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Thread: Chit Chat

  1. #10101
    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    So, for background, I don't tend to believe in dreams but my mom and especially her mom always were people very influenced by their dreams. Mom's older brother died last April. Mom claims he's been coming to her in her dreams most nights lately. telling her not to be afraid... when she dies, he will be there to meet her and to take her home to the loved ones who've gone on ahead.
    I 100% believe he's visiting her in her dreams. I'm sure it comforts her to know he's still there for her.

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  2. #10102
    Senior Member KimTisha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    So, for background, I don't tend to believe in dreams but my mom and especially her mom always were people very influenced by their dreams. Mom's older brother died last April. Mom claims he's been coming to her in her dreams most nights lately. telling her not to be afraid... when she dies, he will be there to meet her and to take her home to the loved ones who've gone on ahead.
    Not a doubt in my mind your Uncle is visiting your Mom, especially since she believes so strongly in it, making it a logical way for him to contact her. I imagine she's comforted in knowing her brother will escort her to the other side. They must have been very close.

    When my father was on hospice, the nurse told us we shouldn't be alarmed if Dad began to "hallucinate" and believe he sees relatives who have died, and then she went on to explain the physiology of hallucinations. As she droned on, the thought occurred to me that Samaritan Hospice doesn't believe in spirits. Interesting.
    You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
    ...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...

  3. #10103
    Moderator puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I put some faith in dreams. I truly believe that our loved ones visit us in our dreams because you're in a state where perhaps the veil is lifted a bit and that their energy can maybe peek inside. That being said, I think that what they say or do in our dreams can be influenced by what we want them to say or do as well. It's kind of a combo in my belief. They're there to show that they are still around but what they do and say is made up of a combo of what we want them to say to us and what they want to say to us. If that makes any sense.

    I think that if these dreams give her comfort, then amazing. We all need a little of that right now
    I think it does help her to believe that she won't ever be alone. She was 1 of 14 siblings so alone isn't something she's dealt with.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  4. #10104
    Moderator puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angiebla View Post
    I 100% believe he's visiting her in her dreams. I'm sure it comforts her to know he's still there for her.
    Yes. I'm a skeptic but I'll keep my doubts to myself.
    Quote Originally Posted by KimTisha View Post
    Not a doubt in my mind your Uncle is visiting your Mom, especially since she believes so strongly in it, making it a logical way for him to contact her. I imagine she's comforted in knowing her brother will escort her to the other side. They must have been very close.

    When my father was on hospice, the nurse told us we shouldn't be alarmed if Dad began to "hallucinate" and believe he sees relatives who have died, and then she went on to explain the physiology of hallucinations. As she droned on, the thought occurred to me that Samaritan Hospice doesn't believe in spirits. Interesting.
    He was her big brother and really the one of all the family that would throw his home open for family reunions, so yeah they were close, and then with him dying during this pandemic she didn't get to say goodbye or go to his funeral so that was hard for her.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  5. #10105
    Senior Member KimTisha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    Yes. I'm a skeptic but I'll keep my doubts to myself.


    He was her big brother and really the one of all the family that would throw his home open for family reunions, so yeah they were close, and then with him dying during this pandemic she didn't get to say goodbye or go to his funeral so that was hard for her.
    I'm a huge Believer. Sounds to me like he's making up for that now. I really hope your Mom sees this for the blessing it is.
    You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
    ...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...

  6. #10106
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    I want to hear the gossip on why Nic is firing her cleaning lady.

  7. #10107
    What do you care? Boston Babe 73's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raisedbywolves View Post
    I want to hear the gossip on why Nic is firing her cleaning lady.
    Wait. What did I miss? Nic, give us the tea!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    That is too pretty to be shoved up an ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    You can take those Fleets and shove them up your ass



  8. #10108
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    Wait. What did I miss? Nic, give us the tea!
    There are quite a few reasons, mostly she just hasn't been doing a good job lately. I think it's because she started having her daughter help her. I think she has her daughter do the things she doesn't want to deal with. The last time she cleaned and I got home, my shower was straight up not cleaned. Now, I hate to complain and the last year she misses things, I just do it myself. But the fact my shower wasn't even touched, AND the one thing I asked her to do (clean under the microwave because we got ants in that area) she straight up didn't do either....I finally said something. Instead of her apologizing she tried to blame the shower on her daughter. THEN said it was my fault because we had to re-caulk it before she could clean it. Okay....so a few reasons. Why didn't she say anything to me then? Why did I have to notice and say something?

    That was also right before Christmas and I had paid her extra money on top of what I usually do since it was the holidays. I also made her this nice basket and filled it with lots of nice chocolates and I also put in a ton of Reeses cause that is her favorite. I couldn't find any of the half pounds cups I got her the previous year so I got the Reeses in the tree shapes.

