Karen Rothman-Fried (36) died from idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy

[AndrewNY]

[quote author=DeannaB4 link=topic=17528.msg1138404#msg1138404 date=1231049819]
Andrew, if you're still checking in with us, you are in my thoughts.
[/quote]

I do check in once in a while and want to thank everyone here once more for your continued words of support.  It is of enormous comfort for me to receive such comments from friends and strangers alike.  I am finding strength in writing the blog and a measure of solace in being able to speak about Karen and our life together.  It touches me greatly to know that it also is meaningful to others who never had the opportunity to know her personally. 

Please feel free to continue writing to me here or by email through the blog if anyone wishes, I truly do appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Andrew

[DeaB4]

[quote author=AndrewNY link=topic=17528.msg1139584#msg1139584 date=1231135922]
I do check in once in a while and want to thank everyone here once more for your continued words of support.  It is of enormous comfort for me to receive such comments from friends and strangers alike.  I am finding strength in writing the blog and a measure of solace in being able to speak about Karen and our life together.  It touches me greatly to know that it also is meaningful to others who never had the opportunity to know her personally. 

Please feel free to continue writing to me here or by email through the blog if anyone wishes, I truly do appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Andrew
[/quote]


I am glad you are finding a way through.  Your story is very compelling and I think it's very admirable that you have been and are willing to share it.  Again, thank you for that and my thoughts are with you.  There are a few folks I believe are following this thread without commenting directly in it, as well.  I am guessing they don't know what to say, and I get that.  Your ability to put things into words, given your loss, is outstanding and awe inspiring.  I bet Karen is looking at you now and is proud as all get out. 

RIP Karen.

[andrea0121]

Ugh.  My heart physically hurt after reading this thread.  So sad. 


God Bless. Andrew, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Reading or hearing stories like these should make people take a step back and examine how they treat their own loved ones, because you never know...

RIP Karen and baby James

[Hellbettie]

[quote author=AndrewNY link=topic=17528.msg1139584#msg1139584 date=1231135922]
I do check in once in a while and want to thank everyone here once more for your continued words of support.  It is of enormous comfort for me to receive such comments from friends and strangers alike.  I am finding strength in writing the blog and a measure of solace in being able to speak about Karen and our life together.  It touches me greatly to know that it also is meaningful to others who never had the opportunity to know her personally. 

Please feel free to continue writing to me here or by email through the blog if anyone wishes, I truly do appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Andrew
[/quote]

Writing is so therapeutic isn't it?  It's nice to be able to put words on paper, instead of holding it all inside.  My thoughts are with you, your writings are really really touching. 

[neenerneener]

[quote author=AndrewNY link=topic=17528.msg1139584#msg1139584 date=1231135922]
I do check in once in a while and want to thank everyone here once more for your continued words of support.  It is of enormous comfort for me to receive such comments from friends and strangers alike.  I am finding strength in writing the blog and a measure of solace in being able to speak about Karen and our life together.  It touches me greatly to know that it also is meaningful to others who never had the opportunity to know her personally. 

Please feel free to continue writing to me here or by email through the blog if anyone wishes, I truly do appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Andrew
[/quote]

so so sorry for your loss.  your wife seemed like such a lovely woman. 

thank you for the reminder to really stop and appreciate the people in my life. 

[Gemini]

[quote author=Nomad link=topic=17528.msg1126991#msg1126991 date=1230061880]
I just read through the articles and his blogs about this, and really have no words.  Their story kind of makes me want to be a better person, and nicer to the people around me.  You never know when you're going to lose them.
[/quote]



Their story has had that effect on me too. It makes you focus on what is important in life and makes me feel like I shouldn't get hung up about petty, irrelevant issues.

[quote author=Nomad link=topic=17528.msg1126991#msg1126991 date=1230061880]
I feel for this guy.  I can't imagine the pain he must be going through.  I don't know if I could handle something like this at all.
[/quote]



Again, ITA Nomad.
Andrew is inspirational. His writing, outlook and beliefs have really touched me.

RIP Karen and James 

Andrew, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Karen's and your story, it is deeply touching. You are in my thoughts. 

[butterflykim]

Andrew, THANK YOU for continuing to post here. we're all so very sorry and torn up over your loss. karen is and always will be a remarkable woman.

[Nomad]

[quote author=Gemini link=topic=17528.msg1144668#msg1144668 date=1231494382]


Their story has had that effect on me too. It makes you focus on what is important in life and makes me feel like I shouldn't get hung up about petty, irrelevant issues.



Again, ITA Nomad.
Andrew is inspirational. His writing, outlook and beliefs have really touched me.

RIP Karen and James 

Andrew, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Karen's and your story, it is deeply touching. You are in my thoughts. 

