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Thread: Jade Richardson (26) died from a drug overdose and she asked to be submitted to MyDeathSpace in the event of her passing

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  1. #1
    Administrator Olivia's Avatar
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    Jade Richardson (26) died from a drug overdose and she asked to be submitted to MyDeathSpace in the event of her passing

    http://mydeathspace.com/article/2018...of_her_passing

    Jade's mother has been a member here since 2007 and sent us the following email -

    I am a long term member here. This is my daughter, who was 26 years old. We never had many conversations about death, but the one conversation I recall was one in which we promised each other that in the event of either person's death, we would absolutely submit an article here. I've been torn, but I know she would fucking love it that I actually followed through.

    I have sent her the link to this thread in case she wants to talk about Jade..

    Jade's obituary
    Jade Ariana Robles (Richardson)
    1991-2018
    Alice: How long is forever?
    White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.
    Jade Ariana Robles (Richardson) passed through the looking glass, and on to grander and curiouser adventures in Wonderland on April 18, 2018.
    Jade was born defying convention. She lived life as an unapologetic original. She was a fiercely loyal friend, and champion of her fellow woman. She loved books, and detested anything that was ordinary.
    She needed no excuse to dance while driving, and bore no shame at being seen. She was a devotee of glamour and glitter, but her thousand watt smile was never outshone.
    Jade grew up alongside her mother, Stephanie Richardson Davies, and spoke often of the admiration she had for her. She loved her daughter Luna and son Isaac, as well as her friends and other family members intensely, and she was loved and is missed with that same intensity.
    Jade is survived by her mother, brothers Jackson, Gavin and Dylan, children Luna and Isaac, two grandmothers, and countless other family and friends, all of whom will be forever changed for having known and loved her.

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    Senior Member Jezebelle's Avatar
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    My sincere sympathy goes out to her loved ones. She sounds like a very special young woman.

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    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    A very beautiful obit.

    I'm very sorry for your loss.

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    Senior Member SuchAClassicGirl's Avatar
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    I love that obituary
    Quote Originally Posted by blighted star
    I was about to be annoyed that this thread was still active, but I see now it's morphed into offers of sex for chilli confectionary, so carry on guys :)

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    Senior Member Bewitchingstorm's Avatar
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    What a lovely lady ~ I am so sorry to her mom, family/friends. Jade seemed like an amazing person.
    Last edited by Bewitchingstorm; 05-15-2018 at 04:56 AM. Reason: As usual, a typo

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    Thank you, guys. Jade was beautiful, hilarious, intelligent, and all sorts of amazing things. She was also an addict, and it breaks my heart that she couldn't overcome it before it killed her. It's been a month but time feels like it's been sort of standing still since that day. I always knew this was a possible putcome, but I still never really imagined that it might actually happen, and I am probably still in denial, to a certain degree. We had an Alice in Wonderland dress made for her (that was always her thing), and tried to follow the theme with her obituary, tried to make it all as representative of who she was as we could. One of her best friends from middle school flew in to do her makeup. Everyone has been so supportive; it's been really beautiful, seeing how many people loved her, and how many lives she touched. She had her demons, for sure, but we are all devastated by the loss.

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    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    To Jade's mother: It is both an honor and a privilege to know that she would want to have an article featured on here should she pass, moreso that you honored her wishes and shared this with all of us.

    There are no words that will adequately convey to you how sorry we are to know that your daughter couldn't escape her demons. Normally this is the part where I would tell you about mds, and how so many of us are actual people who feel deeply when another has incurred a loss, but you no doubt are already aware.

    My hope, should any of her friends or family who may also be struggling with addiction see this, is that they get some help. The kind that helps them end the vicious cycle of addiction for good. The kind that reminds them that there are so many things to live for outside of their chemical romance. My hope is that her children grow up knowing that she loved them, and are reminded of that love for the rest of their lives.

