Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 52

Thread: Madison Holleran (19) jumped to her death from a parking garage

  1. #26
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Under your bed
    Posts
    23,483
    Rep Power
    21474870
    My first day of college was so overwhelming it was crazy. And I just went to a State University. I wasn't a 4.0 student in High School, but I was a major piano whiz and that's what I went on to study. I remember coming home EXHAUSTED. Both mentally and physically with a million things running through my head. Am I cut out for this? Am I going to justify my Mom breaking her back as a single Mom paying for tuition? HOW do I live up to this standard? Is EVERY day going to be like this?!

    And that was just at a State University and living at home.

    They gave us a lecture on "cults" during orientation. Where was the lecture on dealing with stress, pressure and where to go if you had suicidal thoughts?

    ETA: Oh yeah....that wasn't included.......
    Last edited by Boston Babe 73; 01-22-2014 at 09:20 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



  2. #27
    Senior Member sweetleftpeg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Newcastle upon Tyne, That there England
    Posts
    318
    Rep Power
    11767897
    Interesting about her family saying she was a perfectionist. Perfectionists usually have a form of OCD which can lead on to mental health issues. It might not even have been the work per say, but the whole new routine thing, which can really mess with the head of an OCD sufferer. Just a theory anyone.

  3. #28
    Sana sana colita de rana beli's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    25,845
    Rep Power
    21474876
    I've started seeing how my ways and perfectionism has been affecting my oldest. I see so much of myself in him when he beats himself up for not being "perfect". He is really hard on himself if he tries something new and doesn't pick up on it the first time, doesn't win, etc. I guess the only thing I can do is lead by example and continue to reassure him that he doesn't have to be perfect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gawna View Post
    Roses are red, violets are blue, seriously where is the fucking ring I gave Julie and ask her mom about the flowers
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    In all fairness, we have no idea how big this dude's cock was.

  4. #29
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sacramento, California
    Posts
    12,775
    Rep Power
    21474861
    My younger sister was the total opposite of me when it came to college. I dropped out because it was getting in the way of my partying, and I really just wasn't interested in college. My sister though, just graduated last year, after going back and getting her masters in psychology. Now she is working at a school with kids who are struggling in their education, or just life in general. I am so proud of her. Even after she graduated after 4 years, she still went back to get her masters. My dad paid for everything, her schooling, her rent & bills, food, etc. He was insistent that she didn't work at all while in school, so that she could concentrate on just her schooling and not have to stress about also working and stuff. She was lucky our dad was able to d that, because a lot of other kids don't have that option and have to work to pay for school and other stuff. Also, she made sure to make time for friends and do fun things, so she had a way to let off steam and not let school work consume her entire life. I think that is very important, it helps get your mind off the stressful stuff.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  5. #30
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    65,362
    Rep Power
    21474919
    It sounds like this girl had serious anxiety about stuff, too. It doesn't seem like anyone was applying pressure but her.

  6. #31
    Senior Member Turtlebcrazy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    103
    Rep Power
    1991117
    This is just like the situation with Linnea Lomax (there's a thread for her). I was in the outpatient program with Linnea when she disappeared. I literally watched her walk out the door of the treatment center the day she decided to run away. It still kinda haunts me. Anyway, it sounds like this poor girl had the same OCD problems. So sad. Young, smart, beautiful girls... just gone forever.

  7. #32
    Administrator Olivia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    26,644
    Rep Power
    21474880
    Quote Originally Posted by Turtlebcrazy View Post
    This is just like the situation with Linnea Lomax (there's a thread for her). I was in the outpatient program with Linnea when she disappeared. I literally watched her walk out the door of the treatment center the day she decided to run away. It still kinda haunts me. Anyway, it sounds like this poor girl had the same OCD problems. So sad. Young, smart, beautiful girls... just gone forever.
    Were you close with Linnea?

  8. #33
    Senior Member Turtlebcrazy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    California
    Posts
    103
    Rep Power
    1991117
    Quote Originally Posted by Olivia View Post
    Were you close with Linnea?
    No, I only met her in the program we were in. Helped search for her and such after she left. It was a horrible feeling. I think about her every time I go to or drive by the river.

