Page 71 of 72 FirstFirst ... 21 61 69 70 71 72 LastLast
Results 1,751 to 1,775 of 1779

Thread: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

  1. #1751
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    674
    Rep Power
    6811

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=cole0345 link=topic=1474.msg1694808#msg1694808 date=1281748556]
        I have been following the replies regarding Michelle Crawford. It is a sad story. I want to start at the beginning, with the first post, by her mother. I have tried to find the first posting. Can you tell me where to find the article? Thank you so much,
    [/quote]

    Hi, I'm Michelle's mom.  I just wanted to let you know that the first time I posted in her thread was on page 41.  I just now double-checked to be sure, and hope that helps you.  Thanks for letting me know she has touched your heart.

  2. #1752
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Sue- I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing Michelle's story. I suffer from borderline personality disorder, as well as crippling anxiety and depression. I just finished reading every page of this thread and feel that I can really relate to Michelle a lot; I wish I could have known her!
    What a beautiful person she was, inside and out.  :-)
    Hearing things from a mother's perspective has made me realize how much it would tear my own mother's heart apart if I were to decide to end my own life.
    There was a particular quote that triggered me to start crying. It was when you and Michelle embraced for a long time after she told you she wished she could be a kid again. I can't tell you how many times I've thought the exact same thing, and I hope to be more open with my mother about my troubles in the future. Just talking about it right now is making me tear up. 
    How lucky she must have been to have such a devoted and loving mother! Thank you for sharing all of the beautiful pictures and memories of Michelle.
    You and your daughter's story has touched me greatly and left a very positive impact. 

    RIP Michelle you vibrant, beautiful girl.    :2grin:


  3. #1753
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    674
    Rep Power
    6811

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=childofbean link=topic=1474.msg1696829#msg1696829 date=1282053633]
    Sue- I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing Michelle's story. I suffer from borderline personality disorder, as well as crippling anxiety and depression. I just finished reading every page of this thread and feel that I can really relate to Michelle a lot; I wish I could have known her!
    What a beautiful person she was, inside and out.  :-)
    Hearing things from a mother's perspective has made me realize how much it would tear my own mother's heart apart if I were to decide to end my own life.
    There was a particular quote that triggered me to start crying. It was when you and Michelle embraced for a long time after she told you she wished she could be a kid again. I can't tell you how many times I've thought the exact same thing, and I hope to be more open with my mother about my troubles in the future. Just talking about it right now is making me tear up. 
    How lucky she must have been to have such a devoted and loving mother! Thank you for sharing all of the beautiful pictures and memories of Michelle.
    You and your daughter's story has touched me greatly and left a very positive impact. 

    RIP Michelle you vibrant, beautiful girl.    :2grin:


    [/quote]

    It is good to know that Michelle's story has impacted you for the good.  Also very good to read that you're hoping to be able to be more open with your own Mom in the future, I know she will appreciate that, even if she doesn't have all the answers (none of us do, right?)  Wishing the best for you & your Mom.  :-)

  4. #1754

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Wow. Sue, I don't know how to articulate just how amazing I think you are. I have spent the last 2 days reading this thread cover to cover... what an amazing girl Michelle was and I can honestly say that when the time comes I hope that I am atleast half the mom you are. My mother suffers from severe depression and I have watched her struggle through ups and downs for years. In the back of my mind I always worry she is suffering silently. I think some people are put here to serve a purpose much deeper than SIMPLY living a life.. she has been gone years and in 2010 your daughter and her story have changed me forever. I guess if I make it my goal to change the lives of others in a positive way then Michelle is very much still alive in spirit and the world can continue to be a better place because she was a part of it. I just adore you and your family. XO

  5. #1755
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    103
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    First I want to say RIP Michelle and much admiration for her mother. So, to Sue, if you read this please do not be offended by the questions I ask about your daughter. It's evident she was truly a shining star and I just want to better understand her.

    I was wondering if any of you MDSers could help me out. I have spent the last two days reading live journal entries, myspace and all of the scattered back and forth (and sometimes deleted) posts and replies. I am completely confused. One thing was completely crystal clear and that is Michelle was a very intelligent lady who possessed a very fascinating way with words. I must admit, through some of this thread I did skip and scroll -- only when it came to the mindless chatter meant for another thread and arguing.

    Here's where my confusion lies; Michelle mentioned many times of her mania, anxiety and depression. Talks of how her hands shook at work, putting lids on the wrong containers and not having grasps on reality (grasp on reality article here http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=98172 ). It's clear she had mental health issues, that I don't question, however she was not crazy. She was funny, smart and just seemed like such a free spirit. Here's my question: Did she actually need these drugs or was she addicted to these drugs? Or, both? I ask this because reading through her entries she seemed to take anything she could get her hands on. From Adderoll  to Methadone. She claims to suffer from severe anxiety, but some of the drugs she was taking were not meant to treat anxiety and panic attacks. In fact, some could trigger and enhance them. She had a very detailed knowledge of medicines as I read her entries on side-effects. Why would someone who suffered from such anxiety takes drugs that could induce the situation? Yet never seemed to suffer an episode while she was on something, anything.

    Michelle was clearly in love with CJ, no question. Maybe I'm overlooking something, but she never gave any detailed information in her entries of time they spent together. Every now and then she would casually mention a Friday spent with him, but it didn't go much beyond that. Maybe I have missed or overlooked something? Maybe she was private in that aspect?  I read where Sue posted that Michelle does not blame CJ for her death, and that she has much more honor than that. I believe Sue and agree that everyone is responsible for their own actions. That said, her journal and myspace entries seem to imply, at least in part, that CJ was a playing factor in her emotional ups and downs. I would appreciate any enlightenment on Michelle. She's very interesting and truly had way more worth than she realized.     

    Again, my intent is not to cause any emotional disruption. I just want to understand more of a person I only wish I could have had the opportunity to meet. Sue, my love and thoughts to you.

  6. #1756
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    4
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    To Sue,  I was diagnosed with bi-polar about nine months ago. By chance I found Michelle's story. I was hooked on the thread, I just finished it. More to follow I hope. Your story of how her death inpacteded you, make me think that I can't take my life, because my 3 sons, my husband, grandchrildren would be devastated(spelling?). Mine is one life you saved. I WILL keep going to the doctor, ask questions, and talk to my family. My life may be hard, but I can't put my family through the pain you indured.
        I have no insurance, but I found a web site for free medication. That also helps me. But most of all thank you to Sue for Michelle's story, you and Michelle saved my life, and thank you to all the MDS members.....Thank you

    Here is the web site: www.partnershipforprescriptionassistance.com (again my spelling may be off )


  7. #1757
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    130
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    It's been so long now since this all happened but I can still feel the emotional impact of it all.
    Anyway, I'm still clambering through sobriety and trying to live my new life.
    I still believe in the vision I had of Michelle happy on the other side in heaven.
    I believe I will see her again one day.

  8. #1758
    Orig FUCKING MDS lesbian sogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    24,102
    Rep Power
    21474874

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    I hope you do cj.

  9. #1759

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Cj, you're amazing. You've been through alot. I'm 3 years sober and I know it's a beating, but you sorta give me hope. I'm not sure about the whole heaven thing, but I know there is something after we are gone and I think it's probably pretty rad. I think it's cool to think of you and Michelle wrapping up this epic love story there... You have the rest of forever "here" to put some positive energy back into the world and your way with words no doubt does that.

  10. #1760
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    23,188
    Rep Power
    1823386

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    I don't think anyone ever gets over a suicide of a loved one.  You just learn to cope.

  11. #1761
    Orig FUCKING MDS lesbian sogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    24,102
    Rep Power
    21474874

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1474.msg1703740#msg1703740 date=1282923319]
    I don't think anyone ever gets over a suicide of a loved one.  You just learn to cope.
    [/quote]

    Sudden tragic death, period. It is just harder to understand when they chose it. People put needless blame on themselves.

  12. #1762
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    130
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Bleeding Wheels on the Moon, the Makeshift Makings Spun too Soon

    Gushing tranquilty erosion

    with the misfits level

    achieved in between cornea and retina

    the brain received pri,mordial echoes

    that erupt into panic,

    older and older we go a rabbit

    and a fox and trilobite, none too bright

    having a barbeque in the sequestered

    suburban fester repro,duce until mongrels

    a traditional fest will dress the rest

    up into pretty human costumery

    what's with all the flummery

    you were made with age,

    not to be cag,ed in sterile rage,

    dance in the grand ballroom of love

    will upon will with the Lord above...

  13. #1763

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    It's just all so strange to me. I've had people that i've known commit suicide and it's just always so weird. Maybe it's weird because I have debated it before, but could never come close to finding the prowess inside myself to do it. It infuriates me when people say it's a "cowardly" thing to do... I think it's the polar opposite.
    I feel for those left behind, empathetic to say the least. I just understand what it feels like to be done.
    Then I think it's strange (personally) how certain people whom do it rattle my core. Michelle, Evian di Stephano... i'm jealous I never met them both. What a loss to the world.
    Cj, I read everything you write like 4 times before I stop holding my breath. I don't quite know what that means, but it's the truth. Do you have any idea what you plan to type before you type it, or does it just flow like that? It's cathartic.

  14. #1764
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    130
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    It is what it is.

  15. #1765
    Senior Member ApRyL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Hard On Pond
    Posts
    6,618
    Rep Power
    57427

    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    is there a link to Michelle's live journals some where?

  16. #1766
    strawberry thunda
    Guest

    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    http://tsyndra.livejournal.com/profile

  17. #1767
    Senior Member ApRyL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Hard On Pond
    Posts
    6,618
    Rep Power
    57427

    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=strawberry thunda link=topic=1474.msg1706616#msg1706616 date=1283274517]
    http://tsyndra.livejournal.com/profile
    [/quote]
    thanks Noob, now go to the new members thread and introduce yourself please
    So that I can decide to be nice to you or decide you suck.


  18. #1768
    Administrator Olivia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    26,939
    Rep Power
    21474876
    I saw a guest reading this thread and I decided to bump it. Michelle has been gone for 6 years.

  19. #1769
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    ballsacky USA
    Posts
    15,348
    Rep Power
    21474865
    i wonder about this thread sometimes and wonder how her mother is doing.

  20. #1770
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    17,559
    Rep Power
    21474862
    can you link to the og article? i feel like i read about this way back when, before i got a real job and stopped reading mds all the time. this thread seems to start abruptly, without links to the original postings.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  21. #1771
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    31,090
    Rep Power
    21474881
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  22. #1772
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DSM
    Posts
    26,181
    Rep Power
    21474876
    dammit, nd beat me to it.

    i think some of her threads were deleted due to dramz with her ex.

    i wonder about her mom. i watched 'the bridge' tonight and one of the jumpers was talking about taking (non prescribed) antidepressants that made him not sleep and amplified his suicidal thoughts. it didn't specify but i wondered if he was taking welbutrin.

  23. #1773
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    31,090
    Rep Power
    21474881
    I want to watch the Bridge but we're watching Master Chef.

    Is Welbutrin what Michelle was taking? I can't go back and look. Way too much html shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  24. #1774
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DSM
    Posts
    26,181
    Rep Power
    21474876
    yeah, if i remember correctly it's one of the things she had been prescribed and that her mom believed could have contributed. it's got a black box warning.

  25. #1775
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    17,559
    Rep Power
    21474862
    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    thank you!
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •