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Thread: Florida man arrested for masturbating with a pickle on private property

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    Florida man arrested for masturbating with a pickle on private property

    https://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri...eve-story.html

    One Florida man found himself in a pickle.

    Well actually, he was arrested for masturbating on private property, which included inserting a pickle, The Smoking Gun reports.

    Eric Detiege, 47, of Tampa, was charged Sunday with exposure of sexual organs for the unappetizing display, according to the arrest affidavit obtained by the outlet.

    The arresting officer was at the time responding to reports of a suspicious person.

    He ultimately found Detiege on private premises 'lying flat on his back, no pants or undergarments on his bottom half,' according to the document.

    Detiege, according to the affidavit, 'had his penis in one hand and a large uneaten pickle in his other hand' and 'was using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.'

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    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    Florida. Enough said.
    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't have a thousand dollars hanging around to buy a fart in a jar lol.

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    I wonder if it was a sweet gherkin or a dill?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    I wonder if it was a sweet gherkin or a dill?
    Maybe he likes and sweet and sour and goes for bread and butter pickles.

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    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Dill is the only kind of pickle, in my opinion. But I choose to eat them, and I am strict with that.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
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    I've only seen bread and butter pickles in slices. That'd be some serious dedication getting semi flacid sliced pickles into your anus during a voyeristic fueled masturbation session. However, if that's the case, this young man is an expert at multitasking and I'd consider hiring him. Of course, I'd have to seriously restrict his access to the employee lounge's refrigerator and kitchen area.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    I've only seen bread and butter pickles in slices. That'd be some serious dedication getting semi flacid sliced pickles into your anus during a voyeristic fueled masturbation session. However, if that's the case, this young man is an expert at multitasking and I'd consider hiring him. Of course, I'd have to seriously restrict his access to the employee lounge's refrigerator and kitchen area.
    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Vlasic-Br...z-Jar/10308869
    Vlasic Bread & Butter Pickles, Sweet Pickle Spears, 24 Oz Jar


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    Never saw those before. They still look like they'd be semi-flacid and difficult "jamming material." I have to admit, I never really thought about putting a pickle in my butt until I saw this thread. Not that I'm thinking about it now. I mean I thought about it but I have no interest in committing to the act. It's like thinking about killing my neighbor when their AC unit kicks on at 3am. I've said it, but I never have.... yet. The day is young and the store is only a mile away - the gun store that is, not the grocery store. That's two miles away. I could kill two birds with one stone.

    Shopping list:

    Pickles
    Bullets
    Paper towels

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    With today's hypersensitivity, I should probably state that I'm kidding and I am not going to shoot, nor injure, anyone nor put a pickle in my butt. I respect the sanctity of life and pickles...

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    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    With today's hypersensitivity, I should probably state that I'm kidding and I am not going to shoot, nor injure, anyone nor put a pickle in my butt. I respect the sanctity of life and pickles...
    It's okay if you say your going to do it "in minecraft"

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    Never saw those before. They still look like they'd be semi-flacid and difficult "jamming material." I have to admit, I never really thought about putting a pickle in my butt until I saw this thread. Not that I'm thinking about it now. I mean I thought about it but I have no interest in committing to the act. It's like thinking about killing my neighbor when their AC unit kicks on at 3am. I've said it, but I never have.... yet. The day is young and the store is only a mile away - the gun store that is, not the grocery store. That's two miles away. I could kill two birds with one stone.

    Shopping list:

    Pickles
    Bullets
    Paper towels
    Meh, you're not in Florida. It just wouldn't be the same.

    ETA: I like that "on private property" can refer to the land OR the location of the body in this case
    Last edited by raisedbywolves; 03-24-2021 at 12:24 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DevilzAdvocate View Post
    I've only seen bread and butter pickles in slices. That'd be some serious dedication getting semi flacid sliced pickles into your anus during a voyeristic fueled masturbation session. However, if that's the case, this young man is an expert at multitasking and I'd consider hiring him. Of course, I'd have to seriously restrict his access to the employee lounge's refrigerator and kitchen area.
    OMG, I never realized that he was practicing a job skill.

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