Question for those who suffer with depression:
I know one has to deal with depression pretty much forever--like alcoholism or drug addiction--it's never fully cured, unless you are lucky.
Does that mean that suicidal tendencies are a pretty much forever thing, too?
Serious question.
That elderly suicide article was good, but sad.
My ex's aunt was in her late 40's early 50's and she committed suicide a few years ago. Everybody was shocked, she was a principal at the best elementary school in town, she was always in golf tournaments, she just seemed like a really happy person. She was a lesbian and had been in a relationship for years, all her friends and family knew, but she was afraid of the school finding out, so that was ultimately why she killed herself. She was tired of hiding and being afraid of losing her job, which they said they never would have done and they have no idea why she was scared of that happening.
But when she shot herself, she put a note on the door for her mom that said not to come in alone too.
Hi everyone. I am a longtime lurker, but first time poster and this topic really got to me. I suffer from bi-polar disorder.....it is really bad. I am 24 live at home, cant go to school, cant go to work, and can barely function at or during social events. I joined the military at 17 and had a very hard time with that, and it just really messed me up. I got discharged in 2001 from the military for having a personality disorder. I always had issues with depression and knew something wasnt right, but I continued to work amazing jobs, meet new people. I eventually totally broke down. In tears, refusing to work, etc. I refused to take medicine or go talk to a doctor because I thought it was stupid.....truth is.....by eventually going it probably saved my life. I worked for Panda Express in 2006 and was really inspired by my managers to change my outlook on life, and that gave me the courage to actually go and talk to someone. Sure, it was very hard but man it felt great to get it out. You have to be sure to not hold back. Cry, and let all your emotions out. One thing that really upset me is once I poured out my heart in a Facebook blog and none of my 150+ friends on there even bothereed to read it or leave me a message of hope. My problem is that I have no outlet for my aggression or feelings. I dont have the confidence to date, I dont drink at all, dont do drugs, I am not religious.....so I hold a ton of stuff inside.
All I want to say to those out there that are depressed and suffering is it is a long road to recovery, but u need to remain vigilant. You have to get yourself out there and speak about the issues you are having. You have to try medication after medication, sometimes for a while until you find the right one. I am still going through this. I have been on: Lexapro, Abilify, Geodon, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Wellbutrin, Lamictal, and Clonazepam. What helped me is to write down your feelings, and someone here even mentioned that too. Keep a journal daily and rate ur day 1-10, and share it with a therapist. If you arent a fan of the therapist at first you can attend local support groups that are free usually offered by hospitals. They are full of people of all ages going through the same stuff.
We all have great potential to do good in the world, and I know to some people the world is a sh**ty place but unfortunately we are here and have to try to get by. Although I think about suicide tons I am strong willed and could never do that to my parents. It would just tear them apart.
If any of you are having trouble please please please post on here or message some of us going through the same issues. I know it took me years to be able to seek therapy and get medical treatment, but if you are depressed and suicidal you have to talk about it. There are tons of us out there that feel the same way and we can all help each other.
You also need to be diagnosed, and dont be ashamed to have a mental illness. Tons of us do. It is not an easy road, but suicide is definitely not an option. Also, watch Oprah.....from time to time she will have amazing specials on that will feature celebrity guests that are just like us. There is also help for those that feel they are mentally disabled in the form of SSDI, or Social Security Disability Income. This works for people with mental conditions as well as physical disabilities. I would not recommend applying for it if u are going to use it as a crutch, but mainly temporarily to get your feet back on the ground. It is a tedious process to go through and apply, but if you are in a bad financial situation or have bills and ur condition keeps you from holding a steady job, you are entitled to it. I left Panda Express in March of this year, tried to work another job, and had a breakdown. Than I heard about this. All of your states have offices that support this and there are websites with more information.
Sorry if this post was all kinda of random stuff, I tend to do that. I also repeat certain things.
