YouTube Star Landon Clifford Dead at 19

[up2trouble]

https://www.instagram.com/camandfam/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq3...vMnltjwqWuB5bQ

https://toofab.com/2020/08/25/landon...d-fam-youtube/

Popular YouTuber Landon Clifford has passed away at the age of 19.

His wife, Camryn, revealed the news on Instagram this week, sharing a photo of him in a hospital bed while in a coma.

"August 13th 2020 was Landon's last day being the best dad and husband he could be," she captioned the post. "After spending the following 6 days in a coma he passed on and donated several organs to people in need all over the country. He died saving the lives of others. That's the type of person he was."

"Compassionate, loving, thoughtful, kind, and gentle. He was an amazing husband and the best father those girls could of ever asked for," she continued. "It saddens me deeply that they will never get to truly know him. He was so young and had so much more life to live. This isn't how things were supposed to go. He was meant to make it to his next birthday. He was meant to walk his daughters down the [aisle]. He was meant to die old with me."

"Words can not come close to describe the pain I feel. All I can do now is make sure our girls know how much he loved us," she concluded. "He's looking down on us from heaven and his light will shine through the clouds when we look up at him. May he rest peacefully."

Landon and Camryn documented their family life on the popular YouTube channel Cam& Fam, which had nearly 1.3 million subscribers.

The two are parents to daughters College Briar, 2, and newborn Delilah Rose.

[Nic B]

It is crazy to me how someone can be so young and married with 2 kids. I know it's not super rare or anything, but when I was 19 I wasn't even close to that point in my life.

I am curious to know how he passed.

Edited to add: I see people commenting on instagram that he died from a brain injury, but no one will say how he got that brain injury. Hm.

[Nic B]

Okay, so I was doing some digging and someone commented that it was suicide, and that his dad posted it on Facebook. I have no idea what his dad's name is so I can't even search for his FB. Anyone know? I tried looking for an obit hoping it would mention his name but didn't even find that.

I am so frustrated!

[Nic B]

I saw something that said it was an OD that basically left him brain dead, so there's that.

Yeah I figured either OD or hanging, something that left him without oxygen for a while as he was in a coma and she would only say "brain injury".

[up2trouble]

https://www.gofundme.com/f/landon-cl...K97rgIMHzgmq44

Mom - https://www.facebook.com/kelli.a.clifford

Dad - https://www.facebook.com/chad.clifford.9

[Nic B]

https://www.gofundme.com/f/landon-cl...K97rgIMHzgmq44

Mom - https://www.facebook.com/kelli.a.clifford

Dad - https://www.facebook.com/chad.clifford.9

So, overdose. Wonder if it was intentional?

[curiouscat]

It is crazy to me how someone can be so young and married with 2 kids. I know it's not super rare or anything, but when I was 19 I wasn't even close to that point in my life.

I am curious to know how he passed.

Edited to add: I see people commenting on instagram that he died from a brain injury, but no one will say how he got that brain injury. Hm.

Yeah. I definitely wasn't interested in marriage and kids at 19. I bet he knocked her up so they had to get married and somehow they managed to turn it into YouTube fame.

[KimTisha]

Yeah. I definitely wasn't interested in marriage and kids at 19. I bet he knocked her up so they had to get married and somehow they managed to turn it into YouTube fame.

I was married and pregnant at the age of twenty. I wouldn't recommend it, it's a hard way to start adulting. By the time the marriage ended less than a year later, I was pregnant again.

I'm not a fan of mommy/family vloggers, but I watched a couple of minutes of their YT channel and they seem really sweet. This looks like a close family, this is going to be very difficult on everyone. Rest in peace, Landon...

[Nic B]

I was married and pregnant at the age of twenty. I wouldn't recommend it, it's a hard way to start adulting. By the time the marriage ended less than a year later, I was pregnant again.

I'm not a fan of mommy/family vloggers, but I watched a couple of minutes of their YT channel and they seem really sweet. This looks like a close family, this is going to be very difficult on everyone. Rest in peace, Landon...

Yeah I am glad I was able to go out and party when I was younger. For some people that isn't their idea of fun and they prefer to start a family, and more power to them. It just wasn't for me.

I never heard of this family either, I don't follow any youtube stuff. Very curious to know if Landon had issues with drugs or if this was a one time suicide thing. Very sad.

[curiouscat]

Yeah I am glad I was able to go out and party when I was younger. For some people that isn't their idea of fun and they prefer to start a family, and more power to them. It just wasn't for me.

I never heard of this family either, I don't follow any youtube stuff. Very curious to know if Landon had issues with drugs or if this was a one time suicide thing. Very sad.

I'm reading a book called "The Bright Side of Going Dark". It's a fiction book, but it resonates with this YouTube/ Instagram generation. The main character first started her account to grow her yoga business, but as she stayed getting more popular and the money started rolling in, the more fake her life became for likes. Maybe, this is what happened to Landon and he could no longer enjoy being a family man. *shrugs*

[curiouscat]

I had zero interest in having kids (still do despite everyone telling me I would regret it), but I got married at 17. Still married to the same person. Different strokes for different folks, but I will also say that having 2 kids by that age does seem majorly overwhelming to me.

