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Thread: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

  1. #26
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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    Dear Caltech parent,
    Yes, one of my son's Caltech friends said that in the past, students whom she knew who simply ideated were sent to the hospital. That is why I believe they do not have a consistent protocol in place. Do you know why our lawsuit can't go through, Caltech parent? Because my son's friend and her mother will not come forward. Their testimony is pivotal for any law firm to take the case on a contingency basis. Do you think Caltech may have "gotten to them" to ensure their non-cooperation? Parents could also be protecting daughter, but from what? Does she fear Caltech would retaliate against her daughter? I do not care about monetary damages. NOTHING could compensate us for the loss of our son. I want the decisions Caltech personnel made to be exposed in order to help other students and prevent other deaths by suicide and the devastating effects (in this case copycat deaths) it had on a small college community of young people. I would also want legal precedent to be set so colleges notify and bring in parents in cases of suicide attempts. We are not their enemies, but they treat us as such. I agree with the guidelines in the pdf I linked to about bringing in parents in the case of a suicide attempt to consult with college mental health personnel and deans and the student to come to best course of action.
    If I could only contact you somehow, I would have you rally together like-minded parents to protest the danger that Caltech's handling of my son's suicide attempt and death put YOUR children under. Many had to be given extensions on their work, many had post-traumatic stress symptoms (nightmares, etc.). According to some blog posts, people are saying that the risk of a suicide in the student body at Caltech is still high in the wake of the mishandled suicide of my son. Is there someone or a group of you who could help us?

  2. #27
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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    [quote author=MargaretGo link=topic=21871.msg1543936#msg1543936 date=1266801178]
    Dear Caltech parent,
    Yes, one of my son's Caltech friends said that in the past, students whom she knew who simply ideated were sent to the hospital. That is why I believe they do not have a consistent protocol in place. Do you know why our lawsuit can't go through, Caltech parent? Because my son's friend and her mother will not come forward. Their testimony is pivotal for any law firm to take the case on a contingency basis. Do you think Caltech may have "gotten to them" to ensure their non-cooperation? Parents could also be protecting daughter, but from what? Does she fear Caltech would retaliate against her daughter? I do not care about monetary damages. NOTHING could compensate us for the loss of our son. I want the decisions Caltech personnel made to be exposed in order to help other students and prevent other deaths by suicide and the devastating effects (in this case copycat deaths) it had on a small college community of young people. I would also want legal precedent to be set so colleges notify and bring in parents in cases of suicide attempts. We are not their enemies, but they treat us as such. I agree with the guidelines in the pdf I linked to about bringing in parents in the case of a suicide attempt to consult with college mental health personnel and deans and the student to come to best course of action.
    If I could only contact you somehow, I would have you rally together like-minded parents to protest the danger that Caltech's handling of my son's suicide attempt and death put YOUR children under. Many had to be given extensions on their work, many had post-traumatic stress symptoms (nightmares, etc.). According to some blog posts, people are saying that the risk of a suicide in the student body at Caltech is still high in the wake of the mishandled suicide of my son. Is there someone or a group of you who could help us?
    [/quote]


    Once you hit 10 posts you can PM people, hopefully Caltechparent will be back.  Sorry for your loss.

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    Thank you for that information. I hope she or he will be back, too. I had a thought that if interested Caltech parents could come forward, they could file an amicus curiae brief. We are still seeking legal redress for this grievous mistake, and I can be in touch with interested parents about our efforts.

    http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/amicus+curiae

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    Now this is a safety net:


    Cornell Cuts Suicide Rate in Half
    By John M Grohol PsyD

    Cornell University has made the controversial decision that a human life is worth more than strict privacy rules. As a result, it has cut its suicide rate amongst students in half in the past 6 years (as compared to the previous 6 years when this policy wasn’t in place).

    At the same time while undergraduate enrollment at Cornell has declined during most of the 2000’s, visits to the school’s counseling center have nearly doubled, from just over 11,000 in 2000 to nearly 20,000 in 2007. This may also help account for the reduction in the suicide rate.

    Students are making more use of the counseling services available to them, and staff at Cornell are keeping a closer eye on students who seem to experiencing extreme emotional difficulties:

        After years in which many colleges have said privacy rules prevent them from interceding with troubled students, Cornell is taking the opposite tack.

