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Thread: Jade Richardson (26) died from a drug overdose and she asked to be submitted to MyDeathSpace in the event of her passing

  1. #201
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    Today should be Jade?s 29th birthday. I?ve given today a lot of thought mainly because today hurts worse than I thought it would.

    More than anything, I understand my place in this. Yes, I did cocaine with Jade & I will always feel regret. I should have been better. But I also know that, in many ways, Jade and I brought out the best in each other.

    Jade was many things to different people. But to me, she wasn?t a junkie. She wasn?t #BabyThrillKill. She was Jade, the beautiful woman, deeply intelligent & she wanted her intelligence to be valued. She was also deeply hurt & wanted that pain to be acknowledged.

    I?m so glad I had the foresight to just be quiet when she was talking about David. Or Luna. Or about her Mom. I understand why I?m here. Jade trusted me in that brief period of time. I?m so fortunate that she did & I hope I?ve made you proud in the time since you passed. I?ve tried to do my best for your mom & for Luna.

    Happy birthday Jade. You are loved & you are missed beyond measure.

  2. #202
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sowb.5151 View Post
    Today should be Jade?s 29th birthday. I?ve given today a lot of thought mainly because today hurts worse than I thought it would.

    More than anything, I understand my place in this. Yes, I did cocaine with Jade & I will always feel regret. I should have been better. But I also know that, in many ways, Jade and I brought out the best in each other.

    Jade was many things to different people. But to me, she wasn?t a junkie. She wasn?t #BabyThrillKill. She was Jade, the beautiful woman, deeply intelligent & she wanted her intelligence to be valued. She was also deeply hurt & wanted that pain to be acknowledged.

    I?m so glad I had the foresight to just be quiet when she was talking about David. Or Luna. Or about her Mom. I understand why I?m here. Jade trusted me in that brief period of time. I?m so fortunate that she did & I hope I?ve made you proud in the time since you passed. I?ve tried to do my best for your mom & for Luna.

    Happy birthday Jade. You are loved & you are missed beyond measure.
    So sorry for your loss.

    Happy birthday, Jade!


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  3. #203
    Senior Member KimTisha's Avatar
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    I wish all death threads could be this positive and uplifting. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful young lady. Bless you, Stephanie.... and thank you for sharing your daughter with us.

    Happy Birthday in Heaven, Jade...
    You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
    ...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...

  4. #204
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    I did a search for Jade's name on ancestry, just to see what came up one day, and this is what I found. Could there be a cooler accident??

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    You are not alone...thinking of you!

    Just in case you were feeling alone right now....know that you are not. I didnt know jade or you but after reading this entire thread tonight ill be thinking of you!

  6. #206
    Senior Member KimTisha's Avatar
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    Happy Birthday, Stephanie....
    You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
    ...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...

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    For whatever the reason I have been thinking of Made often this month. Always when I'm hiking the trails by the river. I feel it's something special she's giving me. I don't understand because we didn't know each other but it feels good when she comes to my thoughts. Happy belated birthday, Jade. The Lady with the beautiful eyes.

  8. #208
    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    Thank you. I miss her so much. I'm grateful I actually followed through with submitting her info here; it's been such an unexpected source of comfort.
    And it is for this reason that we are all grateful to you, too. It is rare that we have family visit our little corner of the 'web, moreso when it is a parent who submits her child.

    You will always have a place here, Stephanie, as will Jade.

    And as time goes on, that will remain true, because you have brought to this forum so much more than any article, any obituary ever could.

    Thank you, Stephanie.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

  9. #209
    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    I did a search for Jade's name on ancestry, just to see what came up one day, and this is what I found. Could there be a cooler accident??
    I think you need to make it unprivate. I couldn't see it until I copied the link into my browser.

  10. #210
    Nevermind, I see it now lol.

  11. #211
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    I've not been looking at this site much lately, because my mind has been sort of actively avoiding it, I guess. If I did come to browse the articles, I would purposefully not allow myself to look at Jade's, because it would bring back all the immediate fresh feelings that I am slowly learning to manage. I started reading these forums in 2006, so it kind of sucks having to avoid them when they have literally been my cigarette break reading material for 15 years, lol.

    Something told me to log on today, though, and when I did, I saw that I had missed a few posts. I initially felt a sense of dread about reading them, because I didn't feel like being sad today, and honestly, having my own daughter be an article on a forum I used to read for what was basically my own entertainment has been a difficult thing for me.

