woman is upset at her husband's funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit," she says. The mortician replies, "We'll take care of it, ma'am." He then yells to a maintenance man nearby, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"



    One of my favorites.

    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day and confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

    His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

    "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

    "Oh, Bill, you didn't."

    "Yes, I did."

    "My God, Bill, what happened?"

    "I got fired."

    "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

    "Oh, she got fired too."
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  9. #34
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    !!! YAY !!!

    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.

    She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"

    He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."

    She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."

    St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."

    She says, "That's okay, I've already got holes for that."
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  11. #36
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    OMG!! When 1 hour has passed you ALL get more!! I am loving this!

    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  12. #37
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    Me too?

  13. #38
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892070#msg892070 date=1213417380]
    Me too?
    [/quote]

    karma whore.
    Quote Originally Posted by Peavey View Post
    The feminists never did beat twat, cunt, and bitch out of me, though.

  14. #39
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=s0ggysh0es link=topic=14703.msg892074#msg892074 date=1213417440]
    karma whore.
    [/quote]

    Yes

  15. #40
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892070#msg892070 date=1213417380]
    Me too?
    [/quote]

    of course! You finished my joke! YAY

    "The female of the species, is more deadly than the male."

  16. #41
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    What has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?

    *guy points to self using thumbs* This guy!

  17. #42
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    I am a Cookie Monster fan...not funny to others, but me

  18. #43
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    This is my new favorite thread.


    On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a gas station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The gas station attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greeting the golf star in a typical Irish manner, completely unaware of his identity. "Top of the mornin' to you, sir," says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello," and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "Well, what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger. "Jaysus, sweet Mary and Joseph," says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everything!"
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!


  20. #45
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    I have decided we can all have one more drink. Bedtime is 2:00 est.

  21. #46
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892083#msg892083 date=1213417945]
    I have decided we can all have one more drink. Bedtime is 2:00 est.
    [/quote]

    But I can't stay up that late. 

    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=alexinmn link=topic=14703.msg892080#msg892080 date=1213417828]
    I am a Cookie Monster fan...not funny to others, but me

    [/quote]

    I love Cookie Monster! That pic is hilarious. Here's another.



    And this one makes me laugh every time I think of it.

    Try to realize it&#39;s all within yourself. No one else can make you change. And to see you&#39;re really only very small. And life flows on within you and without you.<br /><br />--George Harrison--

  23. #48
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892085#msg892085 date=1213418026]
    But I can't stay up that late.&nbsp;


    [/quote]

    Okay.&nbsp; You can go to bed now!!&nbsp;

  24. #49
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=Onthedarkside link=topic=14703.msg892093#msg892093 date=1213418430]
    Okay.&nbsp; You can go to bed now!!&nbsp;
    [/quote]

    Check your PM's.&nbsp;


    I can stay up a bit longer.&nbsp;
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

  25. #50
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    Re: JOKES??!! Post 'em here! karma abounds!

    [quote author=teifl link=topic=14703.msg892095#msg892095 date=1213418522]
    Check your PM's.&nbsp;


    I can stay up a bit longer.&nbsp;
    [/quote]

    More jokes please.

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