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Thread: Oh Florida...

  1. #26
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TupeloHoney View Post
    I know y'all love that gif of Bugs sawing off Florida. But ... no! Here's why:


    1. Nobody wants to vacation in extreme South Georgia. Trust me. (Florida's coastline is almost three times the length of the coasts of Ga., N.C. and S.C. combined. The loss of Florida would wipe out a lot of beach.)

    2. Palm trees. I fucking love palm trees.

    3. Florida is a great hurricane buffer for us Georgians.

    4. With Florida gone, Floridians -- and all of their crazy -- would naturally head north. (We don't need anymore Gator fans around here. This is Bulldog country.)


    Florida stays!
    The whole point of sawing off Florida is to send all the crazies into the ocean to be on their own crazy island.

    Also, I vacation in South Carolina. I've heard New Orleans is fun too.


    I wish we could link all of the horrible shit that happens in Florida here. Too much work, no time.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  2. #27
    Senior Member TupeloHoney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    The whole point of sawing off Florida is to send all the crazies into the ocean to be on their own crazy island.

    Also, I vacation in South Carolina. I've heard New Orleans is fun too.


    I wish we could link all of the horrible shit that happens in Florida here. Too much work, no time.

    My husband and I had a blast in NOLA last Halloween, but Lake Pontchartrain is not exactly a popular beach destination.

    We go to Myrtle Beach every now and then ... also Gulf Shores, Ala. ... but with Florida's 600+ miles of beaches no longer attached to the mainland, this is what Myrtle Beach would look like:



    Nightmarish.
    Quote Originally Posted by Not your business View Post
    I will out think the fucking pants off of you and you would thank me for helping you out of them.

  3. #28
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bermstalker View Post
    Ten women to every man, a black market in Viagra, and a 'thriving swingers scene': Welcome to The Villages, Florida, where the elderly residents down Sex on the Square cocktail in 'honor' of woman, 68, arrested for public sex with toyboy
    The Villages in Florida is the world's largest retirement community and has a reputation for naughty behavior
    Peggy Klemm, 68, was arrested for having drunken public sex in the square with toyboy 19 years her junior
    Four days before her arrest she'd been put on probation for drunk driving her golf cart
    Local bar has made a $3.75 Sex on the Square cocktail in honor of Peggy, who is married to wheelchair bound husband
    MailOnline went undercover in The Villages and found a thriving swingers scene, a black market in Viagra
    Dubbed Disney World for old people, there are 10 women to every man and their antics would make Mickey Mouse blush
    Resident Belinda Beard, 62, said: 'All of the women work hard to look good... Turn your back for a minute and someone will try to steal your husband'
    Swimming in cheap booze and sunshine 'every night is Saturday night'
    One of its most infamous residents was a retired biology teacher who called his manhood Mr Midnight


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz34tbdUidx
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    i take offence to the continued use of the word 'toyboy' rather than the more traditional 'boytoy' in this article.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  4. #29
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    i take offence to the continued use of the word 'toyboy' rather than the more traditional 'boytoy' in this article.
    I take offense to you not getting off my fence.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  5. #30
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    I take offense to you not getting off my fence.
    how many times do i need to explain this to you. it's not like using a culturally divergent spelling of a word can land me in gaol. gad!
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  6. #31
    Senior Member of_corpse_not's Avatar
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    450-pound Florida man arrested after police allegedly find cocaine and marijuana in stomach fat

    DELTONA, Fla. ? A man who weighs about 450 pounds faces multiple charges after Florida police say he hid cocaine and 23 grams of marijuana under his ?stomach fat.?

    According to a new release, a Volusia County sheriff?s deputy stopped a vehicle Friday after noticing that the passenger wasn?t wearing a seatbelt.

    Officials say 42-year-old Christopher Mitchell told the deputy that he?s too big to wear a seatbelt. The deputy says he requested a drug-detecting dog because Mitchell and the driver appeared nervous. The dog detected the presence of drugs in the vehicle.

    In addition to the drugs on Mitchell, deputies say they also found a handgun and $7,000 in cash in the vehicle.

    Mitchell and the driver were arrested. It was not clear whether Mitchell has an attorney.
    http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/06...n-stomach-fat/

  7. #32
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    i would not smoke bellybutton weed.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  8. #33
    Senior Member TupeloHoney's Avatar
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    Greetings from Florida ... wow this really sucks. I'm in hell here. Hahaha jk it's awesome :)
    Quote Originally Posted by Not your business View Post
    I will out think the fucking pants off of you and you would thank me for helping you out of them.

  9. #34
    Senior Member hamdinger125's Avatar
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    Where you at?

  10. #35
    Senior Member TupeloHoney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hamdinger125 View Post
    Where you at?
    We're home now, unfortunately, but we were in Neptune Beach (Jacksonville). We go every July with my mom, dad, sis, bro-in-law and niece. We love it. All the restaurants and shops are right outside our hotel, so we never have to drive anywhere. And the hotel has an open-air, seaside bar. I highly recommend it if you decide to visit the First Coast instead of the Emerald Coast.


