Page 1 of 10 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 262

Thread: OKStupid: the best (worst) online dating profiles and stories.

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    65,362
    Rep Power
    21474908

    OKStupid: the best (worst) online dating profiles and stories.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Langu...rofile_similar

    NOT TO BE TOO SPECIFIC:

    You should message me if
    STATED AS STRAIGHT-FORWARDLY AS POSSIBLE, THIS IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR IN A LIFE PARTNER:

    * A woman who is not lonely and looking for me to fill an emptiness in her life, but rather someone who lives a very full, rich life with many interesting people around her, and who wants to find the right person to share that life with romantically.
    * A woman with short fingernails who doesn't mind using her hands or getting her hands dirty. Short fingernails painted in funky colors is even better.
    * A woman who prefers neighborhood shops, flea markets and thrift stores to 5th Avenue fashion stores or or shopping malls.
    * A woman who does not care about name brands and would rather own and wear or use attractive, practical, well made items, saving the money that might have been spent on expensive fashion statements and instead using that money to increase the quality of her life, NOT THE QUANTITY.
    * A woman who would rather backpack or stay in youth hostels or cheap B&B's when traveling in a foreign country, spending the money on cultural experiences instead of luxury hotel accommodations or first class airfare.
    * A woman who does not freak out at the sight of a bug or a mouse/rat.
    * A woman who does not own more than 10 pairs of shoes.
    * A woman who does not feel the need to prove to everyone around her how pretty or special she is. If you are cute and smart on the one hand, and yet on the other hand you truly don't give a fuck about your "image" in the eyes of your peers, you might be my dream woman.
    * A woman who is not afraid to make a fool out of herself in public if the situation arises or is appropriate.
    * A woman who has a nosering or who lives her life like she has one.
    * A woman who laughs a lot every day.
    * A woman who thinks I am the cat's meow. I am, after all -- wink, wink; nudge, nudge...

  2. #2
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    How does one live their life like they have a nose ring? I had one, and now I don't...I'm not sure what I do differently now.

  3. #3
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    31,088
    Rep Power
    21474875
    Quote Originally Posted by nerysinci View Post
    How does one live their life like they have a nose ring? I had one, and now I don't...I'm not sure what I do differently now.
    Haha I was just pondering that. I think that was my favorite one.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  4. #4
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    65,362
    Rep Power
    21474908
    The best part of these are the stupid fucking names people come up with. EUROATHEART. TANTRICGURUNYC.

  5. #5
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    For the record, there are amazing blogs about the weirdos on OKC. I've been looking at the first two for a few weeks

    http://gothsonokcupid.tumblr.com/
    http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/okcenemies
    http://okcupidkillme.tumblr.com/
    http://thisisnotokcupid.tumblr.com/
    http://fuckyeahweirdokcupid.tumblr.com/

  6. #6
    Senior Member whackjob's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    3,960
    Rep Power
    21474847
    this almost makes me miss the days of online dating. almost.

  7. #7
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    I'M GOING OUT WITH JAMIE TONIGHT AND HE SAID HE DOESN'T WANT TO DRINK. He's going to be around me, sober. No alcohol to cloud his view or judgment. I'm scared.

    Recap: Guy from OKC I went out with a few weeks ago and am mildly obsessed with.

  8. #8
    Balls okac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    6,753
    Rep Power
    6371860
    Quote Originally Posted by nerysinci View Post
    I WANNA LOOSE CHERRY, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

    that was all I was going to say in the other thread...

    Someone help her loosen her damn cherry!
    I don't sell crack, I'm a prostitute.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Cap-n Meow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    27,916
    Rep Power
    21054116
    Quote Originally Posted by okac View Post
    that was all I was going to say in the other thread...

    Someone help her loosen her damn cherry!
    Yikes! I wonder what this person would look like given the Extreme Makeover Weightloss edition.

  10. #10
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Okay so he's working now and said he'll text me later, and asked me to "have a think" (squeeee Britishy) about what I want to do. I HAVE NO IDEA. DRINK?!!?