        Its “alert team” of administrators, campus police and counselors meets weekly to compare notes on signs of student emotional problems. People across campus, from librarians to handymen, are trained to recognize potentially dangerous behavior. And starting this year, Cornell is taking advantage of a rarely used legal exception to student-privacy rights: It is assuming students are dependents of their parents, allowing the school to inform parents of concerns without students’ permission.

    While I am somewhat conflicted about this policy, I applaud Cornell University and its counseling staff for erring on the side of safety rather than privacy. It’s hard to argue with solid data and results illustrating that as people become more educated about mental health and emotional warning signs, they can try and reach out to troubled students before it’s too late.

    Young adulthood is a special time within our emotional and social development. We take the personalities we’ve been building in high school and in close-knit social circles and expand upon them in more serious friendships and relationships. It can be a very emotionally-trying time for many. And because as young adults, we may not yet have an arsenal of reliable, useful coping skills, a person may be taxed beyond their emotional means.

    Cornell is taking the informed, networked, information-sharing-is-best approach that can best monitor students’ emotional health needs, without being truly intrusive. They ask more questions about a student’s mental health status even at regular health exams, and keep on the lookout for students that seem to be experiencing especially difficult times. It’s an approach that, while not perfect, I hope many other schools choose to follow as they reassess their mental health strategies in the wake of last year’s Virginia Tech massacre.

    The Wall Street Journal has the full article, Bucking Privacy Concerns, Cornell Acts as Watchdog.

  5. #30
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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    The circumstances surrounding Brain seem aweful. All my best to you.

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    Thank you.
    From "Letters to the Editor" commenting on "Bucking Privacy Concerns,...":

    Parents have the right to know if their child has a serious problem, and they need to know the progress of their child's schoolwork, especially if the parents are paying the cost of the education. Anything less than this is criminal. Bravo for Cornell, which shows deep concern for their students' welfare by taking responsibility and providing resources and money to implement a viable program that has shown results ("Bucking Privacy Concerns, Cornell Acts as Watchdog," Page One, Dec. 28).

    Other colleges and universities, in my opinion, appear to be hiding behind the specter of privacy in order to avoid the associated costs in resources and money. It is time for them to follow suit and provide similar services for students and parents alike.

    Dom Guerriero
    Orlando, Fla.

    Cornell is to be commended for taking steps to notify parents of concerns about students, without the students' permission. As a suitemate of Seung-Hui Cho at Virginia Tech, my son tried on several occasions to get assistance for Mr. Cho. A program such as Cornell's might have helped to identify him before the situation turned tragic. As your article notes, universities are reluctant to provide information to parents because of the threat of lawsuits and federal laws. It is refreshing to see a university taking a different approach to solve the problem and hopefully save lives in the process.

    Joseph H. Koch
    Moseley, Va.

    Cornell's interdisciplinary, multilevel approach is by far the most well-constructed counseling system yet created to deal with the many kinds of psychological issues that face students and administrators. The biggest issue our nation will deal with this century is mental health. Cornell is lighting the way for us to realize that each of us are bystanders who have power and responsibility to report information. Creating responsive systems is necessary for our future; it helps us all stay safe and sane.

    Dr. Susan Lipkins

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    My response to a friend in a private e-mail communication regarding an article in "The Washington Post" regarding FERPA, "Colleges Call in the Big Guns to Combat Drinking" An excerpt: "The federal Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act of 1974 prevents universities from sharing most student information, but it allows them to contact parents if a child's health or safety is at risk. In 1988, the act was amended to give colleges and universities permission to notify parents anytime a student younger than 21 had any alcohol or drug violation. That legislation was introduced by then-Sen. John Warner after five Virginia college students were killed in alcohol-related incidents in fall 1997, prompting a state investigation."

    My words:
    "It is my personal belief that the pendulum has swung entirely too far from "in loco parentis." So much of the behavior that goes on on college campuses is consistent with neurobiological research showing that the frontal cortex, the area of the brain that controls impulsivity and higher order emotional control, is not fully developed until 25 years of age. It exceeds the limits of "letting them sow their wild oats" or letting them explore their independence because the body bags are piling up. Our neighbor, who graduated from Maryland in May, had to break away from Brian's burial to go to visit three other friends' graves who had died last year: two from alcohol intoxication and one who had a heart attack one year after he had kicked a cocaine habit--it had damaged his heart. Certainly there is middle ground here between Big Brother or helicopter parents and preserving life."

    Quoting Attorney David Deluca, litigator in the "Shin v. MIT" case:
    "If a student is acting out because of drugs or alcohol, there's no hesitation to bring in the family." We've not gotten to the same point when it comes to mental health care."

