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Thread: 1,000 Things You Don't Know About Women

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    1,000 Things You Don't Know About Women

    Since this place is 98% women:
    http://www.esquire.com/women/women-i...out-women-0510

    A few of my favorites:

    No. 964: Sometimes we want to be treated like a princess. Sometimes, we want to be treated like a sex object. It's up to you to figure out which of these we want to be at any given moment, because we certainly aren't going to tell you. ?Julianna Mendelsohn, 29, Chicago


    No. 824: Be careful: singing to us can be totally cute. But only if you can actually sing. ?Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville


    No. 989: We appreciate when you keep your condoms within close reach from the bed so we don't spend ten minutes waiting naked while you search the other end of the apartment. ?Sarah Knowles, 29, Brooklyn


    No. 944: We kind of wish we could chest-bump, too. ?Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville


    No. 340: If that piece of clothing does indeed make us look fat, simply say, "It's nice, but you don't look comfortable in it." Most of the time, it's true. ?Nicole Lee, 31, San Francisco


    No. 726: We will be jealous of any picture of you and another girl on Facebook. It doesn't matter who she is. ?Mallory Farmer, 23, Boston


    No. 837: Shoes always fit. Hence our perpetually full closets. ?Sydney Hayes, 19, San Diego


    No. 546: These days, with Facebook, chances are we know your favorite band well before our first drink with you. Something to keep in mind. ?Robin Carol, 21, Eugene, Oregon


    No. 673: Even we know this: The craziest girls are the ones who seem the most normal at first. ?Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California

    No. 816: Seventy-five percent of the sounds we make during sex are purely for you. That's how much we care. ?Rose Farnsworth, 19, Nashville

    No. 433: We think the clean-laundry smell of you in your undershirt is a thousand times more appealing than even the best cologne. ?Dina Sanchez, 29, Brooklyn

    No. 780: If you plan a date a week in advance, we'll spend the next seven days planning our outfit. Starting from the second you hang up the phone. ?Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York

    No. 521: If we are wearing white pants or shorts, we are looking to hook up. It's like code. ?Mallory Farmer, 23, Boston


    No. 861: Sometimes wingmen can do more harm than good, so be brave: do it alone. —Aminata Dia, 22, San Jose, California



    Read more: http://www.esquire.com/women/women-i...#ixzz1lugKc7EY
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Is doin' yo dad! White trash bitchy blonde's Avatar
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    You should also know that women are capable of 'cupping' their farts and throwing them in their husbands face in retaliation for said husband holding the wife under the blankets after he just farted.


    Just a bit of knowledge there for ya ron.

  3. #3
    Senior Member whackjob's Avatar
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    yeah...some of that shit is really dumb. before i saw it was esquire, i thought it was something out of cosmo.
    Last edited by whackjob; 02-09-2012 at 10:21 AM.

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    Squealing like a cat M Joy's Avatar
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    I agree with about 75% of these.
    I've never felt the need to be "chest-bumped"
    And I don't own any white pants or shorts

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash bitchy blonde View Post
    You should also know that women are capable of 'cupping' their farts and throwing them in their husbands face in retaliation for said husband holding the wife under the blankets after he just farted.


    Just a bit of knowledge there for ya ron.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  6. #6
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whackjob View Post
    yeah...some of that shit is really dumb. before i saw it was esquire, i thought it was something out of cosmo.
    So Cosmo isn't the place you go to learn about women?

    Quote Originally Posted by M Joy View Post
    I agree with about 75% of these.
    I've never felt the need to be "chest-bumped"
    And I don't own any white pants or shorts
    I think that chick is just a slut, so if she's not on the rag, it means GAME ON!
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
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    THIS:
    No. 252: We know it's high maintenance, but, for the love of God, don't sleep on the decorative pillows. —Emily, 33, Portland, Oregon

    Also 95 percent of those are from women in the 19-22 range, that's why it's skewed to stupid.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    THIS:
    No. 252: We know it's high maintenance, but, for the love of God, don't sleep on the decorative pillows. —Emily, 33, Portland, Oregon

    Also 95 percent of those are from women in the 19-22 range, that's why it's skewed to stupid.


