Rose Victory (15) committed suicide by hanging

[Gemini]

I'm so glad this isn't a thread about someone being selfish and not living on for her dogs..

StayStrong, I agree that if everything you said is true, I don't think your assumption about moms FBing is harsh, nor wrong.



The cultural drift on death photos and FB is pretty interesting to me. My good friends dad recently died, and his boater cousin took pictures of the viewing and posted them on FB. This enraged my friend because he didn't understand that it's something people in his homeland do. He thought it was just a sympathy sponge move. Which I think is fair, given what our culture sees.

Yeah. In my father's culture its quite normal to have had an open casket, photographs etc. I actually collect Victorian taxidermy & animal skulls. It is all about how you view death and cultural differences can make a big difference.

[zeebee]

My opinion on her Facebook postings? I might get chewed out by some people about this, but I stand by my opinion because I know how her mother was like as does her other friends, is that I think she's posting those videos to make it seem like she cared a lot. It is HARSH for me to say that. And I don't mean to say that to lessen her love for Rose. It is the fact that her mother IS the reason Rose took her life.

I don't think it's harsh, knowing what you know about her. I felt a little bad about what I posted earlier because I was speculating based on my observations of her (the mom's) behavior, but I don't know her and thought maybe I was completely off base. Sounds like I wasn't though.

Yeah, that's her mother's Facebook. You know what's crazy? She took a picture of Rose in her deathbed and sent them to people. This was the picture of Rose not made up for public viewing. Eventually I got the pic, and it was the most offensive thing anyone has ever sent to me. I DIDNT want to see it.

That's terrible.

[StayStrong]

Thank you, Stay Strong. It seems like Rose had an amazing friend in you. It's tragic that she had to live like she did because of her Mother's terrible actions and it makes me sad to know that she saw no other way out than leaving this world.

The fact that her Mom continues to victimize her after death makes me sick. It makes me hope that karma is real and that she'll get what's coming to her tenfold.

So very sorry for your loss. You did your best for her.

Thanks Boston Babe. There's always the guilt feeling I felt heavily early on and I still feel it now. I should have called her instead of txting her when I haven't heard from her in a while, and especially when she wasn't feeling good. It's something I learned. Nothing is better than to speak in a tone of voice. I regret it so much. But many have said there was nothing I could do and it was only a matter of time.

Wow, that is all horrific. Reading all this made my heart hurt. I am really sorry for your loss. That's terrible. I wish it were under better circumstances that you came here, but welcome to MDS

Thanks a lot Jumaki. I plan on staying here as there's also a lot of great people that needs support, just as I have gotten from them. I found this place by googling her name and was very surprised someone was talking about her.

I'm so glad this isn't a thread about someone being selfish and not living on for her dogs..

StayStrong, I agree that if everything you said is true, I don't think your assumption about moms FBing is harsh, nor wrong.



The cultural drift on death photos and FB is pretty interesting to me. My good friends dad recently died, and his boater cousin took pictures of the viewing and posted them on FB. This enraged my friend because he didn't understand that it's something people in his homeland do. He thought it was just a sympathy sponge move. Which I think is fair, given what our culture sees.

Me too, Shins.

I agree with you about the cultural views when it comes to death. Our society tends to see death from a negative perspective, which leads to individuals being upset if pictures are taken, etc. However, in other cultures death is recognized in a more positive light. So you truly never know what will be accepted and/or what might be seen as distasteful when it comes to someone's death and how others choose to honor their loved one(s).

I agree and you both bought up a very good point! She was half Persian and half Japanese. Funny though, because the month before her passing she always bring up whether I believed in reincarnation. She mentions that maybe we were reincarnated because we had so much in common in the weirdest things. I sometimes wonder if that was her exit from her depression. Regardless, I hope she rests in peace now.

[Boston Babe 73]

Thanks Boston Babe. There's always the guilt feeling I felt heavily early on and I still feel it now. I should have called her instead of txting her when I haven't heard from her in a while, and especially when she wasn't feeling good. It's something I learned. Nothing is better than to speak in a tone of voice. I regret it so much. But many have said there was nothing I could do and it was only a matter of time.

Trust me Stay Strong, the guilt feelings are normal but not realistic. ALL of us that have lost someone close to us to suicide feel those feelings but the fact of the matter is that once the decision has been made by the person considering it, there's little anyone can say or do that will change it. Please don't ever blame yourself. I guarantee that's the last thing that Rose would want. You were probably one of her only bright spots in her life if what you say is true about her home situation. Please take comfort in knowing that you were truly there for her and if you need to talk, either vent here or seek some kind of counseling. It could do you a world of good just to talk it out and get some outside point of view. You done good

[windowface]

Uh... If she actually did cut her hair right before she died, then how did she have long hair in the videos? Mom put a wig on her?

[Kelly-Jane]

I think it was mentioned somewhere is here that she got hair extensions.

[nestlequikie]

Rose's story hurts my heart. RIP Rose.

You were good to her, StayStrong, from what we know... Thank you for being a friend.

[Bewitchingstorm]

I agree and you both bought up a very good point! She was half Persian and half Japanese. Funny though, because the month before her passing she always bring up whether I believed in reincarnation. She mentions that maybe we were reincarnated because we had so much in common in the weirdest things. I sometimes wonder if that was her exit from her depression. Regardless, I hope she rests in peace now.

That is so interesting, StayStrong. I know you mentioned previously that Rose was an old soul and I think this really demonstrates that. What a beautiful and loving friend you were and still are to her. I find it wonderful how you want to ensure everyone knows a bit more about her and what she was going through. RIP Rose...you were very much loved.

[Thong Nguyen]

I just watched that video and for the life of me I cannot imagine why any family member would want to watch that never mind record it. I can even see taking pictures of people in their caskets, beautiful or not, I'd rather remember them alive and happy.

