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Thread: My uncle died...

  1. #1
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    My uncle died...

    I didn't know this uncle very well, he was my mom's half brother.  He too died of cancer. 

    That's not the shit of it for me. 

    Their father which technically would be my grandfather ( i detest this man, so I call him by his first name).  I hate this man for abandoning my mom with a bunch of drunk and child molesters,  My mom told me he was dead until I was ten.  At the age of ten he happened to show up at the house and mom then had to tell me he had be alive all this time.  At first I was thrilled.  Then as I got older I noticed even though he lived two minutes away he only came once or twice a year.  His wife, the stupid bitch, had made him cut all ties with his previous children.  So when he seen me in public he would pretend to not know who i was.  That is when I started to hate him and mom had begun to tell me what it was like growing up where she did.  When this woman died a few years back, he came around alot more he would even try to win me back,  when he got married for the third time mom helped him with the wedding.  I still hate him.

    I'm feeling bad for him because  he lost two of his children this year.  Within two months of each other.  Should I call him and see how he is doing?  I'm just feeling torn for feeling bad for this man.  I don't know.

    Was this post even coherent?

  2. #2
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    Re: My uncle died...

    [quote author=Broken Epiphany link=topic=1606.msg55111#msg55111 date=1158882686]
    I didn't know this uncle very well, he was my mom's half brother.Â* He too died of cancer.Â*

    That's not the shit of it for me.Â*

    Their father which technically would be my grandfather ( i detest this man, so I call him by his first name).Â* I hate this man for abandoning my mom with a bunch of drunk and child molesters,Â* My mom told me he was dead until I was ten.Â* At the age of ten he happened to show up at the house and mom then had to tell me he had be alive all this time.Â* At first I was thrilled.Â* Then as I got older I noticed even though he lived two minutes away he only came once or twice a year.Â* His wife, the stupid bitch, had made him cut all ties with his previous children.Â* So when he seen me in public he would pretend to not know who i was.Â* That is when I started to hate him and mom had begun to tell me what it was like growing up where she did.Â* When this woman died a few years back, he came around alot more he would even try to win me back,Â* when he got married for the third time mom helped him with the wedding.Â* I still hate him.

    I'm feeling bad for him becauseÂ* he lost two of his children this year.Â* Within two months of each other.Â* Should I call him and see how he is doing?Â* I'm just feeling torn for feeling bad for this man.Â* I don't know.

    Was this post even coherent?
    [/quote]

    What a dilema! If you're feeling torn despite his terrible treatment of you and your mother all these years, it probably means you're a deeper person than he. If that's true, you will probably feel guilty if you don't make some sort of gesture of condolence. He's a human being, so he's worthy of your sympathy, but he hasn't behaved in a way that deserves your guilt. You should probably be the bigger person and give him a call, if for no other reason than to avoid feeling guilty for not having done so.

    I hope that made sense, and I hope all this doesn't tear you up too much.
    People do what they know; when they know better, they do better....Maya Angelou

  3. #3
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    Re: My uncle died...

    yes it did, thank you!

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    Re: My uncle died...

    you know what, i think that you should call him because it would make you the bigger person. Not letting him know that he was getting to you. I'm sure he could use some comfort in knowing that you care about him somehow, even if its not a lot....does that make sense?
    <br /><br />

  5. #5
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    Re: My uncle died...

    I'm all for being the bigger person.&nbsp; Lets just say that my mother wouldn't have won any 'parenting of the year' awards.&nbsp; She was diagnosed with cancer and I couldn't have been more devoted to her than I was.&nbsp; I didn't even know I had it in me!&nbsp; She's been dead almost 4 years and I am thankful that I can say I was the bigger person.

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    Re: My uncle died...

    Yeah, I was trying but his phone was busy all night....I'll try tomarrow

  7. #7

    Re: My uncle died...

    sorry for both of your losses. it would seem like calling him up is the right thing to do, but how dare he act like you are a nobody out in public. you're his granddaughter, i mean, wtf? i'm sorry that you've gone through this, but i'm sure it's only made you stronger. i hope you figure out what works best for you &amp; can move forward.

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