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Thread: Fun Time Breastfeeding Pic on Time Magazine Stirs Debate

  1. #126
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Additionally, the one thing I'll say about everyone being all 'oh, this a decision between the man and the woman' is that I'd like to see your faces if the man was like WOMAN THE BIBLE DONE COMPEL YOU DO BREAST FEED I DON'T CARE HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS or if the man was like 'YOU AIN'T SHARING MY TITTIES WITH NOBODY, GONNA MAKE 'EM ALL UGLY. I CONDEMN IT!'

    You might 'consult' with your husband but it's more like 'hey, I am going to do this. Smile and nod.'

  2. #127
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Additionally, the one thing I'll say about everyone being all 'oh, this a decision between the man and the woman' is that I'd like to see your faces if the man was like WOMAN THE BIBLE DONE COMPEL YOU DO BREAST FEED I DON'T CARE HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS or if the man was like 'YOU AIN'T SHARING MY TITTIES WITH NOBODY, GONNA MAKE 'EM ALL UGLY. I CONDEMN IT!'

    You might 'consult' with your husband but it's more like 'hey, I am going to do this. Smile and nod.'
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  3. #128
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Additionally, the one thing I'll say about everyone being all 'oh, this a decision between the man and the woman' is that I'd like to see your faces if the man was like WOMAN THE BIBLE DONE COMPEL YOU DO BREAST FEED I DON'T CARE HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT IS or if the man was like 'YOU AIN'T SHARING MY TITTIES WITH NOBODY, GONNA MAKE 'EM ALL UGLY. I CONDEMN IT!'

    You might 'consult' with your husband but it's more like 'hey, I am going to do this. Smile and nod.'
    I would say there are much more issues in your marriage than whether or not to breastfeed if that is their response. Considering I am marrying a very intelligent man that would form an opinion based on what's best for our family, I would do more than say, "This is what I'm doing. Accept it."
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  4. #129
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    I fail to see how anything a woman is doing with her body is going to be swayed by male input for the most part. If you consent to doing something against your better judgement/comfort zone to please the guy, you're under his thumb, and if you don't, vice versa. There are just certain things that I don't think really end up being a 'mutual discussion' between people. Breast feeding is one of those topics. Maybe the age one breast feeds until, but not the initial decision.

  5. #130
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    I would say there are much more issues in your marriage than whether or not to breastfeed if that is their response. Considering I am marrying a very intelligent man that would form an opinion based on what's best for our family, I would do more than say, "This is what I'm doing. Accept it."
    I thought he was a Republican?



    And seriously, I'm not sure how that side convo started, but publicly breastfeeding your child > publicly beating your child, no?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  6. #131
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
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    Don and I have had this discussion, and he's just like "your boobs, you decide", because really, if I didn't want to breast feed, no matter how much he wanted me to, it ain't gonna happen, and vice versa.

  7. #132
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    I thought he was a Republican?



    And seriously, I'm not sure how that side convo started, but publicly breastfeeding your child > publicly beating your child, no?
    Fo sho.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  8. #133
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    I thought he was a Republican?



    And seriously, I'm not sure how that side convo started, but publicly breastfeeding your child > publicly beating your child, no?


    I think everyone would rather see breastfeeding over abuse. Unless you're Ron.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  9. #134
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Don and I have had this discussion, and he's just like "your boobs, you decide", because really, if I didn't want to breast feed, no matter how much he wanted me to, it ain't gonna happen, and vice versa.
    Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Ultimately the woman makes the call. The man contributes to the whole 'how long' thing but not the actual act.

  10. #135
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    My response was this. I thought it was asinine.
    And who cares how long your husband thinks mothers should breast feed? His opinion doesn't count. The only one that matters is the one of the mother who is breast feeding.
    ETA: So basically you guys were agreeing with me. I didn't say anything about if to breastfeed, although I do think that should be a discussion, but how long.
    Last edited by TheFavoriteDaughter; 05-14-2012 at 10:08 AM.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  11. #136
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    I thought he was a Republican?


    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post


    I think everyone would rather see breastfeeding over abuse. Unless you're Ron.


    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Ultimately the woman makes the call. The man contributes to the whole 'how long' thing but not the actual act.
    What kinda guy is like "you're gonna breastfeed or there will be hell to pay!!"?

    I just imagine the types of moms on those mommy forums who say they like a politician cause they're pro-life (and no other reason) but then say how they don't pay attention to politics cause that's man stuff for their husbands to do. Those doormats let them make these kinds of decisions I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  12. #137
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post






    What kinda guy is like "you're gonna breastfeed or there will be hell to pay!!"?

    I just imagine the types of moms on those mommy forums who say they like a politician cause they're pro-life (and no other reason) but then say how they don't pay attention to politics cause that's man stuff for their husbands to do. Those doormats let them make these kinds of decisions I guess.
    Oh, guys like the husband of the woman who drowned her five kids he kept forcing her to have probably do shit like that.

  13. #138
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Oh, guys like the husband of the woman who drowned her five kids he kept forcing her to have probably do shit like that.


    ETA: Oh, Andrea Yates. I thought you meant the husband drowned them, and I had never heard that one.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  14. #139
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post


    I think everyone would rather see breastfeeding over abuse. Unless you're Ron.