  9. #34
    Senior Member SuchAClassicGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Where they don't have maps.......such as..
    Posts
    2,270
    Rep Power
    21474850
    Quote Originally Posted by Angiebla View Post
    I was a horrible college student when I was 18-25 too. I went back at age 27, with my priorities straight and I did so much better this time around. I had no idea what I wanted when I was that young. At 27 I had the maturity, life experience and coping skills that enabled me to deal with setbacks better.
    Agree totally. The difference between my undergrad GPA and my graduate GPA 6 years later was huge!
    Quote Originally Posted by blighted star
    I was about to be annoyed that this thread was still active, but I see now it's morphed into offers of sex for chilli confectionary, so carry on guys :)

  10. #35
    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Up your ass should you make the mistake of pissing me off.
    Posts
    4,771
    Rep Power
    21474857
    Quote Originally Posted by Katerss View Post
    I understand the stress and worries of school.

    I'm 20 years old and in the past 6 months have had thoughts of suicide just from the stress and expectations of school.
    My brother quit school without trying first and didn't fit anywhere else career wise and put a burden on my parents financially until he got his shit just barely together.
    My dad put this expectation on me that I was going to be better than that, I have to be.
    I got a 4.0 in high school and my first year in college.
    I entered a medical field, and aced the first semester of classes, with the constant pressure of my parents.
    I ended the second semester with a 3.5(overall was 3.8). When I made my first B and my parents heard, they were disappointed in me as was I. I cried so much for failing myself and my parents.
    My dad expects me to graduate with a 4.0, top of my class.
    I study so much too, night and day. Barely have any free time to myself. It doesn't matter how much I study, the test questions are purposely overly tricky and most of the time doesn't even test my actual knowledge. I just had a test today that asked me the unit of something, I re-read the book and couldn't even find that anywhere. Not in the lecture, or anything.
    I'm suppose to be their amazing child who is better than everyone else.
    The pressure from my parents, and the constant studying has pushed me to the edge many times. I can't take it most days and I just want to give up.
    But my parents say "You just have one more year of it, suck it up and keep studying, you don't want to be like your brother"

    It's so unfortunate, she was so beautiful and obviously really intelligent, just not according to her standards(and maybe her parents)
    I would jump too, but I'd rather jump off a bridge into the water, not on concrete. I've seen too many of those photos and wouldn't want to haunt anyone's nightmares like that.
    I hope she found peace. One of the worst feelings is feeling like you did your best and finding out, it wasn't your best at all.
    Katerss, I'm with others here...please know that grades are nothing to contemplate suicide over. The person who graduates with the lowest GPA in medical school is still called "doctor". And believe me when I tell you that book smart does not equal "real world smart" when you become a professional. Sometimes expectations fail us all, and the only person you are truly accountable to is yourself.

    As a teen in college I did total shit, and paid the price for it by being academically suspended twice. It's embarrassing when you look back and see that your gpa for that time is a 0.8. Yeah. Zero point eight. Like, F minus territory. It took until I was 21 and a few years in between before I realized what I needed to do and could make up for the mistakes I made.

    The point of college is learning how to learn, and gaining knowledge in a variety of different subjects that will (supposedly) help you gain a foothold in society and make you a productive member of it. That doesn't mean that anything below an "A" isn't good enough, at all. Just because you don't get an "A" does not in any way mean you didn't grasp a subject or do your best work. I had an instructor, actually more than one, who never gave out A's. Ever. There were no bell shaped curves in those classes. Oh, and they sucked as professors, too...but I digress.

    You are still your parents' amazing child, you are just having to come to grips with a difficult situation. No reason for them to lose faith in you, or for you to lose faith in yourself. No reason whatsoever. The best grades don't indicate future success, that has many more factors attached to it. Sarahric puts it well, no one is going to ask your gpa in a job interview. No one. It's simply not important. College is just as much about experiences as it is about learning. Sounds like you're too burdened in one area to even consider the other, and I hate that for you. Please, please don't do anything crazy.

