Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

[blunt.force.trauma]

[quote author=vaga link=topic=6444.msg403314#msg403314 date=1181279743]
I wish I could take you all in my arms and hug you. I'd take your head on my lap and stroke your hair until you feel okay.  Please feel better. It's okay. Remember tomorrow is another day to find another way. That no matter what theirs always hope. Don't be afraid to reach out. Don't feel alone cos you're never alone. I love you all. Believe in yourself. Tell yourself you are strong enough to go thru what ever it is you're going thru. Seek out others in the same situation as you. Just remember you are loved. You are not alone. 
[/quote]

Sometimes, it's just too hard to even begin to evision tomorrow.  It really is.  Because you know, in your heart, that tomorrow will be a repeat of today.

I really feel many problems that have cropped up relating suicide to anti-depressants are because sometimes people are so depressed they can't even get up the energy to follow through the actual action of holding the gun or getting the razors.  You start to feel a little better, bingo.  That's why it's so important to be followed closely when starting any regimen. 

[Hellbettie]

I'd just like to say, by all means, if you're on any medicine for depression or anxiety don't ever stop them cold turkey, unless of course you are pregnant.  I did that and I had overwhelming suicidal thoughts.  It's very true that the feelings will not last forever.  The more people you talk about that with, the better.

[blunt.force.trauma]

[quote author=Morbid Curiousity link=topic=6444.msg437439#msg437439 date=1183068846]
:|
[/quote]

MC, I'm assuming you deleted the crack whore's comment and just left what you quoted?

What the hell is that?  Looks like crack baby is in the wrong profession.  Have you ever looked into the lucrative field of grave digger?  Your compassion and empathy appear to be boundless.  Though I'm sure your school guidance counselor has already pointed you in that direction.

[MorbidCuriousity]

[quote author=blunt.force.trauma link=topic=6444.msg437445#msg437445 date=1183069211]
MC, I'm assuming you deleted the crack whore's comment and just left what you quoted?

What the hell is that?  Looks like crack baby is in the wrong profession.  Have you ever looked into the lucrative field of grave digger?  Your compassion and empathy appear to be boundless.  Though I'm sure your school guidance counselor has already pointed you in that direction.
[/quote]

Deleted mine as well.

[crackbabyjezus]

yeah whatever

[MorbidCuriousity]

Ugh, banned.

[blunt.force.trauma]

[quote author=Morbid Curiousity link=topic=6444.msg437456#msg437456 date=1183069778]
Ugh, banned.


[/quote]

Karma for you, M'dear. 

[hunibuni]

[quote author=blunt.force.trauma link=topic=6444.msg437445#msg437445 date=1183069211]
MC, I'm assuming you deleted the crack whore's comment and just left what you quoted?

What the hell is that?  Looks like crack baby is in the wrong profession.  Have you ever looked into the lucrative field of grave digger?  Your compassion and empathy appear to be boundless.  Though I'm sure your school guidance counselor has already pointed you in that direction.
[/quote]

I don't know what was said by crackheadbabyjesus and more to the point I don't care.

What I do know is this: Many people know that my brother completed his suicide on July 10, 2003. There were no outward signs. There was only a letter left to me. He shot himself in my backyard with a shotgun. He asked that no one "let his little sister find me this way." He never asked for my forgiveness nor my understanding. The letter was a simple explanation of why he had completed the act. I have never been angry or bitter and there are those on this board who know me well enough to tell you that I am not, nor will I ever be over this loss. He was my greatest friend and confidant.

Normally I will make a small comment on a suicide posting and walk away without reading very much of the thread. One of the first posts I ever made was in the hate mail section and had to do with the media saying that posting suicides encouraged others to complete the act. I am tired of people who have not suffered this grief standing up and saying that someone who commits the act of suicide is mentally unstable and immensely selfish. The disease that killed my brother was depression. The method might have been a firearm, but depression was the catalyst that brought everything into sharp focus for him.

