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Thread: Oh Florida...

  1. #51
    Senior Member u2addict's Avatar
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    Man 'sexually abused his girlfriend's children for five years, smoked meth with one of them - and their mother did nothing to stop him but became jealous'
    Shawn Ussery, 42, of Florida, charged with sexual battery and aggravated child abuse
    His 37-year-old live-in girlfriend is facing counts of failure to protect children and lewd and lascivious exhibition
    Arrest reports state the mother performed oral sex on Ussery in front of a child because she was jealous and said: 'he was mine first'
    Ussery is accused of smoking meth with one of the kids just three days before his arrest
    BBM:
    Welp.....
    Mama knows best.

    Fibro Fog has taken over. I am in a constant state of dyscognition so please excuse my retardation.
    'The worst things in the world are justified by belief'- Raised by Wolves SOI

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  2. #52
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Brigitte Matzke, 25, of Port Orange, Florida, was arrested on Monday after she assaulted and stole $1,900 jewelry from her 84-year-old grandmother, according to police. She and her husband , Alex Caldwell, have been charged with offenses including burglary with assault/battery and battery on a person 65 years or older. Other charges included possession of methamphetamine. This is Matzke's eleventh arrest in the past three years and her gallery of mug shots chart the startling decline of a young woman, with her complexion showing many of the hallmarks consistent with meth addiction.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...mother-80.html


  3. #53
    Senior Member debk589's Avatar
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  4. #54
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  5. #55
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    i feel like criminals like that they have arrests under their belts, but to me it just means that you are terrible at your job.
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    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  6. #56
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    I'm actually amazed at the fact that the girl has a f'ed up face that is bleeding pus out of it- but her eyebrows are shaped prefect.

  7. #57
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post
    Brigitte Matzke, 25, of Port Orange, Florida, was arrested on Monday after she assaulted and stole $1,900 jewelry from her 84-year-old grandmother, according to police. She and her husband , Alex Caldwell, have been charged with offenses including burglary with assault/battery and battery on a person 65 years or older. Other charges included possession of methamphetamine. This is Matzke's eleventh arrest in the past three years and her gallery of mug shots chart the startling decline of a young woman, with her complexion showing many of the hallmarks consistent with meth addiction.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...mother-80.html

    I could probably tap that now.

    Just kidding, no I couldn't.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  8. #58
    Senior Member blighted star's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post
    I'm actually amazed at the fact that the girl has a f'ed up face that is bleeding pus out of it- but her eyebrows are shaped prefect.
    It's the obsessive picking. She was probably at the mirror with her tweezers for about 18 hrs straight doing that. While there, she spotted a couple of little blemishes on her skin & fixed them as well. No blackheads now!

  9. #59
    Senior Member Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blighted star View Post
    It's the obsessive picking. She was probably at the mirror with her tweezers for about 18 hrs straight doing that. While there, she spotted a couple of little blemishes on her skin & fixed them as well. No blackheads now!
    While in beauty school, I found out the hard way that I was allergic to several sea kelp products used on a facial performed on me. I had these huge blisters that popped and my face looked bad. I didn't leave my house for a week until I was completely healed. Luckily I didn't have permanent scarring.

    This bitch attacked her grandma and stole her jewelry? I hope her face holes get infected and she's perma scarred.

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  10. #60
    Senior Member puzzld's Avatar
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    Florida murder suspect asked Siri how to hide a body, then used flashlight app 9 times



    From going to Instagram to boast about your illegal gun business to leaving a taunt on a police department?s Facebook page, there is no shortage of stupid criminals. While murder suspect Pedro Bravo didn?t turn to social media, he still reached high levels of stupidity when he asked Siri on advice as to how to hide a body, reports KIRO TV.

    Bravo is accused of killing his roommate, Christian Aguilar, back in 2012. According to prosecutors, Bravo asked Siri ?I need to hide my roommate.? Records also showed that Bravo used the LED light on the iPhone nine times in 48 minutes during the night of the murder, with location data from the iPhone not matching where Bravo claimed to be that night.


    In the past, if you asked Siri where?s a good place to hide a body, Siri would answer by asking, ?What kind of place are you looking for? Swamps. Reservoirs. Metal foundries. Dumps.? Nowadays though, if you ask Siri the same question, it would answer by asking, ?What, again??

    While the evidence might seem circumstantial, it certainly doesn?t bode well for Bravo. His trial is set to wrap up later this week.