    My hope for you, Stephanie, is that you never lose sight of the amazing person that your daughter was. Don't let your sorrow or your anger prevent you from seeing the amazing person you raised. And as sad and tragic as this event is, it is also an opportunity. You have the opportunity to ensure that not only do her children grow up to know their mother's love, but also that they don't follow the same course.

    My heart goes out to you, to her children, and to all of those who knew and loved your daughter.

    May she rest in peace.
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    Rest in Peace, Jade.

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    So sorry for your loss. Jade seemed like an amazing women.

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    Senior Member Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    So very sorry for your loss. She seemed beautiful both inside and out. You're an amazing Mom for honoring her wishes. I can't imagine the heartbreak, but know that you aren't alone.
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

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    Thank you for honoring her wishes and sharing with us. She was a beautiful young lady that had demons like so many of us. There's no words that I can say that will make it any easier or bring you any comfort, only time will help with that. So many people come here and lash out and attack members without finding out what we're all about. I hope you find even a little comfort in knowing that Jade was loved, her life did matter and you can always come here and talk openly about her, good or not so good if it helps with your healing. Much love to you and the ones she left behind.

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    Stephanie I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. It sounds like you two had a loving wonderful relationship. Please take care.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jumaki15 View Post
    Him being murdery annoys me.

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    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    I'm also sorry for your loss, stephanie. it's really cool that you chose to share her life with us.

    RIP Jade.
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    Some people might find it strange that I submitted her (other family members and whatnot), but I honestly don't care. Jade was morbid as hell (a trait I am sure she inherited from me, lol), and I can't even tell you how many threads we read on here together (especially the one about Jim Carey, where we both decided he was evil, lol), or how much she loved anything that was "different".

    She got married at 19 to a man a few years younger than me, who had an extensive background that I was horrified by, as a mother. She left him years ago, but never divorced him, and so when it came down to it, he was her next of kin. He is not mentally all there, I don't know exactly what the issues are, but let's just say that, before he spoke at the funeral, there was a bizarre wardrobe change that left everyone speechless.

    His being next of kin included perks such as them (he and his sister) telling me that I couldn't take a couple of locks of her hair, that they wouldn't split up her ashes, all kinds of things that made the most difficult time of my life so much more difficult.

    There were some funny things that happened during the funeral that I know she would have been laughing her ass off about, such as when her "husband" broke the casket during the viewing, his wardrobe change, and even some of the pictures that were accidentally included in the slideshow (one of which was some video game thing talking about how upon the players death, prophecy would be fulfilled, etc.).

    Her addiction issues started young (15) and escalated quickly, and there were many treatment centers, arrests, overdoses, and lots of heartbreak along the way. Her children have pretty much always lived with their fathers (or the other grandmother, in the case of her husband).

    But she was always trying. In her journals, there are pages after pages of her begging God to help her be better, pages where she scrawled things such as, "PROVE THEM WRONG".

    For the last two months of her life, we weren't speaking, due to some really awful things that she had said to me that I refused to pretend just hadn't happened, and that has left me with this horrible feelings of things that can never be resolved.

    I started asking her out loud to please let me know that she didn't mean those things she said, and the very next day, I received a framed print of something she wrote about me on FB called, "If I could give my mom an award, it would be for..", which is on there, if anyone cares to read it. The day after that, I received an email from a man who knew her from Austin, who felt he had to reach out to tell me how much she credited me with all these awesome things about her, how she could discuss Kerouac, and knew Leonard Cohen and Lou Reed, etc., and how highly she always spoke of me. Then, in a Mother's Day package from a friend of hers, at the very last minute, as she was sending it off, she felt compelled to write, "Jade thought you were the coolest person on the planet, rightfully so."

    I have to think this was her way of telling me how she really felt.

    I had her very young (16), but I think I was pretty different than most young moms in a lot of ways. Breastfed for over a year, taught her to read before Kindergarten, she always stayed in the same elementary school, I only dated two men that she recalled, and married one of them. There were always boundaries in our relationship, etc.