    Also, the federal report to President Bush on the Virginia Tech incident recommended that state agencies both disseminate "accurate information to help ensure that family members, educational administrators, and mental health providers understand when and how they are legally entitled to share and receive information about mental illness and scrutinize state law to see whether appropriate changes are necessary to balance individual privacy versus the common good of security."

    What we need is a senator like John Warner in each state of the Union to do just that: to clarify FERPA and "call in the big guns" to combat suicides on college campuses...because the body bags are piling up, my friends.

    From Kay Redfield Jamison in "Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide":

    "Perhaps the magnitude of suicide in the young can best be illustrated by comparing the number of deaths from suicide with those from two other highly publicized causes of death in young men in the United States during the past forty years: the Vietnam War and the HIV/AIDS epidemic...Each--suicide, war, HIV/AIDS--has disproportionately killed young men. Obviously, any kind of death in this age group is terrible, whether it is from war, disease, or one's own hand. The Vietnam War took an appalling toll, but after twelve years it was over. A direct comparison of American male war deaths under the age of thirty-five during the official years of the Vietnam War, 1961-1973, with American deaths from suicide in the same age group, during the same time period, shows that there were almost twice as many suicides as war deaths. Most Vietnam War-related deaths occurred during only a portion of those years (1996-1970), however.
    A similar comparison of deaths from suicide and HIV/AIDS, carried out for the ten-year period 1987-1996, shows that almost 15,000 more young men died from suicide than from AIDS. The American HIV/AIDS epidemic has fortunately become somewhat less lethal in recent years, due to the availability of combination antiretroviral therapy and public health education campaigns. (Of interest, the 1995 National College Health Risk Behavior Survey...found that one out of two college students received education about HIV/AIDS prevention but fewer than one in five received information about suicide prevention.)
    Suicide, however, continues unabated, with little evidence of a decline. Indeed, the sharp increase in suicide in adolescents and young adults since the mid-1950s is obvious in the graph. So, too, is the cumulative death toll. Possible reasons for the increase--more accurate ascertainment of suicide deaths by coroners and medical examiners; an earlier and increased access to particularly lethal means, such as firearms; a younger age of first alcohol and drug use; an earlier age of onset of the severe mental illnesses; and increasing rates of depression--are discussed more extensively later in this book. Thirty thousand Americans kill themselves every year and nearly half a million make a suicide attempt medically serious enough to require emergency room treatment.
    Wars come and go; epidemics come and go; but suicide, thus far, has stayed. Why is this, and what can be done about it? These questions are at the heart of this book: understanding why people kill themselves and determining what doctors, psychologists, schools and universities, parents, and society can do to stop it. The public outrage against war deaths and HIV/AIDS has been far more obvious and effective than the advocacy undertaken on behalf of those who have died from suicide, but the horror and despair are no less real.
    Suicide is a particularly awful way to die: the mental suffering leading up to it is usually prolonged, intense, and unpalliated. There is no morphine equivalent to ease the acute pain...
    It is possible, with what we now know, to provide both comfort and remedy to stop at least some of the butchery. MOST SUICIDES (my emphasis), although by no means all, CAN BE PREVENTED. THE BREACH BETWEEN WHAT WE KNOW AND DO IS LETHAL."

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    ..And regarding post above from man from Fla. in "Letters to the Editor": I don't happen to care, and didn't with Brian, about seeing my children's grades in college. But I DO CARE TO KNOW THAT HE HAD ATTEMPTED SUICIDE and, mark my words, there will be plenty more parents who will care, and who will sue if they were sucker-punched like we were in not being told that a precious, irreplaceable human being, their own precious child,was in such imminent danger and no one saw fit to pick up the phone to let us know.

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    Re: Brian Go (20) committed suicide by inhaling helium

    Also, regarding caltech parent's assertion that Caltech sent home a student because she was posting about suicidal thoughts on FB and then Caltech didn't allow her to return, if that is indeed what happened, Caltech is going from one extreme to the other: If the student has a mental health diagnosis, she is protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act, and Caltech risks a lawsuit if they have broken a law here. I hope their new mental health task force will take into account all of these issues.