Also: Warning for some people: There might be people that try to take advantage of you here on the internet or in real life because you are depressed and they may encourage you to do bad things.....DO NOT listen to them, and cut off contact immediately. Suicide pacts are not cool. Period.
Add me to myspace, I need more people to talk to :)
^^^ Thank you for sharing. That was a really wonderful post. 
A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
I second that emotion. Welcome.
MercsInc, thanks for coming out of the woodwork. Welcome aboard.
With all this talk of thinking outside the box, I am beginning to wonder what's left inside the box. -Me
[quote author=freakunique link=topic=6444.msg559717#msg559717 date=1191607451]
Question for those who suffer with depression:
I know one has to deal with depression pretty much forever--like alcoholism or drug addiction--it's never fully cured, unless you are lucky.
Does that mean that suicidal tendencies are a pretty much forever thing, too?
Serious question.
[/quote]
i started showing signs for depression in 3rd grade. by the 7th grade i started having frequent sucidal thoughts not exactly tendencies. im now 19 and for the past four years or so i think about suicide constantly and how easy it would be just to float away. i've tried about 8 different medications... 2 different forms of therapy. 3 counselors... one of them was amazing but she gave up on me beginning of jan of last year because she couldnt help me anymore.
i have over 50 scars on both my wrists. i stopped cutting myself after i cut too deep around 8 pm and bled for 12 hours. i was not aware of the situation. i was just... uh gone. i guess high on blood loss and pain. i noticed it was morning when i came to. it freaked me out so i stopped.
im not goth nor am i emo or anything.
depression is a constant thing for me. it really is a constant ache in my entire body. its very draining. i have little or no energy constantly and have no motivation, energy, or excitement. i cant figure out emotions and am very socially awkward. although my friends forgive me.
basically i have to force myself to have "fun" since i cant really tell what it is. i mean... hanging out watching a movie laughing is fun... i guess...
recently for the past couple years ive had no sex drive or sexual desires what so ever. i have had sex but i didnt really enjoy it.
every day is another exciting time for me.
i called a suicide hotline once and they put me on hold for 5 minutes then hung up on
it made me smile. but i called back and told the guy. he was really nice and helped me calm down. a lot of people i talk to cannot fathom my depression. and i understand. i dont even understand it. its just fucked up i guess.
if you have any questions just PM me or email me or post here... ill be your depression guinea pig
[quote author=Sober Hungry link=topic=6444.msg563271#msg563271 date=1191902168]
i started showing signs for depression in 3rd grade. by the 7th grade i started having frequent sucidal thoughts not exactly tendencies. im now 19 and for the past four years or so i think about suicide constantly and how easy it would be just to float away. i've tried about 8 different medications... 2 different forms of therapy. 3 counselors... one of them was amazing but she gave up on me beginning of jan of last year because she couldnt help me anymore.
i have over 50 scars on both my wrists. i stopped cutting myself after i cut too deep around 8 pm and bled for 12 hours. i was not aware of the situation. i was just... uh gone. i guess high on blood loss and pain. i noticed it was morning when i came to. it freaked me out so i stopped.
im not goth nor am i emo or anything.
depression is a constant thing for me. it really is a constant ache in my entire body. its very draining. i have little or no energy constantly and have no motivation, energy, or excitement. i cant figure out emotions and am very socially awkward. although my friends forgive me.
basically i have to force myself to have "fun" since i cant really tell what it is. i mean... hanging out watching a movie laughing is fun... i guess...
recently for the past couple years ive had no sex drive or sexual desires what so ever. i have had sex but i didnt really enjoy it.
every day is another exciting time for me.
i called a suicide hotline once and they put me on hold for 5 minutes then hung up on
it made me smile. but i called back and told the guy. he was really nice and helped me calm down. a lot of people i talk to cannot fathom my depression. and i understand. i dont even understand it. its just fucked up i guess.
if you have any questions just PM me or email me or post here... ill be your depression guinea pig
[/quote]
That's so horrible, but also kind of funny. It's what happens when high schools make those phone lines an elective for credit.