    Her grandmother, who struggles with enabling, recently pointed out that when Jade called her, it was because she wanted something, but she always knew I wouldn't give her anything (nothing that she was capable of providing for herself, and no cash), so when she called me, it was literally just to talk to me. And it was all the time. I'd never thought about it like that, but it's the truth. She rarely asked me for anything. We would just laugh, make fun of people, vent, talk about the latest events, share music and television shows, and laugh some more. I told her I always felt like Beavis and Butthead on the phone with her, and then we had to argue over who was who, lol.

    I don't even remember much of my life before Jade. I mean, I turned 16 three weeks after I had her, and I will be 43 this July. This is a brand new reality for me, and it kills me to think that there are no more chances for her to turn it around, fix it, PROVE THEM WRONG. She wasn't ready to go. She had too many things left to do.

    At the same time, I think things were about to get even darker for her, and her friends and I had noticed some changes in her, some ways that she was different from the person she had always been, and it was worrisome, as if she were actually losing the person she really was, underneath the addiciton.

    Having Jade saved my life in a million ways. I went to therapy for her drug treatment, and it may not have helped her much, but I kept going for two and a half years, and in that way, Jade saved my life again. I processed guilt and learned about boundaries and what was and was not my responsibility, learned how to cope with feelings, and how to hold my tongue (which was always quite sharp). That therapy is why I was able to avoid responding to that shit she said to me before she died. I was just waiting for her to acknowledge it, own it, apologize for it, or tell me that she meant it, whatever the case may be. Unfortunately, we didn't get time for her to do that.

    I had to go help tell her daughter, who is 8 years old, that her mother is dead. I will never forget that moment. The facial expression of a little girl melting, as her life changed forever, is permanently etched in my brain.

    Going to her house, where she died, collecting her personal things, was complete fucking agony.

    The police don't give a shit about junkies. They don't investigate overdoses at all, even though we have her phone, know who she was with, who sold it to her, and despite the fact that her phone appears to have been accessed several times, hours after the ME's estimated time of death. Makes me sick that, to them, she's just another dead junkie. I asked the cop why more people haven't picked up on this as the perfect murder method, but he just said he doesn't know what to tell me, this is how it is.

    I am still living on the edges of my mind, not getting too close to it, because it feels like it will destroy me.

    I honestly thought she would turn it around, maybe when she got to be about 30. But here we are, and I have to make this mean something, have to make sure people know who she was beyond the addiction, have to take the gifts that she gave me, the experiences, and use them for something that she never had the chance to.

    I just really miss her presence here. The conversations that only she would appreciate. The stupid jokes she would always laugh so hard at. The ways we would annoy each other for our own amusement. I miss her laugh more than anything. No one laughed as much or as hard as Jade. It was the definition of infectious.

    Sorry so long. I am wordy anyway (coworkers used to make fun of me by calling me "Succinct Stephanie", lol), and on a subject like this, there are 26 years worth of things I want to say, explain, share, defend, accuse, laugh or cry about, mourn, throw and punch things over, and all of that is in addition to all the years to come that will bring even more feelings. But I hope the future brings peace and healing for all of us.

    I've conducted myself with as much grace as I could thoughout the entire process. From the former best friend of mine who showed up at the funeral, knowing that I know she did drugs with my daughter, to the in-laws who tried to take her funeral from me and wanted to keep her ashes, and pretend like they even still knew a thing about her, to the friends who were doing drugs with her, to the people who enabled her, to the family who was never there for her, etc., etc. I promised myself I would handle myself in such a way so as to be beyond reproach. I guess that's how I have tried to live my life, in general.

    Jade taught me unconditional love and acceptance. She taught me a great deal about empathy. About the differences in people and how some people can handle things that other people just can't. She saved me from myself, when I had her, saved me again through her own treatment, made me stronger, made me learn how to be there for her without enabling, made me learn to listen without preaching, to say things in such a way that people were capable of hearing, and to lose a good bit of my holier-than-thou judgmental side.