The hardest part is that I could not save him. He knew that I would have gladly stepped in front of that shell if I could have relieved his pain. There was nothing too hard nor any place too far. He knew without reservation how much that I loved him. I could not save him from this disease. If you care to look on the Suicide Wall you will find his memorial there and the cause of death is listed as Depression. There is no shame in the act. The shame lies in the silence.

So before you stand back and judge the completion of a suicide, my advice is that you examine the surrounding facts and then think before you speak. There are suicide survivors here that will call you to account for your postings. Be ready to defend them.

[MorbidCuriousity]

Thank you for sharing that. 

[The Hat]

In 2001 my girlfriend committed (or completed) suicide. I was the one who found her after she had hanged herself. Although she had suffered depression due to a number of things in her life, her passing still came as a shock to people who didn't know her more closely, and affected a lot of people. Every year on her anniversary we put on a Suicide Prevention Fundraiser at her favourite pub in Wollongong to raise money for 3 charities that do work with suicide prevention in the area. For those who knew her, it's a way to remember her and be around many others who knew her. But it also acts as a night for others who have lost people close to them. It gives them a feeling that they're doing something towards not only healing themselves but helping to prevent such hurt in other, both those who are suicidal and the people around them who will be hurt by their passing.

Anyway we call the night HOPE and although it's a low key affair, it always has a good turnout and doesn't so much come down to the amount of money raised, but more to set by example that there's a public movement against a very definite problem. For anyone who would like to add it to their myspace, here's the address.

http://www.myspace.com/hope_gig

This is a fight we have to keep up. It's not always public in people, and comes down to others being able to spot the signs. Support doesn't really cost anything, and there's no greater feeling than saving a life.

Pete

[turtleande]

I'm sorry for your loss, Hat.

Thank you for sharing. 

[DreamRai]

[quote author=Brittles link=topic=6444.msg369725#msg369725 date=1179692424]
i have a question...is anybody here a nurse or in the medical field at all?
because i just got into nursing school, and for my "health examination" they ask questions about your mental health. mine is not very good at the moment, but i am really reluctant to say anything about it or go to a counselor or something bc i think they have to put your name and info on file, and im scared somehow or another it'll get back to my school and then they wont let me be in the program! like bc i think about hurting myself, that i would hurt someone else (which would NEVER happen). is this true? can you be excluded from a medical field bc of depression or similar problems?
[/quote]

Well I'm still in college but as a psychology major our professors have always told us that NO ONE can impede the completion of your academic career due to mental health or any other type of health issue, as long as you don't break the guidelines of your university or school -you know cheat on tests, steal answers- that sort of thing.

Mental health issues among people who work in the medical field is not something new at all. You should not be ashamed or scared about it. My mom worked as a nurse for over 25 years and of those 25 years she spent half of them under treatment for severe depression and anxiety. It never affected her capability of doing her job and most all of her co-workers had gone to at least one session of therapy with a psychiatrists.

[miss*chelle*chelle]

I googled this this morning, and there is some very helpful information here.  Some is similar to what Ren posted earlier, but I felt like there was enough said differently that it would be worth posting it all.  This is a long post, but it has a lot of info well worth reading.

There is one thing that I would like to add to this list, as a parent of someone who has committed suicide, and that's this: GET INFORMED!!!  GET INFORMED, AND KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN ... Someone's life may be depending on it ...

Nine Ways to Help a Suicidal Person, and Suicide Warning Signs

What Can I Do To Help Someone Who May Be Suicidal?

1. Take it seriously.
Myth: “The people who talk about it don't do it.” Studies have found that more than 75% of all completed suicides did things in the few weeks or months prior to their deaths to indicate to others that they were in deep despair. Anyone expressing suicidal feelings needs immediate attention.

Myth: “Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy.” Perhaps 10% of all suicidal people are psychotic or have delusional beliefs about reality. Most suicidal people suffer from the recognized mental illness of depression; but many depressed people adequately manage their daily affairs. The absence of “craziness” does not mean the absence of suicide risk.