    Now here's the real punch in the gut. While she was supposed to be cleaning my house, she posted on facebook a "survey" for people, asking "would you rather get half pound cups or the Reeses Christmas trees?" When people said the half pound cups, she commented :yes! Thank you!" It was SO rude. How ungrateful. I spent almost $100 on that basket and I made it myself, I didn't just buy one that already came filled.

    Oh, and she is a trump supporter (not a reason to fire her but makes it easier).


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  9. #10109
    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    There are quite a few reasons, mostly she just hasn't been doing a good job lately. I think it's because she started having her daughter help her. I think she has her daughter do the things she doesn't want to deal with. The last time she cleaned and I got home, my shower was straight up not cleaned. Now, I hate to complain and the last year she misses things, I just do it myself. But the fact my shower wasn't even touched, AND the one thing I asked her to do (clean under the microwave because we got ants in that area) she straight up didn't do either....I finally said something. Instead of her apologizing she tried to blame the shower on her daughter. THEN said it was my fault because we had to re-caulk it before she could clean it. Okay....so a few reasons. Why didn't she say anything to me then? Why did I have to notice and say something?

    That was also right before Christmas and I had paid her extra money on top of what I usually do since it was the holidays. I also made her this nice basket and filled it with lots of nice chocolates and I also put in a ton of Reeses cause that is her favorite. I couldn't find any of the half pounds cups I got her the previous year so I got the Reeses in the tree shapes.

    Now here's the real punch in the gut. While she was supposed to be cleaning my house, she posted on facebook a "survey" for people, asking "would you rather get half pound cups or the Reeses Christmas trees?" When people said the half pound cups, she commented :yes! Thank you!" It was SO rude. How ungrateful. I spent almost $100 on that basket and I made it myself, I didn't just buy one that already came filled.

    Oh, and she is a trump supporter (not a reason to fire her but makes it easier).
    Yup. Dump her. Bringing your child to help isn't professional. Did she provide her own cleaning supplies?
    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't have a thousand dollars hanging around to buy a fart in a jar lol.

  10. #10110
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    I would have fired for any one of those things (including the Trump supporter thing because if someone still supports him at this point I am not sure you want that type of person running around unsupervised in your home with access to your stuff. They obviously don't make good decisions). I would have responded to the FB poll thing and said "bring the basket back and I will trade out the trees for half pound cups" and then got it and kept it and fired her. I'm not usually an ass, but when people act like this towards good people it really pushes my buttons.

  11. #10111
    Moderator puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Yup. Dump her. Bringing your child to help isn't professional. Did she provide her own cleaning supplies?
    1. Communication is key! Hey I couldn't get x done because whatever.

    2. Are we talking a child tho? or an adult daughter? My helpers often bring helpers of their own when the situation demands it. The lady who was doing yard work for us a couple years ago brought her 17 yo daughter to help with weed eating... that kind of thing. Got no problem with that. It was 6 hours of work, the fact that two of them each worked 3 hours? That's fine. But, I hired you. I pay you. Pass whatever share down to you assistant and you're responsible if the job's not done right. When one of mom's aids had stitches and couldn't lift mom she brought her sister to learn the ropes and do the cares that she wasn't able to do. That's a little different because both of them worked a full shift, but I was grateful not to be left in a lurch, so I paid double. (ouch) but getting emergency coverage would be even more, so...

    But yeah, bring your kid to make more work? That's not fine.

    3. I'd rather have the big cups than the trees too! But a gift is a gift and there's a pandemic on. Be grateful it wasn't a handful of minis of some off brand fake chocolate.

    4. As for the Tr#mp supporter thing. I wouldn't fire someone who had a Tr#mp bumper sticker, but keep that man's name outta my house.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  12. #10112
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Thanks guys! I haven't had the nerve to actually fire her yet (I'm too nice and don't know how to say it, plus I don't know of anyone else - it's hard to find someone, a complete stranger, to trust in your home). The only reason I have kept her this long is 1. she's cheap, only cost me $100 so the not-so-great work I tell myself "you get what you pay for". 2. she's an old friend of my sister-in-law so I trusted her in my home more than I would a random person. I think of everything, I was more hurt about the dig at my basket (small, I know, but it really hurt my feelings).

    Her daughter is 18 or 19, I think? So no, not a child. But she just started teaching her daughter and I feel like she should be going over what her daughter does. I mean, simple things that I don't understand. I come home and there are shoe prints all over my living room floor, whoever mopped stepped ALL over it when it was wet. So I end up having to do it again...even I know not to do that, I just don't understand. This stuff didn't happen in the beginning so either she is getting complacent or it's her daughter, who is still learning. I have no issues that her daughter is helping (though she has posted on FB that some clients complain about it, kinda starting to see why) but it's like, maybe check over what she does? How else will her daughter learn unless she lets her know what she missed, what needs work, etc?

