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Thread: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

  1. #51
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg66903#msg66903 date=1160125409]
    [quote author=futureCRNA link=topic=1527.msg52004#msg52004 date=1158592491]
    I refuse to have sympathy for them, I feel sorry that their life ended the way it did, but I will not have sympathy.
    [/quote]

    I do.Â* I know what they went through and how bad it gets to want to take your own life.Â* You don't really want to die, but you can't live anymore.Â* One sign that a person who is severly depressed is seriously contemplating taking there life is that they seem to get better.Â* They are happier.Â* You know why?Â* Because they have finally figured a way out.Â* I was lucky, I was allergic to the pills I took and threw them up and then found a WONDERFUL doctor who actually gave a shit and understood my disease.Â* When I was too old to be on my parent's insurance and the waitressing job I had didn't offer insurance, I slipped back into a depression and tried it again.Â* People can say what they want about state mental health systems, but I say they suck.Â* The only thing that brought me through that time was supportive family and friends that never once yelled at me for putting them through hell.Â* (well, I take it back my mom did, but she's another story)Â* I now have a beautiful son and want to live more than anything.Â* I still have to treat the depression though, because it can get away from me.Â* It runs in my mom's family.Â* They are very successful people, but are on meds.Â*

    I have sympathy because these people didn't find the help they needed.Â* I have sympathy because I now know that suicide is not the answer and they don't.Â* My family and friends all thought that I was doing better right before I attempted suicide.Â* They thought I seemed happy.
    [/quote]
    Depression is NOT a disease. It's an infliction.  An infliction of utter fucked-up-ness placed on us by others or by events.
    Meds are only a temporary analgesic....don't fool yourself....
    If suicide has knocked on your door once, it'll surely be back again - meds only prolong the time in-between.

  2. #52
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    It's been 10 years since I've attempted and do not need meds all the time, only when I feel that I'm slipping into a depression.  The meds are there so suicide won't knock at my door again.  I realize that when I start slipping into the depression that I need treatment so that it won't get bad enough to want to die.  I know that abuse brought on my depression but it is a disease.  However, there are others that were abused just as badly as I (mine could have been a lot worse) that do not live with depression, so I think that I must have been predisposed to it.  And yes, sometimes events or abuse triggers it, just like smoking can cause cancer.  Infliction, disease, same difference - you have to treat them both.

  3. #53
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67707#msg67707 date=1160334655]
    It's been 10 years since I've attempted and do not need meds all the time, only when I feel that I'm slipping into a depression.Â* The meds are there so suicide won't knock at my door again.Â* I realize that when I start slipping into the depression that I need treatment so that it won't get bad enough to want to die.Â* I know that abuse brought on my depression but it is a disease.Â* However, there are others that were abused just as badly as I (mine could have been a lot worse) that do not live with depression, so I think that I must have been predisposed to it.Â* And yes, sometimes events or abuse triggers it, just like smoking can cause cancer.Â* Â*Infliction, disease, same difference - you have to treat them both.
    [/quote]
    true...but think of how healthy a person may have been without the exposure to the trigger...I feel for you.  I hope you are better now or least experience LONG in-between periods of peace.  :-)

  4. #54
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=Snuff Junkie link=topic=1527.msg67709#msg67709 date=1160334917]
    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67707#msg67707 date=1160334655]
    It's been 10 years since I've attempted and do not need meds all the time, only when I feel that I'm slipping into a depression.Â* The meds are there so suicide won't knock at my door again.Â* I realize that when I start slipping into the depression that I need treatment so that it won't get bad enough to want to die.Â* I know that abuse brought on my depression but it is a disease.Â* However, there are others that were abused just as badly as I (mine could have been a lot worse) that do not live with depression, so I think that I must have been predisposed to it.Â* And yes, sometimes events or abuse triggers it, just like smoking can cause cancer.Â* Â*Infliction, disease, same difference - you have to treat them both.
    [/quote]
    true...but think of how healthy a person may have been without the exposure to the trigger...I feel for you.Â* I hope you are better now or least experience LONG in-between periods of peace.Â* :-)
    [/quote]

    Thanks.  :-)

    I think about that every day.  I think about how different my health would be, my relationships, decisions etc. etc.  and I get pissed that it happened to me  .  But I can't change the past and can only move forward.  I do believe that people need to be educated about depression though and that there is a stigma that needs to be removed.  For instance, the parent who refuses to think that "anything is wrong" with their child or the person who is too embarrassed to get help.