    I posted about her several times on here over the years, but I haven't gone back to read them yet.

    Again, sorry for the length. Thanks, if you read this far.

  15. #15
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    that's lovely. this thread is here for you t express whatever you want about your daughter in as many words as it takes.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
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    Senior Member Nic B's Avatar
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    Stephanie: that was beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss

    I have struggled with addiction (have been clean for almost 2 years now) and am currently going through it with my sister who, frustratingly, doesn't seem to care enough to help herself or let others help her. It is tough and really difficult; my heart goes out to you.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Stephanie: that was beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss

    I have struggled with addiction (have been clean for almost 2 years now) and am currently going through it with my sister who, frustratingly, doesn't seem to care enough to help herself or let others help her. It is tough and really difficult; my heart goes out to you.
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with both your own sobriety AND having to fear for someone else. It's the most powerless feeling in the world. Jade was kicked out of one treatment center after a year for essentially being a waste of a bed, when there were others who wanted help. Everyone wanted it so badly for her, everyone was willing to put in work to help her get there, but she couldn't find it within herself to do it. It's a horrible cycle of shame, avoiding shame, creating more reasons to feel shame, running from shame, etc., etc. The longer it goes on, I imagine there is a good deal of hopelessness that starts to work it's way in there, as if it's all inevitable, either way. I think Jade was so young when it started, she literally couldn't imagine a different life, and whenshe did, it terrified her. Congratulations on two years. I know what a major accomplishment that is.

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    Senior Member Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with both your own sobriety AND having to fear for someone else. It's the most powerless feeling in the world. Jade was kicked out of one treatment center after a year for essentially being a waste of a bed, when there were others who wanted help. Everyone wanted it so badly for her, everyone was willing to put in work to help her get there, but she couldn't find it within herself to do it. It's a horrible cycle of shame, avoiding shame, creating more reasons to feel shame, running from shame, etc., etc. The longer it goes on, I imagine there is a good deal of hopelessness that starts to work it's way in there, as if it's all inevitable, either way. I think Jade was so young when it started, she literally couldn't imagine a different life, and whenshe did, it terrified her. Congratulations on two years. I know what a major accomplishment that is.
    Thank you!

    I am so sorry she didn't make it through, it is tough and there are so many who struggle very hard. It's very easy to fall back into because it is what some people are just used to, that's the life they know...I became very close with a lot of people I was in rehab with, and I can think of a few who ended up passing away (overdose, suicide). My friend who committed suicide was clean, but he still couldn't escape the demons which is just awful to think about.

    Just know she is at peace now

    Oh, and just to add, you did all you could. It is true when they say the person has to really WANT it. I have recently come to terms with the fact that my sister will end up dying soon if she doesn't stop; I have tried all I can to help and nothing works. That is all we can do, is try our best, and the rest is left up to them.
    Last edited by Nic B; 05-18-2018 at 03:04 PM.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Oh, and just to add, you did all you could. It is true when they say the person has to really WANT it. I have recently come to terms with the fact that my sister will end up dying soon if she doesn't stop; I have tried all I can to help and nothing works. That is all we can do, is try our best, and the rest is left up to them.
    That is something I don't think I can ever be told enough times to have it really really sink in, even though, logically, I know it to be the truth. There will always be what-if's and why's, I think, with every parent, I think, to a certain degree, because parentinf tends to come with a lot of guilt, no matter what. But in cases of overdose or suicide, it's a whole other level, and I don't know if I will ever feel completely at peace again.

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    Junior Member 3chordvalentine's Avatar
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    Stephanie, your words are beautiful and I'm sure I'm not alone in saying to feel free to share whichever memories of your daughter you'd like. She sounds like a wonderful person, and from what you described, it reminds me of my own relationship with my mother. I laughed at the mention of Beavis and Butthead, as that is definitely something we would debate over as well. Thank you again for sharing more information about Jade (a name I've always loved).