    Maybe I misunderstood the conversation.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  15. #140
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Abuse is a relative term!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  16. #141
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    Abuse is a relative term!
    "whooping a child's ass"
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  17. #142
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post


    Maybe I misunderstood the conversation.
    Oh I'll have to go back and read. Maybe everybody seemed for it. I'm all about putting the fear of god into children without hitting.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  18. #143
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    I was told yesterday that it was my 'wording' that made me sound abusive, this was from Okac that has been to my home a ton of times and seen me interact with my kids. She's pretty outspoken so if I were 'abusive' to them, she would have most certainly said something because she doesnt agree with abuse. I don't abuse my kids. When I say 'whoop their ass', that doesnt mean that I am taking a belt to my kids, I have never done that ever. I have 'swatted' my kids when they werent behaving but never once have I ever made them fear my hand or my presence.

    When I say 'pop' them on the mouth, my mom used to do that to me. She would do that to me when I was mouthy with her which was rare, we had a very good and open relationship when I was younger. I say 'pop' them on the mouth, but I don't backhand them. Backhanding sounds so bad and I associate that word with a really bad image in my head that IS abusive.

    As far as the breastfeeding and husbands being involved, I wanted to say that I was 18 when I had Bodhi. I had such a hard time with nursing, it was very stressful. Bodhi's dad Dustin and I went to visit Dustins dad and step mom like a week after he was born and while we were there, Dustin's step-mom really made things worse for me. We came to visit and while we were there this woman showed up. Come to find out, his step mom had asked a lactation nurse to come over and 'teach' me to nurse. They had me go in this back bedroom and really put me on the spot. They both kept telling me how it was best for me to BF and I should do it. I was really upset and they made me feel uncomfortable by 'helping' me juggle my breasts and my kid around. I was mortified. Dustin and I were both young so of course he said nothing. Ruined it for me.
    With Noah, I wasnt with his dad so I didnt have any conversations with him about nursing.
    With Dallas, Jammie and I were married and he was soooo supportive and had told me that he thought it would be awesome if I could breast feed but he wanted whatever was best for me and Dallas. He cheered me on when I tried and he didnt make me feel bad when it just wouldnt work. I felt no pressure and he was supportive and I liked that he wanted to be a part of that decision, I mean dallas is his kid so he does have a right to say something.

  19. #144
    Senior Member Natasha_XO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    That's why I said if I decide to do one or the other. I don't have definitive opinions about how I will parent and I don't think it came off that way at all. For all anyone knows, L might think the child needs to be in the bed from day one until they're ready to leave. The only thing he has said is that he wants me to breastfeed. Then he went and told his fucking mother while she was drunk that I might not. She cried, cried, about how I wouldn't be giving her future grandchildren everything they deserve. How is that fair? Yeah, you've got the Ron's of the world being dicks about breastfeeding. But the the biggest judgmental and vocal assholes are breastfeeding supporters. You may have faced opposition but there is nothing like a breastfeeding mother up on her soapbox.

    Oh, and chin whatever. It's completely up to the mother? Are you kidding me? What a great marriage that must be if one parent is the final word on how children are raised. Real healthy


    Oh, and this is mean, but I don't really care if your child is comfortable or not. They are not my child. I still have the right to not want to look at someone's nipple.
    It's not mean, it's just ignorant. No judgment here.

  20. #145
    Senior Member Natasha_XO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g r ee n ey e s View Post
    I tried finding more info on the different sexes and how they are weaned and I couldn't seem to find much of anything. I went to different Attachment Parenting websites to educate myself better as to what the difference is between girls and boys and why it seems that boys tend to be nursed much longer than girls, and there was nothing. I am sure to a certain extent some kids nurse longer than others just because that is the way it worked out. I was just noticing how many mothers made comments on these websites (and on websites that talked about the Time article) about BF past 3 years and they were all boys.

    I should have prefaced that I don't have issues with breast feeding in general, I am not a parent but I hope to eventually plan to be one day and for me I think it creates a level of dependence that I don't want my child to have.



    I am not saying to smother the baby with a pillow so I don't have to see a breast in public, a light blanket or receiving cloth to give the minimal privacy is not going to stop the baby from nursing. No one is being oppressed because I don't feel comfortable with breasts exposed in a public setting. I am in no way saying starve the baby because breast feeding in public is wrong.. I just really really don't want to see a random woman's breast without warning as I am about to take a bite of my sandwich. I mean, I could not look.. if I had the choice.

    I mean no disrespect Natasha, I know we see things differently on this.
    Totally cool. I get the discomfort, it's just nearly impossible to cover a mobile baby while nursing. It's much easier to wear a tank top and pull your shirt up while nursing, it's very discreet. Blankets and covers just don't work for very long. I was extremely uncomfortable nursing without one at first, but Avi was not having it as a baby.

  21. #146
    Senior Member Natasha_XO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Don and I have had this discussion, and he's just like "your boobs, you decide", because really, if I didn't want to breast feed, no matter how much he wanted me to, it ain't gonna happen, and vice versa.
    Honestly, that's how it should be. I actually would be okay with Adrien mentioning his discomfort with extended breastfeeding because it just isn't the norm in our culture. I would be okay with that discussion. I would not be okay with him being like, my boobies, or YOU MUST BREASTFEED OUR CHILD. Throughout our parenting relationship he's always been like, your body, your choice. It's always the super creepy and controlling husbands that have strong opinions about when their wives should stop or start breastfeeding.

  22. #147
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha_XO View Post
    It's not mean, it's just ignorant. No judgment here.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  23. #148
    Senior Member Natasha_XO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post

  24. #149
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha_XO View Post
    So you're honestly telling me you give a shit about every child?

    Or do you just have sand in your vagina considering the fact that everyone on the planet doesn't care about yours?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  25. #150
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Well, I think it's pretty fucking stupid to think that your 'oh gods I can't stop staring at TEH BOOBIES' should take precedent over feeding a child.

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