    It has also changed the way I read the articles. In the past, having no experience with loss of my own, I read in a way that sort of dehumanized the people in them; reduced them to items of interest, be that interest related to the bizarre circumstances of death or the sad way it may have played out on social media, or even just the tragedy of someone young and smart and beautiful having died due to suicide or drugs or abuse or whatever. Now when I read them, I immediately relate the circumstances of death to how their family is feeling, what THAT must have been like, and I wonder how they are holding up. I look closely at the pictures now, and I feel a weird responsiblity, almost, to sort of give the person that died a moment of honor, a special space in my head reserved only to acknowledge their lives for that moment. It's heavier for me now. Every single death is something I feel now, and I can only handle so much of that when it's piled on top of Jade's.

    I came to her thread anyway, though, when I saw the notifications, and I am so happy that I did. I found myself reading happy birthday messages for myself and for Jade, I read a message of support, telling me that I am not alone, and that Jade and I are both in someone's thoughts. I read that there is someone out there who never knew Jade, that thinks of her regularly, and remembers her beautiful eyes. And then I read a message assuring me that Jade and I both have a special place here permanently, and that made me cry, because I have to say that one thing that has been hard about her being on here, is seeing how far away her article gets from the first page, and how that magnifies the reality of her having been here farther from me, almost like I can see her slowly drifting away. Reading that post made me see things differently, in a weird way.

    So I apologize for (god, this feels weird) bumping an old thread without a real change or update, but I just had to let you guys know how much it matters to me that you have taken the time to read this, to comment on it, to give a shit, to be supportive, to think of us, and to remember Jade, even though you didn't know her. It made me cry in a different way than I used to, reading this. It was less broken, and more at peace. And I appreciate every single bit of that I can find. Thank you all. Seriously. You have given me something that genuinely matters and makes a difference. ❤

  12. #212
    Moderator Bewitchingstorm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    I've not been looking at this site much lately, because my mind has been sort of actively avoiding it, I guess. If I did come to browse the articles, I would purposefully not allow myself to look at Jade's, because it would bring back all the immediate fresh feelings that I am slowly learning to manage. I started reading these forums in 2006, so it kind of sucks having to avoid them when they have literally been my cigarette break reading material for 15 years, lol.

    Something told me to log on today, though, and when I did, I saw that I had missed a few posts. I initially felt a sense of dread about reading them, because I didn't feel like being sad today, and honestly, having my own daughter be an article on a forum I used to read for what was basically my own entertainment has been a difficult thing for me.

    It has also changed the way I read the articles. In the past, having no experience with loss of my own, I read in a way that sort of dehumanized the people in them; reduced them to items of interest, be that interest related to the bizarre circumstances of death or the sad way it may have played out on social media, or even just the tragedy of someone young and smart and beautiful having died due to suicide or drugs or abuse or whatever. Now when I read them, I immediately relate the circumstances of death to how their family is feeling, what THAT must have been like, and I wonder how they are holding up. I look closely at the pictures now, and I feel a weird responsiblity, almost, to sort of give the person that died a moment of honor, a special space in my head reserved only to acknowledge their lives for that moment. It's heavier for me now. Every single death is something I feel now, and I can only handle so much of that when it's piled on top of Jade's.

    I came to her thread anyway, though, when I saw the notifications, and I am so happy that I did. I found myself reading happy birthday messages for myself and for Jade, I read a message of support, telling me that I am not alone, and that Jade and I are both in someone's thoughts. I read that there is someone out there who never knew Jade, that thinks of her regularly, and remembers her beautiful eyes. And then I read a message assuring me that Jade and I both have a special place here permanently, and that made me cry, because I have to say that one thing that has been hard about her being on here, is seeing how far away her article gets from the first page, and how that magnifies the reality of her having been here farther from me, almost like I can see her slowly drifting away. Reading that post made me see things differently, in a weird way.

    So I apologize for (god, this feels weird) bumping an old thread without a real change or update, but I just had to let you guys know how much it matters to me that you have taken the time to read this, to comment on it, to give a shit, to be supportive, to think of us, and to remember Jade, even though you didn't know her. It made me cry in a different way than I used to, reading this. It was less broken, and more at peace. And I appreciate every single bit of that I can find. Thank you all. Seriously. You have given me something that genuinely matters and makes a difference. ❤
    Thank you for bumping this thread, Stephanie. You and Jade will always be a part of our MDS family.

