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Thread: Fun Time Breastfeeding Pic on Time Magazine Stirs Debate

  1. #351
    Moderator nestlequikie's Avatar
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    I had parents like that at the daycare center when I was a director. Ugh.
    I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to. - Donnie Darko

  2. #352
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nestlequikie View Post
    I had parents like that at the daycare center when I was a director. Ugh.
    He wanted us to scrape and rinse the diapers in the changing table sink. He seriously didn't understand that that is unsanitary and a licensing violation. He also told us to change his son less so we didn't use disposables. He would only bring four diapers a day. We were supposed to change them every hour and document it. And he would never take them home! We told him to take them every day and he would leave it for the whole week. The classroom would smell like fetid shit.

    I think cloth diapers are awesome for all the reasons Nat said but they are such a pain the ass if you're not home with your kid.
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  3. #353
    Moderator nestlequikie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    He wanted us to scrape and rinse the diapers in the changing table sink. He seriously didn't understand that that is unsanitary and a licensing violation. He also told us to change his son less so we didn't use disposables. He would only bring four diapers a day. We were supposed to change them every hour and document it. And he would never take them home! We told him to take them every day and he would leave it for the whole week. The classroom would smell like fetid shit.
    Blergh. I think I just barfed a little. We had to change diapers every hour and the staffer that did the change had to initial the form.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheFavoriteDaughter View Post
    I think cloth diapers are awesome for all the reasons Nat said but they are such a pain the ass if you're not home with your kid.
    I totally agree. Having 2 babies 13.5 months apart in full-time daycare meant disposables for me on work days. They didn't have the cute covers back then either!!

    I tried breastfeeding G and being in a daycare full of crying kids did not work well with my hormones, boobs and work attire. I kept 'letting down' and had to change clothes 8 times per day - I just couldn't keep it up.

    I breastfed M for 2-3 days and I got a staph infection in my kidney and the meds to treat it were harmful to babies and passed in breastmilk. I dried up before I was cleared to let her breastfeed again. At least she got the colostrum.
    I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to. - Donnie Darko

  4. #354
    Administrator Olivia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natasha_XO View Post
    Honestly? Having more confidence in myself as a mother. I listened to everything people told me when I had Millie, and it's why I failed at breastfeeding her. It still makes me nauseous when I think about my lack of support and I still remember the day that I officially gave up. I wish I had kept going and persevered. I wish I would have never taken one piece of bad advice. With Avi, there were multiple times where I could have given up but I was determined and I knew that if I kept going, it would be fine. My nipples were raw, blistered, and bleeding for about the first 3 weeks, and I just kept on. If I hadn't had Millie first and experienced the pain of giving up, I probably would have given up then as well. But luckily, I knew all of the boobie traps and ignored the ped when he told me to feed him every 3 hours and not on demand. I ignored my mil when she told me to give him bottles at night. As far as cloth, I already had my routine down as a mother, as far as cleaning and laundry went, I knew another load or two of diapers wouldn't kill me. These choices were daunting when I first had Millie.
    As far as cosleeping, I parent as to what each child needed. Millie slept with us for the first month or two, but then happily slept in her mini crib next to us. She slept through the night straight away so she never needed to be parented all night. Avi has always needed a little more, he's very high needs, so I give him what he needs to get through. Cosleeping was an easy adjustment, no regrets.

    As far as everything else, it's the same, same positive discipline, same healthy eating, no spanking, etc...
    Such a good mama

  5. #355
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    oh god! why... am i doing this?

    i'm not a mother. although i hope to someday have the opportunity to take that plunge, i don't believe it will ever happen. i have, however, had ample experience with mothers and babies - my little sis was home-birthed, i watched the whole thing go down. i got to clean those awful cloth diapers and flushed my share down the toilet. my mom was hippie -like, pulled it out whenever and wherever she needed to and i have to admit... it always bothered me a little.

    what direction am i coming from? don't get me wrong! i like boobs. i have some and they have always been huge so from a very young age, they have always been sexualized for me and i got a whole bunch of unwanted attention because of them. as early as i can remember, boobs have always been something to hide, something to keep secret until the circumstances warrant unwrapping. suddenly getting a glimpse of what to me is the unseen territory is jarring. and yes, i probably stare longer than i should and walk away feeling like a jerk.

    it's a given that babies are hungry and should be fed. heaven forbid anyone think i believe new mothers should be inconvenienced when feeding, but in a public setting there are always going to be people who are uncomfortable with it, perhaps people with bigger emotional issues than even i, other parents who aren't yet ready to answer questions about the subject and people who have different beliefs on what is acceptable.