    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to angelaiscaustic again.
    Last edited by Ron_NYC; 04-15-2014 at 01:25 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ron_NYC View Post
    Since this place is 98% women:
    http://www.esquire.com/women/women-i...out-women-0510

    No. 780: If you plan a date a week in advance, we'll spend the next seven days planning our outfit. Starting from the second you hang up the phone. ?Katie Knies, 22, North Salem, New York
    Bitches that don't have a life.. maybe.

    The earliest I think about that kind of thing is at least 6 hours. Fuuuuuck a whole week.


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    These Girls?

    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  11. #11
    Member rain's Avatar
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    Their all different, depends on the eye of the beholder, and ones taste, been wit afew.

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    Senior Member morbidT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash bitchy blonde View Post
    You should also know that women are capable of 'cupping' their farts and throwing them in their husbands face in retaliation for said husband holding the wife under the blankets after he just farted.


    Just a bit of knowledge there for ya ron.
    Cup of cheeeeese!

    http://<iframe width="420" height="3...reen></iframe>

  13. #13
    Senior Member morbidT's Avatar
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    That didn't work

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/pNcB5Gezpts" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

  14. #14
    Senior Member morbidT's Avatar
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    OH. MY. GOSH! Why is it not working?!

    http://youtu.be/pNcB5Gezpts

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    Senior Member FloobaToob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by g r ee n ey e s View Post
    Bitches that don't have a life.. maybe.

    The earliest I think about that kind of thing is at least 6 hours. Fuuuuuck a whole week.
    heeyy!!! I have a life, I think about that shit for ages if I'mma try and look good. Even though I end up in the same little black dress, and the same shoes as always.

  16. #16
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    Wut? White pants or shorts? And I agree with Angela, the decorative pillows and throw on the couch are not to be slept on!

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    Senior Member FloobaToob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by k_bass View Post
    Wut? White pants or shorts? And I agree with Angela, the decorative pillows and throw on the couch are not to be slept on!
    Oh yea. Dribble on the cute stuff, and I'mma claw you.

  18. #18
    Salty. angelaiscaustic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by k_bass View Post
    Wut? White pants or shorts? And I agree with Angela, the decorative pillows and throw on the couch are not to be slept on!
    Like it's an 8x8 inch pillow with beading on it. Why would you want to lay on it?!

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    Chin Checker g r ee n ey e s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FloobaToob View Post
    heeyy!!! I have a life, I think about that shit for ages if I'mma try and look good. Even though I end up in the same little black dress, and the same shoes as always.
    Precisely, girlfriend. Live life!!


    Quote Originally Posted by MoonDancer View Post
    And apparently you fuck the mods here.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelaiscaustic View Post
    Like it's an 8x8 inch pillow with beading on it. Why would you want to lay on it?!

    Exactly!

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Why do women buy those things?!?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  22. #22
    Senior Member TheFavoriteDaughter's Avatar
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    Because they're decorative

    And that Rose Farnsworth from Nashville sounds like a pain in the ass. You are 19! You're not a woman!
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

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    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Yea, these things all suck. These chicks have been through the wringer and half of them are only 22.

    No. 358: Loading the dishes without being asked — it means more than you know. —Alexandria Pruitt, 24, Louisville



    Um...yea, thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

  24. #24
    Moderator bowieluva's Avatar
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    I hate decorative pillows. I like everything to be comfortable. The wingman thing is totally true, though. They cock block more than they help most of the time. Like, if I meet a guy and his friend is a turn hitting on my friend who is uncomfortable, we're probably going to make excuses and bounce. Whereas if a guy approaches me alone I'm more likely to ignore my friend.

    You slept with mike so he would ban me. change your sig..the pretentious look how hipster face is so old ooh you like guys with glasses..ooooh

  25. #25
    Certified Grumple Bottoms Ron_NYC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    I hate decorative pillows. I like everything to be comfortable. The wingman thing is totally true, though. They cock block more than they help most of the time. Like, if I meet a guy and his friend is a turn hitting on my friend who is uncomfortable, we're probably going to make excuses and bounce. Whereas if a guy approaches me alone I'm more likely to ignore my friend.
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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