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Thread: Suicide Prevention / Suicide Survivors Thread

  1. #701
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    I agree. This thread is meant to raise up and not bring down. I just think it's also one of those threads that shouldn't be marred by belittlement. I think people should feel free to express how they feel without consequences. This one thread. I do agree that Forever probably reacted a bit too quickly to Queena. But I also feel that just like Queena, Forever's thoughts on the subject came from a personal place. The "debate" that followed doesn't belong here in my opinion. That's all.
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  2. #702
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foreverintheflux View Post
    You mean how I was 'derided mercilessly' for sharing my opinion? I should have handled myself better with Queena, for sure. But then Shins decided that it was her job to jump in and tell me what an asshole I was.

    I don't think I handled myself like Beantown or Evolution. Suicide is a sore subject for me, and I'm passionate about awareness. Next time I'll check myself when I start to have an emotional reaction to something. Hopefully, though, others won't use it as a chance to rip into me for "acting like an asshole" when they're doing the same thing and to an even worse degree. Especially when it's just gratuitous asshole-ness because they can.
    I didn't say you did. What you did do was come in here and pick a fight with yourself. The only revisionist here is you. You made a snide comment to me and when I pointed out that your statement was contradicted by what I actually said, you went all out sarcastic, mean, and backpatting how much more compassionate you are than myself or queena, for no reason other than we were voicing our own opinions on a topic while acknowledging that there are many, many different types of suicidal urges and origins.

    No one is picking on your opinion except your opinion that everyone is wrong but you. Calm down. And I don't mean that in a condescending way, I mean, stop taking someone's opinions on a broad subject so personally. I understand that you have a bad history with suicide but everyone is different and approaches things differently and understands them from a different perspective. No one is trying to pick on you so please just stop kind of being a dick to everyone.
    Last edited by bowieluva; 08-28-2014 at 06:17 PM.

  3. #703
    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    I agree that cbt can definitely help a depressed person-but there are chemicals involved that need to be treated with medication in some cases.

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

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  4. #704
    Superomnininjamember Monter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angiebla View Post
    I agree that cbt can definitely help a depressed person-but there are chemicals involved that need to be treated with medication in some cases.
    Absolutely. It is really hard work not succumbing to the disease process, that's all.
    You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
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  5. #705
    Senior Member foreverintheflux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    I didn't say you did. What you did do was come in here and pick a fight with yourself. The only revisionist here is you. You made a snide comment to me and when I pointed out that your statement was contradicted by what I actually said, you went all out sarcastic, mean, and backpatting how much more compassionate you are than myself or queena, for no reason other than we were voicing our own opinions on a topic while acknowledging that there are many, many different types of suicidal urges and origins.

    No one is picking on your opinion except your opinion that everyone is wrong but you. Calm down. And I don't mean that in a condescending way, I mean, stop taking someone's opinions on a broad subject so personally. I understand that you have a bad history with suicide but everyone is different and approaches things differently and understands them from a different perspective. No one is trying to pick on you so please just stop kind of being a dick to everyone.
    Ah, the irony...you and Shins have been totally obnoxious, but I'm the asshole who's "being a dick to everyone." This is absurd and there's waaaay too much hyperbole and hypocrisy.

    But, ok. I'm completely wrong and you're right. My behavior is up for scrutiny, but you and she get a pass. So, this is me bowing out of this thread. Queena, once again, I apologize.

  6. #706
    Senior Member songbirdsong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queena View Post
    I always say "I promise life gets better, I just can't promise you when". I've found that the things that I thought I couldn't handle, are much easier than I anticipated.

    Sorry if it's a cliche, but I've found it to be true.
    I think it's a perfectly appropriate thing to say, I really do. When someone says that, it at least makes me feel good to know that someone cares, even if it is a cliche. This as opposed to when people practically order you to be happy.

    And yeah, sometimes it's harder to believe that things will get better. Sometimes they don't get better at all. But at the same time, I'm not going to hold it against someone who says that if it turns out not to be true.
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  7. #707
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angiebla View Post
    I agree that cbt can definitely help a depressed person-but there are chemicals involved that need to be treated with medication in some cases.
    Medication should at least be discussed with a doctor even if you are firm against meds.
    Some do great with cbt and others not so much. I myself am going to be taking an ssri forever, and I am ok with that because it works for me.

  8. #708
    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foreverintheflux View Post
    Good talk.
    I could've given a better argument, however anything I say will come across wrong. I don't want others who are thinking of committing suicide to see my words of sarcasm towards you, to take it to heart. My post was meant to be encouraging. I maintain that no one has a bad day every single day of their lives. I ask everyone who even thinks of harming themselves to not do it.

    You may not want to hear it, but maybe being positive, and encouraging can save a life.

  9. #709
    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foreverintheflux View Post
    Ah, the irony...you and Shins have been totally obnoxious, but I'm the asshole who's "being a dick to everyone." This is absurd and there's waaaay too much hyperbole and hypocrisy.

    But, ok. I'm completely wrong and you're right. My behavior is up for scrutiny, but you and she get a pass. So, this is me bowing out of this thread. Queena, once again, I apologize.
    I can't edit, but I accept your apology.


    There's a suicide gene, I don't know if medication can help that.

  10. #710
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foreverintheflux View Post
    Yeah, ok. Shins didn't attack me at all. Are you really going with that? I ripped Queena, and then I apologized. Spare me the revisionist history.
    You really need to take a step back here.

    No part of my response to you was a personal attack. There was no passive aggression, and no I was not passively referring to you as a woe-is-me case. This is an example of where you're taking something personally instead of seeing a message.

    The only thing I said directly to you was that you were going down asshole road. This isn't calling you an asshole. This is a way of saying you bumped a thread while riding the snark wagon and bit into Queena for what many people feel is a perfectly acceptable approach.
    Last edited by Shins; 08-29-2014 at 06:00 AM.
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  11. #711
    Superomnininjamember Monter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queena View Post
    I can't edit, but I accept your apology.


    There's a suicide gene, I don't know if medication can help that.
    I agree positive encouragement that acknowledges a person is hurting is always helpful.
    Im not sure what you mean by suicide gene...could you clarify that? ( no snark, legitimate question)
    You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
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  12. #712
    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monter View Post
    I agree positive encouragement that acknowledges a person is hurting is always helpful.
    Im not sure what you mean by suicide gene...could you clarify that? ( no snark, legitimate question)
    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0730043402.htm

  13. #713
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Interesting article. Thanks for sharing!
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  14. #714
    Superomnininjamember Monter's Avatar
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    Wow, thank you. Good article.
    IT sounds promising - Im hesitant to say it looks to be causative but it definitely sounds like a promising line of research.
    You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
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  15. #715
    Senior Member foreverintheflux's Avatar
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    Interesting.

  16. #716
    Member Pigkiller's Avatar
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    Do any of you know if there is a thread on suicide due to chronic pain? I have two family members who committed suicide because of chronic pain (years ago and they were over 65). I personally have suffered from chronic pain since I was 23 or so. It was horrible for 5 years straight until having a spinal fusion at 29, then about 5 years ago I started suffering from horrid head pain. I somehow have jacked my back up again and while I am not suicidal I am curious to know more about those who chose not to live the remainder of their days in relentless pain.

  17. #717
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    Are you sure it was suicide and not accidental overdose of pain meds?

    You are still young, seek out other methods of pain control, a chiropractor maybe. There are doctors who specialize in pain control these days.

  18. #718
    Member Pigkiller's Avatar
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    Neither were medication over dose related, even though they both were on pain meds. One of them set up a family reunion and then once everyone had left, walked away and shot himself in the head. He left a note with one of his friends who found his body. The other one hung himself. My pain is pretty well controlled but I still have break through pain and I am very resistant to opiates so that sucks. I am not in the least suicidal since I know this will pass but being laid up in bed for three days straight brought back some memories and my wandering mind was wondering if there was a thread.

  19. #719
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    i have survived 2 suicide attempts

    however my heart is burdened by a friend who is said to have took her life last year by overdose.

    but there is no trace....no obituary no death notice....

    i have no closure and im haunted wondering if she is still even alive. i dont know what to do.

    all of this sucks.

  20. #720
    Senior Member songbirdsong's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missmyangel View Post
    i have survived 2 suicide attempts

    however my heart is burdened by a friend who is said to have took her life last year by overdose.

    but there is no trace....no obituary no death notice....

    i have no closure and im haunted wondering if she is still even alive. i dont know what to do.

    all of this sucks.
    I'm so sorry to hear that, not only about your friend but about the pain you're going through.

    This is a link to the Social Security Death Index. You can search by name, DOB, etc.

