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Thread: Los Angeles model Lauren Wasser suing tampon maker after toxic shock syndrome led to her losing a leg

  1. #26
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  2. #27
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    I'm not a heavy bleeder fortunately.

  3. #28
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    This girl was wearing that tampon for days. She wore it to the party for who knows how long before, went home and slept all day and night, next day went to the hospital where it tested positive.

    I love my divacup.

    When I first started using tampons my aunt was like they're so comfortable the one time I even forgot I was wearing one! I went and stuck another up there and when I went to change that one I found the other. About 10 years later I'm still trying to figure out how she did that.

  4. #29
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashley951 View Post
    This girl was wearing that tampon for days. She wore it to the party for who knows how long before, went home and slept all day and night, next day went to the hospital where it tested positive.

    I love my divacup.

    When I first started using tampons my aunt was like they're so comfortable the one time I even forgot I was wearing one! I went and stuck another up there and when I went to change that one I found the other. About 10 years later I'm still trying to figure out how she did that.
    I actually know a couple of people who also did this or forgot to take it out before sex.

  5. #30
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    The funniest Amazon review I've ever read. I couldn't find the original Amazon link.


    So one of the many new devices I purchased for this trip was a Diva ?Moon Cup?. Since feminine hygine supplies would be hard to come by and waste-producing, I opted instead to buy a thing like a Barbie Deluxe Toilet Plunger, and stuff it up my hooha.

    The theory is that the cup catches your pan drippings, and you empty it a couple times a day, washing it with hippy soap, and reinserting. It presupposes you are enough of an Earth Mother to be OK not only with your monthly outpourings, but also with generally fossicking around in your flaps. Now, I am no stranger to gore. Nor am I squeamish about my delicate rose of delight, except that I have no such illusions about it and indeed am always reminded of nothing so much as stuffing an oddly-warm raw turkey. So, when after several weeks of teasing, the Period Fairy threatening to postpone the Communist Invasion until I was actually getting on the plane (I was about ready to scream and cry at some hapless unwary male just as a sacrifice to appease her) at last I greeted the rosy-fingered dawn and set about embarking on my new life as a eco-friendly Diva.




    The Moon Cup comes in two sizes; Size A, for youthful nymphs under 30 who have never given birth and have silken tresses and tinkling laughs and are all size 0, and size B, for Big Ol? Bitches like m?self, who have either spawned, or are so old (ie over 30) that they might as well have been poppin? them out like Duggar Donuts, because their sugar walls are now echoing corridors full of cobwebs and slackness. Of course the packaging phrases it more nicely, but I was miffed to see that despite having never replicated, I was still doomed to the Big Gulp size because of my age alone.

    So, chalice in hand, fingers washed, and let?s fold that thing like a taco (no, not THAT thing, the other thing!) and cram it up where only one man has gone before and even then not for a damn long time even when he WAS still around. I?m sure I imagined the rusty creaking sounds as I tried to shove something which was larger than anything previous (with the exception of various medical speculums which, I believe, were constructed by the same person who designed the Montlake Drawbridge)into the Gaping Maw.

    Now, you?re supposed to roll the cup up, smuggle it past the border, let it expand, then turn it clockwise (or counter clockwise, or then one way and another, stopping when you hear the click, or something?) anyway, you?re supposed to be able to turn this thing like a dial in there.?If the cup does not turn easily, you did it wrong? Oh, of course, I?ll just grasp hold of a thing about the size, shape, and slipperyness of the pointy end of a peeled hard-boiled egg, which is now buried in the meaty folds of my innermost femininity, which, I may add, are well-sluiced with the special effects from a Quentin Tarantino film, and spin that sucker like a dredel.


    There is, also, a small stem at the base of this cup, which, being made of the same slippery silicon and about a centimeter long, is about as helpful as providing a live, untrained earthworm for a handle. More on this later.

    So, rotate this thing in situ, to ensure a good ?seal? and a comfortable fit.

    Does. Not. Happen.

    Ladies (and gentlemen, although I hope for your sake none of you gentlemen are reading this), I tried. I hauled that thing in and out of there more times, and with much less joy, than Eeyore with his birthday present, and not once could I get that thing to ?turn easily?. I finally gave up, since it seemed, at one point, to be ?fully inflated? and more or less in the right place. Frankly I think that having left my furrow unplowed for so long, I?m not exactly the proper degree of hotdog-hallway that the instruction-writer was intending to address, but so be it. Let?s give this thing a whirl, if we can?t give it a twist.