“Those problems weren't enough to commit suicide over,” is often said by people who knew a completed suicide. You cannot assume that because you feel something is not worth being suicidal about, that the person you are with feels the same way. It is not how bad the problem is, but how badly it's hurting the person who has it.

2. Remember: suicidal behavior is a cry for help.
Myth: “If a someone is going to kill himself, nothing can stop him.” The fact that a person is still alive is sufficient proof that part of him wants to remain alive. The suicidal person is ambivalent - part of him wants to live and part of him wants not so much death as he wants the pain to end. It is the part that wants to live that tells another “I feel suicidal.” If a suicidal person turns to you it is likely that he believes that you are more caring, more informed about coping with misfortune, and more willing to protect his confidentiality. No matter how negative the manner and content of his talk, he is doing a positive thing and has a positive view of you.

3. Be willing to give and get help sooner rather than later.
Suicide prevention is not a last minute activity. All textbooks on depression say it should be reached as soon as possible. Unfortunately, suicidal people are afraid that trying to get help may bring them more pain: being told they are stupid, foolish, sinful, or manipulative; rejection; punishment; suspension from school or job; written records of their condition; or involuntary commitment. You need to do everything you can to reduce pain, rather than increase or prolong it. Constructively involving yourself on the side of life as early as possible will reduce the risk of suicide.

4. Listen.
Give the person every opportunity to unburden his troubles and ventilate his feelings. You don't need to say much and there are no magic words. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it. Give him relief from being alone with his pain; let him know you are glad he turned to you. Patience, sympathy, acceptance. Avoid arguments and advice giving.

5. ASK: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?”
Myth: “Talking about it may give someone the idea.” People already have the idea; suicide is constantly in the news media. If you ask a despairing person this question you are doing a good thing for them: you are showing him that you care about him, that you take him seriously, and that you are willing to let him share his pain with you. You are giving him further opportunity to discharge pent up and painful feelings. If the person is having thoughts of suicide, find out how far along his ideation has progressed.

6. If the person is acutely suicidal, do not leave him alone.
If the means are present, try to get rid of them. Detoxify the home.

7. Urge professional help.
Persistence and patience may be needed to seek, engage and continue with as many options as possible. In any referral situation, let the person know you care and want to maintain contact.

8. No secrets.
It is the part of the person that is afraid of more pain that says “Don't tell anyone.” It is the part that wants to stay alive that tells you about it. Respond to that part of the person and persistently seek out a mature and compassionate person with whom you can review the situation. (You can get outside help and still protect the person from pain causing breaches of privacy.) Do not try to go it alone. Get help for the person and for yourself. Distributing the anxieties and responsibilities of suicide prevention makes it easier and much more effective.

9. From crisis to recovery.
Most people have suicidal thoughts or feelings at some point in their lives; yet less than 2% of all deaths are suicides. Nearly all suicidal people suffer from conditions that will pass with time or with the assistance of a recovery program. There are hundreds of modest steps we can take to improve our response to the suicidal and to make it easier for them to seek help. Taking these modest steps can save many lives and reduce a great deal of human suffering.


WARNING SIGNS

Conditions associated with increased risk of suicide

• [li]Death or terminal illness of relative or friend.[/li]
  [li]Divorce, separation, broken relationship, stress on family.[/li]
  [li]Loss of health (real or imaginary).[/li]
  [li]Loss of job, home, money, status, self-esteem, personal security.[/li]
  [li]Alcohol or drug abuse.[/li]
  [li]Depression. In the young depression may be masked by hyperactivity or acting out behavior. In the elderly it may be incorrectly attributed to the natural effects of aging. Depression that seems to quickly disappear for no apparent reason is cause for concern. The early stages of recovery from depression can be a high risk period. Recent studies have associated anxiety disorders with increased risk for attempted suicide.[/li]

