Bianca Burris - 9 February 2016 - waiting for ME results

[Nic B]

I'm so tired of these mothers posting a zillion photos with their child, yet behind closed doors obviously spending/focusing/zoning out on heroin/drugs. Brilliant.

It's sad she passed, sadder that she had a child that now doesn't have a mother.

The "mother" of my youngest stepson got a tattoo of his name on her hand. She hasn't seen him or even talked to him, NOTHING, in almost 5 years. I only know because I check her FB every once in a while and she posted pics. How the fuck you going to get a tattoo of a child's name who you never even see?? She also posts pictures of him on her FB, almost like trying to show people he is still n her life. Too bad all the pics are of when he was little and he has grown so much now.

She got arrested a few years ago because of drugs, supposedly got clean but still never tried to see him. Who knows.

[puzzld]

The "mother" of my youngest stepson got a tattoo of his name on her hand. She hasn't seen him or even talked to him, NOTHING, in almost 5 years. I only know because I check her FB every once in a while and she posted pics. How the fuck you going to get a tattoo of a child's name who you never even see?? She also posts pictures of him on her FB, almost like trying to show people he is still n her life. Too bad all the pics are of when he was little and he has grown so much now.

She got arrested a few years ago because of drugs, supposedly got clean but still never tried to see him. Who knows.

Now I have a little more charitable view of that. (I realize it's easier because I don't have any stake in it) My Mom gave a baby up when she was 16 (he was born when she was 14... Getting a loved ones name tattooed wasn't a thing then, but I suspect she'd do so if she was in a similar place now. She used to show people the couple of pictures she had of him on the regular. Just because you don't have contact, just because you're in a place in your life where you feel your kid is better off without you, doesn't mean you don't still hurt and want to memorialize the relationship.

[Nic B]

I totally get that, and I what I meant was a kid that you abandoned. Adopting out a child is totally different. That comes from a loving place, whereas what my stepson's "mom" did not. She used to see him and then decided to just stop doing so. I can't tell you how many times I was holding my stepson while he cried because he wanted his mommy and missed her, and didn't know when he would get to see her next. Luckily, it's been enough time that he doesn't do that any more, but I know it will always hurt him inside. That is where my anger comes from when it comes to her...

[jennafyre]

I totally get that, and I what I meant was a kid that you abandoned. Adopting out a child is totally different. That comes from a loving place, whereas what my stepson's "mom" did not. She used to see him and then decided to just stop doing so. I can't tell you how many times I was holding my stepson while he cried because he wanted his mommy and missed her, and didn't know when he would get to see her next. Luckily, it's been enough time that he doesn't do that any more, but I know it will always hurt him inside. That is where my anger comes from when it comes to her...

My son has never met his father, not that we haven't tried, so I get how painful it can be to see someone you love yearning to see a parent who doesn't give a shit. But i would rather see her prance around with a tattoo and old pics than shoot her teen up with heroin in an attempt to connect with her kid, like on the other thread we saw here. Maybe she is doing him a favour keeping her distance. He is lucky to have you Nic, not as a replacement, but as a true model of what a supportive parental figure and love is supposed to be.

[daisylane]

Having issues quoting (on proxy at work)

Nic - exactly my issues here. A child isn't an accessory you can use to be perceived a certain way, that is a human. A human you've chosen to give life, so don't screw it for them!

And 100% on the weed vs prescription drug issue. But you're also talking to a 'green' gal here/prescribed happy pills :) I cannot stand the Big Pharma issues.

[kevansvault]

My son has never met his father, not that we haven't tried, so I get how painful it can be to see someone you love yearning to see a parent who doesn't give a shit. But i would rather see her prance around with a tattoo and old pics than shoot her teen up with heroin in an attempt to connect with her kid, like on the other thread we saw here. Maybe she is doing him a favour keeping her distance. He is lucky to have you Nic, not as a replacement, but as a true model of what a supportive parental figure and love is supposed to be.

^^ That, every day of the week and twice on Sunday.^^

For all of you with stepchildren...for you to be responsible and loving enough to care for a child that is not your own biological child, that takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love. And sure, it may be what you're supposed to do, but how often do we hear on here about how stepmothers or stepfathers totally ruin the lives of the children in their charge? The answer is: far too fucking often.