Yeah. Don't listen to those people. Diaper changes, sleepless nights, tantrums, where's the fun in all that crap?!

[Nic B]

It's not even that. I just have no desire to be a parent. Neither does my husband. We've been told how selfish we are, but I can't think of anything less selfish than not having an unwanted kid just to please society. I also don't want to contribute to overpopulation, or pass on my horrible genes. I support people having kids and being good parents; I also support people not having kids if they don't want them or can't be a good parent. The only people I have issue with are the ones that have them for all the wrong reasons and/or don't take care of them after they are here.

It's way more accepted today to not have kids, but almost 30 years ago it was pretty much unheard of for a married couple to not want kids. We got a ton of flack for it from everyone.

Agreed. I knew for a while I never wanted to have a kid of my own....I didn't want the pregnancy, giving birth, diapers, etc. I always figured if anything, I would rather adopt a young child. I lucked out with my husband having 2 kids already when I met him.

My dad still bugs me about having kids of my own...I think it bugs him that all 3 of his daughters have no interest in having kids.

[KimTisha]

It's not even that. I just have no desire to be a parent. Neither does my husband. We've been told how selfish we are, but I can't think of anything less selfish than not having an unwanted kid just to please society. I also don't want to contribute to overpopulation, or pass on my horrible genes. I support people having kids and being good parents; I also support people not having kids if they don't want them or can't be a good parent. The only people I have issue with are the ones that have them for all the wrong reasons and/or don't take care of them after they are here.[/B]

The whole "selfish" thing infuriates me. My mother says this about my daughter and niece; they are "selfish" for not having children. WTF does that even mean? How did having children when you don't want them become some kind of "selfless" act? I was very career oriented and never planned to have children, both were conceived when I was on the pill. When I was 23, I had my tubes tied; not easy to do in 1981 - I was single and had to get a man's permission!). I may have tried to avoid pregnancy, but the Universe had other plans for me and I don't regret it for a second. My [now adult] children are amazing and they have blessed my life in ways too numerous to mention. I don't, however, think that childless couples are missing out, and I sure as feck don't think they're selfish.

[up2trouble]

YouTuber Camryn Clifford Posts Heartbreaking Video Revealing How Husband Landon, 19, Died

"If you are easily triggered, I wouldn't watch this video," said Camryn before opening up about addiction, depression and suicide.

YouTuber Camryn Clifford posted a nearly 37-minute video, in which she revealed how her husband, 19-year-old Landon Clifford, died earlier this month.

Camryn, whose Cam&Fam YouTube channel has 1.35 million subscribers, first revealed Landon died earlier this week, but didn't initially share any details other than confirming he had been in a coma before his death.

In a video shared to her channel on Thursday, which has already been viewed over 1.1 million times, Clifford tearfully recounted her husband's struggle with anxiety, depression and ADHD, before explaining how she found him in their garage, having hung himself, on August 13.

"This is definitely going to be the hardest video I've ever had to make," she began. "It took a while for me to obviously get over the initial shock and to just gather my feelings and my thoughts and to feel like I'm ready to tell his story. It's a very important story to be hold and it's my job to tell it, but it's not an easy story to tell, at all."

While Camryn said she has always been open with her battles with anxiety and depression, Landon would "hardly" share his with anyone, including his family or friends.

"Behind the scenes, he was always just kind of going through his own stuff," she said. "He has had mental health issues for as long as I have known him."

According to Camryn, Landon started falling into depression when she got pregnant with the couple's second child, Delilah -- though she doesn't believe there was a correlation between the baby and his mental health.

"Many factors just kind of contributed to the fact his mental health wasn't great," she said, explaining he went to a psychiatrist and got back on ADHD medication, anti-depressants and anxiety meds.

Camryn said her husband "did the right thing" by finding help, but fell into a pattern of highs and lows as he started abusing the meds. "He fell into a hole," she said, calling it "a very, very vicious cycle" that was "very unhealthy."

When their second daughter was born, the two were "both really happy" for a short time, but "it hit us really hard" when they started adjusting to having two kids. The two decided to take a break from YouTube -- with Camryn calling it "mentally exhausting" to keep filming videos where everything appeared happy -- and he went to stay with his family to work on getting off the drugs and work on his mental health.

Things started looking up when they reunited and got into a healthier routine. But, on August 13, everything changed.

While Landon "seemed like he was having a good day," Camryn could tell "something was wrong" that evening. "He said he was sorry for everything he put me through. It was really hard on me when I was pregnant and he was heavy in his addiction and he wasn't himself during that time and he was apologizing to me for everything," she said.

"I could tell he was putting a lot of blame on himself. I talked to him, I told him that I loved him and I forgave him and things were different now," she continued. "I gave him a hug, a kiss and I told him I love him and that it's okay and that no matter what he ever did, I would always love him and be here for him. After that he seemed okay."

Landon said he was going to take a break -- something which was part of his daily routine -- but after 30 minutes, he hadn't returned. Camryn said she searched the entire house for him, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Then I went into the garage and when I opened the garage I saw him, he had hung himself and he didn't look alive," she said. "He was very pale and I was in so much shock. It took me a second to realize that it was actually happening. I ran to the kitchen, I grabbed a knife and I cut him down."

