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Thread: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

  1. #76
    Senior Member deeply shaded's Avatar
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    I just don't have the patience. Would be a huge disservice to the kid to have me as its mother.

    A lady came in with a grown Downs son once when I worked at the convenience store. She yelled at him and belittled him the whole time they were in the store. I wanted to smack her, but that would so be me. I know my limits and that would be one of them.
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    Well if she knew at the beginning he had the medical condition and didn't abort that was selfish. If she didn't know and he was born and they just let nature take it's course by not really trying to keep him alive with any machines and he has survived this long....well what else can she really do? I have a friend who had a kidney transplant and shortly after got pregnant with twin girls. Everyone (including the doctors) told her to have an abortion because it could cost her her new kidney but she didn't and early on they told her the babies were malformed and the odds of survival were minimal. She insisted on having them. At the end of her fifth month one of the girls (the one that was badly malformed) died in utero and they had to do a c-section. The one that died was missing one arm and the arm she did have was missing the hand, her face was disfigured and she was spinavifida. The one that did survive has serious deformity of the face. She was born without eyes and a cleft palate. Her nose is off center and she has severe mental retardation. Me and my sister always say it was selfish of her to keep the baby. Everytime I see a pic of this baby girl I can only wonder what kind of life is in store for her  :-(

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    I cannot really say what I would do in that situation, either downs or something fatal.  I have a friend who had a baby with anencephaly and she chose to abort.  She still beats herself up over that decsion to this day.

    My husband's sister has downs and a whole list of other problems.  His mom dropped her off at the nearest state run facility when she was like 10 because she didn't want to deal with her in her new marriage.  Poor kid was mistreated at the first facility and ultimately got worse because of neglect.  She is 36 now.  I've never met her and his mom only sees her maybe, at most, once a year.  My husband is the only family member that seems to regularly check up on her.  He even worked at the facility she is currently at for a couple of years because he figured she would get better care if he worked there.  It's pretty sad and I could not imagine having a special needs child and then leaving them to that fate.  You might as well abort if you are not going to care for the child.

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    This is going to sound heartless - but my bro works with downs kids, teens mostly.  and he caught two having "sex" - he cant be sure the penis was actually inside but they were both naked and humping and he freaked out. 
    Can downs people reproduce? most of the time with a genetic disorder, the person is born sterile but my bro was all freaked out if the downs girl would end up pregnant would she have a downs baby or would it be normal with downs parents.  either way,... pretty sucky.
    I'm going to have to look this up.

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=ZoMyGoddess! link=topic=23636.msg1493151#msg1493151 date=1262369047]
    This is going to sound heartless - but my bro works with downs kids, teens mostly.  and he caught two having "sex" - he cant be sure the penis was actually inside but they were both naked and humping and he freaked out. 
    Can downs people reproduce? most of the time with a genetic disorder, the person is born sterile but my bro was all freaked out if the downs girl would end up pregnant would she have a downs baby or would it be normal with downs parents.  either way,... pretty sucky.
    I'm going to have to look this up.
    [/quote]
    Is it bad if that post cracked me up? :lol:
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=23636.msg1493153#msg1493153 date=1262369278]
    Is it bad if that post cracked me up? :lol:
    [/quote]
    no..
    well at least i wont be in hell alone.


    ok so after a bunch of websites and skimming - it seems that they are able to reproduce but females miscarry very easily. there is a 50/50 chance of their child having downs as well.  on rare occations the males are in fact, sterile, but most of the time is that the learning disabilities hinder them from sexually operating correctly.
    "if ya know what i mean"

    sigh, so many jokes in my head and not one appropriate... 

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    Superomnininjamember Monter's Avatar
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=ZoMyGoddess! link=topic=23636.msg1493151#msg1493151 date=1262369047]
    This is going to sound heartless - but my bro works with downs kids, teens mostly.  and he caught two having "sex" - he cant be sure the penis was actually inside but they were both naked and humping and he freaked out. 
    Can downs people reproduce? most of the time with a genetic disorder, the person is born sterile but my bro was all freaked out if the downs girl would end up pregnant would she have a downs baby or would it be normal with downs parents.  either way,... pretty sucky.
    I'm going to have to look this up.
    [/quote]
    This guy i used to do shows with had legal custody of his nephew beause the kids parents were both moderately retarded - around the same functionality level of someone with downs. Kid was in his teens, of normal iq and had two siblings who were both retarded. To say he was fucked up emotionally would be an understatement. The parents could barely keep up with the two younger kids who were disabled themselves- forget about parenting a kid with a "normal" IQ. Sad. Kind of scary too.
    You're entitled to your own opinions. You're not entitled to your own facts.- D. Moynihan
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=Monter link=topic=23636.msg1493170#msg1493170 date=1262370777]
    This guy i used to do shows with had legal custody of his nephew beause the kids parents were both moderately retarded - around the same functionality level of someone with downs. Kid was in his teens, of normal iq and had two siblings who were both retarded. To say he was fucked up emotionally would be an understatement. The parents could barely keep up with the two younger kids who were disabled themselves- forget about parenting a kid with a "normal" IQ. Sad. Kind of scary too.
    [/quote][quote author=Monter link=topic=23636.msg1493170#msg1493170 date=1262370777]
    This guy i used to do shows with had legal custody of his nephew beause the kids parents were both moderately retarded - around the same functionality level of someone with downs. Kid was in his teens, of normal iq and had two siblings who were both retarded. To say he was fucked up emotionally would be an understatement. The parents could barely keep up with the two younger kids who were disabled themselves- forget about parenting a kid with a "normal" IQ. Sad. Kind of scary too.
    [/quote]

    Just for the record not all people with DS have the same intellectual level. Their cognitive abilities can range from severely to moderately to mildly retarded to normal intelligence. It's rare but some people with Down Syndrome have completely normal intelligence and just have the physical aspects. Some just have learning disabilities which have absolutely nothing to do with intelligence or IQ. So it's kind of generalizing if you think they all run in the same IQ levels. I'm not trying to be confrontational, just trying to provide knowledge 
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    Monter, you gonna take that shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by bowieluva View Post
    Ron was the best part, hands down.

