Upset about this site? Why?

[iamspacemilk]

I found this site by mistake while trying to find a memorial site for someone I cared about.

I spent a good amount of time looking at and reading about these people who have passed on. I wondered about their lives and hoped they had been happy while they were here. I didn't feel like anything was a joke or degrading. I didn't read through everything of course, but what I read seemed informative and a way for people to read about their loved ones and look at their Myspace pages and remember them in life.

I've had some people very close to me pass on, so I am senstive to this issue. My questions is why are people so upset about this site? I haven't read through much of it, but it seems to be informative and well wishing on the main pages with obits. I guess I feel like I have a soc sec number and credit card numbers, so why would I be offended about my own Mydeathspace number?

I've barely looked at the forums. I'm sure there are good and bad things said, some people can be very unsensitive. But this can happen verbally when someone dies as well.

I don't mean to be an ass, but I'm sincerely confused and would like to hear any comments anyone may have about the uproar this site is creating.

I don't mean to offend anyone with this question, and if you are reading this and on this site because you lost someone dear to you, please accept my deepest condolences.

[Solara23]

I think the reason people were getting uspset was because of the "comments" section.  It used to be that anyone could anonymously post comments that would appear directly below the entry under "latest deaths."  Well, the comments were getting pretty disrespectful, and off-topic.  It seems those of us who actually take the time to register and post have more intelligent things to say, and the problem has been corrected.  You still have the occasional asshole, but it's really calmed down. 

[iamspacemilk]

Thanks, I understand.

I looked at some of the forum comments about individuals who have passed, and well...i felt better before reading them and I dont think I will go there again.

I hope this site helps America get more real about death so it can be discussed rather than feared. Maybe this site can help celebrate these individuals while they were here. I actually think it could help.

[M_Sinistrari]

Sorry if this rambles a bit.

Death's always been a touchy subject, and the more distanced one is from it, that increases.

We have a culture of sanitizing it while innately we're still mystified by it.  Just look at the amount of rubbernecking when there's an accident on the road.  Deny it as we do, we still want to see the blood.  For those who work in the funerary business, those who deal directly with the embalming make very good money because it's a job not everyone can do.

It's one I've been looking into since I know eventually the stresses in my current job will eventually get to me and with the amounts of death in my family, the mortians (sp?) we've dealt with made such an impression on me as a child with how they were with still keeping a sense of humour and all, I know it's a job I could handle.

Add to this our fear of our mortality.  We know we're all going to die, but do everything we can to stave that off, yet when someone our age or younger passes, we feel that mortality like a weight around the neck.

So, we try to distance ourselves from what's going to be inevitiable.  Sites like this that are pretty matter of fact can be upsetting despite the fact that they're rather honest.  The link to the myspace page is up which is something anyone can access, news articles reporting are linked and quoted which also anyone can access, but the fact that this is all pretty much public record that anyone can see and comment on somehow gets missed by some who really are distanced by the reality.

Add to this on how some do pass on, it's hard to deal with a suicide or that a friend was capable of murder and many a time we won't have the answers and we're left confused.  Understandably lashing out is a common reaction when a site like this or something like ogrish is found especially when coupled with the aforesaid confusion.

[fiznay]

There are so many people who do not want to deal with the reality that we all will die and some of us will die tragically. But the good thing is we will be remembered by those who loved and knew us. We don't know from one minute to the next if we will survive but it's all about living and not regreting one moment of our life here. Any amount of time we have to laugh smile and enjoy others is a blessing. I can understand how some might be upset from reading about young people losing their lives, but it's a part of life we just can't avoid. I cherish the memories and that's what keeps me sensible about the whole ordeal of death. If you think about the good times the tears will be because there will be no more times to spend together. I have lost a lot of young cousins but I am glad to have known them. I am grateful everytime I had a chance to talk to them, laugh with them and see them smile. That is so important. I hope anyone who has loss someone dear to them can get something out of what I wrote and take it to heart.

[TraptJuggalette]

I don't think this is that bad of a site but I personally would not want my family members or friends on it if they died just because of how harshly some people judge these people who have died. But then again I don't know why it would really bother me because if you didn't know the person when they were alive then how can you talk shit about them now that they're dead? Some people make really hurtful comments and sometimes I really hope that no family members or friends ever come across some of the comments because some of you guys are very harsh.

[soggyshoes]

[quote author=Cruisin in the Cutlass link=topic=1314.msg48206#msg48206 date=1158181746]
I don't think this is that bad of a site but I personally would not want my family members or friends on it if they died just because of how harshly some people judge these people who have died. But then again I don't know why it would really bother me because if you didn't know the person when they were alive then how can you talk shit about them now that they're dead? Some people make really hurtful comments and sometimes I really hope that no family members or friends ever come across some of the comments because some of you guys are very harsh.
[/quote]

I honestly wouldn't want anyone I cared about on here either. I wouldn't care to have harsh speculation. However, since I wouldn't like it about MY loved (yes hypocritical) ones, I certainly would not come here if they were here.

So I am with ya. That's my point. But If I die y'all can put me here and bash the hell outta me. I don't care. Hell bash me now. :)

[holly]

Hmm.. If someone that were close to me died in a tragic way, I'd definately put them on here.  For the most part, the people here aren't very harsh to the car accident victims (unless the driver that died was drunk), murder victims, etc.  I could actually see using this as a support for losing someone I cared about due to a situation such as those.  Now, if someone I were close to died doing some sort of jackass stunt, I don't think I'd submit them.  If they did get submitted by someone else, I simply wouldn't read the threads related to them.  Everyone on here would be free to speak their opinion about their idiotic actions, I just wouldn't need to see it.

[TheGumOnYourShoe]

If one of my friends died in some really uncommon off the wall crazy way, id put them on here... and i keep telling one of my friends that if i die in a weird crazy way i want them to put me on here, because i crave attention..

look at me, everyone...

[number9]

i think once you become an adult your concept of death changes a lot. for me anyway.
maybe just out of the self-involved teenage box.
when i see my parents aging and i see my baby sister grow up and get married, when relatives start to die... i don't know.
no one should be afraid of dying. it's coming for all of us.
i would think it's harder to lose a loved one than to die yourself.
i love MDS but not everyone's like me.
i agree with Solara23, the posters here really don't give anyone much to be upset about.Â*

if someone i know died with a myspace i would put it on here. i had a close childhood friend commit suicide about 4 yrs ago.