New study says spanking kids, makes them more aggresive?

[Nocturnity]

That sort of makes me want to watch the entire thing now.  I think I shall.

[Bella]

[quote author=Nocturnity link=topic=24989.msg1595302#msg1595302 date=1271214185]
That sort of makes me want to watch the entire thing now.  I think I shall.
[/quote]


I'm old. I had the album.  :2sad:

[blu]

[quote author=GothaBella link=topic=24989.msg1595307#msg1595307 date=1271214330]

I'm old. I had the album.  :2sad:
[/quote]

Me too. :2sad: I had it on cassette.  Listened to it on my way to school every morning for months.

[Nocturnity]

....and then a big brown shark caaaaaaaaaaame.

[ZoMyGoddess!]

[quote author=berryblu link=topic=24989.msg1595243#msg1595243 date=1271210202]
My ass was beat on the regular. I even had to pick my own belt or switch and it had "better be the right one."  I'm not an aggressive person at all. 
Of course my parents taught "Do as I say not as I do" as well. 
My brother only ever got one whipping and that was because he got kicked out of the movie theatre for talking during the movie.  He isn't aggressive either.

I spanked my kids when they needed it.  They aren't aggressive people. 
[/quote]

lol. I had to pick out my own belt sometimes too. I learned the skinnier ones hurt more.
My grandmom hit me at the beach with a flipflop for wandering off and making everyone worry. That hurt bad bc of the sand and I had gotten sun on my thighs.

At the car show this weekend, there was a mom with her son and I dunno what he did but she almost ripped his ear off. She pulled it so hard and was scolding him through her teeth. He was like 11yrs old. He started crying and hugging his mom. She just walked away with him. I don't think alot of people saw bc no one really reacted or made any faces/gestures after they walked off.  

[Nocturnity]

[quote author=ZoMyGoddess! link=topic=24989.msg1595315#msg1595315 date=1271214805]
lol. I had to pick out my own belt sometimes too. I learned the skinnier ones hurt more.
My grandmom hit me at the beach with a flipflop for wandering off and making everyone worry. That hurt bad bc of the sand and I had gotten sun on my thighs.

At the car show this weekend, there was a mom with her son and I dunno what he did but she almost ripped his ear off. She pulled it so hard and was scolding him through her teeth. He was like 11yrs old. He started crying and hugging his mom. She just walked away with him. I don't think alot of people saw bc no one really reacted or made any faces/gestures after they walked off.  
[/quote]


There is no way I could spank my daughter if she were crying and hugging me. No way in hell.   

[QueenBeeYatch]

My mom was abused by her mom, more so verbally, but there was some physical too.  She's not aggressive at all.  I think I was spanked twice and both were definitely justified.  One was for crossing a busy street by myself when I was 5.  That is the only one I remember. I never did it again.  Not because I had been spanked, but because I knew how scared and mad I had made my mom.  She made the conscious decision not to be like her mom though.  I'm more of a yeller and I have to work at not being like that.  I don't have my own kids, but have 2 step sons.  I'm not sure where I got it from, unless it was genetic.  My mom has said sometimes when I yell I remind her of her mom  :2sad:

[deeply shaded]

:2huh:  I'm sorry you guys got beatings. I got spanked some I think, but I only remember one time my dad was so pissed and smacked me across the face and knocked me into the side of the house and smacked me again. It broke a blood vessel in my eye and I told everyone at school that my dad beat me. Back then nobody cared though so it didn't cause any trouble. I was totally baiting him in the car before he did it.

[bowieluva]

There's such a huge line between a beating and spanking. Spanking because you're frustrated is totally ineffective, except it makes kids scared of you. Spanking so the kid associates pain with something fucking retarded they were doing works much better. Like I only got spanked if I was about to run into traffic or stick my hand on the stove.

[Circe]

I think as adults, we can all say we turned out ok, even after an occasional ass whooping or spanking or whatever. But as a parent, I just can't help but feel like hitting my child in anyway is out of the question. Maybe, when she's 14 and comes home 3hrs late, drunk, I might feel different. But for right now, for me, I can't fathom causing her physical harm. I don't understand the argument that spanking is effective when reserved for extreme situations because in extreme situations the last thing I want to do is hit her. I want to make her understand, at length if necessary the danger of what she may have tried to do. Just tonight, she was rocking on the back of a recliner and I told her to stop, she continued and asked "why", I said "because that recliner could flip over on top of you and kill you". Maybe other mom's would say that was harsher than a spanking, but she stopped, and I like to believe she understood.