    Fast forward a few hours in which I?ve done nothing much. To its credit, I don?t feel the presence of THE CUP at all, no discomfort, not even a vague sense of ?eugh? as I sometimes have when knowing all that stands between me and my khakis is a small cottony Dutch boy. In fact, I?m getting rather concerned that the Diva Cup has wormed its way in like some form of parasitic jellyfish and is now eagerly migrating up my fallopian tubes, with me all unknowing. Time to go fishing.




    And that is where I discover that, while it?s difficult to try and ?turn? a Diva Cup newly lodged in your sanctum sanctorum, it?s a freakin? log-fall compared to trying to recover said Cup after it has gotten comfortably settled in the downy folds of your blood-engorged tissues. Yes, indeed, if cram my fingers up there to the point of pain, I can just, tantilizingly, tickle the end of that goddamn silicone ?stem?. Grasp it? Not in hell.

    Of course the instructions say, if this happens, DO NOT PANIC. Well, thank god for that, because I was already running through the list of people I?d trust with a flashlight, a set of forceps, and an experience that would scar both of us for the rest of our lives. There were instructions for different positions, and ?bearing down? and so forth, which I tried, to no avail, and I was pretty sure that my ham-fisted efforts (ahem) were just making things worse on the ?swollen? front, so Diva and I took a break, and retired to our respective corners for an hour or so.

    Now I brought out my secret weapon: Beer. If, gods help me, I ever have to have a baby, I intend to be drunk off my ass for the delivery, and I surely hope that the Fairy Prince Unicorn Elvis who is my chosen Babydaddy will provide a bedside IV of godly ambrosia, or at least Jim Beam. But anyway, two beers and I?m good to go spelunking in quest of the Holy Grail once more.

    Either the beer, or the break, or the combination of all of these and squatting on the bathmat like a Neanderthal crapping, finally, produced enough of that goddamn ?stem? to grab (which was good, because I was dreading having use the kitchen tongs Up There or something) and, with a surprising amount of horrible suctioning ?discomfort?, the invader was routed! And, wonder of wonders, it was indeed partially filled. Not filled with DELICIOUS CANDY, no, but it did seem to have been, you know? -working-, before I so rudely dislodged it from its parasitic feeding. I felt a combination of grudging respect and intrigue, as one might upon meeting a foe worthy of their steel. Provided we could agree to disagree on the whole ?turn 360 degrees in place? aspect, perhaps this could indeed be a workable partnership. Better than bleeding into the Rupununi and attracting every caiman, pirahna, and candiru fish for fifty miles.

    But not without some boundaries first. I tied a ROPE to that stupid stem this time.

    Read more at http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/moo...D5jdw5QrG2f.99
    Last edited by bermstalker; 06-25-2015 at 03:03 AM.

  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    I actually know a couple of people who also did this or forgot to take it out before sex.
    My friend was telling me about how she inserted one, forgot it was there and then inserted another later...so somehow she was rocking 2 at once. She's probably going to be one of these threads one day.

  7. #32
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazydaze View Post
    My friend was telling me about how she inserted one, forgot it was there and then inserted another later...so somehow she was rocking 2 at once. She's probably going to be one of these threads one day.
    I don't understand how that shit happens. Before putting another one in I ALWAYS do a "finger inspection" looking for the string. Even if I didn't, I'm sure you'd feel the second one WAY on up there because.. Ouch.
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  8. #33
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't understand how that shit happens. Before putting another one in I ALWAYS do a "finger inspection" looking for the string. Even if I didn't, I'm sure you'd feel the second one WAY on up there because.. Ouch.
    It happened to me once, but I realized it right as I did it. I did the swipe but it kinda traveled way far up because it was one of those tiny ones just for spotting. It took a while to "find it" good enough to get it out though - caused a mild panic.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  9. #34
    Senior Member becoming's Avatar
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    Technically, she should really be suing her parents. It's their DNA that made her so stupid.

    That fucking cup is big. Tampons all the way. I change them regularly like a normal, non-idiot person, however.

  10. #35
    Senior Member songbirdsong's Avatar
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    Pretty girl, but lol at giving an interview to VICE.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    Just as I suspected. A ring of elderly pedophiles.
    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Love View Post
    Fucking piece of shit, fucking scum, internet ass holes. fucking ingrate no life having fat ass. you have no fucking clue at whats going on fuck tard shit for brains.

