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Thread: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

  1. #1726
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=merdeath link=topic=1474.msg1522392#msg1522392 date=1264821097]
    xoxoxo.  You have change my life.

    That is very humbling, merdeath ... know that I think of you from time to time, and when you cross my mind, I do say a prayer for you. 

  2. #1727
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=sogs link=topic=1474.msg1522399#msg1522399 date=1264821531]
     
    [/quote]
    Right back @ you, my friend ... 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=Just Jenn link=topic=1474.msg1522445#msg1522445 date=1264826309]
    You have truly honored your daughters memory and I am sure she is proud of how you are finding strength out of such a tragic event.   
    [/quote]
    I definitely have to give God credit for the strength.  He picks me up every morning, and carries me through every day.  And I am so grateful for my other children.  We've become much closer, even more so of late.  I realize just how precious life is.  But it was definitely in my heart to honor my Michelle, so my thanks to Mike for allowing it to happen.  Hugs to you, Just Jenn. 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=butterflykim link=topic=1474.msg1522457#msg1522457 date=1264828251]
    i have to agree with you on this.
    sue, you are so amazing!
    [/quote]
    Thank you for your kindness to me throughout this journey.  I so much have always appreciated that from all the different ones who have shared things with me throughout all this time.  It means more to me than you know, knowing that Michelle's story has touched so many.

    I also came across a video in my Mom's things, that my brother had taped back in Nov. '88.  He had taped it to send to her, as she lived up north @ that time.  There was a lot of Michelle on it, and it is bittersweet to have it.  Finding it was a treasure that I could never put a price tag on.  She was so happy, and so sweet, and we all were having so much fun.  I'm so thankful that I have that now ... the ability to see her happy, once again.  That's definitely a wonderful thing, to hear/see her laughing, seeing our family all together close like that, feeling the love.  She had the most wonderful laugh, like she was just bursting with so much joy that she couldn't hold it in any more, and it's great to see that again.  I miss her, so, so much ... She was awesome, and I love her. 


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    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=Mom-eee link=topic=1474.msg1522573#msg1522573 date=1264856973]
    Thank you for your kindness to me throughout this journey.  I so much have always appreciated that from all the different ones who have shared things with me throughout all this time.  It means more to me than you know, knowing that Michelle's story has touched so many.

    I also came across a video in my Mom's things, that my brother had taped back in Nov. '88.  He had taped it to send to her, as she lived up north @ that time.  There was a lot of Michelle on it, and it is bittersweet to have it.  Finding it was a treasure that I could never put a price tag on.  She was so happy, and so sweet, and we all were having so much fun.  I'm so thankful that I have that now ... the ability to see her happy, once again.  That's definitely a wonderful thing, to hear/see her laughing, seeing our family all together close like that, feeling the love.  She had the most wonderful laugh, like she was just bursting with so much joy that she couldn't hold it in any more, and it's great to see that again.  I miss her, so, so much ... She was awesome, and I love her.   
    [/quote]

    It's good to see you again Sue.  You've been missed

  6. #1731
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=leapfreak link=topic=1474.msg1522586#msg1522586 date=1264859389]
    It's good to see you again Sue.  You've been missed
    [/quote]

    Thank you, hugs to you, also  Thank you for your heart for my Michelle 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    I still feel like Michelle is communicating with me at times.  Often through butterflies.  My spiritual journey really began with my wanting to have a sense of her well-being in the beyond.  Since then it's lead me to sobriety and a big change in my perspective.  I don't mean to minimize the tragedy of her death but somehow it lead me to grow as a person.  Death does come to us all and facing it is a part of life.

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    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=cj2006 link=topic=1474.msg1523010#msg1523010 date=1264891914]
    I still feel like Michelle is communicating with me at times.  Often through butterflies.  My spiritual journey really began with my wanting to have a sense of her well-being in the beyond.  Since then it's lead me to sobriety and a big change in my perspective.  I don't mean to minimize the tragedy of her death but somehow it lead me to grow as a person.  Death does come to us all and facing it is a part of life.
    [/quote]

    i'm so happy & proud for/of you, even though we do not know each other.  :-)
    i know that touches sue as well.
    i hope her story continues to touch people...forever.
    One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.