    Read more: http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/...#ixzz3BYbamQQp
    Follow us: @digitaltrends on Twitter | digitaltrendsftw on Facebook
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  11. #61
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Oh yeah I heard about that a few weeks ago. I had no idea the flashlight app recorded your uses.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  12. #62
    Senior Member puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    Oh yeah I heard about that a few weeks ago. I had no idea the flashlight app recorded your uses.
    Your cell phone is the biggest snitch ever. http://www.businessinsider.com/see-w...ocation-2014-8
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  13. #63
    Senior Member Chopstix's Avatar
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    I'm embarrassed that a couple of these have happened locally to me.

  14. #64
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    Your cell phone is the biggest snitch ever. http://www.businessinsider.com/see-w...ocation-2014-8
    It doesnt really surprise me. Just like a "huh.. didnt know that". I assume everything is recorded everywhere always.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  15. #65
    Senior Member puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    It doesnt really surprise me. Just like a "huh.. didnt know that". I assume everything is recorded everywhere always.
    It's getting that way. The Tornquist murder was solved in part because of her CPAP machine. It pinpointed the time of the murder. Leave our cell phone at home if you're going to break the law.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  16. #66
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    It's getting that way. The Tornquist murder was solved in part because of her CPAP machine. It pinpointed the time of the murder. Leave our cell phone at home if you're going to break the law.
    You'd figure people would "know" that by now. I mean, if you have a cell phone, you know it's entire working ability depends on towers and satellites... what do you think that shit does? It records and communicates information. It isn't like this magic power that allows everyone to be completely anonymous while using the same network.

    I love technology.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    Florida murder suspect asked Siri how to hide a body, then used flashlight app 9 times



    From going to Instagram to boast about your illegal gun business to leaving a taunt on a police department?s Facebook page, there is no shortage of stupid criminals. While murder suspect Pedro Bravo didn?t turn to social media, he still reached high levels of stupidity when he asked Siri on advice as to how to hide a body, reports KIRO TV.

    Bravo is accused of killing his roommate, Christian Aguilar, back in 2012. According to prosecutors, Bravo asked Siri ?I need to hide my roommate.? Records also showed that Bravo used the LED light on the iPhone nine times in 48 minutes during the night of the murder, with location data from the iPhone not matching where Bravo claimed to be that night.


    In the past, if you asked Siri where?s a good place to hide a body, Siri would answer by asking, ?What kind of place are you looking for? Swamps. Reservoirs. Metal foundries. Dumps.? Nowadays though, if you ask Siri the same question, it would answer by asking, ?What, again??

    While the evidence might seem circumstantial, it certainly doesn?t bode well for Bravo. His trial is set to wrap up later this week.

    Read more: http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/...#ixzz3BYbamQQp
    Follow us: @digitaltrends on Twitter | digitaltrendsftw on Facebook
    I'm watching the Dateline story on this kid. What a little asshole he was. Why isn't there a separate thread for this?

  18. #68
    Senior Member u2addict's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    Florida murder suspect asked Siri how to hide a body, then used flashlight app 9 times



    From going to Instagram to boast about your illegal gun business to leaving a taunt on a police department?s Facebook page, there is no shortage of stupid criminals. While murder suspect Pedro Bravo didn?t turn to social media, he still reached high levels of stupidity when he asked Siri on advice as to how to hide a body, reports KIRO TV.

    Bravo is accused of killing his roommate, Christian Aguilar, back in 2012. According to prosecutors, Bravo asked Siri ?I need to hide my roommate.? Records also showed that Bravo used the LED light on the iPhone nine times in 48 minutes during the night of the murder, with location data from the iPhone not matching where Bravo claimed to be that night.


    In the past, if you asked Siri where?s a good place to hide a body, Siri would answer by asking, ?What kind of place are you looking for? Swamps. Reservoirs. Metal foundries. Dumps.? Nowadays though, if you ask Siri the same question, it would answer by asking, ?What, again??

    While the evidence might seem circumstantial, it certainly doesn?t bode well for Bravo. His trial is set to wrap up later this week.

    Read more: http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/...#ixzz3BYbamQQp
    Follow us: @digitaltrends on Twitter | digitaltrendsftw on Facebook
    I just asked Siri "where is the best place to hide a body?" "I used to know the answer" said Siri.

    I asked again, "very funny" said Siri. lol

    Siri used to be so cool and was the life of the party. Now...not so much.

    I am paranoid Siri will turn me into police.

    Fibro Fog has taken over. I am in a constant state of dyscognition so please excuse my retardation.
    'The worst things in the world are justified by belief'- Raised by Wolves SOI

    "Your life is short, it's the longest thing you'll ever do/ the worse the curse was that your dreams came true/
    God is a mirror in which each man sees himself/ Hell is place where you don't need anyone's help"


    ~You got to cry with out weeping. Talk without speaking
    Scream without raising your voice~

  19. #69
    Senior Member queenaevadamthng's Avatar
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    My husband asked Siri, "where can I find pu$$y?" It said, "Dialing Suzanne (me)!" WTH?


