Not a doubt in my mind your Uncle is visiting your Mom, especially since she believes so strongly in it, making it a logical way for him to contact her. I imagine she's comforted in knowing her brother will escort her to the other side. They must have been very close.
When my father was on hospice, the nurse told us we shouldn't be alarmed if Dad began to "hallucinate" and believe he sees relatives who have died, and then she went on to explain the physiology of hallucinations. As she droned on, the thought occurred to me that Samaritan Hospice doesn't believe in spirits. Interesting.
You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...
Yes. I'm a skeptic but I'll keep my doubts to myself.
He was her big brother and really the one of all the family that would throw his home open for family reunions, so yeah they were close, and then with him dying during this pandemic she didn't get to say goodbye or go to his funeral so that was hard for her.
You are talking to a woman who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe.
...Collector of Chairs. Reader of Books. Hater of Nutmeg...
I want to hear the gossip on why Nic is firing her cleaning lady.
There are quite a few reasons, mostly she just hasn't been doing a good job lately. I think it's because she started having her daughter help her. I think she has her daughter do the things she doesn't want to deal with. The last time she cleaned and I got home, my shower was straight up not cleaned. Now, I hate to complain and the last year she misses things, I just do it myself. But the fact my shower wasn't even touched, AND the one thing I asked her to do (clean under the microwave because we got ants in that area) she straight up didn't do either....I finally said something. Instead of her apologizing she tried to blame the shower on her daughter. THEN said it was my fault because we had to re-caulk it before she could clean it. Okay....so a few reasons. Why didn't she say anything to me then? Why did I have to notice and say something?
That was also right before Christmas and I had paid her extra money on top of what I usually do since it was the holidays. I also made her this nice basket and filled it with lots of nice chocolates and I also put in a ton of Reeses cause that is her favorite. I couldn't find any of the half pounds cups I got her the previous year so I got the Reeses in the tree shapes.
Now here's the real punch in the gut. While she was supposed to be cleaning my house, she posted on facebook a "survey" for people, asking "would you rather get half pound cups or the Reeses Christmas trees?" When people said the half pound cups, she commented :yes! Thank you!" It was SO rude. How ungrateful. I spent almost $100 on that basket and I made it myself, I didn't just buy one that already came filled.
Oh, and she is a trump supporter (not a reason to fire her but makes it easier).
I would have fired for any one of those things (including the Trump supporter thing because if someone still supports him at this point I am not sure you want that type of person running around unsupervised in your home with access to your stuff. They obviously don't make good decisions). I would have responded to the FB poll thing and said "bring the basket back and I will trade out the trees for half pound cups" and then got it and kept it and fired her. I'm not usually an ass, but when people act like this towards good people it really pushes my buttons.
1. Communication is key! Hey I couldn't get x done because whatever.
2. Are we talking a child tho? or an adult daughter? My helpers often bring helpers of their own when the situation demands it. The lady who was doing yard work for us a couple years ago brought her 17 yo daughter to help with weed eating... that kind of thing. Got no problem with that. It was 6 hours of work, the fact that two of them each worked 3 hours? That's fine. But, I hired you. I pay you. Pass whatever share down to you assistant and you're responsible if the job's not done right. When one of mom's aids had stitches and couldn't lift mom she brought her sister to learn the ropes and do the cares that she wasn't able to do. That's a little different because both of them worked a full shift, but I was grateful not to be left in a lurch, so I paid double. (ouch) but getting emergency coverage would be even more, so...
But yeah, bring your kid to make more work? That's not fine.
3. I'd rather have the big cups than the trees too! But a gift is a gift and there's a pandemic on. Be grateful it wasn't a handful of minis of some off brand fake chocolate.
4. As for the Tr#mp supporter thing. I wouldn't fire someone who had a Tr#mp bumper sticker, but keep that man's name outta my house.
Thanks guys! I haven't had the nerve to actually fire her yet (I'm too nice and don't know how to say it, plus I don't know of anyone else - it's hard to find someone, a complete stranger, to trust in your home). The only reason I have kept her this long is 1. she's cheap, only cost me $100 so the not-so-great work I tell myself "you get what you pay for". 2. she's an old friend of my sister-in-law so I trusted her in my home more than I would a random person. I think of everything, I was more hurt about the dig at my basket (small, I know, but it really hurt my feelings).