Emotional and behavioral changes associated with suicide

• [li]Overwhelming Pain: pain that threatens to exceed the person's pain coping capacities. Suicidal feelings are often the result of longstanding problems that have been exacerbated by recent precipitating events. The precipitating factors may be new pain or the loss of pain coping resources.[/li]
  [li]Hopelessness: the feeling that the pain will continue or get worse; things will never get better.[/li]
  [li]Powerlessness: the feeling that one's resources for reducing pain are exhausted.[/li]
  [li]Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, self-hatred, “no one cares”. Fears of losing control, harming self or others.[/li]
  [li]Personality becomes sad, withdrawn, tired, apathetic, anxious, irritable, or prone to angry outbursts.[/li]
  [li]Declining performance in school, work, or other activities. (Occasionally the reverse: someone who volunteers for extra duties because they need to fill up their time.)[/li]
  [li]Social isolation; or association with a group that has different moral standards than those of the family.[/li]
  [li]Declining interest in sex, friends, or activities previously enjoyed.[/li]
  [li]Neglect of personal welfare, deteriorating physical appearance.[/li]
  [li]Alterations in either direction in sleeping or eating habits.[/li]
  [li](Particularly in the elderly) Self-starvation, dietary mismanagement, disobeying medical instructions.[/li]
  [li]Difficult times: holidays, anniversaries, and the first week after discharge from a hospital; just before and after diagnosis of a major illness; just before and during disciplinary proceedings. Undocumented status adds to the stress of a crisis. [/li]

Suicidal Behavior

• [li]Previous suicide attempts, “mini-attempts”.[/li]
  [li]Explicit statements of suicidal ideation or feelings.[/li]
  [li]Development of suicidal plan, acquiring the means, “rehearsal” behavior, setting a time for the attempt.[/li]
  [li]Self-inflicted injuries, such as cuts, burns, or head banging.[/li]
  [li]Reckless behavior. (Besides suicide, other leading causes of death among young people in New York City are homicide, accidents, drug overdose, and AIDS.) Unexplained accidents among children and the elderly.[/li]
  [li]Making out a will or giving away favorite possessions.[/li]
  [li]Inappropriately saying goodbye.[/li]
  [li]Verbal behavior that is ambiguous or indirect: “I'm going away on a real long trip.”, “You won't have to worry about me anymore.”, “I want to go to sleep and never wake up.”, “I'm so depressed, I just can't go on.”, “Does God punish suicides?”, “Voices are telling me to do bad things.”, requests for euthanasia information, inappropriate joking, stories or essays on morbid themes.[/li]

A WARNING ABOUT WARNING SIGNS

The majority of the population at any one time does not have many of the warning signs and has a lower suicide risk rate. But a lower rate in a larger population is still a lot of people - and many completed suicides had only a few of the conditions listed above. In a one person to another person situation, all indications of suicidality need to be taken seriously.

Crisis intervention hotlines that accept calls from the suicidal, or anyone who wishes to discuss a problem, are (in New York City) The Samaritans at 212-673-3000 and Helpline at 212-532-2400.

(I left this info @ the bottom, in case someone might be interested in looking these up yourself.  Here's the link to that site: www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm)  Also, I highlighted the point about self-injury, because I read in another source that a person who does this is a step away from taking their own life ... that it is one of the biggest warnings signs of how badly they dislike themselves, and/or of how empty they feel inside, and/or wish they were dead.

Site Index:

Return to top of page
Return to Suicide: Read This First
How serious is our condition?
Why is it so hard for us to recover from being suicidal?
Recovery from grief and loss for suicidal persons
The stigma of suicide that keeps us from getting help
Online depression resources for suicidal persons
Handling a call from a suicidal person
Nine ways to help a suicidal person; and Suicide Warning Signs

[leapfreak]

That was some great information miss*chelle*chelle.  Thanks

I attempted suicide 3 years ago and afterwards the main thing my friends kept saying over and over was "I didn't realise you were serious."  Several of my friends are mental health nurses and they didn't recognise that I was serious when I'd told them how I was feeling and what I intended on doing.

