If he IS dead, these people look really dumb right about now
http://www.hecklerspray.com/we-told-you-bernie-mac-wasnt-dying/200815596.phpWe Told You Bernie Mac Wasn’t DyingAugust 8th, 2008 at 13:00 by Ian Dransfield
bernie mac getting better release from hospital pneumonia sarcoidosis It’s great being right about things, like we at hecklerspray towers usually are.
No, wait - always are. That’s the line we’re going with.
So it’s good news firstly to see that Bernie Mac - hospitalised last week with pneumonia - is on the road to a full recovery, and is expected to be released from hospital in a matter of weeks.
Secondly, it’s good news to see that we said he’d be fine, as it goes hand in hand with out ‘always right’ thing that we’re going for. It’s great being psychic medical professionals that never misdiagnose, as hecklerspray would appear to be.
Though, to be honest, we were more or less only going on the word of Bernie Mac’s spokesperson, much as we hate to break the illusion. We aren’t psychic. Just omnipotent.
The floundering, hysterical reports covering Mac over the last week would have you believe anything from “he’s on his way out,” to “he’s definitely dead” and back to “oh wait - no he isn’t,” with speculation running wild that Bernie would no longer be able to star in ‘Oceans 14: Oceans in Space’.
But no - the doubters, the nay-sayers and those hoping, praying for a celebrity death were once again left disappointed. Seriously - some people have sweeps on these things. Disgusting. Though only as we haven’t actually won any cash on them yet. There would be an off-the-cuff comment here about a certain deceased actor, but it suffers from ‘Too Soon’ syndrome and people get upset.
So instead just think about kittens. And Bernie Mac getting better after his bout of pneumonia.
Not only has our omnipresence helped in the hecklerspray prognosis of Bernie, but we got some words to help us show we’re not making it up. Which is always useful. A statement released by Danica Smith, Bernie Mac’s publicist, said:
“Bernie Mac is in stable condition in a Chicago-area hospital. He is responding well to treatment and hopes to be released in the next few weeks. His family thanks everyone for the well wishes and concern.”
Now, not to sound ungrateful for the thanks we all get there, but surely hecklerspray should get something more for our incredible levels of support and prescient knowledge? Like a gift? We don’t ask much, just a gold-plated throne for Stu to come back to when he returns from TV Land. He’d like that kind of thing.
While we wait for the package - use Parcel Force or City Link, they tend to be best with the big parcels - we can sit back and watch repeats of ‘The Bernie Mac Show’ and wait, ready to greet Bernard on his release from hospital.
It also means that when he is finally released we can get back to taking the piss well and truly out of him, as it’s never funny to mock ill people. Unless they’re racists, or Christians or whatever.
THE BIT JUST THEN THAT SAID ‘CHRISTIANS’ WAS A JOKE, CALM DOWN.
Buzz up!