    maybe i am naive, but i feel that there are always places to go to minimize exposure to people who are less comfortable with seeing nekkid tat-tas. i always look for places i can hide everywhere i go (because on top of having boobie issues, i also have a bit of social anxiety and have to find safe places to go in public to remember how to breath...). i've found that in every place, there is always a sanctuary.

    i'd venture to say one could go into the baby/maternity sections in wal-mart to feed so you are around other mothers who are more empathetic. or you can go into a dressing room. at fast food places, your car is not too far away and in a restaurant you can ask the server if there is a closed section you can use in private. restrooms are another option because many of them have a waiting room attached with comfy couch to sit on. and yes, there is also the option of using formula for outings or pumping before hand.

    chances are, mothers do use these options. like i said, i'm not one so i don't know. and the truth is: really, it's not the end of the world or even my day if i do see it. i just wonder if the mothers care at all about how their decision affects others living outside of the 3-foot bubble.

    ok, i'm done for.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  6. #356
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    oh god! why... am i doing this?

    i'm not a mother. although i hope to someday have the opportunity to take that plunge, i don't believe it will ever happen. i have, however, had ample experience with mothers and babies - my little sis was home-birthed, i watched the whole thing go down. i got to clean those awful cloth diapers and flushed my share down the toilet. my mom was hippie -like, pulled it out whenever and wherever she needed to and i have to admit... it always bothered me a little.


    maybe i am naive, but i feel that there are always places to go to minimize exposure to people who are less comfortable with seeing nekkid tat-tas. i always look for places i can hide everywhere i go (because on top of having boobie issues, i also have a bit of social anxiety and have to find safe places to go in public to remember how to breath...). i've found that in every place, there is always a sanctuary.
    But why do that when you can say "fuck everyone and their comfort" and do whatever you want?

    And then have the audacity to say that they have a problem since you're making them uncomfortable.

    The part of your brain that regulates shame and decency gets flushed out with the afterbirth, I swear.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  7. #357
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    Im glad someone else mentioned the whole scraping of the poo out of the cloth diapers. That's what I was referring to as the not so nice part of it all but I wasnt sure how to say it.
    I remember my mom babysitting a little boy, I dont remember who he was, I was young also but I remember her changing the cloth diaper and using the safety pins and stuff but then I also remember her cleaning the icky onein the toilet.

    I am beginning to just say 'to each their own' on the whole BF thing. Im not weirded out when I see it, the act itself does not bother me in any way but Im not used to seeing a 2, 3 or 4 yr old nursing. It's not somehting I have seen in person so would I stare? Probably, If I didnt stare, i would be caught off guard.

    Far be it for anyone, even myself to reallyt judge someone on how they take care of their children. I guess from reading more about it and listening to the woman who was covered on Time, it made it less of an enormous deal. Different to me still, but I really really liked how she wasnt all gung ho and telling people to fuck off for not doing what she does.

  8. #358
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    I think I'd just throw my hands up and shout "Oh, come on!" if I saw it.
    As I stormed away obviously.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  9. #359
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  10. #360
    Sana sana colita de rana beli's Avatar
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    fucking ron
    Quote Originally Posted by Gawna View Post
    Roses are red, violets are blue, seriously where is the fucking ring I gave Julie and ask her mom about the flowers
    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    In all fairness, we have no idea how big this dude's cock was.

  11. #361
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post



    But why do that when you can say "fuck everyone and their comfort" and do whatever you want?
    call me a sucker, but i'm always trying to make sure all parties are 'in a safe place'.

    The part of your brain that regulates shame and decency gets flushed out with the afterbirth, I swear.
    doh!

    Quote Originally Posted by White trash bitchy blonde View Post
    Im glad someone else mentioned the whole scraping of the poo out of the cloth diapers. That's what I was referring to as the not so nice part of it all but I wasnt sure how to say it.
    I remember my mom babysitting a little boy, I dont remember who he was, I was young also but I remember her changing the cloth diaper and using the safety pins and stuff but then I also remember her cleaning the icky onein the toilet.

    I am beginning to just say 'to each their own' on the whole BF thing. Im not weirded out when I see it, the act itself does not bother me in any way but Im not used to seeing a 2, 3 or 4 yr old nursing. It's not somehting I have seen in person so would I stare? Probably, If I didnt stare, i would be caught off guard.

    Far be it for anyone, even myself to reallyt judge someone on how they take care of their children. I guess from reading more about it and listening to the woman who was covered on Time, it made it less of an enormous deal. Different to me still, but I really really liked how she wasnt all gung ho and telling people to fuck off for not doing what she does.
    yeah. baby poop is gross. we ended up with quite a few plumbing mishaps but that's what you get when you have a 10 y/o change the baby...

    i have less of an issue with the attachment parenting than the public breast-feeding. i agree with you... to each their own. i don't even have an issue with that cover either. it's just an editorial picture and provoking title meant to get the buzz going and ultimately it does it's job well. even if people react negatively to it, a good dialogue is created.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  12. #362
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    that seal thing actually happened to me once. true story.
    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  13. #363
    Senior Member morbidT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    Damn! I wanted to beat someone to it but I couldn't find anything. I was looking for the Shreck "come on!"