    Thanks guys for letting me vent! I work really hard at my job and decided to hire someone to clean just once a month, to give myself a break and do something for me (so I wouldn't have to do the hard labor lol). I am not rich or anything, so it's not like it's an easy expense to have. I guess that is also the frustrating part.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  13. #10113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Thanks guys! I haven't had the nerve to actually fire her yet (I'm too nice and don't know how to say it, plus I don't know of anyone else - it's hard to find someone, a complete stranger, to trust in your home). The only reason I have kept her this long is 1. she's cheap, only cost me $100 so the not-so-great work I tell myself "you get what you pay for". 2. she's an old friend of my sister-in-law so I trusted her in my home more than I would a random person. I think of everything, I was more hurt about the dig at my basket (small, I know, but it really hurt my feelings).

    Her daughter is 18 or 19, I think? So no, not a child. But she just started teaching her daughter and I feel like she should be going over what her daughter does. I mean, simple things that I don't understand. I come home and there are shoe prints all over my living room floor, whoever mopped stepped ALL over it when it was wet. So I end up having to do it again...even I know not to do that, I just don't understand. This stuff didn't happen in the beginning so either she is getting complacent or it's her daughter, who is still learning. I have no issues that her daughter is helping (though she has posted on FB that some clients complain about it, kinda starting to see why) but it's like, maybe check over what she does? How else will her daughter learn unless she lets her know what she missed, what needs work, etc?

    Thanks guys for letting me vent! I work really hard at my job and decided to hire someone to clean just once a month, to give myself a break and do something for me (so I wouldn't have to do the hard labor lol). I am not rich or anything, so it's not like it's an easy expense to have. I guess that is also the frustrating part.
    I get the trust thing. I have never hired a cleaner person (thought about it when I was working 12 hours a day, every day a few years ago) because I don't think I could trust someone I didn't know to be in my house while I wasn't there, so I understand not wanting to start that again.

    Trump and the basket thing aside, if you wanted to keep her, could you tell her that you only want her to come do the cleaning?

  14. #10114
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raisedbywolves View Post
    I get the trust thing. I have never hired a cleaner person (thought about it when I was working 12 hours a day, every day a few years ago) because I don't think I could trust someone I didn't know to be in my house while I wasn't there, so I understand not wanting to start that again.

    Trump and the basket thing aside, if you wanted to keep her, could you tell her that you only want her to come do the cleaning?
    I could but I know it won't go over well. She was seriously complaining about other clients that brought it up. I guess I just don't want conflict so I tend to shut my mouth. I don't know....when she texts me, probably by Monday, asking if she needs me to come clean, I will tell her I won't need her this month. Maybe that will light a fire in her ass, I'm sure she needs the money as this is her only job. We will see come February.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  15. #10115
    Moderator puzzld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    I could but I know it won't go over well. She was seriously complaining about other clients that brought it up. I guess I just don't want conflict so I tend to shut my mouth. I don't know....when she texts me, probably by Monday, asking if she needs me to come clean, I will tell her I won't need her this month. Maybe that will light a fire in her ass, I'm sure she needs the money as this is her only job. We will see come February.
    That's not going to do any good... If you want to keep her, tell her kindly, that her daughter need supervision, mention the foot prints, and whatever issues. You can compliment her for her (former) good work and mention the new problems. If that doesn't solve the problem then let her go.

    If you don't want to keep her, just let her go. You can be upfront, or you can soften things by "I just have to trim expenses. Everything costs so much these days"

    I'd try to get past the gift basket thing it's so easy to have a joke fall flat or whatever. It's not a good idea to be friends with coworkers, and certainly not employees (I keep making that mistake) I can't complain about them and see every complaint they have about me. Bad juju.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    lol at Nestle being some vicious smiter, she's the nicest person on this site besides probably puzzld. Or at least the last person to resort to smiting.
    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    Why on earth would I smite you when I can ban you?

  16. #10116
    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    The basket thing would hurt my feelings too-how rude could a person be?

    Blaming your daughter for things you didn't do is messed up. If she hasn't messed up before now, tell her you would rather her not bring her daughter from now on.

    I understand being too nice and non confrontational, and sometimes people take advantage of that. Just be honest with her.

    I agree with Puzzlds advice.

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  17. #10117
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    Yeah, I agree with Puzz. I would be pissed about the basket and Trump comments, but after I calmed down I would probably decide whether it's worth it to make the effort to keep her and fix the situation. If you want to keep her, you're going to have to have a hard conversation. If she doesn't take it well, then you'll know that it's probably just best to tell her that you don't need her to clean in the future. If she is willing to work with you and do what you want, then you can probably move forward from there.

    Did you like her work before she brought her daughter?