    If you need to, talk to your professors to see what it is you're doing wrong or what you can do better. Or, (and it's just a suggestion)..take heart in the notion that sometimes a perfect gpa is beyond reach. I realize that might be a little insulting because you've always been great and your parents have such high expectations, but it may just be that way for now. Doesn't mean things won't change next semester, but for now.... Keep plugging and studying and you'll get through it, perfect grades or not.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

  11. #36
    Junior Member readymade's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    25
    Rep Power
    0
    This poor girl. I can totally relate. I graduated with a 3.8097 GPA, summa cum laude honors, while working 2 part-time jobs. I was 5th in my class at college. But good god was I depressed! My senior year was where it got bad. I could handle the balance and work of college just fine (I partly credit OCD for this). But knowing that the end of college was near was what totally freaked me out. I would be leaving the security and support of that academic structure for the unknown real world of careers, and I didn't want to do that. I was crying in the middle of classes, just from worry and fear. Everyone was like, "What's wrong with you?!" People were not so understanding.

    Over winter break, my mom noticed my obviously depressed state (I was in denial) and took me to the doctor and got me antidepressants, which I reluctantly took - I was convinced that I didn't need anyone's help, or any silly mental health meds, and I was worried they would screw with my brain. I think if she hadn't done that, I wouldn't have made it through that last semester.

    I still battle depression, especially in the winter, and honestly the only reason I haven't acted on it suicide-wise is because my mother would be stuck with my obnoxiously high student loan debt, and also because I fear she'd be so depressed, she might follow my lead (mental illness runs in the family for several generations, at least).

    I'm in therapy, on antidepressants. For the reasons above, I don't think I'd do the suicide thing, but right now my depression is so bad, I didn't even get out of bed today. I've been having a tough time career-wise (my friends all consider me successful but I'm not on the right career path, my job makes me hate my life, and I came in second for two separate dream jobs within the last 6 months, which is like having the rug pulled out from under your heart while eating spaghetti in mid-air, twice) and my student loans eat most of my paychecks (and the whole relationship thing does not work for me, so I guess maybe I'm lonely). I think if I owned a gun or something that would make suicide quick and easy, I'd def. already be gone during one of my lowest moments.

    Anyway, Katerss, hang in there. I'm almost 10 years out of college and I'm thinking of going back...for art therapy. I was happier and safer there, but holy moly, more student loans :'(

    I hope Madison has found her much needed peace.

  12. #37
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Memphis, Tennessee, United States
    Posts
    606
    Rep Power
    9930122
    Thanks for the rep Queena! I didn't know I had any at all and saw I have a few! As for being a great parent, thanks for saying that, I strongly believe that supporting your kids is very important. I have 3, my daughter, gets good grades but has to work at it. My 13 year old son, is extremely smart and never has to study and always gets highest honors, my 10 yr old son thinks an F is a good grade lol.

  13. #38
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Under your bed
    Posts
    23,483
    Rep Power
    21474870
    Quote Originally Posted by kevansvault View Post
    Katerss, I'm with others here...please know that grades are nothing to contemplate suicide over. The person who graduates with the lowest GPA in medical school is still called "doctor". And believe me when I tell you that book smart does not equal "real world smart" when you become a professional. Sometimes expectations fail us all, and the only person you are truly accountable to is yourself.

    As a teen in college I did total shit, and paid the price for it by being academically suspended twice. It's embarrassing when you look back and see that your gpa for that time is a 0.8. Yeah. Zero point eight. Like, F minus territory. It took until I was 21 and a few years in between before I realized what I needed to do and could make up for the mistakes I made.

    The point of college is learning how to learn, and gaining knowledge in a variety of different subjects that will (supposedly) help you gain a foothold in society and make you a productive member of it. That doesn't mean that anything below an "A" isn't good enough, at all. Just because you don't get an "A" does not in any way mean you didn't grasp a subject or do your best work. I had an instructor, actually more than one, who never gave out A's. Ever. There were no bell shaped curves in those classes. Oh, and they sucked as professors, too...but I digress.

    You are still your parents' amazing child, you are just having to come to grips with a difficult situation. No reason for them to lose faith in you, or for you to lose faith in yourself. No reason whatsoever. The best grades don't indicate future success, that has many more factors attached to it. Sarahric puts it well, no one is going to ask your gpa in a job interview. No one. It's simply not important. College is just as much about experiences as it is about learning. Sounds like you're too burdened in one area to even consider the other, and I hate that for you. Please, please don't do anything crazy.

    If you need to, talk to your professors to see what it is you're doing wrong or what you can do better. Or, (and it's just a suggestion)..take heart in the notion that sometimes a perfect gpa is beyond reach. I realize that might be a little insulting because you've always been great and your parents have such high expectations, but it may just be that way for now. Doesn't mean things won't change next semester, but for now.... Keep plugging and studying and you'll get through it, perfect grades or not.
    I must concur with the professors that never gave out "A"s. ALL Music Majors had to take Music History with Doctor Ogasapian at UMASS Lowell. And he was the ONE and only Professor to teach the class. May not seem like much, but UMASS Lowell is a LEADING school for Music in the country. People transferred from Berklee and said they had a harder time with UMASS Music. Anyway, it wasn't "fun" Music History. It was Gregorian and Melismatic Chant type history. And he only gave ONE class's. 8AM in the morning and rigid as all fuck. Anyway, many had to take it multiple times to pass and "D" meant "done " and you were actually congratulated when you got a "D". So don't be so hard on yourself. Sometimes it's not your intelligence that is being measured. It's the sadistic nature of the instructor.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



  14. #39
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    72
    Rep Power
    1351418
    Coming from a Chinese family, in our culture it is very much worth killing oneself over doing poorly academically. It's partly why the suicide rate in East Asian countries is so high. It's not a sin like it is in the West, but rather a way to atone for one's sins and is even considered an honourable favour. Personally, I dropped out of a competitive university and had to deal with tremendous shame from my family and other sources, but in the end I know it's not worth dying over, because I've been molded to think suicide is wrong. I hope Madison is at peace.

  15. #40
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Under your bed
    Posts
    23,483
    Rep Power
    21474870
    Quote Originally Posted by Bonnie Hu View Post
    Coming from a Chinese family, in our culture it is very much worth killing oneself over doing poorly academically. It's partly why the suicide rate in East Asian countries is so high. It's not a sin like it is in the West, but rather a way to atone for one's sins and is even considered an honourable favour. Personally, I dropped out of a competitive university and had to deal with tremendous shame from my family and other sources, but in the end I know it's not worth dying over, because I've been molded to think suicide is wrong. I hope Madison is at peace.
    I'm so sorry your Family shamed you. And I'm glad you're here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



  16. #41
    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Illinois but the Southern part, which kind of sucks
    Posts
    2,490
    Rep Power
    21474849
    Quote Originally Posted by dtfpaf798 View Post
    Thanks for the rep Queena! I didn't know I had any at all and saw I have a few! As for being a great parent, thanks for saying that, I strongly believe that supporting your kids is very important. I have 3, my daughter, gets good grades but has to work at it. My 13 year old son, is extremely smart and never has to study and always gets highest honors, my 10 yr old son thinks an F is a good grade lol.
    I had that talk with my sister/daughter about not being so hard on herself. I also told her to expect college to be much, much harder.

  17. #42
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    I REFUSE TO SAY
    Posts
    17,569
    Rep Power
    21474869
    This makes me sad because from day one I pressured my oldest to do the best and bring home perfect grades. Now he's in high school, 11th grade and when he gets a b on a Spanish test he gets so upset. I have since relaxed big time over him being perfect but he still remembers me stressing it to him.
    Each one of my boys is different academically. Bodhi, by far is the most intense person when it comes to his grades. I learned not to pressure the boys so much. If I get a report card abs they have a c, but the comments from the teacher are that my son is not focusing or goofing off then yes, they aren't applying themselves.
    If they genuinely have a hard time learning a subject I understand and do whatever I can to help.
    I feel for this girl and her family.

    I'm gonna make sure my boys have time after high school graduation to relax before they go to college.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Tree Wizard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    251
    Rep Power
    4694285
    Quote Originally Posted by Katerss View Post
    I understand the stress and worries of school.