You slept with mike so he would ban me. change your sig..the pretentious look how hipster face is so old ooh you like guys with glasses..ooooh
[quote author=Sober Hungry link=topic=6444.msg563271#msg563271 date=1191902168]
i started showing signs for depression in 3rd grade. by the 7th grade i started having frequent sucidal thoughts not exactly tendencies. im now 19 and for the past four years or so i think about suicide constantly and how easy it would be just to float away. i've tried about 8 different medications... 2 different forms of therapy. 3 counselors... one of them was amazing but she gave up on me beginning of jan of last year because she couldnt help me anymore.
i have over 50 scars on both my wrists. i stopped cutting myself after i cut too deep around 8 pm and bled for 12 hours. i was not aware of the situation. i was just... uh gone. i guess high on blood loss and pain. i noticed it was morning when i came to. it freaked me out so i stopped.
im not goth nor am i emo or anything.
depression is a constant thing for me. it really is a constant ache in my entire body. its very draining. i have little or no energy constantly and have no motivation, energy, or excitement. i cant figure out emotions and am very socially awkward. although my friends forgive me.
basically i have to force myself to have "fun" since i cant really tell what it is. i mean... hanging out watching a movie laughing is fun... i guess...
recently for the past couple years ive had no sex drive or sexual desires what so ever. i have had sex but i didnt really enjoy it.
every day is another exciting time for me.
i called a suicide hotline once and they put me on hold for 5 minutes then hung up on
it made me smile. but i called back and told the guy. he was really nice and helped me calm down. a lot of people i talk to cannot fathom my depression. and i understand. i dont even understand it. its just fucked up i guess.
if you have any questions just PM me or email me or post here... ill be your depression guinea pig
[/quote]
Thanks for posting your experience...
I hear what your saying, and it sounds lik your pain is overhwhelming.
It CAN get better, but it's a process
At 19, your individual chemistry may just be settling down enough for certain medications that wreent helpful then to be helpful now.
There are also personality disorders that can cause these symptoms, and require a different mindset to overcome.
Please please just remember that it can get better, keep reaching out.
The people here are wonderful, always know you have an ear here if you are ever in need.
Be well.
You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
Need advice from family and friends of suicide survivors-
I'm taking a risk on the consequences of posting private info but feel there are many here who can help. Wednesday my mom attempted suicide. She is now in the hospital and will be for at least 3 to 5 days, more if they feel she's still a danger to herself. We've known for several months that she was depressed but never imagined she was this desperate. She raised me and my sister alone for many years and is the rock of our family. She's only 59, in good health, employed and doesn't drink or do drugs. In retrospect, I can see she exhibited several of the classic warning signs, especially in the last week.
As the eldest sibling and the most normal (relatively speaking) I am in the position of having to handle not only her financial & household obligations but also assist my sisters with their emotions (both are guilt ridden). My mom is married but my step-father is extremely hard of hearing and not much help. This is in addition to taking care of my immediate family as a single parent and my job. I am having trouble coping with staying strong for everyone else with no clue as to how long this will go on.
Does anyone know how long, with proper psychiatric care, the healing process could take? Will she be able to take anti-depressants or anxiety medication? Now that she's attempted it once will she be at a greater risk for future attempts? Upon her release do we treat her with kid gloves and avoid the subject? Do we shelter her from unpleasant news/reality to protect her? How do we stop blaming ourselves (and each other)? The list just goes on and on.
Please don't misjudge my intentions. I want my mommy back healthy and happy and am willing to do whatever and for however long it takes to ensure that happens. I would just rest a little easier if I had some idea what the future holds. Thanks in advance for whatever advice you can provide.