  5. #55
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67719#msg67719 date=1160336851]
    [quote author=Snuff Junkie link=topic=1527.msg67709#msg67709 date=1160334917]
    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67707#msg67707 date=1160334655]
    It's been 10 years since I've attempted and do not need meds all the time, only when I feel that I'm slipping into a depression.Â* The meds are there so suicide won't knock at my door again.Â* I realize that when I start slipping into the depression that I need treatment so that it won't get bad enough to want to die.Â* I know that abuse brought on my depression but it is a disease.Â* However, there are others that were abused just as badly as I (mine could have been a lot worse) that do not live with depression, so I think that I must have been predisposed to it.Â* And yes, sometimes events or abuse triggers it, just like smoking can cause cancer.Â* Â*Infliction, disease, same difference - you have to treat them both.
    [/quote]
    true...but think of how healthy a person may have been without the exposure to the trigger...I feel for you.Â* I hope you are better now or least experience LONG in-between periods of peace.Â* :-)
    [/quote]

    Thanks.Â* Â*:-)

    I think about that every day.Â* I think about how different my health would be, my relationships, decisions etc. etc.Â* and I get pissed that it happened to meÂ* .Â* But I can't change the past and can only move forward.Â* I do believe that people need to be educated about depression though and that there is a stigma that needs to be removed.Â* For instance, the parent who refuses to think that "anything is wrong" with their child or the person who is too embarrassed to get help.
    [/quote]

    You are totally right.  The thing is, it's not whether your child IS thinking rationally or not, the only thing that matters is what THEY perceive.  I mean, they could very well be out of line for being depressed about breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on them or a bad test at school or whatever - but they still FEEL it.  They still perceive it in a way that a parent cannot.  And they WILL act on those feelings.  and a parent who refuses to believe it because it's "stupid to be depressed over a boyfriend" is 100% responsible for the outcome of their childs actions as a result of what they are feeling.  It's real. 

  6. #56
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=Snuff Junkie link=topic=1527.msg67882#msg67882 date=1160355460]
    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67719#msg67719 date=1160336851]
    [quote author=Snuff Junkie link=topic=1527.msg67709#msg67709 date=1160334917]
    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1527.msg67707#msg67707 date=1160334655]
    It's been 10 years since I've attempted and do not need meds all the time, only when I feel that I'm slipping into a depression.Â* The meds are there so suicide won't knock at my door again.Â* I realize that when I start slipping into the depression that I need treatment so that it won't get bad enough to want to die.Â* I know that abuse brought on my depression but it is a disease.Â* However, there are others that were abused just as badly as I (mine could have been a lot worse) that do not live with depression, so I think that I must have been predisposed to it.Â* And yes, sometimes events or abuse triggers it, just like smoking can cause cancer.Â* Â*Infliction, disease, same difference - you have to treat them both.
    [/quote]
    true...but think of how healthy a person may have been without the exposure to the trigger...I feel for you.Â* I hope you are better now or least experience LONG in-between periods of peace.Â* :-)
    [/quote]

    Thanks.Â* Â*:-)

    I think about that every day.Â* I think about how different my health would be, my relationships, decisions etc. etc.Â* and I get pissed that it happened to meÂ* .Â* But I can't change the past and can only move forward.Â* I do believe that people need to be educated about depression though and that there is a stigma that needs to be removed.Â* For instance, the parent who refuses to think that "anything is wrong" with their child or the person who is too embarrassed to get help.
    [/quote]

    You are totally right.Â* The thing is, it's not whether your child IS thinking rationally or not, the only thing that matters is what THEY perceive.Â* I mean, they could very well be out of line for being depressed about breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend who cheated on them or a bad test at school or whatever - but they still FEEL it.Â* They still perceive it in a way that a parent cannot.Â* And they WILL act on those feelings.Â* and a parent who refuses to believe it because it's "stupid to be depressed over a boyfriend" is 100% responsible for the outcome of their childs actions as a result of what they are feeling.Â* It's real.Â*
    [/quote]

    so true

  7. #57
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    Sometimes for people who arent used to a lot of painful things (like sheltered kids maybe?), they get shocked by reality if something bad happens. Other people just have no inspiration or motivation to live.
    and although some people will be strong and live for themselves, many people have a bad self-image and hate themselves.
    And somethings can be much worse to some people. like if someone passes away, one family member might say, oh well at least they dont suffer anymore, while another might flip out and get all no way they were my best friend I have no one in the world now! etc.
    It's very confusing.

  8. #58
    Senior Member MBPearls's Avatar
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    Depression IS a disease, and one that runs in my family.  My great-grandmother committed suicide, and had attempted dozens of times before she was finally successful.  My father admitted to me that he sat in a dark room with my grandfather's shotgun, and kept raising the barrel to his head (at the time he was undergoing chemotherapy, it was the middle of a nasty divorce from my mother, and he had always been depressed but his family told him to hide it because it was shameful).  I"ve been depressed my entire life, to the point I am physically in pain so bad that I want to die.