  14. #364
    Senior Member animosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by songbirdsong View Post
    "Say, you know who could handle this penis? MY MOTHER."

  15. #365
    Senior Member debk589's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash bitchy blonde View Post
    I didnt know if I clarified it right but she delivered the baby and they knew he would have problems but they had no idea just how bad. They asked her at 6 months pregnant if she wanted to term the prgnancy but she couldnt and she felt it was way to far in to do that. i dont blame her, im not sure what i would do.
    he was born and he looked beautiful, all pink and healthy but sadly he wasnt.
    % holes in his heart, his heart was kind of turned sideways, almost backwards in his body and his kidneys didnt work. my cousin went each day agonizing over what to do and finally at 8 weeks he started declining even with the hel of machines. She had to let him go. It was very hard for her im sure.

    She questions herself all the time if she made the right decision to let the pregnancy go to term because she said he was in pain and a lot of it. I think he lived to 8 weeks because he was a fighter but the poor thing was so swollen and you just knew he wasnt going to have a normal or anything close to a normal life.
    She held him for over 2 hours when they turned the machines off. That was the first time she ever got to hold her baby without tubes and wires and machines. I think it was a bittersweet moment. The hospital nurses did a little plaster cast of his hand and it was so sweet. He was still alive when they did it but after he passed is when my cousin got to see the cast and the baby was making a peace sign in the cast. I thought that was llike his little sign that he was sayin 'peace out' to everyone.
    :( This literally made me cry. My baby just turned 8 weeks on Friday, I could not imagine having to go through this. It's when you hear stories like this that makes you step back and say "really, who gives a shit how you parent, as long as your baby is happy and healthy, NOTHING (co-sleeping, breast feeding, etc.) else should matter at all.

  16. #366
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by debk589 View Post
    :( This literally made me cry. My baby just turned 8 weeks on Friday, I could not imagine having to go through this. It's when you hear stories like this that makes you step back and say "really, who gives a shit how you parent, as long as your baby is happy and healthy, NOTHING (co-sleeping, breast feeding, etc.) else should matter at all.
    Seriously.
    Feed your kid - it doesn't matter how
    Change their diaper - it doesn't matter how
    Essentially the job is different for everyone, so unless your kid ends up dead in a suitcase because you starved it to death (just happened in my town), or dead from a blood infection because you were too busy playing WoW to change their diaper (there was an article on here), then fuck it. You're probably doing okay.

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  17. #367
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/ar...ish-wrong.html

    That's just selfish and wrong: How the image of a mother breastfeeding a toddler reignited a health controversy

    By Dr ellie cannon

    Revolting! Just wrong! Surely that?s child abuse!

    These are just a few of the reactions I heard from mothers who had seen the cover of Time magazine last week, featuring an attractive woman breastfeeding a boy who looked almost old enough to attend primary school.

    As an image it was certainly attention-grabbing.

    The picture of Jamie Lynne Grumet and her three-year-old son illustrated an article about Dr Bill Sears, the American parenting guru who believes that if we all lived on a desert island, this is what women would do.

    As a mother of two, I strongly disagree. And judging by the vociferous responses from other women with children, I?m not alone.

    Women who breastfeed their older children argue they are doing nothing wrong, and that each mother should be free to do what is right for their child, whether not to breastfeed at all or continue indefinitely.

    But as a doctor, I must advise there is little benefit and possibly harm to be done by the latter. Nobody would argue against the physical and emotional benefits of breastfeeding a baby.

    The World Health Organisation recommends they are breastfed exclusively until they are six months old, and that breastfeeding continues until the age of two, complemented with other foods.

    Breast milk boosts the immune system and breastfed babies are less likely to suffer from chest and ear infections, eczema and obesity in later life.

    But there is little evidence of any health benefits beyond the age of one. Breastfeeding babies is natural and normal ? but in my opinion, breastfeeding your child up until three or even later is unnecessary.

    Dr Sears is an advocate of something called attachment parenting, which involves parents and children sleeping in the same bed, babies being carried in slings ? even at home ? and mothers breastfeeding until they want to stop, whatever the age of their offspring.

    Supposedly, these behaviours are essential to making mother and child bond properly. According to Dr Sears, proper bonding is supposed to nurture better emotional health and make the child more intelligent, calm, secure, confident, empathic and independent.

    Every cry from an infant is a cry for help and should never be ignored, he says. Dr Sears even claims that allowing a baby to cry for too long can cause them brain damage.