  9. #1734
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=Mom-eee link=topic=1474.msg1522565#msg1522565 date=1264855560]
    Right back @ you, my friend ...   
    [/quote]

    You really do amaze me.  I wish i could truly truly express what all your posts have meant to me. More than what I am capable of typing or speaking. 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=sogs link=topic=1474.msg1523196#msg1523196 date=1264907493]
    You really do amaze me.  I wish i could truly truly express what all your posts have meant to me. More than what I am capable of typing or speaking. 
    [/quote]

    I agree with you Sogs 100%.


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    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=butterflykim link=topic=1474.msg1523191#msg1523191 date=1264906975]
    i'm so happy & proud for/of you, even though we do not know each other.  :-)
    i know that touches sue as well.
    i hope her story continues to touch people...forever.
    [/quote]
    Yea, it's amazing how many people are affected by our every action.
    there's a lot of suffering in life and even when we all cooperate its hard but when we don't its hell.
    I don't think Michelle was a selfish or bad person in any way.  I think she lost hope and was sick.  She lashed out at me at the end but I probably would have done the same thing in her shoes.  She just wanted to know if someone cared.  She was in too much pain to realize that people did, I guess.
    I visited her grave again recently.  I wrote a little note with a picture of a butterfly on it and wrote: "Be free!"
    I think her spirit is free and happy just like I saw it after I prayed.
    Sometimes I feel free and happy. I've surrendered my life to a higher power.  But it takes a long time to change all the bad habits I had in the past.
    However, I owe a lot of people an amends.  And I'm sorry that I lashed out at people in the past.  If anyone wants something of me to make it right let me know.

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    As incredible as it seems, this next Wed. will mark 4 yrs. since Michelle passed.  I'm not looking for, nor really wanting, a reply from anyone on this post, but just as an update as to how life continues without her ... for the sake of those who will continue to read her story:

    I did get to watch her again this morning on that video I mentioned a few posts back ... again, I was struck by her sense of humor, her contagious laughter, her sparkling eyes, and I miss her still ... Again, bittersweet to have it ... but now it is mostly just the sweet part, the thankful, grateful heart that remembers her in happier times of her life ...

    Her 'baby' sister is going to have a baby of her own next month, and it definitely brings back memories of my own pregnancy when I carried my Michelle ... like it was just last week, or something. 

    Again, it's my heart's desire to change another life, hopefully even lives, this perspective from one left behind. 

    I don't recall if I ever posted this thing in particular ever before, but I feel now's the time:

    I once had a dream in which I saw Michelle (there are still lots of those, but this one in particular never left me), and she said this to me, "If I had known it would have hurt you this much, I never would have done it."  And I know that to be true ... she was awesome like that    But that is not enough comfort, as the time goes by, and I know that she will never be back ...


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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    congrats to you and your daughter on her baby and your grandbaby.

    im happy to see you. 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=miss*chelle*chelle link=topic=1474.msg1645612#msg1645612 date=1276361419]
    As incredible as it seems, this next Wed. will mark 4 yrs. since Michelle passed.  I'm not looking for, nor really wanting, a reply from anyone on this post, but just as an update as to how life continues without her ... for the sake of those who will continue to read her story:

    I did get to watch her again this morning on that video I mentioned a few posts back ... again, I was struck by her sense of humor, her contagious laughter, her sparkling eyes, and I miss her still ... Again, bittersweet to have it ... but now it is mostly just the sweet part, the thankful, grateful heart that remembers her in happier times of her life ...

    Her 'baby' sister is going to have a baby of her own next month, and it definitely brings back memories of my own pregnancy when I carried my Michelle ... like it was just last week, or something. 

    Again, it's my heart's desire to change another life, hopefully even lives, this perspective from one left behind. 

    I don't recall if I ever posted this thing in particular ever before, but I feel now's the time:

    I once had a dream in which I saw Michelle (there are still lots of those, but this one in particular never left me), and she said this to me, "If I had known it would have hurt you this much, I never would have done it."  And I know that to be true ... she was awesome like that    But that is not enough comfort, as the time goes by, and I know that she will never be back ...


    [/quote]

      a symptom of depression is feeling that the ones you love are better off without you.  I know Michelle never meant to hurt you.

  15. #1740
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Sue,

    You are seriously one of the most amazing people I have ever run across. A week doesn't go by that I don't think of you.