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=23636.msg1493197#msg1493197 date=1262374014]
    Monter, you gonna take that shit?
    [/quote]

    :lol: Don't be a shit starter!
    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

  11. #86
    Senior Member deeply shaded's Avatar
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=TheFavoriteDaughter link=topic=23636.msg1493205#msg1493205 date=1262375131]
    :lol: Don't be a shit starter!
    [/quote]

    I'm pretty sure monter is well aware of all you said, though.
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=bowieluva link=topic=23636.msg1489449#msg1489449 date=1262049431]
    I definitely know that it sounds really selfish, but I want to take care of a kid until a certain point, and then I want them to fly fly away and start their own lives. I told my mom that if I never have my own kids, I would never adopt a tiny baby. I don't mind nursing a child that can't take care of itself knowing that at some point it will be able to, but I can't do that job forever.

    I admit that growing up in my house, I learned to develop a pretty strong 'watch out for ME' ethic.
    [/quote]

    I don't have an issue at all with your stance on what you'd do if you were carrying a baby with Downs. I think it's far better to be honest about your limitations than to take on a child that you resent taking care of. The world isn't going to end if one less baby with Downs is born.

    But any time you have a child, you can't automatically assume that there will be a point at which they will fly away and you'll be done caring for them. Things happen. My younger SIL developed MS in her late 20s after being relatively independent for 10 years. She does live separately, but she's very dependent on the ILs. Obviously, this is just one thing that could happen -- kids can get into accidents and become quadripeligic, or have brain damage and end up even worse than a Downs kid in the first place.

    Of course, with Downs, you know that you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of care and with "normal" kids, there's just the risk of it. Point is that there are no guarantees that, even with a healthy child at birth, you'll be able to someday return to life as it was before becoming a parent.

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=rps67 link=topic=23636.msg1495091#msg1495091 date=1262614379]
    I don't have an issue at all with your stance on what you'd do if you were carrying a baby with Downs. I think it's far better to be honest about your limitations than to take on a child that you resent taking care of. The world isn't going to end if one less baby with Downs is born.

    But any time you have a child, you can't automatically assume that there will be a point at which they will fly away and you'll be done caring for them. Things happen. My younger SIL developed MS in her late 20s after being relatively independent for 10 years. She does live separately, but she's very dependent on the ILs. Obviously, this is just one thing that could happen -- kids can get into accidents and become quadripeligic, or have brain damage and end up even worse than a Downs kid in the first place.

    Of course, with Downs, you know that you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of care and with "normal" kids, there's just the risk of it. Point is that there are no guarantees that, even with a healthy child at birth, you'll be able to someday return to life as it was before becoming a parent.
    [/quote]
    That's all I needed to hear. :lol:
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  14. #89
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    Obviously with kids there's a 'shit happens' clause but choosing to have a baby with no brain is a 'shit happened' situation.

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=bowieluva link=topic=23636.msg1495165#msg1495165 date=1262622446]
    Obviously with kids there's a 'shit happens' clause but choosing to have a baby with no brain is a 'shit happened' situation.
    [/quote]

    Suzanne Knight (21) brutally raped and devoured 3 toddlers while on a meth binge before hanging herself Marky69: If those toddlers didnt want to be eaten then they shouldnt of looked so god damned delicious. RIP Suzanne

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=23636.msg1495164#msg1495164 date=1262622370]
    That's all I needed to hear. :lol:
    [/quote]

    Come on, now! Do you really need another reason to not want kids?

    Even if your kids are normal, the worrying never, ever stops and that sucks. Plus, if they're doing something stupid after they're out of your house, you have the option of keeping your mouth shut to keep the peace or telling them they're being stupid and pissing them off. I always go for the second one because it makes me feel better, but now my oldest is pissed at me because I told him he's an idiot for thinking he needs a shotgun for home protection. Oh, well.

    [quote author=bowieluva link=topic=23636.msg1495165#msg1495165 date=1262622446]
    Obviously with kids there's a 'shit happens' clause but choosing to have a baby with no brain is a 'shit happened' situation.
    [/quote]

    I'm going to hell because this cracked me up.  :lol:

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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=rps67 link=topic=23636.msg1495344#msg1495344 date=1262630865]
    Come on, now! Do you really need another reason to not want kids?

    Even if your kids are normal, the worrying never, ever stops and that sucks. Plus, if they're doing something stupid after they're out of your house, you have the option of keeping your mouth shut to keep the peace or telling them they're being stupid and pissing them off. I always go for the second one because it makes me feel better, but now my oldest is pissed at me because I told him he's an idiot for thinking he needs a shotgun for home protection. Oh, well.

    I'm going to hell because this cracked me up.  :lol:
    [/quote]
    I'm already sold on being child-free. You're just making me smile by mentioning the shananigans. :lol:
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=Ron_NYC link=topic=23636.msg1495345#msg1495345 date=1262630971]
    I'm already sold on being child-free. You're just making me smile by mentioning the shananigans. :lol:
    [/quote]

    If you ever feel your resolve wavering, let me know and I'll tell you another story.

  19. #94
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    Re: Nicholas Coke who was born without a brain, celebrates his first birthday

    [quote author=rps67 link=topic=23636.msg1495354#msg1495354 date=1262631505]
    If you ever feel your resolve wavering, let me know and I'll tell you another story.
    [/quote]

    ron?  never gonna happen. 
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