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Thread: Rachel Gow, 29, commited suicide

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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Rachel Gow, 29, commited suicide

    http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/11/woman-...by-30-5058139/

    Woman commits suicide ?because she was unmarried and had no children? by 30


    A "fantastic" woman took her own life because she struggled with the fact she was unmarried and had no children by the age of 30, an inquest heard.

    Hospital administrator Rachel Gow, 29, of Haslingden, Lancashire, thought she was not where she should be in life and felt other members of her family were "doing better than her".

    Fearing her boyfriend Anton Tsvarev, 30 would leave her, Miss Gow sent him a text message wishing him "all the best for the future" before taking her own life at her home.

    Mr Tsvarev who had been visiting a friend later found Miss Gow but she died despite attempts by him to revive her.

    An inquest was told Miss Gow was an "outgoing, adventurous and loving" young woman.

    But Miss Gow's problems began in 2011 after her mother Connie a primary school teacher died from cancer aged 66 in 2011.

    A statement heard in court read: "Following the death of her mother Rachel had a period of independence. She met Anton and they were both extremely happy. He moved in. They had lots in common. She did have three breakups before her relationship with Anton and her greatest wish was to settle down, start a relationship and get married.

    But she could not overcome her previous sadness and felt Anton would leave her. She was looking forward to turning 30, planning trips to Italy with Anton and going to go Vegas for her birthday, she was saving money every month. But the relationship became unstable and they tried to make it work."

    Miss Gow, who was due to celebrate her 30th birthday in January this year, went to see a psychologist in September 2014.

    Mr Tsvarev added: "There had been nothing significant at the time except the anniversary of her mother's death also along with her 30th birthday and mine. These were all things that troubled her. She felt she was not where she should be in life."

    He said she felt that she should be married with children and that her siblings were doing better than her and added: "This was something she struggled with. Rachel had spoken to me about the fact she had researched suicide techniques.

    I was not sure how serious she was about it because she always said things in the heat of the moment."

    On the morning of her death in November last year she had taken a disliking to a text message she saw on her boyfriend?s phone.

    Coroner Richard Taylor said: "We have a girl who is severely troubles by a number of aspects of her life. As I understand it she was having a slightly more positive year because of new employment. But she clearly had difficulties and at some stage she purchased the items with which she took her own life.

    It appears from her actions she did that with intent to end her life."
    Her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/gowmoogow
    Last edited by PeaceBeWithMe; 02-11-2015 at 07:19 AM.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    Senior Member Jumaki15's Avatar
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    Wow. I am 29, never married and no kids. Not that big of a deal. This is really sad. She was a gorgeous girl.....

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    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
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    I'm 40, I didn't get married until 39. I don't have any biological kids. I should kill myself already. Nah, it's not that bad. Or important. Poor young woman. If only she had given it more time.

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    Senior Member debk589's Avatar
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    I don't really get on board with the whole 'she killed herself because she was unmarried' or 'he killed himself because she broke up with him' analysis of suicide. She killed herself because she was probably depressed and battling demons far beyond what we can comprehend, and perhaps people interpreted it as being because she was unmarried and had to kids.

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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debk589 View Post
    I don't really get on board with the whole 'she killed herself because she was unmarried' or 'he killed himself because she broke up with him' analysis of suicide. She killed herself because she was probably depressed and battling demons far beyond what we can comprehend, and perhaps people interpreted it as being because she was unmarried and had to kids.
    Deb, most of the news stories and discussions with her therapist back up the headline. She really felt like she was a failure because she hadn't settled down and had kids.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBeWithMe View Post
    Deb, most of the news stories and discussions with her therapist back up the headline. She really felt like she was a failure because she hadn't settled down and had kids.
    Yea, some people set dates for these milestones, so they're devastated if they're not met. And women have a bio cut off for the baby stuff. Just sayin'.

    38, never married and child free; just cause I wanna share with the class.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Senior Member debk589's Avatar
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    Yeah, I dunno, I just feel like there's more to the story, mental health wise.

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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debk589 View Post
    Yeah, I dunno, I just feel like there's more to the story, mental health wise.
    Oh, I'm sure there is. I mean, who kills themselves just for being single unless there are underlying mental issues? This is just what she *told* everyone her issue was.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debk589 View Post
    I don't really get on board with the whole 'she killed herself because she was unmarried' or 'he killed himself because she broke up with him' analysis of suicide. She killed herself because she was probably depressed and battling demons far beyond what we can comprehend, and perhaps people interpreted it as being because she was unmarried and had to kids.
    Normal every day me will say "Why the fuck would you depend your happiness on getting married and having kids... it's exhausting and there are like 100000 other fun things you could do in life, this isn't 1953."

    However, every now and then I'll have a weak day. And my exes new fiance will appear on my FB feed through other people, and it gets broadcasted in my face of how they're engaged and living in this huge awesome house where I wanted to live, and I have a moment of "my life sucks, what's the point". Because I'm Good Luck Chuck and everyone I date for years, I end up dumping, and then they marry the person they meet the next day.

    Those feelings usually only last about a day for me before I remind myself of why I am where I am, and start feeling proud of it again, but I mean.... I think I get it.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    OMG I JUST READ THIS AGAIN! I THOUGHT SHE WAS 39!!!

    29?!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    Depending on the way you've grown up, what you've always wanted, and the people you surround yourself with, being 29 and having no hubby or kids could very well have been a stressor that was strong enough to make her end her life. Women, much moreso than men, want that whole dream, it seems. Nothing wrong with that, at all. But there's also nothing wrong with being 29, unmarried and childless, either.

    What a sad and horrible way to see things. I work with many women, and some didn't become brides or moms until their late thirties and even early forties. It's not a big deal, really (says the guy), it just means that your dreams are on hold for awhile longer.

    Either way, I hope that her family and friends can someday be at peace with her loss. That they can remember her for the person that she was. That they can forgive her for leaving them so soon.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

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    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    Normal every day me will say "Why the fuck would you depend your happiness on getting married and having kids... it's exhausting and there are like 100000 other fun things you could do in life, this isn't 1953."

    However, every now and then I'll have a weak day. And my exes new fiance will appear on my FB feed through other people, and it gets broadcasted in my face of how they're engaged and living in this huge awesome house where I wanted to live, and I have a moment of "my life sucks, what's the point". Because I'm Good Luck Chuck and everyone I date for years, I end up dumping, and then they marry the person they meet the next day.

    Those feelings usually only last about a day for me before I remind myself of why I am where I am, and start feeling proud of it again, but I mean.... I think I get it.

    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

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    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    I seriously don't get investing so much in to what you wanted to happen by a certain time not happening to the point of ending your life. Do these people not realize that that's what life is about? It can't be controlled. Shit happens.

    Most of the time when you force it to happen when it's not meant to happen you end up even more miserable. Not to mention miserable for the kids and spouse. That's why giving "ultimatums" to me is shitty to do. Just because you're ready for the next step doesn't mean others are. So yeah, let's FORCE you to do what you don't want to do and we'll live happily ever after because I said so.

    What a fairytale.....
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Just another victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome.



    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
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    But she was a special little snowflake. One that melted before she reached the ground and realized her full potential. One that was lost before she ever realized that life can be about being around millions of others similar to you and yet different, and finding love and happiness at your own pace.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

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    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    ugh. i hate shit like this. i know i've said it a million times but.... people don't kill themselves because they broke up, or their dog died, or they don't have kids and a husband at 30. they kill themselves because they are suffering from some severe mental condition like depression or bipolar or something that predisposed them to suicide in the first place. it's not a selfish act, why do we always want to perpetuate that myth? i guess because it's easier to refuse to think critically about people's experiences and actions.

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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kevansvault View Post
    But she was a special little snowflake. One that melted before she reached the ground and realized her full potential. One that was lost before she ever realized that life can be about being around millions of others similar to you and yet different, and finding love and happiness at your own pace.
    Touche.

    But I still think that people who are ill-equipped to accept that life seldom ever follows a screenplay timeline are destined to be miserable as a result.

    She's no more special than anyone else, Kev. Everyone gets kicked in the teeth by the Big L on a daily basis. Happiness isn't served on a silver platter by the end of decade three.

    And, had she accepted that, she might still be alive.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBeWithMe View Post
    Just another victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome.





    Quote Originally Posted by emmieslost View Post
    ugh. i hate shit like this. i know i've said it a million times but.... people don't kill themselves because they broke up, or their dog died, or they don't have kids and a husband at 30. they kill themselves because they are suffering from some severe mental condition like depression or bipolar or something that predisposed them to suicide in the first place. it's not a selfish act, why do we always want to perpetuate that myth? i guess because it's easier to refuse to think critically about people's experiences and actions.
    Yea, there's mental illness happening, but it seems a bit blase to act like there can't be a catalyst.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBeWithMe View Post
    Touche.

    But I still think that people who are ill-equipped to accept that life seldom ever follows a screenplay timeline are destined to be miserable as a result.

    She's no more special than anyone else, Kev. Everyone gets kicked in the teeth by the Big L on a daily basis. Happiness isn't served on a silver platter by the end of decade three.

    And, had she accepted that, she might still be alive.


    Rest in peace.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    i'm not saying there isn't a catalyst, i'm saying it's not the reason why people kill themselves it is an excuse that people who are living use to give meaning to an act someone commits that they do not understand.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by emmieslost View Post
    i'm not saying there isn't a catalyst, i'm saying it's not the reason why people kill themselves it is an excuse that people who are living use to give meaning to an act someone commits that they do not understand.
    I dunno, pretty sure if you asked some people right before the deed is done, they could say "this is happening because XXX happened."

    Some people lose their savings, car, spouse, and home, and take it in stride. Some run into traffic.

    Recently, people go overboard on the mental illness stuff, totally forgetting sometimes people just get dealt a deal that's more than they can handle.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post


    Rest in peace.
    Ba da bing, ba da bing!


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I seriously don't get investing so much in to what you wanted to happen by a certain time not happening to the point of ending your life. Do these people not realize that that's what life is about? It can't be controlled. Shit happens.

    Most of the time when you force it to happen when it's not meant to happen you end up even more miserable. Not to mention miserable for the kids and spouse. That's why giving "ultimatums" to me is shitty to do. Just because you're ready for the next step doesn't mean others are. So yeah, let's FORCE you to do what you don't want to do and we'll live happily ever after because I said so.

    What a fairytale.....
    Sometimes people see this as a "what is wrong with me?" thing.

    Like, everyone around them, including ugly disgusting unemployed people are married and having kids, but they're not. Not that they would marry a gross unemployed person... it's not about that. It's about "why am I not good enough."

    I'm not saying this is sane, this is just what some people go through.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

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    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBeWithMe View Post
    Just another victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome.

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  25. #25
    Senior Member PeaceBeWithMe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post




    I stand by it. I do consider it to be Special Snowflake Syndrome. She had unrealistic expectations and, sadly, she's dead as a result.

    Does it make it any less tragic? Nope.

    Nope, squared.


    Quote Originally Posted by marshmallow View Post
    did you make her into a wallet Bill? cuz if you did I'm off team Bill.

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