Give one or get one and report back.Originally Posted by Ron_NYC
Which end of the BJ am I on? I've probably tried this already. You don't know where I've been, Lou.
And don't act so high & mighty. We all know YOU'VE been having unprotected sex.
And yeah, I have unprotected sex with my bf that I've been with for 4 years and we're both tested every year. If you think I'm acting high and mighty because I won't give someone with AIDS a bj, I think I can deal with that.
Kbass I get tested every year too. I also did when I was married. Takes one night of indiscretion (I think that's the word) to fuck up your life with getting something.
i never said you cannot get aids from a bj. i said, it's nearly impossible, barring a certain set of circumstances.
over the course of the disease, 30 years or more, there have only been a handful of 'confirmed' cases of oral transmission, and these all rely on self reporting of risk, which is, in itself, questionable.
the point that i was trying to make is that it can be harmful to present misleading information. while it may be true that it is possible, it is not probable that most people giving a blow job will be infected that way. the belief of hiv educators, is that by demonizing the one sexual behavior that presents a very insignificant risk can leave people feeling powerless to practice safer sex and lead to greater harm. if you present people with options, they are likely to choose the safest option if it is still gratifying to them.
i was saying - talk to your kids about the implications of sex but be honest about the risks. the risk of getting hiv from a bj is almost non existent compared to the greater risk of getting one of the more common stds, or better yet - the social stigma that may result from some ass-hole that likes to brag. that is probably a far greater deterrent for kids today.
i was trying to leave personal anecdotes out of the discussion, but here are a few:
i have spoken to hundreds of people who came in for testing, shaking and sweating and crying, convinced they have hiv because they had been taught that no matter what you do, there is a chance of being infected. i've heard everything from getting a happy ending in a massage parlor, because the girl could have touched herself before touching him, to sitting in a spa in a bath house, to dry humping when someone came. these people are inconsolable and often can't be calmed by laying out how low on the spectrum of risk they truly are. they don't believe a negative test result and come in week after week to re-test, each time in a state of high anxiety. either these clients are refusing to face the truth that their actions are not as risky as they believe or they are mis-representing their true risk.
this is BAD because you are unable to relieve the stress they are going through. their sex life is marred by fear and mistrust. and ultimately, it is hard on the counselor and a waste of time and resources that could be put to people who have a much higher risk.
i can't say that i would knowingly give a bj to someone who has hiv. i haven't been in a situation where i loved someone enough to consider it. i can say though - i have known many, many serodiscordant couples who have made that decision and to this day, none of them have become positive through that act.
whatever.
hail satan.
wut wut wut???? I hardly think it's harmful to tell my kids they could possibly get AIDS from giving someone a blowjob. I can't even.
Serodiscordant?
Oh, and y'all are NOT helping my raging paranoia. How exactly does one go about asking someone if they've been detested for stds recently? Kind of seems like it would be a mood killer...
I agree. I also think that I'd rather have anxiety about having AIDS than have actual AIDS.
ok.
I was trying to figure out how we got on this subject and then I read Kraze's post about my son and his going to his concert. LOL, I forgot and just saw my name and thought WTF?
When Bodhi and I talk about sex, it's a different kind of talk that I have to have with him as compared to Noah or Dallas who I believe to be straight. I never wanted to embarrass Bodhi but I wanted him to know that unprotected sex with another guy could be very unsafe and a death sentence.
I really don't have to get in specifics with him because he does know. He's not an ordinary 16 year old in that he doesnt pay attention or know whats going on. Im very at peace with him making the right decisions because he really is THAT kid that has been educated.
Before he came out that he was gay, we talked about sex with girls and he knows the risks.
I wanted to clear the air tho so no one thinks Im a parent that has blinders on because Im certainly not (not that anyone said it) but Bodhi is something special and where he got his brains, I have no clue. He's got a good head on his shoulder and Im telling you guys, he is going to be something super amazing in his life.
Oh and he met jefree star:
the first thing i would do is get tested and request ALL tests (hsv,hiv) be done because they're not all done without request. so even if someone has been tested it doesn't mean they had all the tests done. a lot of people who have hsv (one and two) never have symptoms but can still spread the virus.
Yep. Better to kill the mood/be overly cautious.
No, I'm asking how do you ask someone else if they've been tested
Edit: dumb n/m
Last edited by Fleta; 12-09-2012 at 02:49 PM.
I asked a dr like 15 years ago to test me for aids when i went on for a reg check up and he looked at me and said 'are you a prostitute?' and I said 'no' and he said 'welp, you don't need one' and refused to give me the test.
Worst Dr ever.
You could go together and make a fun day out of it!No, I'm asking how do you ask someone else if they've been tested
Romantic second date.
"Ummm, i hate to bring this up before you insert your penis in my vagina, anus or mouth but have you recently been tested for all STD's including AIDS and can I see the report stating you are not in fact infected? Once I see this, I will allow you to penetrate me but only after you sign another waiver saying that since that report you have not had sexual relations with anyone else'.No, I'm asking how do you ask someone else if they've been tested
So hawt.
mutual respect is sexy.
i used to see a dr who tested me for HIV the first time she ever saw me because i have tattoos. :\
I get blood tested every year along with my pap. I just tell them to test for everything.
Im sure my dr's test when they do my blood work, especially when i was pregnant. Dallas is 6 and I havent had but one pap since then. Im terrible, I need to have this stuff done.
Girl, get on it.
I go to planned parenthood to get tested. I have my regular pap with my Dr but I have always gone somewhere else for the std stuff. I am weird.
Omg wtbb you need to get in. Cervical cancer is no joke and I see a lot of people that get it in their 30s.
I have a minor skin condition that i found out a few years ago from a gyno that I had. I told my reg dr and she said 'what the hell is that?' i think it's related to my hormones.
I have to call my dr for med refills and ill see if i cant get my pap done.
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