Beth
[quote author=ESTONE66 link=topic=6444.msg586074#msg586074 date=1193429070]
Need advice from family and friends of suicide survivors-
I'm taking a risk on the consequences of posting private info but feel there are many here who can help. Wednesday my mom attempted suicide. She is now in the hospital and will be for at least 3 to 5 days, more if they feel she's still a danger to herself. We've known for several months that she was depressed but never imagined she was this desperate. She raised me and my sister alone for many years and is the rock of our family. She's only 59, in good health, employed and doesn't drink or do drugs. In retrospect, I can see she exhibited several of the classic warning signs, especially in the last week.
As the eldest sibling and the most normal (relatively speaking) I am in the position of having to handle not only her financial & household obligations but also assist my sisters with their emotions (both are guilt ridden). My mom is married but my step-father is extremely hard of hearing and not much help. This is in addition to taking care of my immediate family as a single parent and my job. I am having trouble coping with staying strong for everyone else with no clue as to how long this will go on.
Does anyone know how long, with proper psychiatric care, the healing process could take? Will she be able to take anti-depressants or anxiety medication? Now that she's attempted it once will she be at a greater risk for future attempts? Upon her release do we treat her with kid gloves and avoid the subject? Do we shelter her from unpleasant news/reality to protect her? How do we stop blaming ourselves (and each other)? The list just goes on and on.
Please don't misjudge my intentions. I want my mommy back healthy and happy and am willing to do whatever and for however long it takes to ensure that happens. I would just rest a little easier if I had some idea what the future holds. Thanks in advance for whatever advice you can provide.
Beth
[/quote]
Oh, Beth I'm so sorry you and your family going through this. I can't really offer any advice except to say I don't think y'all should avoid the subject at all.
And she won't necessarily attempt it again--hopefully, it was a desperate cry for help and she'll now receive the help she needs to cope with whatever issues she's dealing with.
I'd encourage you and your siblings to get counseling also.
I know there are a few suicide survivors here--I'm sure they'll be more than glad to give you any guidance they can when they see your post. Be on the lookout for PM's.
A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
Beth I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this. As someone who has attempted suicide I would suggest not avoiding the subject. My friends have always been very open about my depression and overdose and I think that has helped me. Knowing that they are able to discuss it rationally means that when I have a problem, I have people I can go to.
When I came home I just wanted to be treated as normal. I was terrified that everyone would treat me differently.
As nads said, hopefully she will now get the help she needs and this won't happen again. I had psychotherapy to learn why I feel the way I do and how to cope with things without letting them get so bad again.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or just want to talk.
Thanks to you all for the advice and concern. I hadn't even thought about how concerned she must be with the thought of us treating her differently when she comes home. I spoke with her tonight and she actually laughed ! It was a great thing to hear.
It was with much trepidation that I even posted this. The care and concern you guys have shown proves I'm in the right place.
[quote author=ESTONE66 link=topic=6444.msg586513#msg586513 date=1193452181]
Thanks to you all for the advice and concern. I hadn't even thought about how concerned she must be with the thought of us treating her differently when she comes home. I spoke with her tonight and she actually laughed
It was with much trepidation that I even posted this. The care and concern you guys have shown proves I'm in the right place.
[/quote]
Hang in there. Your concern and respect for your mother shows you will be able to navigate this difficult time. Reaching out was the best thing you could have done. 
I need to get my younger brother committed or something...he needs medication and he has no money, but he has these massive bouts of depression that are most often triggered when he drinks. He had assault rifles that my parents seized, and my dad said he had a gun to his head once when I was not around. I dont think he wants to die, he just wants to get better and the shrink he went to before was more interested in telling him about the new Porsche he bought his son than helping my brother, and he just gave up...
[quote author=Ponch link=topic=6444.msg655810#msg655810 date=1197795071]
I need to get my younger brother committed or something...he needs medication and he has no money, but he has these massive bouts of depression that are most often triggered when he drinks. He had assault rifles that my parents seized, and my dad said he had a gun to his head once when I was not around. I dont think he wants to die, he just wants to get better and the shrink he went to before was more interested in telling him about the new Porsche he bought his son than helping my brother, and he just gave up...