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    Senior Member Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Stephanie, I absolutely enjoyed reading everything you wrote. You can post anything you would like to or need to in order to help grieve here. She sounded amazing. We're here for you. That's what MDS is really about. Speaking the truth about loss with others that understand it
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    Stephanie, I absolutely enjoyed reading everything you wrote. You can post anything you would like to or need to in order to help grieve here. She sounded amazing. We're here for you. That's what MDS is really about. Speaking the truth about loss with others that understand it
    Thank you all. In real life, it feels like people are either over the subject, don't know how to respond to the subject, or they are going so far out of their way to make sure that I am busy, distracted, getting out of the house, eating, meeting other people with dead kids, etc., etc., that I end up feeling like I have to act like it's all working magically, just so I don't need to comfort THEM, lol. It's awesome to have this little space that specifically exists, just to talk about Jade. I've invited her friends to post, as well, because when Jade's kids get old enough to google her (any time now), I want their stories, my stories, to be what pulls up for them first in those search results, not just a few examples of some of the negative repercussions of her addiction.

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    Senior Member Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    Thank you all. In real life, it feels like people are either over the subject, don't know how to respond to the subject, or they are going so far out of their way to make sure that I am busy, distracted, getting out of the house, eating, meeting other people with dead kids, etc., etc., that I end up feeling like I have to act like it's all working magically, just so I don't need to comfort THEM, lol. It's awesome to have this little space that specifically exists, just to talk about Jade. I've invited her friends to post, as well, because when Jade's kids get old enough to google her (any time now), I want their stories, my stories, to be what pulls up for them first in those search results, not just a few examples of some of the negative repercussions of her addiction.
    I think that's amazing.

    Yes, people who love you are going to gather and do their best. It's still a hard subject for some and even if they did want to speak openly about it, they probably don't know how to or how to with another Mom. It's a scary subject, but more and more people are starting to face it head on and being honest with it. No matter what, even if they don't know how to approach it, they love you and just have your best interest in mind.

    This should be an open and honest memorial to your daughter. I have a feeling it's what she would have wanted. Especially if you guys read articles here..
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  24. #24
    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephanie_says View Post
    Thank you all. In real life, it feels like people are either over the subject, don't know how to respond to the subject, or they are going so far out of their way to make sure that I am busy, distracted, getting out of the house, eating, meeting other people with dead kids, etc., etc., that I end up feeling like I have to act like it's all working magically, just so I don't need to comfort THEM, lol. It's awesome to have this little space that specifically exists, just to talk about Jade. I've invited her friends to post, as well, because when Jade's kids get old enough to google her (any time now), I want their stories, my stories, to be what pulls up for them first in those search results, not just a few examples of some of the negative repercussions of her addiction.
    Here at mds, we know you never get "over" the death of a child, no matter their age or the circumstances of their death. And like you, I think that this thread may come in handy if and when the children start to search and discover. They will find your amazing posts about their mother, and hopefully see the truth in other family members, perhaps for the first time.

    And we will be right here to support you.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Now go fuck yourself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kevansvault View Post
    Here at mds, we know you never get "over" the death of a child, no matter their age or the circumstances of their death. And like you, I think that this thread may come in handy if and when the children start to search and discover. They will find your amazing posts about their mother, and hopefully see the truth in other family members, perhaps for the first time.

    And we will be right here to support you.
    Thank you for both of your messages. I have always loved it here because of the wit of so many of the members, and because of some of the fascinating conversations and debates that can occur with certain deaths. I never expected to find it (or need it) as a safe place of comfort and healing. I know that's part of the point, but I don't see too many people using it for that. It's often angry tirades, drama, attention whores, etc. But I have to say, it truly has been a comfort for me, and I hope it will be for her kids, her friends, and other family, as well, as soon as they post, or have their posts approved or whatever. Thank you, all of you, for being there to read about and find it within yourselves to care about people you've never even met, and those they left behind.

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