    The attachment parenting crowd argue this is the way parents have been doing things for thousands of years. I?m not an anthropologist, but I do know that we?re living in an era when these things are not the norm.

    Much of Dr Sears? philosophy has become mainstream in the two decades since he published his first book ? papoose-style carriers are a common sight, and of course children should be cuddled as much as they need to be.

    But no health professional would officially recommend co-sleeping, as there are concerns the baby is at increased risk from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

    And breastfeeding until a child goes to school is fulfilling a mother?s needs, not a child?s. It is self-indulgent and possibly narcissistic. Children are at the centre of our world but it doesn?t mean we need to be at the centre of theirs.

    Toddlers develop independence and evolve from the natural stage of separation anxiety to become explorers of the world around them. Parents need to be close by but they don?t need to be attached.

    The worry of many developmental psychologists is that extreme breastfeeding dampens this natural stage of a child?s development and serves only to indulge the mother: it gives her attention and a purpose.

    Children go to nursery aged three, so they need to be able to cope without their parents. This is why we toilet-train them, teach them to feed themselves and encourage them to voice their opinions.

    If Jamie Lynne Grumet advocated keeping her son in nappies or letting him outside only in a buggy, would she be applauded or would people realise she was harming her son?s natural development?

    Children are sexually aware from a young age. They become interested in body parts and what they do. Breastfeeding a child old enough to walk over to his mother and open her shirt creates a confusing message about personal boundaries and our bodies.

    These publicity stunts do nothing for the real issue: that today, fewer women than ever are breastfeeding their babies.

    The latest Department of Health statistics published last December suggest 74.1 per cent of women initiate breastfeeding but at six to eight weeks only 47.1 per cent of infants are still being fed this way.

    Pictures such as this serve only to make the women who breastfeed within the normal boundaries seem as freakish as their ?extreme? sisters.
    Last edited by Ron_NYC; 05-21-2012 at 01:10 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  18. #368
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    I obviously tend to agree with that article.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  19. #369
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    Meh. So some women are running it in the faces of others that they can breast feed and other women are bitter bitches who can't so they throw fucking stones at the ones who can. Pretty sure being an asshole is the ultimate two sides of this fight.

  20. #370
    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    I was under the impression everyone was an asshole with an opinion.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  21. #371
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g r ee n ey e s View Post
    I was under the impression everyone was an asshole with an opinion.
    As I taught my children to say: "Opinions are like butts: everybody has one".
    Oh, and I still breastfeed my 8 year old. MOM OF THE YEAR!

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  22. #372
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Pajamas View Post
    As I taught my children to say: "Opinions are like butts: everybody has one".
    Oh, and I still breastfeed my 8 year old. MOM OF THE YEAR!
    You're kidding.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  23. #373
    Senior Member Cat Pajamas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    You're kidding.
    Uhh, yeah. I do not breastfeed my nearly grown child, that's just gross.

    I have seen the future and I'm fairly relieved to say, it looks nothing like me.

  24. #374
    Senior Member Gimik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animosity View Post
    i just wonder if the mothers care at all about how their decision affects others living outside of the 3-foot bubble.

    ok, i'm done for.
    I just thought I'd put my 2 cents in as a mother breastfeeding her 6 month old (first baby)

    Yes we care. Most mums are super nervous about breastfeeding in public. But you have a screaming baby who is hungry (and when they decide they are hungry, well dammit, they want it NOW) and you are worried about the crying upsetting people, you are worried about breastfeeding them for your own diginity, you are worried about others making nasty comments - so you have a lot going on. It is tough as a mum listening to your baby upset. I was so paranoid that I would take a bottle of expressed milk everywhere with me in case I couldn't find a feeding room because I didn't want the looks and judgement.

    If friends or family are around I feed in front of them. My MIL always asks if I want them to leave the room. When I am out, I plan where the local breastfeeding rooms are in our shopping centres etc. Only once have I done it in full view of the public, and that was down the beach and I was mostly covered.

    I do find it quite disturbing reading reactions to the magazine cover (both here and in other forums), that women were angry that there were being judged for not breastfeeding, but those same women are judging women who choose to breastfeed. Women spend too much time judging each other (especially when it comes to parenting).

    I return to work next week but will continue to pump and breastfeed. Plan to wean when my lil monkey is 1 but that is my personal choice. World Health Organisation recommendation is 2.

    As a first time mum, my main aim is to keep her alive and healthy - anything else is a bonus :-)
    RIP Ben - 15 years is so young to be taken away from us

  25. #375
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cat Pajamas View Post
    Uhh, yeah. I do not breastfeed my nearly grown child, that's just gross.
    You have to make sure nowadays.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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