I'm so over judging parents for what they do to their kids, and I realize it's not my fucking business unless they are really abusing them. I'm just saying for me, I have never felt the need or urge to spank C. Although, once, ONE TIME, when she was like a year old, I did slap her hand for knocking over a drink on the table. I remember it well, because I felt bad about it. Since then, I will sit her ass in time-out and listen to her scream and cry for 4 minutes, and it kills me, but I really think it makes her reflect on what she did way more than just slapping her ass ever would.

My ex-husband's daughters used to tell me about their mom "whooping them" and how they didn't care cause once it was over they could just go back and do the same shit anyway. Didn't seem to be effective on them.  :lol:

[Bella]

[quote author=bowieluva link=topic=24989.msg1595377#msg1595377 date=1271218498]
There's such a huge line between a beating and spanking. Spanking because you're frustrated is totally ineffective, except it makes kids scared of you. Spanking so the kid associates pain with something fucking retarded they were doing works much better. Like I only got spanked if I was about to run into traffic or stick my hand on the stove.
[/quote]


When my ex was about eight, his mother came in from taking out the trash to see him in flannel pajamas trying to light a kerosene or oil lamp upside down over a gas stove. She panicked and punched him right in the eye.
He had a black eye for Christmas that year.  :2shocked:

[Lazarus]

[quote author=GothaBella link=topic=24989.msg1595465#msg1595465 date=1271222660]

When my ex was about eight, his mother came in from taking out the trash to see him in flannel pajamas trying to light a kerosene or oil lamp upside down over a gas stove. She panicked and punched him right in the eye.
He had a black eye for Christmas that year.  :2shocked:
[/quote]


This statement is true based upon this verse

Parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but lead them to the Lord's instruction, (Ephesians 6)

Personally for me, this verse is saying, "Do not hold a piece of fruit in front of a baby's face and not give it to him or her". The second one is "Please do not take the kid's car keys for spilling milk on the table."

Follow these simple rules throughout  the child's entire lifetime and he or she will be Good Citizens, causing no harm.

[bowieluva]

[quote author=Lazarus link=topic=24989.msg1595508#msg1595508 date=1271231803]

This statement is true based upon this verse

Parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but lead them to the Lord's instruction, (Ephesians 6)

Personally for me, this verse is saying, "Do not hold a piece of fruit in front of a baby's face and not give it to him or her". The second one is "Please do not take the kid's car keys for spilling milk on the table."

Follow these simple rules throughout  the child's entire lifetime and he or she will be Good Citizens, causing no harm.
[/quote]

Oh, Laz.

[deeply shaded]

[quote author=Lazarus link=topic=24989.msg1595508#msg1595508 date=1271231803]

This statement is true based upon this verse

Parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but lead them to the Lord's instruction, (Ephesians 6)

Personally for me, this verse is saying, "Do not hold a piece of fruit in front of a baby's face and not give it to him or her". The second one is "Please do not take the kid's car keys for spilling milk on the table."

Follow these simple rules throughout  the child's entire lifetime and he or she will be Good Citizens, causing no harm.
[/quote]

Kinda like God did in the Garden of Eden you mean?

[sogs]

[quote author=Lazarus link=topic=24989.msg1595508#msg1595508 date=1271231803]

This statement is true based upon this verse

Parents, do not provoke your children to anger, but lead them to the Lord's instruction, (Ephesians 6)

Personally for me, this verse is saying, "Do not hold a piece of fruit in front of a baby's face and not give it to him or her". The second one is "Please do not take the kid's car keys for spilling milk on the table."

Follow these simple rules throughout  the child's entire lifetime and he or she will be Good Citizens, causing no harm.
[/quote]

And then read the rest of the Bible

[bowieluva]

Not to mention, unless your kid is Suri Cruise, you're not taking the car keys from them when they're four.

[deeply shaded]

Breastfeeding was created by God's magnificent design for all mammals and he is not silent on the topic of infant feeding.  His children can receive more than food from the breast of their mother. What greater gift can a mother give her child than the gift God has given............breastfeeding.
The biblical perspective of breastfeeding makes references to show breastfeeding to be a joyful, rewarding blessing to both mother and child.

NO MAN CAN IMPROVE ON WHAT GOD HAS DESIGNED.

[White trash bitchy blonde]

[quote author=sogs link=topic=24989.msg1594480#msg1594480 date=1271130735]
Now rednecks are gonna hit harder, to make kids even more aggressive.
[/quote]

I was spanked very little as a kid but when i was, it was by my dad and he did it with an open hand and on my bare butt.
i have swatted my kids on the butt, ive also popped my oldest one in the mouth for sassin me.  im also a yeller. 

my name is v and i beat my kids.

for real, i must be doing something right, my kids are well behaved, dont get into trouble and the two oldest ones get awesome grades.