[/quote]

Andrew inspired me to start a new blog of my own.  Writing about your life is an excellent outlet, even though my life hasn't been affected anywhere near Andrew's.  I'm just writing to get my thoughts down.  I've got two entries up already!  Woo!

But, yeah, I actually think about this story a lot and just how precious people are, and how quickly they can be taken away.  Embrace life, people.  God knows it could be taken away at any moment. 

[AndrewNY]

Thank you to everyone here once again.  The words of support I read here have been comforting.

I was wondering if someone could help me with something, I've tried to send a private message on here but have not been able to get it to work.  I'm not computer illiterate but can't seem to focus enough to figure out what I'm doing wrong.  Does it require being a premium member?  Certain number of posts?  Something I'm missing altogether?

Thanks in advance.
Andrew

[DeaB4]

[quote author=AndrewNY link=topic=17528.msg1145961#msg1145961 date=1231575817]
Thank you to everyone here once again.  The words of support I read here have been comforting.

I was wondering if someone could help me with something, I've tried to send a private message on here but have not been able to get it to work.  I'm not computer illiterate but can't seem to focus enough to figure out what I'm doing wrong.  Does it require being a premium member?  Certain number of posts?  Something I'm missing altogether?

Thanks in advance.
Andrew
[/quote]
Hi Andrew,

You need 10 posts before you can PM.  Go to Jibber Jabber and get your next five in there.  You can play "The Game" or "Change One Letter", but read the rules to start.  You could, technically, also just "ha" at general messages.  It's really, really hard to get out of line in jibber jabber.  Good luck!

PS - I just emailed you at your blog and now I feel like a stalker.  I am not, FYI.

[sweet elixir]

Karen sounded like an incredible woman and she certainly chose a wonderful husband. 

My most sincere condolences to you.  You truly are an inspiration, dear sir. 

[Mellij]

this whole scenario breaks my heart! I have been reading articles here at MDS for ages,  but havent ever posted until now. The whole situation with Karens death is eerily similar to my own experiences, my mom's death was caused by nearly the same cause as Karen's ( my mom's cardiomyopathy was not dilated being the difference) and my mom had just given birth to my twin sisters, so this one really hits home.
Karen seems like she was such a wonderful person, i will never understand why tragedies happen to the good people.

[AndrewNY]

[quote author=DeannaB4 link=topic=17528.msg1145963#msg1145963 date=1231576686]
Hi Andrew,

You need 10 posts before you can PM. 
[/quote]

Thanks.

[ZoMyGoddess!]

wow,
I cannot help but be amazed and inspired by the love shared by Andrew and Karen. 

Andrew,
i cant help but tell you how sorry i am for your loss but how inspired i am by everything you have shared.  Thank you for all you have written and shared about Karen.  I does help share what a wonderful person she is.


When he described about the timing of the cardiomyopathy, it really touched me - how he said she was with him, after rating a meal a 10.. only 24 hours from being in front of her students.  I am a teacher also, and just on friday, i was feeling nausous and faint in front of my students - and they really reacted.  I felt so bad, that i fought through what i was feeling and acted fine so they would calm down.
I totally understand what he was saying and the fact that he understood that really shows how much he understood Karen and loved her.

God Bless

[nestlequikie]

[quote author=ZoMyGoddess! link=topic=17528.msg1148003#msg1148003 date=1231743608]
wow,
I cannot help but be amazed and inspired by the love shared by Andrew and Karen. 

<snip>

I totally understand what he was saying and the fact that he understood that really shows how much he understood Karen and loved her.

God Bless[/quote]

It is inspiring to me to be allowed to read about their life and love.

Andrew has updated his blog.

An excerpt follows:

I wanted to finish by passing along a song lyric that has been running through my mind quite a bit over the last few weeks. It sums up much of the feeling I've been having in the wake of Karen's and James' deaths. From Coldplay's "Viva La Vida," which roughly translates to "live the life":

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I am sure getting out of bed each day and putting one foot in front of the other is incredibly difficult for Andrew.    But, oddly enough, I get a sense of comfort from reading his words.  I feel badly because I should be the one offering comfort to someone in his position - not the one receiving it.

But, again, I believe this is another example of Karen's legacy...  it has to be.  Is it odd that a woman I never met and who lived almost 3000 miles away from me has made me so profoundly aware of how blessed I am to be able to "Viva La Vida" at least for today??  Nope, the teacher from PS321 teaches us yet another lesson.

Andrew, you remain in my thoughts and prayers.

[nestlequikie]

Andrew has several new blogs since we last bumped his page.  Yet again, his writings will move you.

Also, keep Andrew in your thoughts this Friday.   February 13th was baby James' due date.  Friday, February 13th babies have a place in my heart as my son was born on Friday, February 13, 1987.

I wish you peace, Andrew.

Fly high Andrew's angels.

ETA Blog Link:  http://fryguysthinkings.blogspot.com/

[Golda My Ear]

I'm posting this because I thought maybe Andrew would be interested to read it.

Actress Natasha Mc Elhon lost her husband from the same thing last year. He was a surgeon. One day he was at home and she was at work, they spoke on the phone, and then he died suddenly in front of their home.

This is her tribute to him.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedishrag/2008/05/natasha-mcelhon.html

[AndrewNY]

[quote author=Golda My Ear link=topic=17528.msg1181333#msg1181333 date=1234332237]
I'm posting this because I thought maybe Andrew would be interested to read it.
[/quote]

I didn't recognize the actress's name, but knew her when I saw her picture.  Thanks for passing along the article.

[butterflykim]

one of Andrew's latest entries made me so sad for him.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The things I should be doing

I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

I should be waking up for midnight feedings. I should be perfecting my diaper changing skills. I should be cooking for Karen and her cooking for me. I should be hugging her. I should be kissing her. I should be making memories with her. I should be watching James grow. I should be growing old with her. I should have a family and we should be living in Brooklyn together.

I shouldn't be thinking about estate issues. I shouldn't be picking out a grave marker. I shouldn't be sleeping alone. I shouldn't be wondering what James would have grown up to have been. I shouldn't have the terrible memories and images from the worst day of my life flashing in my mind constantly as they do now.

I should be happy, but can't imagine that now.
Posted by Andrew "Fry Guy" Fried at 1:05 AM 0 comments 

http://fryguysthinkings.blogspot.com/

[butterflykim]

Saturday, May 16, 2009
Six Months

Six months ago today was the worst day of my life.

Six months ago today my wife, my love died in front of me.

Six months ago today I became a father only to be told my son died.

Six months ago today I fell on the floor in tears.

Six months ago today my family, overcome by their own grief, enveloped me with their love and support.

Six months ago today I last kissed Karen, caressed her hair, felt her skin against mine, and wept.

Six months ago today I felt my life ended, my future lost, and the world crashed down around me.

Six months ago today I sat numbly in my rabbi's office vainly trying to make sense of what happened.

Today, six months later, I still cannot make sense of what happened and live day to day with the horrible memories of that day, memories which I press out of my mind however temporarily by remembering the indescribably wonderful fourteen months we had together.

Today, six months later, I am living - getting out of bed each morning and trying to create something new from the shards of the shattered life I once had.

It is hard, but I press on with my journey.

It is what she would have wanted me to do. It is what I need to do to honor her memory.

I miss her so much.

http://fryguysthinkings.blogspot.com/

it's been 6 months already... 

[sue_vicious]

[quote author=butterflykim link=topic=17528.msg1277907#msg1277907 date=1242593739]


http://fryguysthinkings.blogspot.com/

it's been 6 months already... 

[/quote]
Hard to believe!
I wish he would stop by again. I know he has soooo much more on his mind than this site. I need to check in on him.

[AndrewNY]

[quote author=sue_vicious link=topic=17528.msg1277910#msg1277910 date=1242594420]
I wish he would stop by again. I know he has soooo much more on his mind than this site. I need to check in on him.
[/quote]

Thank you all for your continued well wishes and support.  Writing the blog has been a cathartic outlet for me in coping with my grief.  That others have been moved by what I've written gives me added strength. 

Thanks again.

[butterflykim]

[quote author=AndrewNY link=topic=17528.msg1278831#msg1278831 date=1242676613]
Thank you all for your continued well wishes and support.  Writing the blog has been a cathartic outlet for me in coping with my grief.  That others have been moved by what I've written gives me added strength. 

Thanks again.
[/quote]

thanks so much for stopping by! Karen's story has touched me in a way that i can't really explain; considering you both are strangers to me. i just feel compelled to occasionally check up on you to see how you're doing. i hope you continue to always find strength. take care, Andrew! 

[sue_vicious]

Andrew, HI! You're amazing. 

[Olivia]

Andrew is still blogging 

Andrew

From the day we re-met you have surrounded me with your love warmth and kindness
With you I feel completely myself
With you I feel understood, heard

Andrew, you share yourself with me without reservation.
You confide in my your joys fears and wonderings

You look and listen at the world
with clear open eyes
the eyes of wisdom

Everyone who has met me today has remarked at how calm & relaxed I appear. How can I be anything else when I know that our marriage is the most natural and organic paths our lives can take.

I am for you and you for me
My love for eternity.
Ani li dodi, v dodi li.