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Thread: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

  1. #301
    Senior Member Cathynugz's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=tgyta link=topic=6444.msg858575#msg858575 date=1211120297]
    Yea, I had a lot of people say "anything u need, just ask" and what not.  Surprisingly most of them were genuine about it even.  At least on my side.  Joe's side's kind of been a whole other story.  The thing I've found out when something tragic happens, it's a perfect time to fight.  And it's not so much fighting about joe as it is rrevisiting old family fueds.  For crying out loud, I don't know if I've mentioned this anywhere before, but do you know how Joe's funeral went?  About 30 minutes into it the only ones in the room were me, MY family and friends..and a few of joe's old friends.  As for his family..they were outside calling the cops on each other and physically blocking people from getting in just becuz they didn't like the person.  Suddenly it's all "well I don't like you and joe would take my side so you're not allowed to come in"  I had the funeral director coming up to me every 10 minutes asking who I wanted to kick out.  It got to the point where I almost left his funeral.  The last thing I need to be doin while I'm sitting 5 feet from his casket is bounce his gaddamn funeral. 

    And since then nothing's improved really.  Everyone's pitting everyone against each other and blaming one another for everything and threatening to take people to court.  Total...fucking...nightmare.  Oh, and apparently joe's death is a weapon to use against one another during petty arguments.  I'm really loving that.  It started getting to the point where they were doing it in front of me and my kids.  My kids don't need to be around that shit, I don't care if they're only 1 and 2.  I don't need to be around that shit.  They're big thing is that I only knew him for 3 years...not even three years even...more like 2 1/2ish...so I'm not allowed to be sensitive about his death.  Such bullshit.  I finally had to sideline them and informed them of this in an email becuz I was literally having panic attacks trying to deal with the stress they putting on me constantly.  And THEN they called my mom and tried to get HER against me!  OMFG.

    Anyway, I feel bad cutting them out right now, but I'm only doing it until I can handle their bullshit.  Everyone I know tells me to just cut them out for good.  I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but each day it looks less and less likely like they're going to come around and stop making everything a fight.

    anyway, wow...holy rant.  oops.  It's been on my mind a little...well a lot actually.  I'm trying to be a good person about this situation but I'm also trying to stay sane and take care of my kids.  I'm not one to put myself first always, but it's becoming necassary I think.  I guess I just don't know what else to do about the situation.   :-(
    [/quote]

    What you are going through is COMPLETLY normal... especially when you have so many people working against you.  You are handeling it so well I can't believe it.  If I were you, I would be so emotional that I would cut them out of my life for good, but I see that you are thinking of your children and that gives you 100% respect in my book.  Everyone handles things differently.  There are good times and bad, but you are doing an amazing job.  Your kids are so lucky to have a role model like you!

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=cookiemonter link=topic=6444.msg858588#msg858588 date=1211120792]
    I wish I had something wise or profound to respond with - but man, i just dont have words. You are a saint for trying to do the right thing despite these unbelievably toxic people. You are 100% justified in cutting them off forever.
    Sadly some people become engrossed in their own sick patterns they destroy everything around them - definitely sounds like their dynamic.
    Take care of yourself and your babies- you are a remarkable person, and I am sincerely honored to know you.
    [/quote]

    well honestly...at this point I wouldn't mine just cutting them out.  But...they're already throwing the 'grandparents rights' thing out at me.  From the sounds of it they got nothing on me, and I haven't said they'd never see them again.  I just told them things need to change and they need to be more understanding and so far all they've done is made things worse instead of trying to make the situation better.  I guess I'd really rather not go to court...but they're not making it any easier for me to talk to them.  I'd be pissed if I got forced to let them see my kids and all they do is talk shit about me and cuss and swear each other out and then use joes death or, god forbid, my kids as a weapon in their fights.  Plus, his mom's a big drinker and it's definately intensified since he died.  I feel for the woman, I really do...but my kids aren't therapy...my kids aren't some cure.  And until she's stable I don't feel comfortable with them being around her.  I've been trying to look up the grandparents rights thing online...I guess I just don't know if I should be worried.  I think it's crap that someone could force me to let someone see my kid that I don't feel comfortable with them being around.

    bah...anyway...enough venting...I'm off to starbucks with the kids and then maybe a park...

