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Thread: Fun Time Breastfeeding Pic on Time Magazine Stirs Debate

  1. #26
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    I get what green is saying. It' almost like it's porn because they are using it to be purposely provocative. I do have issue with that.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  2. #27
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
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    I have an issue with people thinking women who breastfeed are only doing it to be controversial. Not saying you think that, TFD. But it really grinds my gears.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  3. #28
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    I have an issue with people thinking women who breastfeed are only doing it to be controversial. Not saying you think that, TFD. But it really grinds my gears.
    I don't. Not necessarily. But I do think some women use it as a soapbox to be controversial. It also goes back to my stance in the past. Not every woman that breastfeeds is a caring, loving mother that also has their child's best interests at heart. I also think this cover is exploitative. Why try to create controversy? Why pit women against each other to battle who is and who isn't a better parent? What's the point?
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  4. #29
    sucks to your ass-mar Nancy Drew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    I don't. Not necessarily. But I do think some women use it as a soapbox to be controversial. It also goes back to my stance in the past. Not every woman that breastfeeds is a caring, loving mother that also has their child's best interests at heart. I also think this cover is exploitative. Why try to create controversy? Why pit women against each other to battle who is and who isn't a better parent? What's the point?
    To sell magazines/be talked about!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    oMG, yeah, no, AMY is in no way superior to Tara. Never.

  5. #30
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy Drew View Post
    To sell magazines/be talked about!
    Well, I know that! I just don't get why a mother would be ok with being exploited like that.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  6. #31
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    I would guess most women, the majority of women, breast feed because it is recommended and they feel comfortable with it. And it's very natural. Some women are uncomfortable with breast feeding. Some women are unable to breast feed. Some babies reject nipples.

    I would also guess that the women who continue to breast feed when the child should clearly be becoming more independent do so for a multitude of psychological reasons. Partly because it's tied up in some post-feminist identity of being a mother and a woman to society, and part because the woman in that case has attachment issues with her child, a desire to keep them dependent.

  7. #32
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    it amazes me that breastfeeding is such a controversial subject. obvs, i've never breast fed, but i was renting movies one day and the woman helping me--the owner of the shop--was breastfeeding her wee one and the only reason i thought it was strange was because another woman in the shop was photographing us both. they recognized that it made me uncomfortable and explained the woman was actually writing a book on breastfeeding, and in part discussed public breastfeeding.

    that said, i do think its a bit weird if they're using the bath room on their own and still breastfeeding. i agree that the picture is pornographic, only because the viewer's reality is what counts.

  8. #33
    Rational Republican Chauncy's Avatar
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    Gross? Thought this act was beautiful. I mean it's not like the kid is 7. Not even in school yet and of course he needs those nutrients. Why does he need them as a baby but not as a toddler? I mean he is still growing.
    And affirmative action is a very nice term for racial discrimination against better-qualified white people in jobs, employment, promotions and scholarships, and college admittance.

  9. #34
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    I think it's terrible for anyone to put it out there the whole 'are you mom enough' shit. Like Bowie said, not all moms can BF. I think its personally fucking humiliating to a woman when they just gave birth and then someone gives them the side eye because they choose to formula feed. Who cares? If it's my kid and i choose to use a bottle thats my choice.
    Not ony that but BF is fucking hard for a lot of women. It can be painful, it can be completly uncomfortable and hard on a woman. I was so thrilled with my husband because he outright said to me that he hoped that i could nurse our son but if it didnt happen, then it's ok. All he cared about was Dallas being healthy and me being healthy.

    i didnt think the pic was pornographic but i didnt think it was appropriate. meh, maybe i do think it's pornographic, i dont know.
    i think its more fucking weird when i hear about some women that are nursing have orgasms while nursing. WTF?

  10. #35
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    Breastfeeding isn't all fucking rainbows and rose petals. It can be really hard, and fuck anybody who tries to make moms feel like crap for not doing it. I know I've said this before, but when C was an infant, she would literally be nursing 20 hours a day and my nipples were bleeding and blistered, and that kid was going to town on them. That pain was almost as bad as the natural childbirth. The only reason I continued breastfeeding is that I couldn't afford formula and I was too proud to get government assistance.
    She also BF until she was 2 (and a half). She was walking and talking and had teeth... I cut her off when she started asking for "boo". Just too weird for me to deal with.

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  11. #36
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    I was thinking about this last night and I came to a realization.

    After reading comments on multiple articles about this whole thing I realized that these women are doing this with what seems to only be boys. The woman on the cover of time is pictured with her son, and the woman I babysat for was doing this with her son.

    If it was really about better health and a better bonding situation, why do the girls not deserve the same treatment? It seems to me that if it happens more often with boys, there is something else going on there.

    GROSS.