    Treatments don't work for everyone - I've tired dozens of meds, and they either leave me feeling disconnected, drowsy, or I can't sleep for weeks.  Therapy was nice to talk to someone, but a few hours after the appointment, I was back to feeling like shit.  And the best part?  I can hide it from anyone with a little effort.  No one at my current job has any idea that I have any troubles whatsoever, because I know that once anyone here finds anything out about it, they'll either think it's a joke or they'll just treat me... different.  When I told my last job, because I thought it was the "right" thing to do, I was treated vastly different, as though I was going to infect them all with something fatal.

    Sure, anyone can feel depression.  But there are many studies showing it can be inherited - just like my neuropathy, I was given a disease that will never be cured. 

  9. #59
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=MBPearls link=topic=1527.msg69671#msg69671 date=1160519369]
    Depression IS a disease, and one that runs in my family.Â* My great-grandmother committed suicide, and had attempted dozens of times before she was finally successful.Â* My father admitted to me that he sat in a dark room with my grandfather's shotgun, and kept raising the barrel to his head (at the time he was undergoing chemotherapy, it was the middle of a nasty divorce from my mother, and he had always been depressed but his family told him to hide it because it was shameful).Â* I"ve been depressed my entire life, to the point I am physically in pain so bad that I want to die.

    Treatments don't work for everyone - I've tired dozens of meds, and they either leave me feeling disconnected, drowsy, or I can't sleep for weeks.Â* Therapy was nice to talk to someone, but a few hours after the appointment, I was back to feeling like shit.Â* And the best part?Â* I can hide it from anyone with a little effort.Â* No one at my current job has any idea that I have any troubles whatsoever, because I know that once anyone here finds anything out about it, they'll either think it's a joke or they'll just treat me... different.Â* When I told my last job, because I thought it was the "right" thing to do, I was treated vastly different, as though I was going to infect them all with something fatal.

    Sure, anyone can feel depression.Â* But there are many studies showing it can be inherited - just like my neuropathy, I was given a disease that will never be cured.Â*
    [/quote]

    living with depression is so depressing . . . I know

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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    When I was a teenager I thought about suicide. Looking back I don't even know why. my life wasn't that bad.  I remember I went so far as to
    set a day to do it.  I am so glad that I didn't.  Not that getting up and going to work, paying bills and dealing with adult things is that great but there
    are so many things that were a big deal when I was 15 that I laugh about now.  I guess you need to be able to see the other side of the road,  some people young and old just can't see that far.

  11. #61
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    when I focus on others I forget about my pain so I understand why ppl go into the profession of counseling it makes sense, I am looking into hypnosis as a answer especially with ppl who have already tried to hurt themselves because chances are high they will attempt to do this again, a little bit of love goes along way and the world right now needs it badly

  12. #62
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    Re: Why? Oh Why? Oh Why?

    [quote author=ahdont link=topic=1527.msg51965#msg51965 date=1158589334]
    This post is reference to the various suicides that I see throughout this site. The biggest question I pose is why?

    I was young once...I was a troubled and rebellious teenager going through the usual paths a teen seems to take. I drank, smoked, partyed, and had my share of poor relationships and heartbreaks. My parents were taken suddenly from me at an early age. But you know what, I never once thought of taking my own life. But maybe I am different than other people. I am the kind of person that does not allow others to break my spirit. The paths I choose to follow are my paths and no one elses. I live life for me, because no matter what, I still will always be the most important person in my life.

    Again I ask why? What could be so bad? Walking in front of a train isn't the answer...jumping 20 stories to your death is not going to solve anything..it just poses more questions than it does give answers. And these people seem so selfish to do this...look at the absolute messes that they leave behind. It makes the parents of these teens ponder the validity of their own lives, and their own decisions as to how, why, and what.

    This is just a random shout out because crap like this really burns me. Validate your lives with progress, not regression. Regression just eats away at your soul. And look to others to confide in, namely your family first, and THEN your friends. And don't let your heart go black.

    If you put nothing into life, you will get nothing out of it. The past is the past, we are living in the present...and the future has not been written yet. Life will unfold in mysterious ways, but it is the paths that you choose that will determine how far you will go, and how successful you will become. Be you for you.

    Enough said.
    [/quote]beautiful yet saddening
    [quote author=eliot.eliot]God, this is why i love you..You're witty..almost too witty...[/quote][quote author=eliot.eliot]I'm putty in your hands.[/quote]

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