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    Not Brian Go alone

    Quote Originally Posted by MargaretGo View Post
    Dear Caltech parent,
    Yes, one of my son's Caltech friends said that in the past, students whom she knew who simply ideated were sent to the hospital. That is why I believe they do not have a consistent protocol in place. Do you know why our lawsuit can't go through, Caltech parent? Because my son's friend and her mother will not come forward. Their testimony is pivotal for any law firm to take the case on a contingency basis. Do you think Caltech may have "gotten to them" to ensure their non-cooperation? Parents could also be protecting daughter, but from what? Does she fear Caltech would retaliate against her daughter? I do not care about monetary damages. NOTHING could compensate us for the loss of our son. I want the decisions Caltech personnel made to be exposed in order to help other students and prevent other deaths by suicide and the devastating effects (in this case copycat deaths) it had on a small college community of young people. I would also want legal precedent to be set so colleges notify and bring in parents in cases of suicide attempts. We are not their enemies, but they treat us as such. I agree with the guidelines in the pdf I linked to about bringing in parents in the case of a suicide attempt to consult with college mental health personnel and deans and the student to come to best course of action.
    If I could only contact you somehow, I would have you rally together like-minded parents to protest the danger that Caltech's handling of my son's suicide attempt and death put YOUR children under. Many had to be given extensions on their work, many had post-traumatic stress symptoms (nightmares, etc.). According to some blog posts, people are saying that the risk of a suicide in the student body at Caltech is still high in the wake of the mishandled suicide of my son. Is there someone or a group of you who could help us?
    Hall, Green, Kopecky, Austin - all familiar names to our family. Our son attempted and very nearly succeeded in committing suicide at Caltech just 18 days after your dear son took that step. Same helium asphyxiation method. Then, less than a week later, on 10 June, Jackson Wang took his life. It was very nearly three in a row, in less than a month. It's mind-numbing to contemplate but one has to think there was some sort of connection.

  11. #36
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    Im sorry to hear your son attempted suicide.
    It does seem like there must be a connection

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    Bozworth, I've just read your note now and am horrified by this news. I hope your son is all right. A friend of my son, whose mother kept calling Caltech to tell them her daughter was getting sick trying to help him and that they had to do more for my son, said she was going to kill herself after he died. It is a very small school and with all the pressure these kids are under, it was bound to have an impact. These people you mention in your post (I don't like to even let them in my thoughts at this point, let alone speak their names.) let this caring and sensitive young woman carry a terrible burden when all it would have taken was a phone call to us in the aftermath of his attempt. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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    Dear Margaret,
    I see your love for your son shining through your search for a solution. It just seems like it would be common sense to notify the family.

    Brian sounded like such a bright, motivated and accomplished young man. What pride and joy he must have brought you.

    "Satisfaction of ones curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life" Linus Pauling

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    Yes, I loved my son, and we are grateful that he was sent to us. We will love him dearly until we take our last breaths. The only thing I can do now is extend the love I can no longer show to him directly in this earthly existence by taking the best care I can of his surviving siblings. From all I have read after Brian's death about mental illness and suicide, I have also committed to devoting much time to the cause of preventing death by suicide and reaching out (albeit in a layperson's way) to those suffering from mental illness and to those families suffering in the aftermath of a death by suicide of a loved one. I fundraise every year for The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, one of the nation's leading suicide prevention organizations and have walked in their Out of the Darkness overnight walks to heighten awareness of the stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness. We also give every year to Active Minds, Inc., a wonderful organization that uses donations to fund peer-to-peer mental health advocacy and support groups on college campuses nation-wide. Anyone interested in fighting this terrible scourge, one that since 1998 was called by then Surgeon General David Sacher a dire public health problem, can go to the websites of either of these organizations to donate or join the cause. Thank you for the support and sympathy and discussion of issues in mental health that this forum has provided. Best to all. As I used to say to my children whenever I left the house, "Take care of each other." I hope you all will do the same.

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    Senior Member poppy213's Avatar
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    How do you tell if you or a friend might need some help?


    The first thing to know is that seeking help is a sign of strength. If you're worried or concerned, go with your gut, ask for help! This is never a wrong decision. Truly, seeing a professional can really help.


    Recognizing the signs and symptoms of mental health disorders can help you help yourself or others to get the care that they need. Here are 12 signs you might notice in yourself or a friend, that may be reason for concern. They are certainly reason for you to talk with someone about what you're feeling:

    1. Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, depressed mood, poor self esteem or guilt
    2. Withdrawal from friends, family and activities that used to be fun
    3. Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
      1. Are you sleeping all the time? Or having trouble falling asleep?
      2. Are you gaining weight or never hungry?

    4. Anger, rage, or craving for revenge
      1. Sometimes people notice they are overreacting to criticism

    5. Feeling tired or exhausted all of the time
    6. Trouble concentrating, thinking, remember or making decisions
      1. Are you suddenly struggling in school?
      2. Sometimes academic performance suffers and grades drop

    7. Restless, irritable, agitated or anxious movements or behaviors
    8. Regular crying
    9. Neglect of personal care
      1. Have you stopped caring about your appearance or stopped keeping up with your personal hygiene?

    10. Reckless or impulsive behaviors
      1. Are you drinking or using drugs excessively?
      2. Are you behaving unsafely in other ways?

    11. Persistent physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive problems or chronic pain that do not respond to routine treatment
    12. Thoughts about death or suicide *

      http://www.activeminds.org/index.php


      I lost my first love to suicide. It happened 11 years ago and I still think about him, and feel a bit angry. I am looking into what I can do in my city to help out this cause.

      Thank you Margaret for the inspiration.

    "Satisfaction of ones curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life" Linus Pauling

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    Mrs. Go,
    First of all, this is just a heartbreaking story and your grief must be unimaginable. Just reading about what an amazing kid Brian is, it's a loss for us all.
    I'm sorry to be so late in replying — I have been on a 10-day road trip teaching workshops around the country, and I had time during my few breaks only to deal with emergency calls for help, of which we unfortunately have many with our small staff.
    Your perspective on the dangers of excessive secrecy at colleges is frankly much, much more valuable than mine. I can write and speak out about how FERPA excesses are harming the public's ability to become informed, but your story is the far more urgent and compelling one, and I hope you will continue telling it. Although we are primarily a journalists' organization, I get calls occasionally from parents who have had the frustration of contacting their child's school about a bullying incident, and being told, "I'm sorry, I can't tell you who beat up your son or whether we punished him, because of FERPA." When we put privacy ahead of young people's physical safety, something has really gone wrong.
    You are doing great honor to Brian's memory by advocating for reform of this misguided law. I will keep your contact information and if there is ever an opportunity to speak with the U.S. Department of Education or Congress about fixing the law, I hope that you might be able to come testify, because your experience with the terrible consequences of "secrecy over safety" should never be repeated by any other parent.
    Thank you for sharing this article and for staying in touch with us, I really do appreciate it.

    Frank D. LoMonte, Esq.
    Executive Director
    Student Press Law Center
    1101 Wilson Boulevard, Suite 1100
    Arlington, VA 22209-2211
    (703) 807-1904, ext. 121 phone
    (703) 807-2109 fax
    director@splc.org
    www.splc.org












    Dear Attorneys Lo Monte and Goldberg,

    I am sending a link to the article about my son's death while attending the California Institute of Technology that appeared recently in "Bethesda" magazine. We believe that privacy laws were misinterpreted in our son's case, resulting in his death. I called Attorney Goldberg in the fall of 2012 and he suggested I send him the article when it came out.

    Although our case does not invoke a First Amendment issue, FERPA has had other unintended consequences, and that is that we believe: Colleges hide behind these regulations as a way not to involve parents in their adult child's care in a crisis situation, and deaths that I believe were preventable have ensued.

    We are appealing the dismissal of our case against Caltech in summary judgment on September, 2011. We believe the deans and the college should be held responsible for neglecting to inform us and others who might have saved our son's life.

    I am a layperson, but I am willing and able to assist in any way I can in moving case law forward on this. I have disseminated your article in "Inside Higher Ed," Attorney LoMonte, about declaring FERPA unconstituional to friends, on social networking sites, and on my son's Facebook memorial page, which I use to advocate for better mental health care at colleges and in changing the benighted policies that lead to preventable deaths.

    I agree with you 100% that this law should be declared unconstitutional, and I would die happy if this were to happen in my lifetime. I am comforted by the fact that certain basic privacy would be maintained, but this law has gone much too far in keeping families out of the loop about real crimes that are happening on college campuses and about the information necessary to help their children in a moment of crisis.

    Thank you for your efforts.

    Here is the link to the article: http://www.bethesdamagazine.com/Beth...ey-Didnt-Know/

    Sincerely,
    Margaret A. Go

  17. #42
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    All the secrecy Mrs Go
    Im so glad to see you are continuing your fight and I hope you never stop

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    The question raised here is rather strange, I do not comprehend why to commit it in such an odd way, though if you have problems with studying, address here http://livecustomwriting.com/blog/sc...f-21st-century but please, not commit suicide!

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