    It's free and you don't have to know their SSN: http://search.ancestry.com/search/db.aspx?dbid=3693

    It will not give you the cause of death, but it will give you the date and county. My understanding is that it is pretty much constantly updated. You got this!
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    Just as I suspected. A ring of elderly pedophiles.
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    Fucking piece of shit, fucking scum, internet ass holes. fucking ingrate no life having fat ass. you have no fucking clue at whats going on fuck tard shit for brains.

  21. #721
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by missmyangel View Post
    i have survived 2 suicide attempts

    however my heart is burdened by a friend who is said to have took her life last year by overdose.

    but there is no trace....no obituary no death notice....

    i have no closure and im haunted wondering if she is still even alive. i dont know what to do.

    all of this sucks.
    So often when someone commits Suicide its brushed under the carpet, erased, never to be spoken about. Families view suicide as shameful. This is all part of the problem. MANY of the reasons why people commit suicide are because of mental illnesses like depression. It's NO DIFFERENT than any other disease and needs to be treated head on. Not hidden away. It needs to be talked about.

    I'm so very sorry about not having closure with your friend. I hope and pray that you find answers. And if you ever need to talk about it, this is the place. There are peole here that care and know what you're going through
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  22. #722
    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    So often when someone commits Suicide its brushed under the carpet, erased, never to be spoken about. Families view suicide as shameful. This is all part of the problem. MANY of the reasons why people commit suicide are because of mental illnesses like depression. It's NO DIFFERENT than any other disease and needs to be treated head on. Not hidden away. It needs to be talked about.

    I'm so very sorry about not having closure with your friend. I hope and pray that you find answers. And if you ever need to talk about it, this is the place. There are peole here that care and know what you're going through
    You are very right. I had a friend commit suicide recently and NOONE will talk about it!

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

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  23. #723
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    Hi. I'm new here and I'm glad to see a post about suicide prevention. I lost my best friend to suicide nearly 15 years ago(November 28, 2000)and the experience taught me a lot. I learned that not everyone cries out for help or even show any signs of what they plan to do. I've known people who DID reach out, who DID show obvious signs that something was wrong and I'll always wish that my friend had done that. He never said anything to me about being depressed, even though we lived together and he didn't leave a note, so I have to accept that I'll never know why he chose to take his life. He and I had made a promise that even though life may suck sometimes, we would stick it out together. I was honestly angry when he died and the grief didn't hit me until two years later....that probably isn't normal, but it's just the way I dealt with things back then. I hate to hear of suicides, but with all of resources out there, I genuinely hope that a lot more people get the help that they need.

  24. #724
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by heliophobic37 View Post
    Hi. I'm new here and I'm glad to see a post about suicide prevention. I lost my best friend to suicide nearly 15 years ago(November 28, 2000)and the experience taught me a lot. I learned that not everyone cries out for help or even show any signs of what they plan to do. I've known people who DID reach out, who DID show obvious signs that something was wrong and I'll always wish that my friend had done that. He never said anything to me about being depressed, even though we lived together and he didn't leave a note, so I have to accept that I'll never know why he chose to take his life. He and I had made a promise that even though life may suck sometimes, we would stick it out together. I was honestly angry when he died and the grief didn't hit me until two years later....that probably isn't normal, but it's just the way I dealt with things back then. I hate to hear of suicides, but with all of resources out there, I genuinely hope that a lot more people get the help that they need.
    Welcome Heliophobic! So glad you posted in here and shared your story and I'm so very sorry for your loss. You never really come to terms when someone you love commits suicide. Just know that it's not your fault and there really was nothing you could have done. People tend to blame themselves when it happens and it's not healthy. Most times even if someone does show signs, there's not much you can do if they're serious about it.

    Anyway, again welcome and thanks for sharing your experience.
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  25. #725
    Senior Member queenaevadamthng's Avatar
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    I had a very close family member who tried a few months ago. I am still not convinced that he won't try again. I feel like he is waiting for things to calm down. It seems like he is going through the motions and telling everyone what they want to hear so they won't worry. The last attempt was very planned out. He didn't make a big production or cry out for help, his wife just kinda knew. She knew where to find him and he was found in time. I'm very afraid that it's not over and next time he will plan so he will not be found.


    "Theoretical physics can prove that an elephant can hang from a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy. But use your eyes, your common sense".... JIM GARRISON

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