    I'm 20 years old and in the past 6 months have had thoughts of suicide just from the stress and expectations of school.
    My brother quit school without trying first and didn't fit anywhere else career wise and put a burden on my parents financially until he got his shit just barely together.
    My dad put this expectation on me that I was going to be better than that, I have to be.
    I got a 4.0 in high school and my first year in college.
    I entered a medical field, and aced the first semester of classes, with the constant pressure of my parents.
    I ended the second semester with a 3.5(overall was 3.8). When I made my first B and my parents heard, they were disappointed in me as was I. I cried so much for failing myself and my parents.
    My dad expects me to graduate with a 4.0, top of my class.
    I study so much too, night and day. Barely have any free time to myself. It doesn't matter how much I study, the test questions are purposely overly tricky and most of the time doesn't even test my actual knowledge. I just had a test today that asked me the unit of something, I re-read the book and couldn't even find that anywhere. Not in the lecture, or anything.
    I'm suppose to be their amazing child who is better than everyone else.
    The pressure from my parents, and the constant studying has pushed me to the edge many times. I can't take it most days and I just want to give up.
    But my parents say "You just have one more year of it, suck it up and keep studying, you don't want to be like your brother"
    Do not live for your parents. They have already burdened you by bringing you here to satisfy their own lives.

    Honestly, live for yourself. That may mean changing your idea of where you want to be. Maybe you'll still want to be a doctor, maybe you'll want to live in a tent and detach yourself from society. Who knows.

    Relax -- everything you experience is likely IT. Why live a stressful life, especially for others?


  19. #44
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    17,287
    Rep Power
    21474865
    Quote Originally Posted by Tree Wizard View Post
    Do not live for your parents. They have already burdened you by bringing you here to satisfy their own lives.

    Honestly, live for yourself. That may mean changing your idea of where you want to be. Maybe you'll still want to be a doctor, maybe you'll want to live in a tent and detach yourself from society. Who knows.

    Relax -- everything you experience is likely IT. Why live a stressful life, especially for others?

    i never thought of it this way!
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  20. #45
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Under your bed
    Posts
    23,483
    Rep Power
    21474870
    Quote Originally Posted by Tree Wizard View Post
    Do not live for your parents. They have already burdened you by bringing you here to satisfy their own lives.

    Honestly, live for yourself. That may mean changing your idea of where you want to be. Maybe you'll still want to be a doctor, maybe you'll want to live in a tent and detach yourself from society. Who knows.

    Relax -- everything you experience is likely IT. Why live a stressful life, especially for others?

    Tis truth. Yep. Tis.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



  21. #46
    Administrator Olivia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    26,644
    Rep Power
    21474880
    New article including parts of her suicide note. Poor girl.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ocial-facebook

  22. #47
    Senior Member Queena's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Illinois but the Southern part, which kind of sucks
    Posts
    2,490
    Rep Power
    21474849
    Quote Originally Posted by Olivia View Post
    New article including parts of her suicide note. Poor girl.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ocial-facebook
    I read that. Poor girl really couldn't take it. She tried to get help, but didn't hold on long enough to try medication. I almost shed a tear at the gifts she left her family.

  23. #48
    This story has really stuck with me, and there's been a few follow-ups since then I have read I thought y'all might like to see. Her parents have used what happened to increase awareness of depression in seemingly "normal" people, and try to take away the stigma of seeking psychiatric help=shameful, weak, etc.

    Also, since I'm in my mid 30's I was right on the edge of being immersed in the social media generation; I have a Facebook and Instagram and love them but didn't have to grow up as a high schooler/college student with that being something I had to always think about and include as a way to show what was going on in my life. They said that Madison really had a hard time seeing her high school friend's Instagram feeds looking so happy at college, with so many friends, etc. Turns out of course that social media provides a veneer of perfection that is rarely the whole story.

    Anyway, here's an interesting article/video done by ESPN called "Life Unfiltered." It's really moving, but (IMO) surprisingly detailed about her last few hours and how/where she committed suicide.

    http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/stor...nly-part-story

  24. #49
    Moderator Bewitchingstorm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Never have I been a blue, calm sea...I have always been a storm.
    Posts
    11,719
    Rep Power
    21474856
    That is a great article - thanks for posting it, Scarlett.

  25. #50
    Senior Member kevansvault's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Up your ass should you make the mistake of pissing me off.
    Posts
    4,771
    Rep Power
    21474857
    Shit, I've only read the first few paragraphs and I'm already hella sad. I'm going for a bike ride and I'll read it later.
    Don't like what I have to say? I respect that. Go fuck yourself.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •