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Thread: the death of a parent.

  1. #101
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1177729#msg1177729 date=1234037285]

    I am losing it, guys. I'm going completely insane. I don't even know what I'm doing. I've found myself crying for unknown reasons, and I assume it's just everything I'm going/have been through. A few weeks ago I woke up bawling my eyes out, and again; reason: unknown. I've also found that my fuse is getting shorter as every day passes by. It's like I don't even want people around me. Like when I'm in class, and people are talking, I just want to punch every single person in the face and leave. I just don't understand. :(
    [/quote]

    Sweetheart  You are the same age as my daughter. Im so sorry you are going through this, it hurts and it aches. Give yourself time. Don't be to hard on yourself. Don't over think things. Have you got someone whom you can crawl up into their arms and talk?
    Im so sorry you lost your Daddy.  :kiss3:

  2. #102
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=Rea68 link=topic=17884.msg1178194#msg1178194 date=1234071489]
    Sweetheart  You are the same age as my daughter. Im so sorry you are going through this, it hurts and it aches. Give yourself time. Don't be to hard on yourself. Don't over think things. Have you got someone whom you can crawl up into their arms and talk?
    Im so sorry you lost your Daddy.  :kiss3:
    [/quote]

    thanks. and no, i don't have someone that I can crawl up into their arms and talk. :(
    My mom and I have some issues...and anyone that I would do so with either lives a few thousand miles away or I just don't see them at the appropriate times. 
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  3. #103
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1178326#msg1178326 date=1234102478]
    thanks. and no, i don't have someone that I can crawl up into their arms and talk. :(
    My mom and I have some issues...and anyone that I would do so with either lives a few thousand miles away or I just don't see them at the appropriate times. 
    [/quote]
    Honey, you need to get yourself into some counseling!  You need to vent and get your feelings out in a big way!  Believe me, it might not feel like it at first but it really will help you!  Can you talk to a school counselor?  Do you go to church?  There is usually someone there that can help you as well.

    I know I told you this before but if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone, then write it out!  I was having an extremely tough time last week where I honeslty thought I was going to end up walking in front of traffic, I was fed up with life in general.  It scared me so bad because I was freaking out on people that didn't deserve the level of rage that I was inflicting on them!  I started writing again!  Huge help!  It doesnt solve your problems, but if you hold it in, you will literally explode!  Try it, anything is worth a shot!  Your dad would want you to be safe, happy and healthy!

  4. #104
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=White trash bitchy blonde link=topic=17884.msg1178868#msg1178868 date=1234147499]
    Honey, you need to get yourself into some counseling!  You need to vent and get your feelings out in a big way!  Believe me, it might not feel like it at first but it really will help you!  Can you talk to a school counselor?  Do you go to church?  There is usually someone there that can help you as well.

    I know I told you this before but if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone, then write it out!  I was having an extremely tough time last week where I honeslty thought I was going to end up walking in front of traffic, I was fed up with life in general.  It scared me so bad because I was freaking out on people that didn't deserve the level of rage that I was inflicting on them!  I started writing again!  Huge help!  It doesnt solve your problems, but if you hold it in, you will literally explode!  Try it, anything is worth a shot!  Your dad would want you to be safe, happy and healthy!
    [/quote]

    yea i see a school counselor. my sister's trying to get me a counselor outside of school. and I write all the time.
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  5. #105
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    I was just wondering if you guys think that even songs that my dad never heard or probably wouldn't listen to can still be signs of him, because of certain lyrics? For example "my little girl" by tim mcgraw. He normally didn't listen to country music, but the lyrics are something he would say/do/think
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  6. #106
    Senior Member Chompin's Avatar
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1177729#msg1177729 date=1234037285]

    I am losing it, guys. I'm going completely insane. I don't even know what I'm doing. I've found myself crying for unknown reasons, and I assume it's just everything I'm going/have been through. A few weeks ago I woke up bawling my eyes out, and again; reason: unknown. I've also found that my fuse is getting shorter as every day passes by. It's like I don't even want people around me. Like when I'm in class, and people are talking, I just want to punch every single person in the face and leave. I just don't understand. :(
    [/quote]

    I know this is not exactly insightful, but you should talk to a professional.  I mean, I know things will never be all right with you, but you can improve things...or so my optimistic nature would like to think.

  7. #107
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=Chompin link=topic=17884.msg1189056#msg1189056 date=1234925291]
    I know this is not exactly insightful, but you should talk to a professional.  I mean, I know things will never be all right with you, but you can improve things...or so my optimistic nature would like to think.
    [/quote]

    Well, I'm workin on gettin help. I see a school counselor & as soon as my mum gets insurance again I'm plannin on getting a counselor outside of school
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  8. #108
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1189126#msg1189126 date=1234928521]
    Well, I'm workin on gettin help. I see a school counselor & as soon as my mum gets insurance again I'm plannin on getting a counselor outside of school
    [/quote]

    I saw you made a post about the people around you drinking...  I would guess from your earlier posts - this is your mom...?

    Have you considered Alateen for some counseling?  It is free.

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

    I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to. - Donnie Darko

  9. #109
    Senior Member brie's Avatar
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1188969#msg1188969 date=1234921211]
    I was just wondering if you guys think that even songs that my dad never heard or probably wouldn't listen to can still be signs of him, because of certain lyrics? For example "my little girl" by tim mcgraw. He normally didn't listen to country music, but the lyrics are something he would say/do/think
    [/quote]

    Yes, but I believe in that sort of thing.
    Some people don't. do you?
    Quote Originally Posted by marakisses
    yes i said i will leave it under you storage he said cuddle with me i said shut up it over??? what am i doing wrong??

  10. #110
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=nestlequikie link=topic=17884.msg1189411#msg1189411 date=1234952558]
    I saw you made a post about the people around you drinking...  I would guess from your earlier posts - this is your mom...?

    Have you considered Alateen for some counseling?  It is free.

    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html


    [/quote]

    Yea I've considerred it. I decided not to because my sisters finding me a counselor and I feel more comfortable that way  :D
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  11. #111
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=brie star link=topic=17884.msg1189415#msg1189415 date=1234953622]
    Yes, but I believe in that sort of thing.
    Some people don't. do you?
    [/quote]

    Yea I believe in it I was wondering because I wasn't sure of the specific scenario.
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  12. #112
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1132161#msg1132161 date=1230579549]
    Sometimes I'll like hear something about someone that my dad knew, or like I'll see something on TV that he'd like and I'll think OH I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL DAD ABOUT THAT! and then realize that I can't necessarily have a conversation about it with him. it's hard and really sucks, but I suppose that without pain, we'd be unhuman.
    [/quote]

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost 7 months ago and it really has been the hardest thing that I've had to deal with. He was my best friend (he still is). I just try and constantly think of all the amazing memories that we created through the years. I still have those moments where I want to call him and tell him something, good or bad, and then I grab my phone and then I realize what am I doing? I just try and remember that he's watching over me now.

    After he passed, my mom dragged me to a medium and both he and my brother came through. It was pretty cool. I got some closure but not one day goes by that I don't think about him.

    If you ever want to talk, just let me know.

  13. #113
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=DaneOfTheDead link=topic=17884.msg1205689#msg1205689 date=1236344389]
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad almost 7 months ago and it really has been the hardest thing that I've had to deal with. He was my best friend (he still is). I just try and constantly think of all the amazing memories that we created through the years. I still have those moments where I want to call him and tell him something, good or bad, and then I grab my phone and then I realize what am I doing? I just try and remember that he's watching over me now.

    After he passed, my mom dragged me to a medium and both he and my brother came through. It was pretty cool. I got some closure but not one day goes by that I don't think about him.

    If you ever want to talk, just let me know.
    [/quote]

    aw, yea. It'll be two years for me in May. I just @#$. Can't believe it. I feel like it's hindering me from living my life. I get upset over stupid things that aren't even worth it, but I think it's because I'm just frustrated at the fact that my dad died. I don't know. Like last night my mom said that I have no friends other than my one best friend and today that totally got to me. & because my dog ran away in the morning, but I knew she'd be back when I got home. But, everything just got me today I was like lashing out at people, I was a bitch to everyone who needed me or wanted to talk to me. I ended up going to guidance and bawling. I didn't even talk to MY counselor I talked to the career specialist! LOL. Now that I think about it I don't understand how she didn't just laugh in my face. I left Spanish to go talk to someone in guidance and I was sobbing by the time I got to guidance and the lady was like What do you need? and I was like I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE and she told me to sit down and I did and she was like what's wrong? And I replied "My mom told me I have no friends and my dog ran away." Oh my. I must say I find it quite comical, now. But like I said, stupid things get the best of me now, and I have a very short fuse.
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  14. #114
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1206044#msg1206044 date=1236370115]
    aw, yea. It'll be two years for me in May. I just @#$. Can't believe it. I feel like it's hindering me from living my life. I get upset over stupid things that aren't even worth it, but I think it's because I'm just frustrated at the fact that my dad died. I don't know. Like last night my mom said that I have no friends other than my one best friend and today that totally got to me. & because my dog ran away in the morning, but I knew she'd be back when I got home. But, everything just got me today I was like lashing out at people, I was a bitch to everyone who needed me or wanted to talk to me. I ended up going to guidance and bawling. I didn't even talk to MY counselor I talked to the career specialist! LOL. Now that I think about it I don't understand how she didn't just laugh in my face. I left Spanish to go talk to someone in guidance and I was sobbing by the time I got to guidance and the lady was like What do you need? and I was like I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE and she told me to sit down and I did and she was like what's wrong? And I replied "My mom told me I have no friends and my dog ran away." Oh my. I must say I find it quite comical, now. But like I said, stupid things get the best of me now, and I have a very short fuse.
    [/quote]

    i'm sorry for your loss and congratulations about going to a counselor. my mom was murdered in 98, less than a month before my 13th birthday and i just recently started going to counseling and i already feel better. i'm really irritable and moody a lot of the time and i know it has to do with my mom, i've been like that since she died. i have a good feeling about my counseling sessions though so i hope your work out for you too!

  15. #115
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=k_bass link=topic=17884.msg1206242#msg1206242 date=1236383224]
    i'm sorry for your loss and congratulations about going to a counselor. my mom was murdered in 98, less than a month before my 13th birthday and i just recently started going to counseling and i already feel better. i'm really irritable and moody a lot of the time and i know it has to do with my mom, i've been like that since she died. i have a good feeling about my counseling sessions though so i hope your work out for you too!
    [/quote]

    thanks! I'm sorry about your mom. That must be terrible! But that's how I am, like sometimes I just want to punch everyone in there faces and walk away. :| LOL. At least I'm honest.  :lol:People come up with the dumbest things to say to me though, that's what really gets me. 
    Well, I suppose we can all go through this together! 
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  16. #116
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1206044#msg1206044 date=1236370115]
    aw, yea. It'll be two years for me in May. I just @#$. Can't believe it. I feel like it's hindering me from living my life. I get upset over stupid things that aren't even worth it, but I think it's because I'm just frustrated at the fact that my dad died. I don't know. Like last night my mom said that I have no friends other than my one best friend and today that totally got to me. & because my dog ran away in the morning, but I knew she'd be back when I got home. But, everything just got me today I was like lashing out at people, I was a bitch to everyone who needed me or wanted to talk to me. I ended up going to guidance and bawling. I didn't even talk to MY counselor I talked to the career specialist! LOL. Now that I think about it I don't understand how she didn't just laugh in my face. I left Spanish to go talk to someone in guidance and I was sobbing by the time I got to guidance and the lady was like What do you need? and I was like I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE and she told me to sit down and I did and she was like what's wrong? And I replied "My mom told me I have no friends and my dog ran away." Oh my. I must say I find it quite comical, now. But like I said, stupid things get the best of me now, and I have a very short fuse.
    [/quote]

    I get what you're saying. I sometimes take things out on the people closest to me (my husband, my mom, etc.) and I seem to get upset by the silliest things. When that happens I just take some time out and think about what my dad would say to me to calm me down and then I feel better. Maybe I need some therapy lol

  17. #117
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=DaneOfTheDead link=topic=17884.msg1207514#msg1207514 date=1236488910]
    I get what you're saying. I sometimes take things out on the people closest to me (my husband, my mom, etc.) and I seem to get upset by the silliest things. When that happens I just take some time out and think about what my dad would say to me to calm me down and then I feel better. Maybe I need some therapy lol
    [/quote]

    haha. I know, I feel like I should be in like anger management.  Because I'm ridiculous when I'm angry, there's no reasoning with me whatsoever and if someone tries I just speak over them until they shut up or I'll pick up my fists as a threat, and once I actually hit someone, without planning it, and that was the only time I actually hit someone that I didn't really know. I've hit a lot of people, but I don't know. It sounds a lot worse when I say it, then it really was. :lol: oops. So, yea, I pretty much hate people sometimes and want to shoot them all. 
    : )
    When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.

  18. #118
    Senior Member twopointohhh's Avatar
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    Re: the death of a parent.

    [quote author=RIP DADDY link=topic=17884.msg1207804#msg1207804 date=1236522584]
    haha. I know, I feel like I should be in like anger management.  Because I'm ridiculous when I'm angry, there's no reasoning with me whatsoever and if someone tries I just speak over them until they shut up or I'll pick up my fists as a threat, and once I actually hit someone, without planning it, and that was the only time I actually hit someone that I didn't really know. I've hit a lot of people, but I don't know. It sounds a lot worse when I say it, then it really was. :lol: oops. So, yea, I pretty much hate people sometimes and want to shoot them all. 
    : )
    [/quote]

    I'm the same way, When I am mad there is no point in arguing with me, Im very stubborn at times, But I understand how you feel, Kind of anyway...I lost my dad too. But it was when i was younger, About 4, So I don't remember him really..Which I think makes it a little easier, But now my mom is sick and her illness is terminal and the doctor said he'd give her a couple of years..So I don't know how I am going to handle that when that time comes.

  19. #119

    Re: the death of a parent.

    Hi sweetheart hang in there! I know its hard to deal with all the details of a death of a parent. Not to mention.. A suicide. You carry on honey, carry on a legacy of your daddy make him proud and be strong I know how badly it hurts. My mama Dawn A.Flogel left me on May 22nd 2008. She was my best friend mama and over all hero and the pain never goes away does it? You just have to talk or write about that is what has been helping me in which I have just started doing so that I don't do to my 2 baby girls what my mama has done to me. I'm not mad at her I feel for her and I tell her daily that I love her and wish I could have changed things more for her. Carry on sweetheart. Continue to fight the good fight and know I am here for you and I feel every ounce of pain you do. I understand and will be here if you need to talk at anytime! Thanks a lot. Look to god he will bring you the most comfort although it may not seem that way. RiP Mama my best friend and Hero!

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