    (Minus you, Cat. I know you said your daughter, but you did stop at 2.. at least that isn't 3-6.)
    Last edited by g r ee n ey e s; 05-11-2012 at 08:29 AM.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  12. #37
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    i know women who breastfed until their children were walking/talking. like i said, if they're old enough to use the bathroom/bathe themselves on their own that's when i think its time to let it go. allow them some independence. its healthy.

  13. #38
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    I just keep picturing my boys at that age and I couldnt imagine nursing them for that long. I do realize the article is meant to totally catch a persons eye and spark up a debate but I think it's the wrong subject to do it with. BF should be a personal bond between a mother and child. There are a shit ton of ways to bond with your child. My hang up is that I can't wrap my mind around a child of that age being put to the boob, it's not something that I commonly see.
    I can only think of one time when Bodhi was 5 and he was in a chidrens cooperative school program. Parents have to volunteer and i happened to be volunteering the same day as this other momma that had i think like 6 or 7 kids. We were in circle time with the kids, we were encouraged to participate and I looked over and the same mom was nursing a child that I believe was about 3 or 4. I remember the other kids just kind of like wtf? I honestly think she could have sat back and nursed her kid in another manner, ya know, like go sit in the rocking chair thats not directly in the circle and do it. The kids were so busy looking at what she was doing because they were curious so they werent paying atteention in the circle time.
    I cant say i thought it was gross, i dont think that but i did think it was odd and out of place.

    Also, thats interesting that Greens mentioned most of what she saw was little boys. I wonder if there is a statistic on it.

  14. #39
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    I work mostly with men, and at the end of the day yesterday, someone brought this up, but he was really hesitant to show me what they were all talking about because he was worried showing me the picture might make me feel harassed, which tells you something right there.

    All of them were like, women who do this are trying to maintain total control of their kids and deny them autonomy. Which is my perspective as well. I feel similarly about women who want co-sleeping to continue nightly. To me, that says you're trying to block intimacy in your marriage, and you're using your kid to validate that.

  15. #40
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    You know, my son just turned two last month and I cannot fathom having that kid on my boob. I hate to say it, but it's because he's a boy and things are just different when you're dealing with different body parts. The last time I took him to the pediatrician for a check up, he asked if I had checked recently to be sure both his testicles were on the outside where they're supposed to be. He suggested that I do it once a month or so because occasionally they get sucked back up in there or something (fuck, I dunno). I honestly can't do it, I make J check that deal when he changes his diaper. I obviously don't see it as a sexual thing, but it skeeves me out to imagine doing that to him. I think I would feel sort of the same way about BF him at this age. I just feel it becomes inappropriate and weird at some point. For ME, I'm not insinuating these women are child molesters because they're extended BF their sons.

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  16. #41
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    After a certain point, one of my coworkers pointed out, children begin to maintain lifelong memories. And so you really, really don't want your kid to have a lifelong memory of sucking mom's boobs.

  17. #42
    senior cunt emmieslost's Avatar
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    i guess i didn't realize that boys aren't born with their testicles on the outside? i dated a guy once who had a testicle that didn't 'drop' or whatever. he recently had it removed, actually.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by emmieslost View Post
    i guess i didn't realize that boys aren't born with their testicles on the outside? i dated a guy once who had a testicle that didn't 'drop' or whatever. he recently had it removed, actually.
    I will happily remain in the dark regarding anything involving testicles.

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  19. #44
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    After a certain point, one of my coworkers pointed out, children begin to maintain lifelong memories. And so you really, really don't want your kid to have a lifelong memory of sucking mom's boobs.
    Very good point. My memories start at about 3 and it would make me very uncomfortable to remember that. I also agree with the co-sleeping. I dunno, my grandmother has always said you need to be a wife before you're a mother. And before anyone gets upset, the point she is making is that if you do not have a strong, healthy marriage, it will impact your parenting. Kids can tell when their parents have a strained relationship. She' been married for 55 years so I think it's a pretty valid thing.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  20. #45
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    Very good point. My memories start at about 3 and it would make me very uncomfortable to remember that. I also agree with the co-sleeping. I dunno, my grandmother has always said you need to be a wife before you're a mother. And before anyone gets upset, the point she is making is that if you do not have a strong, healthy marriage, it will impact your parenting. Kids can tell when their parents have a strained relationship. She' been married for 55 years so I think it's a pretty valid thing.
    My grandma waited ten years as a married woman before she had kids and she has always said it was the wisest decision she ever made.

  21. #46
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Pajamas View Post
    You know, my son just turned two last month and I cannot fathom having that kid on my boob. I hate to say it, but it's because he's a boy and things are just different when you're dealing with different body parts. The last time I took him to the pediatrician for a check up, he asked if I had checked recently to be sure both his testicles were on the outside where they're supposed to be. He suggested that I do it once a month or so because occasionally they get sucked back up in there or something (fuck, I dunno). I honestly can't do it, I make J check that deal when he changes his diaper. I obviously don't see it as a sexual thing, but it skeeves me out to imagine doing that to him. I think I would feel sort of the same way about BF him at this age. I just feel it becomes inappropriate and weird at some point. For ME, I'm not insinuating these women are child molesters because they're extended BF their sons.
    I think I mentioned t his last time this topic came up, but I was breastfed until I was two (I have no memory of it, for the record). My mom said if it was up to me, I probably would have kept going for a
    while, but she was going to start a new job so she weaned me off (she had to leave me at my aunt's for the weekend because apparently I freaked the fuck out lol ).