    A view from the water (red tent/blue umbrella in center is our encampment):





    Looking south ... you can see the larger hotels of Jax Beach in the distance:





    But, the Sunshine State is indeed a brutal and horrific place. Just look at this vicious spider crab eating a poor, defenseless jellyfish on the beach! And no one even tried to help. Because ... FLORIDA! (nom nom nom)







    Quote Originally Posted by Not your business View Post
    I will out think the fucking pants off of you and you would thank me for helping you out of them.

  11. #36
    Don't drink sanitizer! raisedbywolves's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    George Zimmerman & Casey Anthony are both given. Amusingly enough, Casey Anthony was in my dream last night - and it was fucking random as shit.




    http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/weird...apons/8988441/
    This is my jetski lake. Maybe I need to find a new lake.

  12. #37
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    Emerald Coast is better than the First Coast; especially in early May and after Labor Day.

    Pensacola/Destin >>> Jacksonville

  13. #38
    Senior Member puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AtlantaAndy View Post
    Emerald Coast is better than the First Coast; especially in early May and after Labor Day.

    Pensacola/Destin >>> Jacksonville
    I love Pensacola. It's one of my favorite places in the world. I wish I was there right now.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  14. #39
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Tupelo ruined this thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  15. #40
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    Tupelo ruined this thread.
    You kidding? All that beach shit just convinced me to stay even further away.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  16. #41
    XoXo Miller22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    You kidding? All that beach shit just convinced me to stay even further away.

    +1

  17. #42
    Senior Member TupeloHoney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shins View Post
    Tupelo ruined this thread.
    If loving Florida is wrong, I don't want to be right.




    Here ... I'll make it up to you:

    http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/local...arty/12465691/

    Teacher suspended for twerking with students

    (July 10, 2014) JACKSONVILLE, FL (CBS12) -- A Jacksonville middle school teacher has been suspended without pay after an investigation found that she taught students to twerk at a party for the soccer team, according to WTEV.

    Investigators say Courtney Spruill, known as Coach Perry by students at Kernan Middle School, attended the soccer team's party at a player's home in May. While there, she's accused of drinking alcohol, twerking with students and receiving a lap dance from a student, which was filmed.

    The player's mom was home during the party and said that although Spruill brought vodka as a gift, the soccer coach drank soda all night.


    Quote Originally Posted by Not your business View Post
    I will out think the fucking pants off of you and you would thank me for helping you out of them.

  18. #43
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    http://www.upworthy.com/on-his-1st-d...awkward?c=ufb1

    On His 1st Day, A (Florida) Congressman Assumes His Brown-Skinned Colleagues Are Foreigners. It Gets Awkward.


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA

    *gasp*


    BBBAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



    Holy shit.


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ahhhh fuck.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  19. #44
    XoXo Miller22's Avatar
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    Oh yeah - that was totally awesome. And not a single person corrected him the entire time they were there. Comedy GOLD.

  20. #45
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    Oh yeah - that was totally awesome. And not a single person corrected him the entire time they were there. Comedy GOLD.
    well, they waited and told him that they were sure his words were ment for the indian government and that they share his sentiments.

    that was hard to watch. he looked so smug.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  21. #46
    XoXo Miller22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    well, they waited and told him that they were sure his words were ment for the indian government and that they share his sentiments.

    that was hard to watch. he looked so smug.
    The clip I saw, there was more.

  22. #47
    fun hater Shins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    well, they waited and told him that they were sure his words were ment for the indian government and that they share his sentiments.

    that was hard to watch. he looked so smug.

    Sad thing is, I don't even think he got it.... These are the fucking morons in our government.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Listen, if no one cares when a crazy noodle walks in and executes children with a gun, no one cares about anything.

  23. #48
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miller22 View Post
    The clip I saw, there was more.
    hahaha. i had to look up the whole thing. he was actually attempting to be a prick to foreign diplomats. i think he got it afterwards but was teeth grinding and unable to pull himself from his practiced argument.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  24. #49
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Florida grandmother charged with stabbing to death grandson, 7, because she was 'fed up' with babysitting
    Florida woman, Martha White, 63, was charged with first-degree murder Wednesday in the tragic death of her grandson, Mason Rhinehart
    Leon County Sheriff's Office spokesman Lt. James McQuaig said it was too early in the investigation to determine a motive
    White allegedly interrupted Mason and his 8-year-old brother as they played video games Tuesday morning, and told them she had a surprise for them
    She then allegedly took Mason into the Killearn Lakes Plantation home's bathroom and locked the door
    Mason's brother told police he heard him start to cry inside the locked bathroom and beg his grandmother for mercy


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz39h78U0pV
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  25. #50
    Senior Member bermstalker's Avatar
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    Man 'sexually abused his girlfriend's children for five years, smoked meth with one of them - and their mother did nothing to stop him but became jealous'
    Shawn Ussery, 42, of Florida, charged with sexual battery and aggravated child abuse
    His 37-year-old live-in girlfriend is facing counts of failure to protect children and lewd and lascivious exhibition
    Arrest reports state the mother performed oral sex on Ussery in front of a child because she was jealous and said: 'he was mine first'
    Ussery is accused of smoking meth with one of the kids just three days before his arrest


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz39hsYDHPg
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