    Your dream is true.

    If you need a friend you know where to find me 


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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=FemmeFatality link=topic=1474.msg1645666#msg1645666 date=1276364367]
      a symptom of depression is feeling that the ones you love are better off without you.  I know Michelle never meant to hurt you.
    [/quote]

    I know you're right about that, Femme, and I don't know why I said that this morning, that it's not enough comfort.  It really is a huge comfort, because like I said ... Michelle was awesome like that.  Very loving, very caring, very generous with herself.  Knowing her heart like that has been a rock for me, she was indeed a very self-less person, and I love her deeply.  So I need to take back my words.  I guess I was just feeling a little overwhelmed, feeling the loss of her.  Thanks for the hug, right back at you, my friend. 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=ZoMyGoddess! link=topic=1474.msg1645615#msg1645615 date=1276361668]
    congrats to you and your daughter on her baby and your grandbaby.

    im happy to see you. 
    [/quote]

    Thank you so much!    Life does indeed go on, thankfully.  We're all indeed very excited about his arrival next month!  (We know it's a boy, he's already been named ... Connor Daniel.  I know he will indeed bring us a lot of joy!  :-)

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=sogs link=topic=1474.msg1645683#msg1645683 date=1276365222]
    Sue,

    You are seriously one of the most amazing people I have ever run across. A week doesn't go by that I don't think of you.

    Your dream is true.

    If you need a friend you know where to find me 


    [/quote]

    Be blessed, my dear friend.    You can be sure I will be in touch from time to time, thank you for your offer. 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    [quote author=miss*chelle*chelle link=topic=1474.msg1645612#msg1645612 date=1276361419]
    As incredible as it seems, this next Wed. will mark 4 yrs. since Michelle passed.  I'm not looking for, nor really wanting, a reply from anyone on this post, but just as an update as to how life continues without her ... for the sake of those who will continue to read her story:

    I did get to watch her again this morning on that video I mentioned a few posts back ... again, I was struck by her sense of humor, her contagious laughter, her sparkling eyes, and I miss her still ... Again, bittersweet to have it ... but now it is mostly just the sweet part, the thankful, grateful heart that remembers her in happier times of her life ...

    Her 'baby' sister is going to have a baby of her own next month, and it definitely brings back memories of my own pregnancy when I carried my Michelle ... like it was just last week, or something. 

    Again, it's my heart's desire to change another life, hopefully even lives, this perspective from one left behind. 

    I don't recall if I ever posted this thing in particular ever before, but I feel now's the time:

    I once had a dream in which I saw Michelle (there are still lots of those, but this one in particular never left me), and she said this to me, "If I had known it would have hurt you this much, I never would have done it."  And I know that to be true ... she was awesome like that    I used to cry every time I woke up after having had a dream of her ... but like I said before, God has indeed continued to strengthen me, and for that I am indeed thankful.


    [/quote]

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Silly me, I have no idea how to edit a post, so I know I got it wrong, but it's what I wanted to say ... RIP, my beautiful Michelle. 

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    Re: Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Oh miss*chelle*chelle, i didn't know what to say but i can't read your posts without commenting.  I think your dream is very true. I also know Michelles story has changed lives, 88 pages later and we still come together to hear your stories and see the photos of your beautiful daughter, and, like Sogs and many others, not much time goes by where i don't think of you and your courage and strength.

    And congrats to your family, the baby will be very lucky to have a grandma like you!

    My love as always 

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

        I have been following the replies regarding Michelle Crawford. It is a sad story. I want to start at the beginning, with the first post, by her mother. I have tried to find the first posting. Can you tell me where to find the article? Thank you so much,

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

        I am new to this site and have been following Michelle's story. As you hoped she has touched my heart. I would like to read the atricles from start to finish. Would you please tell me how to find the first post you put up? I have looked everywhere. Thank you for your time, and mostly thank you for shareing Michelle's life with me.

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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    i'm pretty sure the original thread was deleted due to drama with her ex, cj.  i think this is all that remains, not sure why there is no link to the article...  sorry i'm not more help.

  25. #1750
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    Re: Michelle Crawford - Suicide #63

    Here's her article - http://mydeathspace.com/article/2006/09/10/Michelle_Crawford_(29)_committed_suicide,_but_the_ method_is_undetermined

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