    and thanks for all your words too  :-)

  3. #303
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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=tgyta link=topic=6444.msg858575#msg858575 date=1211120297]
    Yea, I had a lot of people say "anything u need, just ask" and what not.  Surprisingly most of them were genuine about it even.  At least on my side.  Joe's side's kind of been a whole other story.  The thing I've found out when something tragic happens, it's a perfect time to fight.  And it's not so much fighting about joe as it is rrevisiting old family fueds.  For crying out loud, I don't know if I've mentioned this anywhere before, but do you know how Joe's funeral went?  About 30 minutes into it the only ones in the room were me, MY family and friends..and a few of joe's old friends.  As for his family..they were outside calling the cops on each other and physically blocking people from getting in just becuz they didn't like the person.  Suddenly it's all "well I don't like you and joe would take my side so you're not allowed to come in"  I had the funeral director coming up to me every 10 minutes asking who I wanted to kick out.  It got to the point where I almost left his funeral.  The last thing I need to be doin while I'm sitting 5 feet from his casket is bounce his gaddamn funeral. 

    And since then nothing's improved really.  Everyone's pitting everyone against each other and blaming one another for everything and threatening to take people to court.  Total...fucking...nightmare.  Oh, and apparently joe's death is a weapon to use against one another during petty arguments.  I'm really loving that.  It started getting to the point where they were doing it in front of me and my kids.  My kids don't need to be around that shit, I don't care if they're only 1 and 2.  I don't need to be around that shit.  They're big thing is that I only knew him for 3 years...not even three years even...more like 2 1/2ish...so I'm not allowed to be sensitive about his death.  Such bullshit.  I finally had to sideline them and informed them of this in an email becuz I was literally having panic attacks trying to deal with the stress they putting on me constantly.  And THEN they called my mom and tried to get HER against me!  OMFG.

    Anyway, I feel bad cutting them out right now, but I'm only doing it until I can handle their bullshit.  Everyone I know tells me to just cut them out for good.  I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but each day it looks less and less likely like they're going to come around and stop making everything a fight.

    anyway, wow...holy rant.  oops.  It's been on my mind a little...well a lot actually.  I'm trying to be a good person about this situation but I'm also trying to stay sane and take care of my kids.  I'm not one to put myself first always, but it's becoming necassary I think.  I guess I just don't know what else to do about the situation.  :-(
    [/quote]

    Oh man! That is really sad when people feel the need to act like that at a funeral! I'm sorry for what you went through. My sister-in-law keeps telling me with all we are going through right now you can always tell who really cares about you when something bad happens.

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    Senior Member Chompin's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    tgyta:

    You are under no obligation to expose your children to a physically or emotionally unstable environment.  If I had kids and their grandparents were foul, or drunks, they wouldn't be left alone with them.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=Chompin link=topic=6444.msg858606#msg858606 date=1211121907]
    tgyta:

    You are under no obligation to expose your children to a physically or emotionally unstable environment.  If I had kids and their grandparents were foul, or drunks, they wouldn't be left alone with them.
    [/quote]
    absolutely!

    I know here in ny our cps -(child protective services) can be a resource - you can call them and ask about grandparents rights and your concerns for the babies' well-being. They are also in a position to support you that the environment they create is not conducive to the well being of a young child.
    These agencies get a bad rap for "taking kids away" - but in this case, they could help resolve the issuewithout you taking anymore lumps from them.
    You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
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    I WILL STICK MY DICK IN YOUR HEAD

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=tgyta link=topic=6444.msg858575#msg858575 date=1211120297]
    Yea, I had a lot of people say "anything u need, just ask" and what not.  Surprisingly most of them were genuine about it even.  At least on my side.  Joe's side's kind of been a whole other story.  The thing I've found out when something tragic happens, it's a perfect time to fight.  And it's not so much fighting about joe as it is rrevisiting old family fueds.  For crying out loud, I don't know if I've mentioned this anywhere before, but do you know how Joe's funeral went?  About 30 minutes into it the only ones in the room were me, MY family and friends..and a few of joe's old friends.  As for his family..they were outside calling the cops on each other and physically blocking people from getting in just becuz they didn't like the person.  Suddenly it's all "well I don't like you and joe would take my side so you're not allowed to come in"  I had the funeral director coming up to me every 10 minutes asking who I wanted to kick out.  It got to the point where I almost left his funeral.  The last thing I need to be doin while I'm sitting 5 feet from his casket is bounce his gaddamn funeral. 

