After nearly nine years together, Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have ended their relationship.
"Melissa and Tammy Etheridge are saddened to announce that they are now separated," Melissa's rep tells PEOPLE.
In a statement, the couple adds, "We ask for consideration and respect for our family as we go through this difficult period."
The rocker and 'L Word' actress exchanged vows in Malibu in September 2003. While the statement from the publicist described the rocker and actress as "married," California law did not allow marriages between same-sex couples at the time. Once same-sex marriage was legally recognized in California in 2008, the two planned to wed but they never made it down the aisle.
Tammy gave birth to their children, son Miller and daughter Johnnie Rose, in 2006.
Etheridge is also mom to two other children, Bailey, 13, and Beckett, 11, with former partner Julie Cypher.