This was my worst nightmare for my sister, who spent seven years in a nursing home in pretty much the same state this victim was in. She could open her eyes and move her head and arms a little. She couldn't talk, walk, dress, or feed herself. She is one of two reasons we have advance directives.
Shortly after Sis got to the nursing home, my BIL (who hired people to care for her 12 hours a day/7 days a week) installed a hidden-camera clock radio in her room. He found out that male attendants were coming into my sister's room and sleeping on her couch at night. When he complained, they made him remove the camera citing "privacy" reasons. I understand the privacy issues they were referring to, but I was livid when he didn't remove her from the facility.
As for "letting go," it's not as easy as you think - and I'm not talking about the emotional aspect of it. Nothing in the "Right to Die" World is black and white, there are a million variables. Every state has different laws concerning end of life; some allow assisted suicide and euthanasia, but the patient must be in control of their faculties at the time of death. That doesn't help people who suddenly find themselves in a vegetative state. For hassle-free, unquestioned, legal euthanasia, there's always hospice. Their licensed and certified Angels of Death will give your loved one morphine every 30 minutes until they're dead. Not a bad way to go.
I always thought Advance Directives were ironclad, but found out differently as my father lay dying. Some states don't bat an eye at passive euthanasia, and others will make you fight for it. Mr. Tisha's brother was caught in a bizarre limbo between life and death last summer, when his pacemaker was "keeping him alive" against his expressed and well-documented wishes. It took lawyers, not an advanced directive, to get it turned off.
As for this victim, there wasn't even a mechanism for the family of this child to legally "let go" of her 30 years ago. She was put in that nursing home 14 years before Terri Schiavo's husband petitioned the courts to remove her feeding tube. It would have been considered outright murder to "let her go." Thankfully, times are changing.
We had to make the decision to discontinue our 34yo daughter's life support and I have to say, no matter the situation, it defies every rule of parenthood and goes against every fiber of your being as a parent. It's unnatural. "Shall we just let her die?" isn't on the list of decisions you ever imagine you will have to make for your child. It is life-changing and devastating.
Last edited by KimTisha; 02-05-2022 at 04:16 PM.
You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...
I'm not sure. I assume it was because she was one of the few residents who had a couch in her room, so it was a private place they could disappear and catch a few winks. Other than the hospital bed, you could furnish the room however you wanted. My BIL replaced the hard chairs with a couch to make it more comfortable for the caregivers who sat with her all day, and so he could sleep there if Sis was having a bad day (which happened a lot in the beginning). As it turned out, it became an attractive nuisance.
You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...
Thanks, Ang. Life can throw you curve balls sometimes. I don't take anything for granted.
ETA: And I want to make a Public Service Announcement about how vitally important it is to make your end of life wishes known. I don't care HOW young you are. It needs to be in writing and the people around you need to clearly understand your wishes. Make sure the person you ASSUME will carry out your wishes, is actually willing to do what you want. It's not a pleasant conversation, but death is a reality for all of us, and it can get really ugly there towards the end. Make sure YOU have some control over what the end of your life is going to look like. I cannot emphasize this enough.
You can thank me when we meet on the Other Side.
Last edited by KimTisha; 02-07-2022 at 05:49 PM.
You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...
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