  11. #36
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    I love the cup because there's no garbage and it saves me money. However, as a small woman who isn't into guys, that thing can be painful to insert and remove. It gets your hands dirty too. But totally worth it.

  12. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by ebonydarkness View Post
    I love the cup because there's no garbage and it saves me money. However, as a small woman who isn't into guys, that thing can be painful to insert and remove. It gets your hands dirty too. But totally worth it.
    Sometimes I feel like I'm to dry for it lol. If it's to light of a flow it takes me a few tries and sometimes I give up cause it starts to hurt. I make sure the cups wet but my hands dry and sometimes that helps but not always.

  13. #38
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    I understand why this is an all girl thread
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Roger View Post
    Because they are probably not ghetto and hood like me.

  14. #39
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Yeah I'm a tampon girl. But my periods are light so I wear a pad at night.

    Again...she just dumb.

  15. #40
    Cranjis McBasketball Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    When I had periods I only used tampons. I fucking hate pads. Nope nope nope.
    Same here! Pads are the worst. It feels like you're wearing a diaper.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??

  16. #41
    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    😂
    I don't think she's beautiful at all. She's just an idiot!

    "I'm more beautiful than I've ever been because I've experienced so many things, and I can relate to so many different people," she told TODAY. "And you know, it's just made me a better person."

    http://www.today.com/health/lauren-w...e-makes-t74341

  17. #42
    Senior Member marshmallow's Avatar
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    maybe they could put bells on the strings so that when you sit or squat the tinkling of the bells reminds you to pull the damn string.

    I am super glad I'm too old for that cup thingie. Life was hard enough with cardboard tubes to work with, I'd have failed miserably with a plastic snow cone holder.
    Marshmallow here is the one I liken to Ed Gein... Originally Posted by Heartbroken1


  18. #43
    Senior Member daisylane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    maybe they could put bells on the strings so that when you sit or squat the tinkling of the bells reminds you to pull the damn string.

    I am super glad I'm too old for that cup thingie. Life was hard enough with cardboard tubes to work with, I'd have failed miserably with a plastic snow cone holder.
    I recently dabbled with the cup, it's pretty sweet - but... my review is in the preemie thread, it's a bit graphic
    Quote Originally Posted by Lazarus View Post
    gangsta rap does not help the youth
    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post
    DONT MAKE ME FUCK YOUR BITCH THAT PUSSY POPPIN

  19. #44
    Senior Member MrBoddy2005's Avatar
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    Oh Holy CHRIST. This Bitch Won't Have A Leg To Stand On In Court
    Oh God, Stop The Voices *SCREAM*

  20. #45
    Sana sana colita de rana beli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gawna View Post
    Roses are red, violets are blue, seriously where is the fucking ring I gave Julie and ask her mom about the flowers
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    In all fairness, we have no idea how big this dude's cock was.

  21. #46
    Senior Member MrBoddy2005's Avatar
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    Leaves Me To Wonder What Else She Leaves Up Her Pussoir For Weeks At A Time
    Oh God, Stop The Voices *SCREAM*

  22. #47
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    There's like a Million warnings all over the box and within the instructions inside. I don't understand how she can win this case.
    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    I thought the exact same thing. Poor Brennen Tammons.
    Oh well, back to gum.
    ....or exchanging Puke's wang for spicy nuts.
    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    I know, right? What the fuck, puke? Willing to take in Boston, an Irish dude and like, 17 dogs but not Ron? poor Ron.

  23. #48
    Senior Member hamdinger125's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrBoddy2005 View Post
    Oh Holy CHRIST. This Bitch Won't Have A Leg To Stand On In Court
    Well, she will have ONE leg to stand on.

    I'll see myself out.

  24. #49
    Senior Member daisylane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    There's like a Million warnings all over the box and within the instructions inside. I don't understand how she can win this case.
    I remember my teacher in primary school even yelling at us about it! Look, you can forget, I'm sure (so far so good), but you can't SUE for this, it's SO WELL DOCUMENTED!

    As a kid I had nightmares ffs
    Quote Originally Posted by Lazarus View Post
    gangsta rap does not help the youth
    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post
    DONT MAKE ME FUCK YOUR BITCH THAT PUSSY POPPIN

  25. #50
    Senior Member Kelly-Jane's Avatar
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    HA HA ! Me too, i more or less thought if i left it in one minute to long i would drop dead 😂😂

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