Listening to other people's sides of the story makes me feel so guilty.  I can't believe what I put my friends through and am just grateful by how many of them have stuck by me and proved themselves to be excellent friends.

The best advice I can think of for anyone in a situation where they can only see suicide as the way out is to tell them to talk to someone.  Tell someone, anyone.

It's so hard when you are in that place to see that there could possibly be another solution.

[DreamRai]

[quote author=leapfreak link=topic=6444.msg468639#msg468639 date=1185138622]
That was some great information miss*chelle*chelle.  Thanks

I attempted suicide 3 years ago and afterwards the main thing my friends kept saying over and over was "I didn't realise you were serious."  Several of my friends are mental health nurses and they didn't recognise that I was serious when I'd told them how I was feeling and what I intended on doing.

Listening to other people's sides of the story makes me feel so guilty.  I can't believe what I put my friends through and am just grateful by how many of them have stuck by me and proved themselves to be excellent friends.

The best advice I can think of for anyone in a situation where they can only see suicide as the way out is to tell them to talk to someone.  Tell someone, anyone.

It's so hard when you are in that place to see that there could possibly be another solution.
[/quote]

That's great advice, I've always taken my friends statements seriously. Thankfully none of them have actually gone through with it.

I think most people don't want to say they are thinking about suicide because of the way people might react.

[onenightinspain]

Quote from: dietpepsi007 on April 27, 2007, 08:32:33 am
Aw spank you Morbid!! You probably heard of the page it's Josh Ballard's old page.  I tried to turn it into a place to help kids going through the same thing as him after some very not nice people from a well-known website hacked into it, deleted his info, and used it to make fun of him. Sad What sick people.


Wow! Yeah we talked about that quite a bit here. To be honest Josh's story was the one that drew me into MDS. I thought it was pretty horrifying that it became such a huge internet joke. angry  If you look into the media section here I have mentioned Josh a few times in the interviews I did.

Suicide = not funny.

some people are just plain evil
why i like animals better.

i think i'm bipolar. i'm either extremely happy or depressed.

[bekkyboo1985]

[quote author=onenightinspain link=topic=6444.msg482000#msg482000 date=1186132481]
some people are just plain evil
why i like animals better.

i think i'm bipolar. i'm either extremely happy or depressed.
[/quote]


I think I am too. Just some of the things I do and say. I guess if it gets much worse I'll c my GP.

[shags]

I'm new here but i thought i better start some where, so here it goes...
A couple of years ago i suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, a form of depression. Everything was going wrong in my life at the time. I was 16, my mother was long gone (she'd disowned my brothers and i), i had just moved out of home and i hated my dad. (he was a prick at the time, abusive etc). For years i battled through uncontrollable emotions, disappointment and frustration. It never took a break... On a few occasions i tried to kill myself, i have scars on my wrist and i get shakes from when i overdosed on anti depressants. I was in the worst state of my life and all i could feel was that everything would be better if i wasn't around.
I don't say this to gain any ones pity, just an understanding of what might run through ppls heads when they are depressed.
My best friend asked me one day why i wanted to die and i told her, 'for years i have felt an unending sadness that will not leave me, if i have to live another day like this then my life is just not worth it.' She said to me I'd be upset if you died. To which i replied, 'only for a lil while.' The way i thought of it was that while i was so uncontrollably sad i was dragging my friends lives down with me and this could go on for a few more years. But if i had ended it all then they would have grieved a couple of weeks, months and then move on. The longer i lived the more memories i was creating to miss me by.
I truly believed that everyone would be better off without me!