    My brother? He nursed for less than a year. I wonder if deep down the reason was along the same lines as what you are saying here.

    Did anyone read the interview with the woman in the cover photo? Her perspective is interesting, especially about her nursing her other son, who was adopted. Also, apparently she herself was breasted until she was 6.

  22. #47
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-b...b_1507550.html

    No. I am not Mom enough.

    Not as TIME magazine seems to define it on their outrageous cover today. The one showing the willowy bombshell of a mother, staring defiantly at the camera, while her 3-year-old son stands on a chair next to her, the better to suckle at her exposed breast.

    I am not Mom enough to take the bait. To accept TIME's deliberate provocation and either get mad at this woman for what I think I know about her from this photo, or to feel inferior, or superior, or defensive, or guilty -- or anything at all, if it means I am comparing myself to other mothers.

    I am not Mom enough to think that the debate over how to feed our youngest children -- an important and nuanced conversation about nutrition, and workplace policy, and government responsibility, and gender relationships -- can be boiled down to a simplistic, unrepresentative, staged photograph.

    The breastfeeding conversation is not titillating. The TIME cover is.

    Breastfeeding is not a macho test of motherhood, with the winner being the one who nurses the longest. In fact there ARE no macho tests of motherhood. Motherhood is -- should be -- a village, where we explore each other's choices, learn from them, respect them, and then go off and make our own.

    Women who breastfeed their children for three years are outliers, but they are not spectacles, and we shouldn't hold them up as either Madonnas or freaks. Women who do not breastfeed are not monsters, and we should not condemn them, or really have any opinion about their decision at all.

    TIME wanted attention. They have gotten it. And the shame of it is that the article accompanying the photo and headline has moments of nuanced exploration of the global social questions raised by the attachment theory of parenting. "The arguments for and against," author Kate Pickett writes, "mirror questions about family and work that still divide America five decades after the advent of modern feminism, when nearly half the U.S. workforce is made up of women."

    So, let's talk about that. But let's not wrap it in the tired trope of my-way-is-better-than-yours and parenting-means-choosing-a-camp and cool-we-can-put-a-breast-on-our-cover-if-we-say-it's-a-social-schism.

    I refuse to see either a heroine or an extremist in TIME's cover photo. I won't condemn her or praise her. I will not stoop to the level of pretending that we are so unidimensional that we can be divided by a lifestyle choice.

    I am not Mom enough.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  23. #48
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    I think I mentioned t his last time this topic came up, but I was breastfed until I was two (I have no memory of it, for the record). My mom said if it was up to me, I probably would have kept going for a
    while, but she was going to start a new job so she weaned me off (she had to leave me at my aunt's for the weekend because apparently I freaked the fuck out lol ).

    My brother? He nursed for less than a year. I wonder if deep down the reason was along the same lines as what you are saying here.

    Did anyone read the interview with the woman in the cover photo? Her perspective is interesting, especially about her nursing her other son, who was adopted. Also, apparently she herself was breasted until she was 6.


    I just can't. And if I saw it in person, I would have the most disgusted look on my face. Words wouldn't be necessary.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  24. #49
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g r ee n ey e s View Post


    I just can't. And if I saw it in person, I would have the most disgusted look on my face. Words wouldn't be necessary.

    We were at L's company picnic a couple of weeks ago. There was a woman breastfeeding a child that was about 2 without any type of cover. She was very large breasted so you could see..... a lot. Especially because the child kept pulling away. L said, "If you ever do that without covering up, I won't sit by you." Which isn't very nice but not everyone wants to see a distended nipple when they're eating.

    Oh, and it was chilly and windy out. So she could very well have covered the child up without them burning up.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  25. #50
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    We were at L's company picnic a couple of weeks ago. There was a woman breastfeeding a child that was about 2 without any type of cover. She was very large breasted so you could see..... a lot. Especially because the child kept pulling away. L said, "If you ever do that without covering up, I won't sit by you." Which isn't very nice but not everyone wants to see a distended nipple when they're eating.

    Oh, and it was chilly and windy out. So she could very well have covered the child up without them burning up.
    I agree with this. I don't have an issue with breast feeding in public.. unless you are flashing everyone whilst doing it. I don't care if you are a mother, feminist, attachment parent or what. I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE'S BEWBS IN PUBLIC. It just rude, and covering yourself with a blanket is so easy.

    Unless, of course, I am paying for it.. then I want to see bewbs in public all day long. But no bebe's sucking on them.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

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