    And since then nothing's improved really.  Everyone's pitting everyone against each other and blaming one another for everything and threatening to take people to court.  Total...fucking...nightmare.  Oh, and apparently joe's death is a weapon to use against one another during petty arguments.  I'm really loving that.  It started getting to the point where they were doing it in front of me and my kids.  My kids don't need to be around that shit, I don't care if they're only 1 and 2.  I don't need to be around that shit.  They're big thing is that I only knew him for 3 years...not even three years even...more like 2 1/2ish...so I'm not allowed to be sensitive about his death.  Such bullshit.  I finally had to sideline them and informed them of this in an email becuz I was literally having panic attacks trying to deal with the stress they putting on me constantly.  And THEN they called my mom and tried to get HER against me!  OMFG.

    Anyway, I feel bad cutting them out right now, but I'm only doing it until I can handle their bullshit.  Everyone I know tells me to just cut them out for good.  I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but each day it looks less and less likely like they're going to come around and stop making everything a fight.

    anyway, wow...holy rant.  oops.  It's been on my mind a little...well a lot actually.  I'm trying to be a good person about this situation but I'm also trying to stay sane and take care of my kids.  I'm not one to put myself first always, but it's becoming necassary I think.  I guess I just don't know what else to do about the situation.   :-(
    [/quote]

    Wow tgyta, I never knew your story before. I'm really sorry for everything you had to go through. That's so disrespectful of his family. I'll never understand how people can behave like that. Unfortunately it's totally something I could see my b/f's family doing. Are any of them alcoholics? Most of my b/f's family is  :| Anyway, you really are a strong woman and it sounds like you're doing a great job with your boys.

    Try to realize it&#39;s all within yourself. No one else can make you change. And to see you&#39;re really only very small. And life flows on within you and without you.<br /><br />--George Harrison--

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=Soul of Nature link=topic=6444.msg858676#msg858676 date=1211129696]
    Wow tgyta, I never knew your story before. I'm really sorry for everything you had to go through. That's so disrespectful of his family. I'll never understand how people can behave like that. Unfortunately it's totally something I could see my b/f's family doing. Are any of them alcoholics? Most of my b/f's family is&nbsp; :| Anyway, you really are a strong woman and it sounds like you're doing a great job with your boys.


    [/quote]

    yea his oldest sister and his mom and stepdad are big drinkers.&nbsp; Always have been.&nbsp; His sister gets violent and has the worst mouth EVER after a few drinks even.&nbsp; Due to some of the stuff said, both before and after Joe's death, I've pretty much decided she'll have nothing to do with my kids.&nbsp; My mother in law is extremely bitter right now and hardcore trying to find someone to blame.&nbsp; I've walked into rooms before or been standing next to her when she was too drunk to notice and heard her say things that make it pretty obvious she throws at least some if not all the blame on me.&nbsp; She also lays guilt trips on me big time that she never sees the kids and that the kids don't know her, but she never makes the effort to come see them.&nbsp; When I make the effort to go by her she's always trashed and kinda just ignores they're there WHILE she complains they don't know her.&nbsp; We went to a baby shower and that's all I heard every 5-10 minutes was that the kids didn't know any of them and I didn't bring them around enough and all sorts of other things that I do wrong.&nbsp; My mother in law bitched about it after focusing on my kids for a whole whoppin' 5 minutes, then she went up to the bar and parked her ass there for the rest of the shower (yes, his sisters baby shower was at a bar).&nbsp; After that I stopped putting the effort forth to put my life on hold to make sure they saw them.&nbsp;