[leapfreak]

[quote author=shags link=topic=6444.msg483843#msg483843 date=1186253964]
I'm new here but i thought i better start some where, so here it goes...
A couple of years ago i suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, a form of depression. Everything was going wrong in my life at the time. I was 16, my mother was long gone (she'd disowned my brothers and i), i had just moved out of home and i hated my dad. (he was a prick at the time, abusive etc). For years i battled through uncontrollable emotions, disappointment and frustration. It never took a break... On a few occasions i tried to kill myself, i have scars on my wrist and i get shakes from when i overdosed on anti depressants. I was in the worst state of my life and all i could feel was that everything would be better if i wasn't around.
I don't say this to gain any ones pity, just an understanding of what might run through ppls heads when they are depressed.
My best friend asked me one day why i wanted to die and i told her, 'for years i have felt an unending sadness that will not leave me, if i have to live another day like this then my life is just not worth it.' She said to me I'd be upset if you died. To which i replied, 'only for a lil while.' The way i thought of it was that while i was so uncontrollably sad i was dragging my friends lives down with me and this could go on for a few more years. But if i had ended it all then they would have grieved a couple of weeks, months and then move on. The longer i lived the more memories i was creating to miss me by.
I truly believed that everyone would be better off without me!



[/quote]

Thanks for sharing that.    I never used to understand why my friends wanted me to stick around.  All I ever did was make everyone around me miserable.  I thought they'd all be better off without me.  They thought different and I guess that's what makes them great friends.

Are you feeling better now?

[James12]

It is a decent idea to post warning notices, and I am sure this point has been made, but this site won't ever be a positive force in preventing suicide. By its very nature it normalizes, glorifies and dramatizes suicide (and indeed death in all its forms), which will only motivate your common or garden angsty teen to go forth and top him/her self. In my day we had to fantasize what our funeral would be like, now they can check it out on a Myspace memorial - -  makes dying seem like quite a nice thing to do.

[turtleande]

[quote author=James12 link=topic=6444.msg485893#msg485893 date=1186410226]
It is a decent idea to post warning notices, and I am sure this point has been made, but this site won't ever be a positive force in preventing suicide. By its very nature it normalizes, glorifies and dramatizes suicide (and indeed death in all its forms), which will only motivate your common or garden angsty teen to go forth and top him/her self. In my day we had to fantasize what our funeral would be like, now they can check it out on a Myspace memorial - -  makes dying seem like quite a nice thing to do.
[/quote]

Totally ignorant statement.

[daybreaksdisdain]

[quote author=James12 link=topic=6444.msg485893#msg485893 date=1186410226]
It is a decent idea to post warning notices, and I am sure this point has been made, but this site won't ever be a positive force in preventing suicide. By its very nature it normalizes, glorifies and dramatizes suicide (and indeed death in all its forms), which will only motivate your common or garden angsty teen to go forth and top him/her self. In my day we had to fantasize what our funeral would be like, now they can check it out on a Myspace memorial - -  makes dying seem like quite a nice thing to do.
[/quote]

A warning?  what?  Try providing resources for people in need.
The rest, well that's your fucked up perception.  Don't put that shit on other people, that's all you buddy.


Christ, I think this is the return of the "bad" Neal.

[James12]

Touch a nerve, there, Neal?

Did you ever wonder about your actual Karma?

Moderating something that might actually be quite harmful to vulnerable people?

Just a thought.

[MorbidCuriousity]

[quote author=James12 link=topic=6444.msg485893#msg485893 date=1186410226]
It is a decent idea to post warning notices, and I am sure this point has been made, but this site won't ever be a positive force in preventing suicide. By its very nature it normalizes, glorifies and dramatizes suicide (and indeed death in all its forms), which will only motivate your common or garden angsty teen to go forth and top him/her self. In my day we had to fantasize what our funeral would be like, now they can check it out on a Myspace memorial - -  makes dying seem like quite a nice thing to do.
[/quote]

Common, garden angsty teen? I hope you don't have kids. They are probably depressed at being reduced to a generalization. I don't think you can group all teens into one pack and decide what they will or will not do based on this site or the entire internet. People (even teens) are individuals.

[James12]

You only have to motivate one. Congrats.