[sogs]

[quote author=White trash bitchy blonde link=topic=24989.msg1595833#msg1595833 date=1271277363]


I was spanked very little as a kid but when i was, it was by my dad and he did it with an open hand and on my bare butt.
i have swatted my kids on the butt, ive also popped my oldest one in the mouth for sassin me.  im also a yeller. 

my name is v and i beat my kids.

for real, i must be doing something right, my kids are well behaved, dont get into trouble and the two oldest ones get awesome grades.
[/quote]

do you beat or spank?

[TheFavoriteDaughter]

[quote author=deeply shaded link=topic=24989.msg1595824#msg1595824 date=1271276881]
Breastfeeding was created by God's magnificent design for all mammals and he is not silent on the topic of infant feeding.  His children can receive more than food from the breast of their mother. What greater gift can a mother give her child than the gift God has given............breastfeeding.
The biblical perspective of breastfeeding makes references to show breastfeeding to be a joyful, rewarding blessing to both mother and child.

NO MAN CAN IMPROVE ON WHAT GOD HAS DESIGNED.
[/quote]

Well if he could get rid of cracked, bleeding nipples and clogged ducts I'm sure mothers everywhere would think that's a huge improvement.

[Natasha_XO]

[quote author=deeply shaded link=topic=24989.msg1595824#msg1595824 date=1271276881]
Breastfeeding was created by God's magnificent design for all mammals and he is not silent on the topic of infant feeding.  His children can receive more than food from the breast of their mother. What greater gift can a mother give her child than the gift God has given............breastfeeding.
The biblical perspective of breastfeeding makes references to show breastfeeding to be a joyful, rewarding blessing to both mother and child.

NO MAN CAN IMPROVE ON WHAT GOD HAS DESIGNED.
[/quote]


My lips are zipped. 

[deeply shaded]

[quote author=Natasha_XO link=topic=24989.msg1595970#msg1595970 date=1271284366]

My lips are zipped. 
[/quote]

Of course God also allows people to kill babies because it's all part of his great plan.  :-)

[White trash bitchy blonde]

[quote author=sogs link=topic=24989.msg1595964#msg1595964 date=1271283363]
do you beat or spank?
[/quote]i spank.  dallas is 3 and hadly ever gets a swat though anymore.  Noah and Bodhi are a  bit too big for that stuff but i have popped bodhi in the mouth for gettin lippy with me.  i dont even do it hard, its usually there feelings that get mroe hurt than anything. 

i think there are alot of parents that do take it to far.  my dad was way harsh with my sister.  he blacked her eye for gods sake.  my mom punched her in the face too.  they  never did that stuff to me.  i got spanked and i should also mention that my mom use to use a fly swatter or a wooden spoon or wooden paddle on me.  it sucked. i hated it.  ive never used an object on my kids.

my cousin was beat when she was younger and she refuses to spank her kids because she is terrified that she will go to spank out of anger and end up beating her daughter and son. 

[bowieluva]

[quote author=White trash bitchy blonde link=topic=24989.msg1595985#msg1595985 date=1271285204]
i spank.  dallas is 3 and hadly ever gets a swat though anymore.  Noah and Bodhi are a  bit too big for that stuff but i have popped bodhi in the mouth for gettin lippy with me.  i dont even do it hard, its usually there feelings that get mroe hurt than anything. 

i think there are alot of parents that do take it to far.  my dad was way harsh with my sister.  he blacked her eye for gods sake.  my mom punched her in the face too.  they  never did that stuff to me.  i got spanked and i should also mention that my mom use to use a fly swatter or a wooden spoon or wooden paddle on me.  it sucked. i hated it.  ive never used an object on my kids.

my cousin was beat when she was younger and she refuses to spank her kids because she is terrified that she will go to spank out of anger and end up beating her daughter and son. 
[/quote]
I think this is the purpose of discipline. It's when people hit because they're frustrated and angry, and it's for mixed reasons (I.e, I have a scar from when my dad hit me because we coudn't find my mom at Bed Bath and Beyond and I was scared), that it crosses into abuse.

[White trash bitchy blonde]

[quote author=bowieluva link=topic=24989.msg1596018#msg1596018 date=1271288196]
I think this is the purpose of discipline. It's when people hit because they're frustrated and angry, and it's for mixed reasons (I.e, I have a scar from when my dad hit me because we coudn't find my mom at Bed Bath and Beyond and I was scared), that it crosses into abuse.
[/quote]I have been in positions before where i was so mad that i wanted to smack the crap out of especially my oldest one.  there have been more than a few times where i had to walk away because i knew i was more than capable of doing it.  i didnt want to hurt him bad and i knew if i stayed in the room, i would have.