  8. #308
    Senior Member Cathynugz's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=tgyta link=topic=6444.msg858763#msg858763 date=1211134695]
    yea his oldest sister and his mom and stepdad are big drinkers.&nbsp; Always have been.&nbsp; His sister gets violent and has the worst mouth EVER after a few drinks even.&nbsp; Due to some of the stuff said, both before and after Joe's death, I've pretty much decided she'll have nothing to do with my kids.&nbsp; My mother in law is extremely bitter right now and hardcore trying to find someone to blame.&nbsp; I've walked into rooms before or been standing next to her when she was too drunk to notice and heard her say things that make it pretty obvious she throws at least some if not all the blame on me.&nbsp; She also lays guilt trips on me big time that she never sees the kids and that the kids don't know her, but she never makes the effort to come see them.&nbsp; When I make the effort to go by her she's always trashed and kinda just ignores they're there WHILE she complains they don't know her.&nbsp; We went to a baby shower and that's all I heard every 5-10 minutes was that the kids didn't know any of them and I didn't bring them around enough and all sorts of other things that I do wrong.&nbsp; My mother in law bitched about it after focusing on my kids for a whole whoppin' 5 minutes, then she went up to the bar and parked her ass there for the rest of the shower (yes, his sisters baby shower was at a bar).&nbsp; After that I stopped putting the effort forth to put my life on hold to make sure they saw them.&nbsp;


    [/quote]

    I just realized something.&nbsp; You are a single mom to a 1 and 2 year old... YOU ARE FREAKIN AMAZING!

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=Cathynugz link=topic=6444.msg858779#msg858779 date=1211135945]
    I just realized something.&nbsp; You are a single mom to a 1 and 2 year old... YOU ARE FREAKIN AMAZING!
    [/quote]

    dude...i totally love all of u people on here...seriously.&nbsp;

    It's nice to hear I'm doin' ok all things considered or that it's alright to handle things differently than how others do.&nbsp; I think I've been getting a little down lately...it's hard to stay positive when you've got a whole family ganging up on you.&nbsp; Kind of makes me think I'm in the wrong or something...like something's not right with me.

    You people seriously rock.&nbsp; to all.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    I am also a suicide survivor in a way. I attempted it 4 years ago for reasons that I don't want to disclose. All I can say is that when you are at that point you feel that the pain you are causing while you are alive is much worse than the pain you will cause in death.

    I am extremely glad my attempt failed as had I succeeded I would not have my 2 beautiful daughters.

  11. #311

    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=love4life link=topic=12478.msg723339#msg723339 date=1202417278]
    No it wasn't Danny's father it was my ex-husbands father. He seemed happy, he drank occasionally and all but he was a very sweet and loving man. He was perfectly health and this was totally unexpected. His wife went to bed at 930, she woke up at 12 to find a note and my father in law lay-ed out in the back yard.
    [/quote&nbsp; &nbsp; u were sleeping with ur ex husbands father?
    '

  12. #312

    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=tgyta link=topic=12478.msg731940#msg731940 date=1203137560]
    oops...my computer geeked out that last time there...

    I was just gonna say how crazy it is that ur in this post...my husband committed suicide the exact same day...I just found this whole mds thing yesterday when I googled his name and came across a discussion about him on here...yesterday would have been our 2 year wedding anniversary..

    my children save me everyday...cherish every moment with that child...she'll help u be strong...
    [/quote]&nbsp; &nbsp; Damn, no wonder your husband killed himself. Your a BITCH!

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    Senior Member Kristinella's Avatar
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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=angie35 link=topic=12478.msg869462#msg869462 date=1211863494]
    &nbsp; &nbsp; Damn, no wonder your husband killed himself. Your a BITCH!
    [/quote]

    Hey angie.

    Die.&nbsp; :2smiley:

    Kthx.


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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=angie35 link=topic=12478.msg869462#msg869462 date=1211863494]
    &nbsp; &nbsp; Damn, no wonder your husband killed himself. Your a BITCH!
    [/quote]
    Why are you so angry, why attack?

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=angie35 link=topic=12478.msg869462#msg869462 date=1211863494]
    &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Damn, no wonder your husband killed himself. Your a BITCH!
    [/quote]

    2 week ban. Enjoy.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=mydeathspace link=topic=12478.msg869471#msg869471 date=1211865137]
    2 week ban. Enjoy.
    [/quote]

    :kiss3:
    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=mydeathspace link=topic=12478.msg869471#msg869471 date=1211865137]
    2 week ban. Enjoy.
    [/quote]
    wow,her hostility... it was totally uncalled for.
    Rude &nbsp; coming out of nowhere.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=trningxlane link=topic=12478.msg755560#msg755560 date=1204762397]
    My twin brother committed suicide on May 7, 2007...10 months ago on Friday. It seems like losing your twin, especially this way, hurts more and more every day. I feel so helpless without him.
    [/quote]
    I feel your pain I'm not gonna lie, it never goes away.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    Someone I know hung himself yesterday ... right in front of his two little girls (7 and 12). My mate found him and had to hold him up on the rope until while the ambulance arrived. It was his second attempt at suicide this year - but he got it right this time.

    It was a dog cunt of an act. I don't care what sob-ass story anyone's got, it's a fucking selfish, fucked up thing to do. I know how hard depression can be, I have struggled with it my whole life but you know what, somewhere along the line you just have to deal with it, learn to live with it and get the fuck over it, you've got no other choice . I've lost so many people to cancer and other shit who would of done anything to live just one more year cos they loved life, and then this piece of shit (who had the opportunity to do something with his life) goes and hangs himself and fuck up his two lil girls lives in the process. Fuck that. The cunt could of at least drove out to the Nullarbor and done it, save us the gory image ... but no he chose to do it in the family home ... what the FUCK is with that.

    Sorry for this post, I needed to vent.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    hahaha! OPOSSUM!

    classic. That actually has made my anger sub-side slightly, that was the best vent therapy ever ...

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=trepid link=topic=12478.msg869497#msg869497 date=1211867418]
    Someone I know hung himself yesterday ... right in front of his two little girls (7 and 12). My mate found him and had to hold him up on the rope until while the ambulance arrived. It was his second attempt at suicide this year - but he got it right this time.

    It was a dog opossum of an act. I don't care what sob-ass story anyone's got, it's a fucking selfish, fucked up thing to do. I know how hard depression can be, I have struggled with it my whole life but you know what, somewhere along the line you just have to deal with it, learn to live with it and get the fuck over it, you've got no other choice . I've lost so many people to cancer and other shit who would of done anything to live just one more year cos they loved life, and then this piece of shit (who had the opportunity to do something with his life) goes and hangs himself and fuck up his two lil girls lives in the process. Fuck that. The opossum could of at least drove out to the Nullarbor and done it, save us the gory image ... but no he chose to do it in the family home ... what the FUCK is with that.

    Sorry for this post, I needed to vent.
    [/quote]
    No, get it out, say what you feel speak the truth.
    I feel suicide is selfish especially when you leave your kids behind. :-(
    How are they suppose to go on.
    WITHOUT YOU.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    It is just so horrible for those little girls. And they are such sweet little girls too!

    That's twice they have seen their daddy hanging from a rope and this time they know he is not coming home ... it's a horrific image for anyone to get over, let alone a child! He was supposed to be looking after them while their mum was out!

    I just cannot fathom why the fuck he would choose to do that in the family home. Fair enough your life is shit and you want to die, but for fucks sake, at least have the decency to leave the house and do it. They have to live there!

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=angie35 link=topic=12478.msg869462#msg869462 date=1211863494]
    &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Damn, no wonder your husband killed himself. Your a BITCH!
    [/quote]

    wow.&nbsp;
    dude, are you even human?&nbsp; rhetorical, don't even answer that...I don't want to hear it...

    there's no fight for you here...trying to make people feel like shit doesn't make you a better person, if that's what you're thinking..

    so seriously...take your 2 week ban as a perma ban and stay the hell away...


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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    Why oh why must people say it is selfish.&nbsp; Some people just feel they have no other way out.&nbsp; It is the WORST feeling in the world.

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    Re: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

    [quote author=missberi link=topic=12478.msg869985#msg869985 date=1211922445]
    Why oh why must people say it is selfish.&nbsp; Some people just feel they have no other way out.&nbsp; It is the WORST feeling in the world.
    [/quote]

    Because in spite of the fact that someone's life has been so painful that they can't bear to go on, others still feel the need to call them names. I'll never understand it. In my opinion, the folks who are selfish are the ones who insist someone has to go on when they just don't want to anymore. I don't care what anyone else survived. Nobody can speak for anyone else and their capacity to endure their particular torture. If you were depressed and lived, bully for you. Not everyone is the same.
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