[/quote]
:-o
That's terrible.
Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.<br />
[quote author=bekkyboo1985 link=topic=6444.msg655829#msg655829 date=1197799845]
:-o
That's terrible.
[/quote]
Yeah really! Even worse is that it led to him getting fired, losing his insurance and they wont give him unemployment, saying he was faking it or something. I know people who cheated on time cards, threatened to kill someone at work and they had no problem getting unemployment...a sick world we live in...
:-( How sad at the amount of suicides I see posted on here lately. I take all threats seriously as Ive had 2 people in my life take their own lives. Thanks for putting the info out there!!
Man..I was just randomly paging through this site. Sadly, in spite of all of the many accidental deaths through chance or folly I am always extra saddened by the suicide deaths. In my past I have often though about death when times were tough, but I was never brave enough to take a leap in the dark. When I read the bios of these young people who have chosen death as a way out it takes me back to my days when I often thought of how suicide would be a poetic expression of my existentialist dilemmas. However, having passed on this option and fast forwarding to the present it pains me to see such beautiful and talented young people taking their own lives. nevertheless, I often recall the old proverb, attributed to native Americans, about how to know a person you must first "walk a mile in their moccassins."
Louis Ortega
Thank you for pushing this!
Losing 2 very close family friends in less than 2 months (11.02.07 & 12.27.07) makes me want to try and help save other mourners from feeling like there was something else they could have done....
NEVER let anyone go a day without letting them know HOW LOVED THEY ARE and that THERE ARE BRIGHTER DAYS AHEAD!!!!!! Most suicides are because they feel like they are not loved deeply enough to be missed.
Let's get this out!
[quote author=The Friend Kari link=topic=6444.msg677507#msg677507 date=1199225430]
Thank you for pushing this!
Losing 2 very close family friends in less than 2 months (11.02.07 & 12.27.07) makes me want to try and help save other mourners from feeling like there was something else they could have done....
NEVER let anyone go a day without letting them know HOW LOVED THEY ARE and that THERE ARE BRIGHTER DAYS AHEAD!!!!!! Most suicides are because they feel like they are not loved deeply enough to be missed.
Let's get this out!
[/quote]
Thanks for posting in this thread as well as Teresa and Ashley's. I was the one who wanted it to exist, so I'm not as heartless as you may have decided earlier. People need to be sure their friends get help if the warning signs are there.
Again, sorry for the loss of your friends, it's heartbreaking.
There's a suicidal forum that I posted on one time in a fit of despair. Some people PM'ed me after I posted about how they should kill thmeselves. I feel so very bad for these people. I know how they feel and I feel stupid for trying to talk sense into them, but...I can't just read someone's post and let them think they're all alone. :-(
You're so nice to care. But sadly, there's nothing to be said. The only joy I have is from knowing there will be an end to this.
I do fear for one friend, but she is strong and will move on; the world will keep turning. Discoveries will continue to happen, society will continue to evolve, and my family will continue to live. My death, in the long run, will beneficial (more natural resources, etc…)
But, thank you for your concern.
Sooo, soo sad.
A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.
I'm surprised that this site has an article called suicide prevention. Seeing as it could actually be the cause of loved ones committing suicide. What happens on the internet to destroy people's lives after their loved ones have died is asolutely out of control.
[quote author=Lynda Stiff link=topic=6444.msg713853#msg713853 date=1201706117]
I'm surprised that this site has an article called suicide prevention. Seeing as it could actually be the cause of loved ones committing suicide. What happens on the internet to destroy people's lives after their loved ones have died is asolutely out of control.
[/quote] How do you figure that this site could cause suicide? That's a pretty strong accusation and a huge responsibility for a measly website.
"Since change is constant, you wonder if people crave death because it's the only way they can get anything really finished." -Chuck Palahniuk
Originally Posted by Nancy Drew
I love everyone except Amy.Amy's taste > Tara's
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