Nancy Drew
co-trucker
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There's always other boyfriends.
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« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2009, 12:27:23 pm » |
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It's such a touchy subject. It's so sad because it's not that people who are mentally retarded don't have the capacity to love a child, it's that cases like your friends are rare and far in between. That child is lucky she has parents who understand they need help and people who are willing to help. In all honesty though, would I want any of the kids I work with have children? No. That doesn't mean though, that there are people out there who can't care for a child. There was a great article in People about this recently. They referred to the woman as intellectually disabled, which they are pushing for to be the new language in the laws and what not. I like this a lot better because, although mental retardation is the true medical term, it has such a negative connotation.
*Now stepping off of soap box
Yes, I was going to bring up that article! It was such a success story and the girl was so happy and well-adjusted.
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Tara is nicer than a fluffy kitten with a rose as a tail that shits out skittles. (973): How has he not realized you're pregnant? (201): Spanx.
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bekkyboo1985
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« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2009, 12:36:08 pm » |
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She looks so sad  Poor girl. People with disabilities can raise a happy, healthy child. There are parents out there who both have down syndrome and have still got their children.
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Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
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TheFavoriteDaughter
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« Reply #22 on: November 04, 2009, 12:37:51 pm » |
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Yes, I was going to bring up that article! It was such a success story and the girl was so happy and well-adjusted.
I think she was in the gifted program too. Great success story. We have 2 sisters (16 and 17) who very severely molested and abused that have been in foster care most of their lives. They are quite intelligent, almost where it seems they could be considered learning disabled as opposed to MIMR. Then you get to their social behavior.....sexually aggressive to males and females, absolutely no idea of social etiquette (meaning they will get in a strangers face and ask to be their best friend, which is not cute at this age), seek attention in any form possible. Plain and simple, they are predators. Last year, they both had hysterectomies. It was because they have "female problems" (yeah right). Although these are girls that we don't want to reproduce, I really don't know how the state justified or allowed this surgery. They can come back one day, after being put up to it by somebody, and sue because they are unable to have kids. She looks so sad  Poor girl. People with disabilities can raise a happy, healthy child. There are parents out there who both have down syndrome and have still got their children. I wonder if those people have cognitive disabilities. It is very rare, but some people with Down Syndrome don't have any. Surprised the shit out of me
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bekkyboo1985
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« Reply #23 on: November 04, 2009, 12:40:24 pm » |
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I think she was in the gifted program too. Great success story. We have 2 sisters (16 and 17) who very severely molested and abused that have been in foster care most of their lives. They are quite intelligent, almost where it seems they could be considered learning disabled as opposed to MIMR. Then you get to their social behavior.....sexually aggressive to males and females, absolutely no idea of social etiquette (meaning they will get in a strangers face and ask to be their best friend, which is not cute at this age), seek attention in any form possible. Plain and simple, they are predators. Last year, they both had hysterectomies. It was because they have "female problems" (yeah right). Although these are girls that we don't want to reproduce, I really don't know how the state justified or allowed this surgery. They can come back one day, after being put up to it by somebody, and sue because they are unable to have kids.
I wonder if those people have cognitive disabilities. It is very rare, but some people with Down Syndrome don't have any. Surprised the shit out of me
So DS is just physical?
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Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
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TheFavoriteDaughter
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« Reply #24 on: November 04, 2009, 12:47:45 pm » |
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So DS is just physical?
Well, there are the physical characteristics that define it. Mental retardation (whether mild, moderate, or profound) usually goes hand in hand with DS. But since there is such a small percentage that is not mentally retarded, it does make it a physical disability as opposed to a mental one. Sorry I got to that in such a round about way, I'm writing a paper and I'm totally talking about the same thing so I'm in scholarly mode 
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lulupop
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« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2009, 12:53:10 pm » |
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An interview with the head of mencap (the UK's leading learning disability charity working with people with a learning disability and their families and carers) and kerry & her partner
http://www.youtube.com/v/7Yd25ejL6jU&rel=1http://www.gm.tv/articles/40081-woman-baby-learning-difficulties.htmlA woman will have her baby taken away from her because of her learning difficulties - let us know what you think
A mother-to-be whose wedding was halted by social workers who said she was not intelligent enough to marry, has now been told her baby will be taken away.
Kerry Robertson, 17, who has mild learning difficulties, has been told that she will not be allowed to bring up the baby due in January.
Mencap, the charity for people with learning disabilities has spoken out in support of the couple because they say, with the right support, there's no reason why someone with learning disabilities cannot be a good parent.
Stephen Moore, Executive Director, Social Work Service said:
"Much of the work we do is governed by legislation. Complex decisions are made that balance risk and welfare while supporting people at times of personal or family need.
"We cannot discuss details of individual cases for reasons of confidentiality but give assurance that we will always work with people for the best outcome for all involved."
Mencap's chief executive, Mark Goldring said:
"There are around a quarter of a million parents with a learning disability in the UK, all of whom should have the same opportunities as anyone else to be a parent and look after their own children. Yet up to 60 per cent of parents who have a learning disability will at some stage have their children taken away, often because of preconceived ideas that parents with a learning disability are unable to cope.
"With the right support people with a learning disability can be and are excellent parents, yet many fear that asking for help may be seen as an admission of failure which would result in their children being taken away.
"Mencap wants support for parents with a learning disability to be more readily available, as well as learning disability training for local authorities so that decisions about parenting capacity are made on the individual case rather than prejudice."