I don't for one goddamn minute understand a man who doesn't want to meet his child, and I can not respect the kind of person that calls themselves a mother/father when they never see their kid. Sure, biologically you're a father/mother, but if you don't have a relationship with your child by choice - then you are nothing more than a sperm/egg donor.

And as a father of two, I can't fucking imagine my life without them. I think of them before I think of myself, always. I don't understand the selfishness that comes with parents who do things like this when there is soooo much at stake!!!

Perhaps now her daughter will have a shot at a more normal life. I can only hope that she can someday find peace with her passing.

[daisylane]

^^ That, every day of the week and twice on Sunday.^^

For all of you with stepchildren...for you to be responsible and loving enough to care for a child that is not your own biological child, that takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love. And sure, it may be what you're supposed to do, but how often do we hear on here about how stepmothers or stepfathers totally ruin the lives of the children in their charge? The answer is: far too fucking often.

I don't for one goddamn minute understand a man who doesn't want to meet his child, and I can not respect the kind of person that calls themselves a mother/father when they never see their kid. Sure, biologically you're a father/mother, but if you don't have a relationship with your child by choice - then you are nothing more than a sperm/egg donor.

And as a father of two, I can't fucking imagine my life without them. I think of them before I think of myself, always. I don't understand the selfishness that comes with parents who do things like this when there is soooo much at stake!!!

Perhaps now her daughter will have a shot at a more normal life. I can only hope that she can someday find peace with her passing.

BEFORE yourSELF!?

What is this lunacy!?

(I'm kidding - it's nice to see priorities in the right order for a change)

Couldn't have said it better.. except I don't have children, so wouldn't have.

[Bewitchingstorm]

^^ That, every day of the week and twice on Sunday.^^

For all of you with stepchildren...for you to be responsible and loving enough to care for a child that is not your own biological child, that takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love. And sure, it may be what you're supposed to do, but how often do we hear on here about how stepmothers or stepfathers totally ruin the lives of the children in their charge? The answer is: far too fucking often.

I don't for one goddamn minute understand a man who doesn't want to meet his child, and I can not respect the kind of person that calls themselves a mother/father when they never see their kid. Sure, biologically you're a father/mother, but if you don't have a relationship with your child by choice - then you are nothing more than a sperm/egg donor.

And as a father of two, I can't fucking imagine my life without them. I think of them before I think of myself, always. I don't understand the selfishness that comes with parents who do things like this when there is soooo much at stake!!!

Perhaps now her daughter will have a shot at a more normal life. I can only hope that she can someday find peace with her passing.

Sigh. I you, Kevan.

[Nic B]

^^ That, every day of the week and twice on Sunday.^^

For all of you with stepchildren...for you to be responsible and loving enough to care for a child that is not your own biological child, that takes a special kind of person and a special kind of love. And sure, it may be what you're supposed to do, but how often do we hear on here about how stepmothers or stepfathers totally ruin the lives of the children in their charge? The answer is: far too fucking often.

I don't for one goddamn minute understand a man who doesn't want to meet his child, and I can not respect the kind of person that calls themselves a mother/father when they never see their kid. Sure, biologically you're a father/mother, but if you don't have a relationship with your child by choice - then you are nothing more than a sperm/egg donor.

And as a father of two, I can't fucking imagine my life without them. I think of them before I think of myself, always. I don't understand the selfishness that comes with parents who do things like this when there is soooo much at stake!!!

Perhaps now her daughter will have a shot at a more normal life. I can only hope that she can someday find peace with her passing.

Exactly! My husband would die for his kids, and can't imagine not seeing them every day. One of the reasons I fell so much in love with him. Not just because of the love, but because he did not "shy away" from his responsibilities (though he never saw it as something he HAD to do, but wanted) and when his ex wasn't in the picture and before I met him, he had T every day...he is the one who got him up in the morning and fed him, who washed and dried his clothes, who bathed him, etc. Every day things and more. And he never once complained.

I just never understood how T's "mom" could not want to be a part of his life. He is the most amazing, sweetest, smartest, most easy going child I have ever seen. I consider myself the lucky one to not only have met my husband because I love him, but because meeting him put his kids in my life and I am so grateful.

Sorry to go off topic. I have a tendency to gush about the kids lol. Carry on all