I grew up on the same block as a creamatory in Middle Village, NY and my father was creamated there. There was a family room to say your last goodbye's and the casket is closed. Then you leave! It sucked for us because we only had to go down the block and we could watch the smoke from our stoop. That was bad enough.

I hate when young people die but suicides make me hurt more. These poor kids don't realize that they need time to work through their problems and things may get worse at first but soon getting better. I always tell my kids, there is nothing that is worth dying over, nothing.

RIP Sara. I hope your family and friends find peace.

I m glad they showed. because i got to say my final good bye to friend i probably never have again.

[Boston Babe 73]

I m glad they showed. because i got to say my final good bye to friend i probably never have again.

Welcome Thong. Sorry for your loss. Did they not have any kind of public service? That's so sad that the videos were the only way you got to say goodbye.

[missscarlett25]

StayStrong and Thong Nguyen, I am so sorry for your loss. StayStrong I appreciate your telling us more about her.

This story really hurts my heart. She was so young.
This might sound really cynical but I feel like so many times when someone dies there's always "that person" who almost seems to... enjoy?... the attention and ceremony following the death of a loved one. I have no idea if that makes any sense typed out, but the first thing that comes to mind is the very-much estranged ex-wife of a relative of mine who shot himself. They had been divorced for something like 15 years and there was no love lost between them; things were really ugly at one point and then there was just no relationship at all. But at the visitation, funeral, and burial his ex was front and center crying, fainting, etc. It was hard to concentrate on the actual ceremony, she was so distraught. Afterward she would regularly update her FB profile with "RIP" glittery animated stickers with his picture on them, or some long open letter to him... I dunno.

A good point made in this thread is that we shouldn't judge someone else's reaction to death and I know I'm slightly doing that here. But there's no denying Rose's mother wants everyone (literally, the public) to know she was right in the middle of it after Rose's death, picking out her clothes, pushing the button, etc.

[CBK1965]

You know some of you people are posting your childish opinions. Rose was a beautiful child and loved dearly. Her mother is a very loving person who was completely destroyed by Rose's death. He mother never victimized her and for individuals who don't even know them to be making these judgments and posting on a forum is just disgraceful!! If you have something positive to add or you want to share your grief that's fine, but stopping judging people you know nothing about!! Being a parent is difficult, being the parent of a teenager is trying, being the parent of a suicide is hell on earth!

[CBK1965]

Hey Stay Strong... I would love for you to contact me if you really knew Rose.... This whole this sound like made up crap. I know Sarah very well and this is nothing like her. She doesn't even drink!!

[Boston Babe 73]

Hello Sarah.

[Angiebla]

Hello Sarah.

It's not Sarah posting...its her made up friend.

Can I ask this "friend of Sarah's" why Sarah posted that shit on fb?

[dtfpaf798]

I m glad they showed. because i got to say my final good bye to friend i probably never have again.

Welcome Thong and I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Please don't think my comment was meant as being disrespectful.

[penmel]

I would say for anyone unless you live in a home day in and day out. You really can not assume the abuse did or did not happen. People chose to take their own lives due to they feel there is no other way. I would feel pretty confident saying something was certainly going on in this beautiful girls life, that made her feel there was no other way out, and no way to fix it. I did not know either mother or Rose. But for sure something lead her to her decision. As for greaving, people do deal with loss very differently that is for sure. But there is also sometimes the element of overwhelming guilt along with the grief. This I have seen with the Suicide of my best friend, then watching the guilt of her mother. And yes it was guilt that way over took the grief. Her mother posting the videos to me screams guilt. I watched them and just saw guilt. Before I ever read a post about abuse. The fact she tells people she died of heart attack also says guilt to me. You would donate part of her to make a difference, but you won't admit suicide to make a difference. Just my thought

[StayStrong]

Hey Stay Strong... I would love for you to contact me if you really knew Rose.... This whole this sound like made up crap. I know Sarah very well and this is nothing like her. She doesn't even drink!!

I have all the proof you can realistically ask for. I have her screens of her and her mother texting and the verbal abuse her mother said to her, including when her mother kicked her out of the house and basically will not help her along the way. This is such a deep and sad issue that not many people know about, but I was close enough to her for her to share towards the last day of her life. The only thing I cannot prove well is her mother punching her. The only proof I have of that is when I saw it and I went home and texted her if she was okay and talked about it through text.

[StayStrong]

I would say for anyone unless you live in a home day in and day out. You really can not assume the abuse did or did not happen. People chose to take their own lives due to they feel there is no other way. I would feel pretty confident saying something was certainly going on in this beautiful girls life, that made her feel there was no other way out, and no way to fix it. I did not know either mother or Rose. But for sure something lead her to her decision. As for greaving, people do deal with loss very differently that is for sure. But there is also sometimes the element of overwhelming guilt along with the grief. This I have seen with the Suicide of my best friend, then watching the guilt of her mother. And yes it was guilt that way over took the grief. Her mother posting the videos to me screams guilt. I watched them and just saw guilt. Before I ever read a post about abuse. The fact she tells people she died of heart attack also says guilt to me. You would donate part of her to make a difference, but you won't admit suicide to make a difference. Just my thought

My thoughts exactly!

[Gemini]

I have all the proof you can realistically ask for. I have her screens of her and her mother texting and the verbal abuse her mother said to her, including when her mother kicked her out of the house and basically will not help her along the way. This is such a deep and sad issue that not many people know about, but I was close enough to her for her to share towards the last day of her life. The only thing I cannot prove well is her mother punching her. The only proof I have of that is when I saw it and I went home and texted her if she was okay and talked about it through text.

That sounds pretty conclusive to me.

Also, its good she had someone in her corner like you, Stay Strong.