  18. #10118
    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    Thanks guys! I haven't had the nerve to actually fire her yet (I'm too nice and don't know how to say it, plus I don't know of anyone else - it's hard to find someone, a complete stranger, to trust in your home). The only reason I have kept her this long is 1. she's cheap, only cost me $100 so the not-so-great work I tell myself "you get what you pay for". 2. she's an old friend of my sister-in-law so I trusted her in my home more than I would a random person. I think of everything, I was more hurt about the dig at my basket (small, I know, but it really hurt my feelings).

    Her daughter is 18 or 19, I think? So no, not a child. But she just started teaching her daughter and I feel like she should be going over what her daughter does. I mean, simple things that I don't understand. I come home and there are shoe prints all over my living room floor, whoever mopped stepped ALL over it when it was wet. So I end up having to do it again...even I know not to do that, I just don't understand. This stuff didn't happen in the beginning so either she is getting complacent or it's her daughter, who is still learning. I have no issues that her daughter is helping (though she has posted on FB that some clients complain about it, kinda starting to see why) but it's like, maybe check over what she does? How else will her daughter learn unless she lets her know what she missed, what needs work, etc?

    Thanks guys for letting me vent! I work really hard at my job and decided to hire someone to clean just once a month, to give myself a break and do something for me (so I wouldn't have to do the hard labor lol). I am not rich or anything, so it's not like it's an easy expense to have. I guess that is also the frustrating part.
    1. I'd rather spend the $100 on something better instead of shoddy service. Would you pay a hairstylist $100 and expect to walk out with your hair uneven?! That's your money that you worked hard for and you have to clean up behind her?! NO! That's not okay! Find a cleaning company that's licensed and insured.
    2. Don't feel any sense of obligation to this woman, because she's friends with your sil. Does your sil use her to clean her house?
    My family has gotten screwed many times, because of hiring someone that was a friend of a friend or a recommendation.
    Let's see... husband's lawyer took forever to file motions and meet with my husband about his court case. The lawyer was recommended by my husband's dad. My husband's dead dad as you know is a piece of poop.
    My mother hired a contractor based on my (now former) friend's mother's word that this guy was good. He was supposed to be renovating the entire kitchen. He left with less than half the work done and my parents had to take him to court. They only got half the money back that they paid him.
    So what I'm saying is do your own research and don't trust other people's word.
    All the stuff you listed is valid reasons to fire her. I know you're trying to be nice, but this woman will never succeed the way that she's handling her business. I'm assuming cleaning houses is her business. Letting her walk all over you isn't helping you or her. She's not going to be successful, because she's not going to learn from her mistakes if you and others keep letting her do shoddy work. If enough people fire her, maybe, she'll get her ass out of her head and figure out what she's doing wrong instead of blaming others (hopefully).
    If you like, I'll fire her for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't have a thousand dollars hanging around to buy a fart in a jar lol.

  19. #10119
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Thanks for the advice everyone!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  20. #10120
    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by puzzld View Post
    It's not a good idea to be friends with coworkers, and certainly not employees (I keep making that mistake) I can't complain about them and see every complaint they have about me. Bad juju.
    This. I posted a complaint on my Facebook (that wasn't about my workplace) and my co-worker told my boss.
    I was let go not long after. Never be friends with snakes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't have a thousand dollars hanging around to buy a fart in a jar lol.

  21. #10121
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    This. I posted a complaint on my Facebook (that wasn't about my workplace) and my co-worker told my boss.
    I was let go not long after. Never be friends with snakes.
    It was awkward cuz she friend requested me, and I felt weird if I denied it...


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  22. #10122
    Cousin Greg Angiebla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    It was awkward cuz she friend requested me, and I felt weird if I denied it...
    Yeah I would have accepted it too.

    How long has she been cleaning for you?

    "The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man" -Charles Darwin

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Chelsea, if you are a ghost and reading mds, I command you to walk into the light.

  23. #10123
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    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    If you like, I'll fire her for you.
    So it's settled, CC will take care of the firing for you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nic B View Post
    It was awkward cuz she friend requested me, and I felt weird if I denied it...
    When I am in a situation like that I will accept the friend request and then shortly afterwards unfriend them. You can also put them in groups where you don't see their stuff and they don't see your posts.

  24. #10124
    Scoopski Potatoes Nic B's Avatar
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    Haha I missed that part where CC said that

    Ang - she has been cleaning for me for 2 years now.


    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses View Post
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??
    Quote Originally Posted by curiouscat View Post
    Happy Birthday! I hid a dead body in your backyard to celebrate. Good luck finding it under the cement. You can only use a stick to look for it.

  25. #10125
    Senior Member curiouscat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston Babe 73 View Post
    I don't have a thousand dollars hanging around to buy a fart in a jar lol.

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