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Thread: Man Pleads Guilty To Ejaculating Into Co-Workers Coffee

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    Senior Member Jumaki15's Avatar
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    Man Pleads Guilty To Ejaculating Into Co-Workers Coffee

    MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) ? A 34-year-old Blaine man has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge accusing him of ejaculating on a co-worker?s desk and in her coffee.

    More serious charges were dropped for Robert John Lind back in November 2014, when the Ramsey County courts found that there was not enough evidence to provide probable cause that his actions constituted felony criminal sexual conduct.

    So, the New Brighton City Attorney subsequently filed a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure (engaging in lewd and indecent behavior). On Thursday, Lind plead guilty to that charge.

    According to the criminal complaint, an employee at Beisswenger?s hardware store in New Brighton called police on Aug. 26, 2014, saying she thought Lind, her co-worker, was leaving bodily fluids on her desk.

    She told police that she had found Lind standing at her desk with his back turned toward her. Lind allegedly had both of his hands in front of him near his genitals.

    According to the original complaint, when Lind noticed the woman he looked at her with a ?deer in headlights? expression and quickly went into another room.

    The woman told police she inspected her desk and noticed a strong odor that resembled urine, but was a bit different and strange.

    She said her coffee smelled the same way and noted that she had had an ongoing issue with a experiencing a foul taste in her coffee.

    On Aug. 28, 2014, Lind met with police. Lind told police that he liked his female coworker and was attracted to her. He admitted to ejaculating on her desk and into her coffee on Aug. 26.

    According to the criminal complaint, Lind denied ejaculating into her coffee out of revenge because she had threatened to report his behavior.

    The Ramsey County Attorney?s Office said the fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct statute makes it a gross misdemeanor crime for a person to engage ?in nonconsensual sexual contact.?

    According to court documents, the specific definition of ?sexual contact? includes intentional touching of genitals of an unwilling person, intentional touching of the clothing over the genitals of an unwilling person and seminal fluid touching the body or clothes covering the genitals of and unwilling person.

    The definition does not include contact by sperm of seminal fluid of other clothes or possessions of an unwilling person, thus the Ramsey County Attorney?s Office said that the details given in the complaint do not constitute probable cause to support the felony charges.

    ?Unfortunately, there are no other applicable felony charges that we can file at this time,? a spokesperson for the Ramsey County Attorney?s Office said.

    Lind?s guilty plea was accepted by the judge Thursday. His sentencing is set for May 22, 2014


    http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2015/0...orkers-coffee/


  2. #2
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    jizzing in her coffee is a GREAT way to get her to boink you. wtf
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Roger View Post
    Because they are probably not ghetto and hood like me.

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    Senior Member Jumaki15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words Words View Post
    jizzing in her coffee is a GREAT way to get her to boink you. wtf
    I was going to say that's how I get all my ladies, but that's too gross to even joke about...........plus, I have no ladies

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    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    Well, now you have another way to try and get some.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Roger View Post
    Because they are probably not ghetto and hood like me.

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    Senior Member Jumaki15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Words Words View Post
    Well, now you have another way to try and get some.
    Well, it certainly is a classy way to try and get a date.

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    Senior Member Caffeinatedkat's Avatar
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    Maybe he was just concerned about her lack of protein

    Mommy to: Misty-Allison-Elliot-Sebastian-Quinn
    And our newest rugrat MISS MARLEE!!!

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    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    I was thinking a creamer substitute.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Roger View Post
    Because they are probably not ghetto and hood like me.

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    Senior Member Jumaki15's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caffeinatedkat View Post
    Maybe he was just concerned about her lack of protein
    Or she asked him to put cream in her coffee and he just totally misjudged what she meant

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    Senior Member M Joy's Avatar
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    I think I'm going to be sick.

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    Senior Member faq_q's Avatar
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    I think this is the first time I have ever heard of someone doing this in coffee. Usually it's on like a sandwich at a fast food restaurant


    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I find it hilarious that YOU are acting all high and mighty toward us when you're posting on here just like anyone else and in addition, defending a murderer. A child murderer, at that. Go fuck a Popsicle.

  11. #11
    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Great.

    Can't drink my coffee anymore.

    Can't eat out.

    Super duper.

    Thanks, MDS, for this visual that shall never vacate my temporal lobe.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

  12. #12
    Senior Member CanaryDiam's Avatar
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    never... eating... fast food... again. I'm not worried about my coffee, I guard that like a rottweiler, no one gets near me java.

  13. #13
    Senior Member MrBoddy2005's Avatar
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    The Best Part Of Wakin' Up, Is Jizm In Your Cup
    Oh God, Stop The Voices *SCREAM*

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    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrBoddy2005 View Post
    The Best Part Of Wakin' Up, Is Jizm In Your Cup
    Awesome.

    And is it me, or does this dude look kinda feminine himself?
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

  15. #15
    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Naw, but he does look like he could be Jerry Seinfeld's neighbor.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    She had an ongoing issue regarding a foul taste in her coffee....uggghhhh. And he had to use both hands to masturbate? Amateur.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

  17. #17
    Senior Member u2addict's Avatar
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    OH HELL NO!!

    Sick bastard needs to be flogged...
    With a Cobra.

    Fibro Fog has taken over. I am in a constant state of dyscognition so please excuse my retardation.
    'The worst things in the world are justified by belief'- Raised by Wolves SOI

    "Your life is short, it's the longest thing you'll ever do/ the worse the curse was that your dreams came true/
    God is a mirror in which each man sees himself/ Hell is place where you don't need anyone's help"


    ~You got to cry with out weeping. Talk without speaking
    Scream without raising your voice~

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    Senior Member marycontrary's Avatar
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    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marycontrary View Post
    OMG that is so disturbing.

    Putting period blood in food

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Words Words's Avatar
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    My husband and best friend are obsessed with how I make spaghetti. When we were listening to the radio we heard about the period blood thing and they were talking about how nasty and fucked up it was. I said something like, "why do you think I only make spaghetti once a month?"

    but yeah, bodily fluids to make people fall in love with you is just disgusting...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jolly Roger View Post
    Because they are probably not ghetto and hood like me.

  21. #21
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Ejaculatte!


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  22. #22
    Senior Member u2addict's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Ejaculatte!
    NO!

    NO!


    NO!

    Fibro Fog has taken over. I am in a constant state of dyscognition so please excuse my retardation.
    'The worst things in the world are justified by belief'- Raised by Wolves SOI

    "Your life is short, it's the longest thing you'll ever do/ the worse the curse was that your dreams came true/
    God is a mirror in which each man sees himself/ Hell is place where you don't need anyone's help"


    ~You got to cry with out weeping. Talk without speaking
    Scream without raising your voice~

  23. #23
    Senior Member UncomfortablyNumb's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Ejaculatte!
    AHahahahahahaha
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    She transitioned from a stupid asshole to a dumb bitch.

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