She called 9-1-1, but didn't feel a pulse. "I knew in that moment that he was gone," she said. "There is no words to describe how I felt at that time."

Paramedics were able to get a pulse and brought him to the hospital, where he remained in a coma and was declared braindead. Camryn and his family then said their goodbyes. Before his death, Landon decided to donate his organs -- with Camryn remarking, "even in death he was caring for other people"

"There was no note, no explanation, but I know him very well. I'll never truly know the answer, but I know Landon and I know he was not thinking rationally," she continued. "He's a very impulsive person and he does things without thinking. I think he felt guilty about how everything has gone for the past year and I think he just felt like a burden and we'd be better off without him, which is so far from the truth."

"I know that if he would have thought about it, he would have thought about the fact I'd be the one to find him and he would have thought about all the hurt he would cause me and he would have thought about his daughters growing up with him," said Camryn through tears. "He wouldn't have done it, if he would have thought about it more, because he's such a loving, compassionate person. The last thing he would want is for any of us to feel this way."

Camryn said she was telling this story so people out there could hear "what comes after" someone takes their life.

"I know, deep down, that you care about your loved ones, I know Landon did and you need to think about that before you do it, think about who's gonna have to find you," she said. "Think about everyone who loves you."

"He just had so much more life to live."

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.

[up2trouble]

YouTuber Camryn Clifford Details Struggle of Raising Two Daughters After Husband's Suicide

https://toofab.com/2020/11/13/youtub...sband-suicide/

Camryn Clifford opened up about her life two months after the shocking death of her husband, Landon Clifford.

In a new video posted on Thursday entitled "Life After Losing My Husband," the YouTube star, 19, revealed how she and her two daughters -- Collette Briar, two, and Delilah Rose, 5 months -- are coping with the loss of Landon, who died by suicide at the age of 19 after struggling with anxiety and depression.

"My life is completely different from the one that I lived with Landon, and I'm going to miss that life because I loved my life with him, even though it wasn't always perfect," Camryn began. "But I'm just learning to love my new life because I still have a life and my daughters still have a whole life to live."

She explained that she and the girls moved in with her mom a few days after Landon's funeral and are now temporarily living with her sister until they find something more permanent.

"Obviously this has been the hardest time and trying to cope with the loss of the love of my life while taking care of two kids -- there's days where it is so hard to get out of bed sometimes," she continued. "But Delilah needs to eat. And Collette is asking me to make her pancakes and someone has to do it. And in times like that, I am really thankful for my sister."

The help she receives from her family only makes Camryn realize how much Landon gave of himself.

"It really makes me appreciate all that Landon did for us," she said with tears in her eyes. "He was so helpful, he loved being a dad out of everything. Like he just really loved being a dad. He was so good at it."

On August 13, Camryn found Landon barely alive after hanging himself in their garage. He was taken to a hospital, declared brain dead and remained in a coma until his death. Now the teenage mom struggles with the idea of having to eventually discuss his absence to the girls.

"Collette is still really young and can't fully comprehend the situation," she explained. "All she really knows is that her dad's gone. One day he's here, one day he's not. She has no idea where he went."

"She's too young to explain that to, even if I tried. One day, that's a conversation I'm gonna have with her but as of right now, she just doesn't get it. For the most part, she doesn't really ask about him until there's something that reminds her."

Camryn went on to reveal how Collette will point to a picture of Landon and say "daddy." The eldest daughter also gets confused, according to Camryn, by her Build-a-Bear that features a recording of Landon's voice.

"She'll click the button and it'll say, 'I Love You, Collette,' in his voice and she knows his voice and she'll say, 'Daddy?' She'll look around."

She added, "You can definitely tell she's going through a hard time, though. She used to be very independent and since he left, she is very clingy to me and very anxious and is almost in a way that she thinks I'm just going to up and leave her too."

As for how she is coping herself, Camryn has taken up painting, exercising, and writing poetry. But speaking with mental health professionals has been the most successful.

"Obviously I've been going to therapy," she shared. "That is something that has helped a lot. I go once a week and then I also have a grief support group that I go to once a week. It's just a room full of people who've lost someone special to them and we all just kind of lean on each other."

"And it's really good to hear that the way I'm grieving is normal," she continued. "Everyone grieves so differently, but for someone to be talking about the way they feel and to relate to that and understand how it feels, it's really helpful, especially when someone says something and I'm like, 'Oh, I thought I was alone in that feeling.'"

She ended the video by letting her listeners know that they can overcome any hardship thrown their way.

"It's not the end of the world," she said. "You know, that's always been the message I wanted to share on here is that no matter how bad things get matter, how horrible it all seems, no matter how overwhelming it is, there's a light at the end of the tunnel."

"You can get through it and it's not for nothing -- it's growth."

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.

[Nic B]

"She'll click the button and it'll say, 'I Love You, Collette,' in his voice and she knows his voice and she'll say, 'Daddy?' She'll look around."