Her daughter is 18 or 19, I think? So no, not a child. But she just started teaching her daughter and I feel like she should be going over what her daughter does. I mean, simple things that I don't understand. I come home and there are shoe prints all over my living room floor, whoever mopped stepped ALL over it when it was wet. So I end up having to do it again...even I know not to do that, I just don't understand. This stuff didn't happen in the beginning so either she is getting complacent or it's her daughter, who is still learning. I have no issues that her daughter is helping (though she has posted on FB that some clients complain about it, kinda starting to see why) but it's like, maybe check over what she does? How else will her daughter learn unless she lets her know what she missed, what needs work, etc?
Thanks guys for letting me vent! I work really hard at my job and decided to hire someone to clean just once a month, to give myself a break and do something for me (so I wouldn't have to do the hard labor lol). I am not rich or anything, so it's not like it's an easy expense to have. I guess that is also the frustrating part.
I get the trust thing. I have never hired a cleaner person (thought about it when I was working 12 hours a day, every day a few years ago) because I don't think I could trust someone I didn't know to be in my house while I wasn't there, so I understand not wanting to start that again.
Trump and the basket thing aside, if you wanted to keep her, could you tell her that you only want her to come do the cleaning?
I could but I know it won't go over well. She was seriously complaining about other clients that brought it up. I guess I just don't want conflict so I tend to shut my mouth. I don't know....when she texts me, probably by Monday, asking if she needs me to come clean, I will tell her I won't need her this month. Maybe that will light a fire in her ass, I'm sure she needs the money as this is her only job. We will see come February.
That's not going to do any good... If you want to keep her, tell her kindly, that her daughter need supervision, mention the foot prints, and whatever issues. You can compliment her for her (former) good work and mention the new problems. If that doesn't solve the problem then let her go.
If you don't want to keep her, just let her go. You can be upfront, or you can soften things by "I just have to trim expenses. Everything costs so much these days"
I'd try to get past the gift basket thing it's so easy to have a joke fall flat or whatever. It's not a good idea to be friends with coworkers, and certainly not employees (I keep making that mistake) I can't complain about them and see every complaint they have about me. Bad juju.
The basket thing would hurt my feelings too-how rude could a person be?
Blaming your daughter for things you didn't do is messed up. If she hasn't messed up before now, tell her you would rather her not bring her daughter from now on.
I understand being too nice and non confrontational, and sometimes people take advantage of that. Just be honest with her.
I agree with Puzzlds advice.
Yeah, I agree with Puzz. I would be pissed about the basket and Trump comments, but after I calmed down I would probably decide whether it's worth it to make the effort to keep her and fix the situation. If you want to keep her, you're going to have to have a hard conversation. If she doesn't take it well, then you'll know that it's probably just best to tell her that you don't need her to clean in the future. If she is willing to work with you and do what you want, then you can probably move forward from there.
Did you like her work before she brought her daughter?
1. I'd rather spend the $100 on something better instead of shoddy service. Would you pay a hairstylist $100 and expect to walk out with your hair uneven?! That's your money that you worked hard for and you have to clean up behind her?! NO! That's not okay! Find a cleaning company that's licensed and insured.
2. Don't feel any sense of obligation to this woman, because she's friends with your sil. Does your sil use her to clean her house?
My family has gotten screwed many times, because of hiring someone that was a friend of a friend or a recommendation.
Let's see... husband's lawyer took forever to file motions and meet with my husband about his court case. The lawyer was recommended by my husband's dad. My husband's dead dad as you know is a piece of poop.
My mother hired a contractor based on my (now former) friend's mother's word that this guy was good. He was supposed to be renovating the entire kitchen. He left with less than half the work done and my parents had to take him to court. They only got half the money back that they paid him.
So what I'm saying is do your own research and don't trust other people's word.
All the stuff you listed is valid reasons to fire her. I know you're trying to be nice, but this woman will never succeed the way that she's handling her business. I'm assuming cleaning houses is her business. Letting her walk all over you isn't helping you or her. She's not going to be successful, because she's not going to learn from her mistakes if you and others keep letting her do shoddy work. If enough people fire her, maybe, she'll get her ass out of her head and figure out what she's doing wrong instead of blaming others (hopefully).
If you like, I'll fire her for you.
So it's settled, CC will take care of the firing for you!
When I am in a situation like that I will accept the friend request and then shortly afterwards unfriend them. You can also put them in groups where you don't see their stuff and they don't see your posts.
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