  13. #213
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bewitchingstorm View Post
    Thank you for bumping this thread, Stephanie. You and Jade will always be a part of our MDS family.
    I second this!


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  14. #214
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bewitchingstorm View Post
    Thank you for bumping this thread, Stephanie. You and Jade will always be a part of our MDS family.
    Thanks, you guys. �� I hope Jade is somehow still aware of what goes on here, because she would love this so much.

  15. #215
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    I'm so happy that you bumped this thread. This is one of my favorite threads on MDS because it brings so many people together who both knew her and didn't and realizing that we all care about her in different ways.

    Stephanie, I like to think that not only does this serve as a way for you to fulfill her wishes and find some kind of support and therapy, but also as hope and encouragement for those that suffer from addiction. Open discussions rarely happen when it comes to it and this thread proves that you can openly discuss it and not be frowned upon. That you aren't an outcast, but you are welcomed some place where there are those that understand what you're going through.

    Reading back, there is more beauty in this thread than any other I know on this forum and you created it in her honor. I hope you're doing as well as you can and know that people do still think about her and you and the friends that have contributed to her legacy
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  16. #216
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I'm so happy that you bumped this thread. This is one of my favorite threads on MDS because it brings so many people together who both knew her and didn't and realizing that we all care about her in different ways.

    Stephanie, I like to think that not only does this serve as a way for you to fulfill her wishes and find some kind of support and therapy, but also as hope and encouragement for those that suffer from addiction. Open discussions rarely happen when it comes to it and this thread proves that you can openly discuss it and not be frowned upon. That you aren't an outcast, but you are welcomed some place where there are those that understand what you're going through.

    Reading back, there is more beauty in this thread than any other I know on this forum and you created it in her honor. I hope you're doing as well as you can and know that people do still think about her and you and the friends that have contributed to her legacy
    This makes me so happy. Thank you. It's all exactly as she would have wanted.

    It was kind of funny; when I did a podcast interview about Jade, I felt so pressured because all I could hear was her voice in the back of my head, telling me that I better make her episode "the best episode EVER", lol. After it aired, I received an email from the podcast owner that said, "I'm not sure what happened, but your episode is the most popular episode our show has ever had. It has almost double the listens of any other episode." All I could do was smile and think, "I did it, Jade." It probably seems really strange for anyone to think that I had some weird competition thing going on over something so tragic, lol, but I think anyone who knew Jade would agree that she would expect nothing less.

    One of her friends posted a conversation on FB the other day that the two of them had had, and it was SUCH a Jade conversation, lol. Jade was telling her friend how sometimes she wishes she could be someone else so that she could hang out with herself, lol. Her friend agreed, and Jade was like, "Let's switch! Do you know how to do that?" When her friend said no, Jade wrote out the ad that she would place on Craigslist, seeking "some wizard or whatever that would be able to perform a Freaky Friday style switcheroo, in order that she and her best friend could experience the magnitude of their own awesomeness in it's purest form".

    I told the podcast host, when asked what Jade would want for me, now that she is gone, and I answered her honestly. I said that I know Jade would want me to be happy, and she would want me to be there for her kids, share with them who she was and how much she loved them, but.. I also think that she would expect a very lengthy mourning period first, lol.

    She would have loved to observe her funeral and all the people that showed up and what they said and did, and what pictures of her were selected, lol.

    She would love that people have tattooed themselves in tribute to her.

    And she would love this.

    To take these opportunities to do exactly as you said, to talk about addiction, about loss, about Jade and the mark she made on us all is almost all that I can do for her now, as her mother. I can do everything in my power to keep her name on people's lips and her face in people's minds. Imprint her story on their hearts. I wanted to make her proud with all of these things and I can see that I have.

    I will spend the rest of my life doing these things in whatever ways I can, for as long as anyone will listen.

    Thank you for continuing to listen.

  17. #217
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    This makes me so happy. Thank you. It's all exactly as she would have wanted.

    It was kind of funny; when I did a podcast interview about Jade, I felt so pressured because all I could hear was her voice in the back of my head, telling me that I better make her episode "the best episode EVER", lol. After it aired, I received an email from the podcast owner that said, "I'm not sure what happened, but your episode is the most popular episode our show has ever had. It has almost double the listens of any other episode." All I could do was smile and think, "I did it, Jade." It probably seems really strange for anyone to think that I had some weird competition thing going on over something so tragic, lol, but I think anyone who knew Jade would agree that she would expect nothing less.

    One of her friends posted a conversation on FB the other day that the two of them had had, and it was SUCH a Jade conversation, lol. Jade was telling her friend how sometimes she wishes she could be someone else so that she could hang out with herself, lol. Her friend agreed, and Jade was like, "Let's switch! Do you know how to do that?" When her friend said no, Jade wrote out the ad that she would place on Craigslist, seeking "some wizard or whatever that would be able to perform a Freaky Friday style switcheroo, in order that she and her best friend could experience the magnitude of their own awesomeness in it's purest form".

    I told the podcast host, when asked what Jade would want for me, now that she is gone, and I answered her honestly. I said that I know Jade would want me to be happy, and she would want me to be there for her kids, share with them who she was and how much she loved them, but.. I also think that she would expect a very lengthy mourning period first, lol.

    She would have loved to observe her funeral and all the people that showed up and what they said and did, and what pictures of her were selected, lol.

    She would love that people have tattooed themselves in tribute to her.

    And she would love this.

    To take these opportunities to do exactly as you said, to talk about addiction, about loss, about Jade and the mark she made on us all is almost all that I can do for her now, as her mother. I can do everything in my power to keep her name on people's lips and her face in people's minds. Imprint her story on their hearts. I wanted to make her proud with all of these things and I can see that I have.

    I will spend the rest of my life doing these things in whatever ways I can, for as long as anyone will listen.

    Thank you for continuing to listen.
    Honestly, with how much she was loved, I don't think you have to try to keep her memory alive. It's alive and well. Even if her friends haven't posted here lately, I'm sure that they think of her often. They have their tributes to her, can't see anything about "Alice in Wonderland" without thinking of her and her impression that they had on her lives on through her.

    I would love you to have this space to do whatever you feel for her, but I would never want you to feel some sort of obligation to keep her alive through this or podcasts or anything. Because she already left that impression on people. She did that work already. If doing it helps you, then by all means keep going. But if it's out of obligation or causes you pain, that's not what she would have wanted.

    That's not to say that I don't love when you comment and share, it's just to say that you shouldn't have to feel any guilt or obligation to do so. She's already done what she wanted to do through you.
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  18. #218
    Senior Member jennafyre's Avatar
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    Jade has taught so many people that beyond the defeat of addiction...is a person. A real person, a soul, a heart, a personality. A distinct laugh or a funny story. Addiction is just a shitty part of their story but it's not even close to who they are. Crying as I write this, I have lost really important people in my life to addiction, and I feel a piece of every one of them in this thread. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me.

  19. #219
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennafyre View Post
    Jade has taught so many people that beyond the defeat of addiction...is a person. A real person, a soul, a heart, a personality. A distinct laugh or a funny story. Addiction is just a shitty part of their story but it's not even close to who they are. Crying as I write this, I have lost really important people in my life to addiction, and I feel a piece of every one of them in this thread. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me.
    Thank you for this. So much. It will be three years since Jade has been gone tomorrow, and I am feeling so broken still, by the loss of her. I can't believe it has already been 3 years since I have spoken to my child, seen her, felt her in my arms. Knowing that sharing her life, her story, is helpful somehow, to anyone, helps me, and logging on tonight and reading this has brought me great comfort. I am so sorry that you have lost people close to you from this horrible disease, as well. I still hope to eventually find a way to change things somehow. But for now, this is enough, so thank you again. ❤

  20. #220
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    Thank you for this. So much. It will be three years since Jade has been gone tomorrow, and I am feeling so broken still, by the loss of her. I can't believe it has already been 3 years since I have spoken to my child, seen her, felt her in my arms. Knowing that sharing her life, her story, is helpful somehow, to anyone, helps me, and logging on tonight and reading this has brought me great comfort. I am so sorry that you have lost people close to you from this horrible disease, as well. I still hope to eventually find a way to change things somehow. But for now, this is enough, so thank you again. ❤
    We're here if you need us and I'm happy that this thread helps in even a small way to cope with your loss. It's still one of my favorite threads on MDS. Sending love your way
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
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  21. #221
    Moderator Bewitchingstorm's Avatar
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    Awwwww ~ happy birthday, Stephanie.

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