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bekkyboo1985
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« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2009, 03:47:29 pm » |
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Well, there are the physical characteristics that define it. Mental retardation (whether mild, moderate, or profound) usually goes hand in hand with DS. But since there is such a small percentage that is not mentally retarded, it does make it a physical disability as opposed to a mental one. Sorry I got to that in such a round about way, I'm writing a paper and I'm totally talking about the same thing so I'm in scholarly mode  I've heard that. Some have the physical appearance of DS but are 'normal' mentally. It must be do difficult for them, but they always seem so damn happy! We have a group at our local Bowling Alley who named themselves the 'Downs' and they have a blast! It's a crack up when you see one get a 7- 10 split and they are bouncing around cheering  Instantly makes my day better when I see how much fun they are having.
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Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 
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Yomalex3
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The world runs on feces.
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« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2009, 12:42:56 am » |
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It's such a touchy subject. It's so sad because it's not that people who are mentally retarded don't have the capacity to love a child, it's that cases like your friends are rare and far in between. That child is lucky she has parents who understand they need help and people who are willing to help. In all honesty though, would I want any of the kids I work with have children? No. That doesn't mean though, that there are people out there who can't care for a child. There was a great article in People about this recently. They referred to the woman as intellectually disabled, which they are pushing for to be the new language in the laws and what not. I like this a lot better because, although mental retardation is the true medical term, it has such a negative connotation.
*Now stepping off of soap box
I must agree with you.
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TheFavoriteDaughter
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« Reply #28 on: November 10, 2009, 09:19:59 pm » |
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I've heard that. Some have the physical appearance of DS but are 'normal' mentally. It must be do difficult for them, but they always seem so damn happy! We have a group at our local Bowling Alley who named themselves the 'Downs' and they have a blast! It's a crack up when you see one get a 7- 10 split and they are bouncing around cheering  Instantly makes my day better when I see how much fun they are having. That's awesome! We are about kids owning their disabilities. We want them to know what it is and how it affects them, that way they can gain power from it and not have people make them less of a human because of it.
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ceraaa
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« Reply #29 on: November 11, 2009, 12:54:25 am » |
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Only the woman has mental retardation, right? I don't understand what the problem is, if her fiance is going to be there. The amount of single parents in the UK (In no way being judgemental, i was a kid in a one-parent family) and then taking away a baby from the parents because one "isn't bright enough"? I can't get my head around it.
Although this country is really shit for fathers rights sometimes. Unless you're married, the father has no right to responsibility (other than financial) ...
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CocoBongo
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« Reply #30 on: November 11, 2009, 06:59:55 am » |
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Wow this is just awful!
For a start, from her interview, it doesn't sound like her disabilities are really bad and to be able to take the baby away when the dad is perfectly fit and wants to raise the child, just because they are not married is just insane. I can't believe they could just take your baby off you like this!
Obviously not the same but this reminds me of how because I was a 'young' mum (I was 19 when I had my little girl), I used to have to have a health visitor come and check up on me all the time and she used to bring me these condescending cartoons of a baby on the edge of a bed, like "What's wrong with this picture?"..."the baby could fall off the bed"...."Seee!! Well done! You ARE a good mum!!!!", as if I was five years old or something. The woman couldn't believe her ears when she heard of all the qualifications I have etc. And at the same time they were treating me like this, there was a junkie who lived on the same road as me, who was popping out kids right left and centre and trusted to bring them up! It's unbelievable.
Maybe they should spend more time on the people who are endangering their kids like the Baby P case, and less on families like this one who clearly are all loving and supporting and I'm sure would do just fine bringing up the baby. If needs be, keep an eye on them yes, but to just take the baby away for no reason is terrible.
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mysticgirl5
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« Reply #31 on: November 12, 2009, 09:55:16 pm » |
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 If the facts are what they appear to be in this article, then this is some serious bullshit. I don't know what the laws are in Scotland, but do people not have rights there? At the very least, they can't just tell the dad that he has no rights to his own child without a damn good reason. They need to stand up and fight this shit. Crackheads are allowed to have kids. Wife beaters have kids. But people with learning disabilities aren't allowed to have them? What kind of fuckery is this? Now there are people I look at all the time and say 'damn, they should not have been allowed to breed' but really, it's not my call and it's certainly not the government's call. Unless there is a substantial reason, and something more than she's not very bright (quick, someone tell Paris Hilton not to move to Scotland; she can't have kids there!) It's scary, really, to see that happen to someone; to see how much of our personal freedom is being taken away little by little. It's a door that should not be opened. There is a similar situation going on with the neighbors that live in our back house. Both of them have some kind of disability. A few months the female, who's about 20, came home from an appointment with their social worker all upset because apparently she asked if she could have a baby and the social worker said no, they'd take it away.  Mind you, I heard this secondhand and not right from them. And then last month they come to our door and tell us she's pregnant and show us the ultrasound pics. I didn't want to exactly ask if they'd be allowed to keep it. From the way they are talking, they're planning on it. I hope they are not in for a nasty surprise. I have mixed feelings about it because the guy is dumber than shit, quit his job for no good reason, and comes over asking for food all the time because they don't know how to budget even with all the help they are getting. I think if she got out from under his influence she'd be a good mother with some assistance but him...he's just content being a dumbass and I honestly don't think it's his disability. My mother works with disabled people and the minute she met him she saw what I saw - he uses his mental disability as an excuse to not take care of himself and to manipulate other people. Can he take care of a baby? Er...I wouldn't leave my cat in his care, much less a kid. But the fact that he has no job, can't pay his bills or keep food in the house is an actual reason - not his mental disability alone.
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