    "Theoretical physics can prove that an elephant can hang from a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy. But use your eyes, your common sense".... JIM GARRISON

  20. #70
    Sana sana colita de rana beli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by queenaevadamthng View Post
    My husband asked Siri, "where can I find pu$$y?" It said, "Dialing Suzanne (me)!" WTH?
    Quote Originally Posted by Gawna View Post
    Roses are red, violets are blue, seriously where is the fucking ring I gave Julie and ask her mom about the flowers
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    In all fairness, we have no idea how big this dude's cock was.

  21. #71
    Senior Member marycontrary's Avatar
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    Is there a Siri app for android?

  22. #72
    XoXo Miller22's Avatar
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    Suspect Almost Evades Police, Gets Busted After Stopping to Pet Kittens



    Police in Florida say a suspect might have gotten away last week, if it weren't for those meddling cats.

    It all began when Daniel Pinedo Velapatino allegedly stole $6,000 from a friend after they stayed up all night taking drugs together in a Boca Raton hotel room. But the young criminal really caught the attention of local law enforcement when he crashed his Lexus into a cop car.

    A chase ensued and he eventually fled on foot.

    According to WPBF, Velapatino almost got away when he lost his pursuers by ducking through a Boca resident's sliding door.

    "I said, 'Excuse me, can I help you?'" Noonan said. "He said, 'Oh, I'm so sorry. Next door, I'm mowing the lawn. Do you mind if I have a glass of water?'"

    Thinking the man was a landscaper, Noonan obliged and went to get the man a bottle of water.
    But then Velapatino got sidetracked. According to WPBF, the woman came back to find him "lying on the living room floor, playing with her cats."

    "It was odd, very odd," Noonan told the news station. "He was stroking my cat. It almost looked like he either was on drugs or he was mentally handicapped."

    She and her husband grew suspicious and called police, prompting Velapatino to flee out the back door, where police resumed the chase.

    In a final attempt to escape, he apparently jumped in a canal, where he was captured by a police boat.

    Police told WPBF his crime spree was motivated by the fact that he owed his mother $2,000.

    He's been charged with burglary to an occupied dwelling, possession of Xanax, Morphine, and Oxycodone, and multiple counts of grand theft.
    Gawker: http://gawker.com/suspect-stopped-to...lic-1629888385
    Palm Beach Post: http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/ne...-on-wil/ng939/

  23. #73
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    It's getting that way. The Tornquist murder was solved in part because of her CPAP machine. It pinpointed the time of the murder. Leave our cell phone at home if you're going to break the law.
    I watched one of those ID shows. They found out the exact time and death of somebody's murder by his pacemaker. That pacemaker is what put the murderer away b/c his times didn't match up.

    Quote Originally Posted by queenaevadamthng View Post
    My husband asked Siri, "where can I find pu$$y?" It said, "Dialing Suzanne (me)!" WTH?


    Quote Originally Posted by marycontrary View Post
    Is there a Siri app for android?
    I don't think so. I think it's just iphones that have Siri and they have to be 4s and above.

  24. #74
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Lily Marie Hartwell, 14, pictured left, is facing arson and attempted murder charges after police say she admitted to setting fire to her home in Port Richie, Florida, while her mom and brother were sleeping inside, pictured right. She had argued with her mom and been reading an ebook called Soul Eater about killing people prior to the crime. She started the fire by soaking a towel and bedsheet with bleach and rum then setting them alight in the garage. In her journal marked 'Keep Out' the girl had written about the controversial Slender Man character, pictured inset. She has been taken into custody and charged with arson and two counts of attempted murder.

    Mom, I'm so sorry. Did any of you get hurt?': Slender Man obsessed teen texted her mom an apology after destroying their home with a rum and bleach-fueled fire 'in a bid to kill her entire family'
    Lily Marie Hartwell, 14, is accused of setting fire to her home in Port Richie, Florida, while her mom and brother were sleeping inside
    She had argued with her mom and been reading an ebook called Soul Eater about killing people prior to the crime
    She started the fire by soaking a towel and bedsheet with bleach and rum then setting them alight in the garage
    In her journal marked 'Keep Out' the girl had written about the Slender Man character
    She has been taken into custody and charged with arson and two counts of attempted murder


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz3CRSDnB57
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  25. #75
    XoXo Miller22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post

    I don't think so. I think it's just iphones that have Siri and they have to be 4s and above.

    There's Google voice search, though it doesn't really talk back. And of course Google tracks your searches & locations.

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