    I don't know anything to do around here except old man bars that I go to with Ang. He lives up by her and there's way more to do there, so I'll probably go to his area. I HATE PICKING.

    Ang, if you see this, do you want to try for coffee/non-hipsterish brunch again tomorrow?

  11. #11
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Queens NYC
    Posts
    16,280
    Rep Power
    21474857
    Quote Originally Posted by nerysinci View Post
    Okay so he's working now and said he'll text me later, and asked me to "have a think" (squeeee Britishy) about what I want to do. I HAVE NO IDEA. DRINK?!!?

    I don't know anything to do around here except old man bars that I go to with Ang. He lives up by her and there's way more to do there, so I'll probably go to his area. I HATE PICKING.

    Ang, if you see this, do you want to try for coffee/non-hipsterish brunch again tomorrow?
    Yes.

    Also, are you guys going out to eat? try this place:
    http://sugarfreak.com

    or go play pool or something.

  12. #12
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Yes.

    Also, are you guys going out to eat? try this place:
    http://sugarfreak.com

    or go play pool or something.
    Ommonia? I don't know why I've got tunnel vision on that place.

    And thanks lovey

  13. #13
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Queens NYC
    Posts
    16,280
    Rep Power
    21474857
    Quote Originally Posted by nerysinci View Post
    Ommonia? I don't know why I've got tunnel vision on that place.

    And thanks lovey
    Because of the crepes. Sure we can go there.

  14. #14
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Because of the crepes. Sure we can go there.
    Awesome.

    Oh, and with the prevalence of hipsters, most of them have ironic large beards, meaning I have no idea what they actually look like. I love beards, I really do. Usually the couple day-scruff, but a nice cleanly trimmed beard can be sexy as fuck. However - I was peeking at this dude on OKC and he updated a non-beard pic THIS DUDE HAD NO CHIN

  15. #15
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DSM
    Posts
    26,144
    Rep Power
    21474870
    this is everything i missed about having my own dating profile. thank you for delivering the LULZ mds.

  16. #16
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Make a fake one and enjoy!

  17. #17
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DSM
    Posts
    26,144
    Rep Power
    21474870
    nah, i'll just stalk profiles you guys post. too much school work.

  18. #18
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Quote Originally Posted by emmieslost View Post
    nah, i'll just stalk profiles you guys post. too much school work.
    Word. I get couples messaging me all the time, which is fine, I don't care how other people live their lives. But why oh why are almost none of these couples remotely attractive?

  19. #19
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Another issue I have is that I live really close to Williamsburg, Bklyn aka douche-hipster capital of the world and I border its ever-growing douchey metro area. If 60% of my matches are decent-looking, I guarantee you that 90% of those are hipsters and they live in Williamsburg, Bushwick, or Greenpoint.
    Last edited by nerysinci; 09-25-2012 at 01:12 PM. Reason: it's vs its doiiiii

  20. #20
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Well, this guy lives in my town.



    Oh, and bringing the best Juggalo over from the other thread: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/jugga...e66?cf=regular

  21. #21
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    This weirdo's approach on getting me to talk to him. After he fucking googled my image, I didn't answer. Then, a couple days later, he messaged to tell me that he changed his answers and now our match % is higher...um, he can see my answers, so he could have just changed them to match mine.



    Couple days later


  22. #22
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Queens NYC
    Posts
    16,280
    Rep Power
    21474857
    Your look and career path don't line up? I'd be like fuck youuuu guy.

  23. #23
    Throbbing Member nerysinci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Middle East
    Posts
    18,439
    Rep Power
    5611446
    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Your look and career path don't line up? I'd be like fuck youuuu guy.
    Yeah I was actually pretty offended. I've been choosing to just ignore the weirdos, rather than entertain them, but I might start doing that for the lulz.

  24. #24
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Queens!
    Posts
    102,846
    Rep Power
    21474946
    I wish I could play. Chicks aren't weirdos. Assholes sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  25. #25
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Queens!
    Posts
    102,846
    Rep Power
    21474946
    Just realized, I have a female account. She has over 400 messages!
    Off to look....
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •